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A thread for Beatrice: Because a life filled with love is a life worth living.

958 replies

cupofteaplease · 03/10/2011 15:18

We are back from the hospital, Beatrice has been fed and dh has gone to work. So I have time to sit down and start the first post about the journey ahead, which I hope will be a long and happy one.

Beatrice was born at 36 weeks weighing 3lb 14oz. After an initial diagnosis of Edward's Syndrome was proved to be incorrect, an MRI and genetics tests were carried out and today we have some initial answers.

Beatrice's brain is very small and underdeveloped. The consultant described it as 'simple', because it does not have all of the detail expected in a typical brain. She explained that we should expect Beatrice to be severly disabled. She is also very small and delicate, and at risk of catching infections. They anticipate that she may suffer from fits. They have told us to watch out for her breathing during feeding, as her muscles are weak. They also commented on her shallow breathing pattern. They believe the problem was caused by a gene that both dh and I must carry, but they haven't got the answers yet and admit that they may never know. They have ultimately described her condition as life-limiting.

However, we have left the consultation feeling at peace. We don't know what the future holds, but realistically, neither do the doctors. We have great faith in Beatrice, she amazes us every day, and she is surrounded by so much love from us and her wider family.

I would like to use this thread as a space to jot down how she is doing, and how we as a family are coping with life. If anyone wants to check in and follow her progress, please do. We couldn't have got through the past 2 weeks without MN. Smile

OP posts:
Thumbinnapuddingwitch · 18/12/2011 22:03

Oh that's good Cup - well done - hope that Dr Death sticks by it too.

SarahFim · 18/12/2011 22:25

So glad to hear our little Bea has lovely PINK cheeks! I think so many of us have really taken her into our hearts, and are praying and willing her to be well enough to come home for Christmas.

The docs do their best but they just don't know what is going to happen with Bea. I hope you have some staff there who are showing you some basic human compassion, and are giving you support to have some hope that she could thrive. That's what parents do - hope for the very best for their children and it's a bit cruel to take that away. You could probably have ten MNetters in the next hour on this thread telling you how well-meaning docs underestimated how well their children would develop - so take heart!

Angelswings · 18/12/2011 22:32

Continued prayers and hugs from the Angel (was Eagle pre Christmas) clan. Thank you for the updates, we will pray you are all home by the end of the week. So pleased you were able to go to see your daughters school nativity.

Our friends daughter was told she would never make it through infection. She beat swine flu!

peggyblackett · 18/12/2011 22:41

I should add that my dd was frequently hospitalised with chest infections as a babe/ toddler (she has an undiagnosed chromosomal abnormality) and she is now a pretty robust 7 year old :).

MunchingNoPickles · 19/12/2011 01:01

You can do it Bea and I hope u can have a nicer pead in the new year Cup.

weblette · 19/12/2011 06:43

Thanks for the update cup, I'm stunned at Dr Death's behaviour and utter lack of compassion, Santa could do with delivering a nicer consultant!

madoldbird · 19/12/2011 07:10

Massive prayers for continued recovery, and discharge home for Christmas. XXX

saffronwblue · 19/12/2011 07:10

Lots of loving thoughts and hope for Miss Bea to get home to enjoy Christmas. I am so sorry Dr Death is upsetting you - can't believe how she lacks compassion and sensitivity.
Cup you are teaching your big girls so much about love. And your littlest one too.

bigbluebus · 19/12/2011 11:20

Cup. So glad Bea is doing a bit better. Have got everything crossed that you can all be home for Christmas.
I really feel for you about the 'end of life plan'. We were put under pressure earlier in the year (when DD was very poorly with a severe chest infection) to put in writing that we didn't want her ventilated - I refused - on the basis that I will always be there for DD & will make my decisions based on her situation at any given time.
My DD pulled through when I don't think the Drs thought she would - the consultant's parting comment on discharge was "she's a star".
I have dealt with many paediatricians over the last 17 years and have found them all to be lovely and they have never writen DD off in spite of all her difficulties - they have always been honest about the situation at the time but have always given DD the best possible chance.
Dr Death clearly doesn't have the right bedside manner to deal with Bea and your family - time for a new doctor!

CaroleService · 19/12/2011 17:14

I am in complete awe of you, Cup.

Sod 'End of Life', you are at 'Start of Life', and we hope it's a joyous and fulfilling one, with minimal stress. Why is no-one helping you to plan for that?

lisad123 · 19/12/2011 18:21

i know yournot that far from me, if you ever need someone to sit, especially over xmas, with Bea, I would love to help. We dont celebrate xmas so my family wont miss me, but might be nice for you to know someone is there.
Have met a few mnetters in RL, if you need someone to vouch im not a complete nutter :)

Im glad she kicked Dr Doom, that girl has sense Grin
Hope your all doing ok today

weblette · 19/12/2011 19:24

Carole you are so so right Smile

Angelswings · 19/12/2011 20:10

Agree you need to let Dr Doom know you want a start to life plan, one without her as Bea's Dr!

stressheaderic · 19/12/2011 21:03

Like NorthernLurker, I attended our Carol concert last night and held Bea in my thoughts, this song reminded me of her http://www.carols.org.uk/a35-see-amid-the-winters-snow.htm See amid the winter's snow.
Thinking of you all daily, wishing you strength and courage. You're doing great xx

Concordia · 19/12/2011 22:06

just to say i have been thinking of you and beatrice. sounds like changing the consultant is the way to go, well done for being so assertive at at time when you have so much on.
hope beatrice continues to prove them all wrong. really good news that she was so alert in the cinema.

fairimum · 20/12/2011 13:13

How is Bea doing today xxx

cupofteaplease · 20/12/2011 14:39

Right, another blind update from my phone!

Test results have come back and show that Beatrice actually had pneumonia, as well as having aspirated on her vomit. Luckily she's been on antibiotics for 5 days, and she will finish the course. Her chest, however, now sounds clear.

She is still clinging onto 0.03 oxygen, so they have placed an order for an o2 supply at home, ad I insisted she was home for Christmas or I would steal her away in the night! Wink

The good news is, since being in hospital for song long, Dr Death had been forced to come in and see her and us. Consequently, she has filled out paperwork for the DLA appeal and has dictated a letter to the hospice to help with Bea's referral. So, I guess every cloud has a silver lining. Smile

I have escaped for a few hours. Yesterday to do my Christmas shop at Tesco, and today to ice my Christmas cakes. We have 7 people to feed Christmas Eve and Day, and 13 adults and 11 children for Boxing Day Xmas Shock so NEED to get organised. Older girls are 'on holiday' at the ILs, who are being fantastically helpful.

I feel positive today, the strength of my baby girl is empowering- I get the impression she likes life and wants to stay. Smile

OP posts:
4madboys · 20/12/2011 14:58

way to go go bea for beating pneumonia! so sorry she had to get poorly in the first place :( but what a clever strong girl she is and yes she likes life and wants to stay and who wouldnt with the wonderful family she has!! Grin

glad you will be home for xmas but get everyone else to do the running around!!!!

wishing you all a fun -filled and fabulous xmas and new year, all my love to the cup family xxxx

fhdl34 · 20/12/2011 15:05

What a strong little girl you have beating pneumonia. Way to go Bea! It sounds like you have a very busy festive season ahead but it'll be nice to have all those family and friends around, let Bea feel the love she has around her. I'm sure she'll be home for Christmas x

CestTout · 20/12/2011 15:28

Fantastic, fantastic news. Bea is doing so well and pleased to see Dr Doom has started to get the paperwork in order for you to proceed with DLA and help from the hospice. Will be hoping the O2 gets to you quickly.

ExitPursuedBySanta · 20/12/2011 16:05

Brilliant news that Beatrice the Brave has beaten pneumonia. It shows how strong she really is. She must get her strength from you Xmas Wink.

Gosh, what a lot of catering you will have to do over Christmas. Can you cope?

tinselstix · 20/12/2011 16:07

Fantastic news. What a beautiful, feisty girl you have. Xmas Smile

peggyblackett · 20/12/2011 16:10

Brilliant news cup, and well done Bea. Good news too that Dr. D is sorting out your hospice referral, they will make a world of difference in terms of support for you and your family.

Northernlurker · 20/12/2011 16:36

Great news Smile

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 20/12/2011 16:51

Love and (((hugs))) My admiration for you has gone even higher, 24 people on Boxing Day!? Are you sure it's a good idea? Xmas Shock