Please or to access all these features

SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

A thread for Beatrice: Because a life filled with love is a life worth living.

958 replies

cupofteaplease · 03/10/2011 15:18

We are back from the hospital, Beatrice has been fed and dh has gone to work. So I have time to sit down and start the first post about the journey ahead, which I hope will be a long and happy one.

Beatrice was born at 36 weeks weighing 3lb 14oz. After an initial diagnosis of Edward's Syndrome was proved to be incorrect, an MRI and genetics tests were carried out and today we have some initial answers.

Beatrice's brain is very small and underdeveloped. The consultant described it as 'simple', because it does not have all of the detail expected in a typical brain. She explained that we should expect Beatrice to be severly disabled. She is also very small and delicate, and at risk of catching infections. They anticipate that she may suffer from fits. They have told us to watch out for her breathing during feeding, as her muscles are weak. They also commented on her shallow breathing pattern. They believe the problem was caused by a gene that both dh and I must carry, but they haven't got the answers yet and admit that they may never know. They have ultimately described her condition as life-limiting.

However, we have left the consultation feeling at peace. We don't know what the future holds, but realistically, neither do the doctors. We have great faith in Beatrice, she amazes us every day, and she is surrounded by so much love from us and her wider family.

I would like to use this thread as a space to jot down how she is doing, and how we as a family are coping with life. If anyone wants to check in and follow her progress, please do. We couldn't have got through the past 2 weeks without MN. Smile

OP posts:
SarahFim · 23/12/2011 08:38

Yes, Happy Christmas to the whole cupoftea family Xmas Smile and a special squeeze and Christmas bear for little Bea [fbear] .

fairimum · 23/12/2011 09:41

Merry Christmas to the whole teaset :) xx

saffronwblue · 23/12/2011 10:49

Happy Christmas to you all. Will be sending a loving thought to Bea on the day.

4madboys · 23/12/2011 16:39

happy christmas to the cup family, all my love to you all xx

Northernlurker · 23/12/2011 19:01

Thinking of you, hope Bea continues to do well

fhdl34 · 23/12/2011 23:10

Merry Christmas to you, your husband and all 3 of your gorgeous girls. Enjoy your first christmas with little Bea, may it be the first of many happy ones to come xxx

cupofteaplease · 23/12/2011 23:24

Thank you for the lovely Christmas messages. I wish everyone who has followed or helped me on this thread a peaceful and merry Christmas too.

We came home from hospital yesterday, with a quick detour to the fracture clinic for another cast change. Bea now weighs 7lb 12oz. Slow going, but another gain.

It is strange having her on oxygen, I feel more scared and nervous than before, and going out of the house seems like a distant dream.

We had a pretty awful letter come through from the consultant this morning. I think my 'favourite' line wa, 'She is at high risk of sudden death.' Well thanks for ruining any scrap of Christmas spirit I had left Sad.

My dd2 made me so proud and tearful this morning. I watched her cuddling Beatrice and kissing her head over and over again. Then she stopped, put her hands together and closed her eyes (She's in reception of a church school, praying is her new favourite thing!) and said, 'Dear God, thank you for Beatrice. Please don't take her to heaven as I love my little sister and I want her to stay. Amen.' I so, so wish her prayer could be answered. I'm not sure how we'll all cope with the pain of her passing. I just pray it is a long time away.

Must try and sleep, the weekend ahead looks to be manic.

OP posts:
ExitPursuedBySanta · 23/12/2011 23:32

And Amen to that.

I wish all of you a beautiful Christmas with Beatutiful Beatrice the Brave.

Much love.

saffronwblue · 23/12/2011 23:35

Oh, cup that made me teary. I don't know how you deal with the beauty and terrible fear of it.
You must get such a thump when you get letters like that. Just keep on focusing on each moment with your three beautiful daughters.
I bet Bea loves the brightness of the Christmas lights and decorations.

SparklyGingerbreadMuffin · 23/12/2011 23:40

I would just like to send my sincerest wishes to you and yours Cup, and in particular a very happy 1st Christmas to Bea xxx

TCOB · 24/12/2011 00:39

If there is a God (and I fervently believe there is) then your DD2's prayer will carry more weight with its innocence, its beauty and its altruism, than a million others ever could. Bea is here, and she has the right to be here, and there are bigger things at work than her consultant in Bea's story. All love and hope and best wishes for Beatrice Primrose, who is right and perfect as she is, and for you and all of her family, for her first Christmas x

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 24/12/2011 00:40

Cup my love, I do wish you didn't have to read those letters :( It made my stomach drop - let alone yours.

Bea is putting on weight, fighting off nasty bugs & proving them all wrong. Fecking consultants.

Christmas with your three girls will be magical - don't let the bastards rob you of that.

DD2 is such a little sweetheart. Your DH is a lucky, lucky man - 4 wonderful, loving, gorgeous women in his life!

Have a good Christmas - make it the best you possibly can and just keep taking it all one day at a time. None of us know how long we will be here for, all we can do is enjoy it one day at a time. x

zebrafinch · 24/12/2011 05:29

Merry Xmas Teaset .

DD2 Xmas Smile A bit misty eyed here
Beatrice at home with her loving family, what a special, special Xmas

bishboschone · 24/12/2011 06:55

You must be so proud of all your daughters . Wishing you all a safe and peaceful Christmas .

Angelswings · 24/12/2011 08:45

Happy Christmas to all the family

Your daughters are a credit to you and your DH. I too pray that your DD2's prayers are answered and that you can put the hospital (esp the Dr) behind you and have a wonderful time at home

DutchOma · 24/12/2011 09:07

Wishing you a very blessed Christmas.

starfishmummy · 24/12/2011 09:34

So glad that Bea is home fo Christmas.

I hope that you all have a lovely time

SarahFim · 24/12/2011 09:39

Yes, Cup, try to savour one day at a time and take all the positives you can from it. I think I might be putting my head in the sand as best I could and just enjoy the snuggles with my beautiful daughter.

I guess the docs have a professional duty to state the "truth" as they perceive it, but they can't predict the future accurately and they mustn't rob you of hope and enjoyment of the time you do have with Bea, however long or short that may be. And honestly none of us knows how many days we individually have left to live, do we?

Remember all the children that have confounded expectations and done so much better than the docs predicted. And love and prayer is very powerful, really makes a difference.

Can you ask someone to read hospital letters for you (DH, DSis, DM?) and just tell what you need to know and edit out the unhelpful sentences that are so discouraging?

Have a lovely, lovely Christmas Xmas Smile xx

Northernlurker · 24/12/2011 09:49

Cup - I'm praying for a miracle. Nothing is impossible for God. Smile

stegasaurus · 24/12/2011 11:20

Happy first Christmas to Beatrice, merry Christmas to you and all your wonderful strong family and happy new year. Hope the new year goes well for all of you.

CaroleService · 24/12/2011 12:03

Happy Christmas Bea and Family! From your extended family x

(Please, Cup, if you have time and it isn't adding to your stress, post another photo for us admirers.)

sybilfaulty · 24/12/2011 12:09

Dear Cup of Tea, I am so glad to hear that B is home for Christmas. I had a quick sneak at your photos - 3 glorious daughters! The big girls look so very proud of their wee sister.

I am thinking of you and wishing you and your family all the very best for Christmas.

God bless.

Thumbinnapuddingwitch · 24/12/2011 13:23

HUrrah that Bea is home for Christmas! And really, we should rename Dr. Doom "Dr. Scrooge" - very bah humbug letter! She really has no idea :(

Merry CHristmas to you all, Cup - your DDs are all wonderful (and no doubt take after their mother) - hope you all have a fabulous day together. xxx

4nomore · 24/12/2011 13:51

Dr Doom needs a good (loving, educational and festive) kick to the rear. Hope you and Bea all have a peaceful xmas.
x

stressheaderic · 24/12/2011 15:19

Another follower of this thread who would just like to wish a heartfelt merry Christmas to you and yours Cup, I hope it is special and memorable for you all xxx