To struggle with the “furry” bullying

[CucumberBagel]

I could really use some wise words. My autistic 9-year-old daughter is friends with some (wonderful) children who are identify as therian. I’m of the opinion that it’s just a phase, special interest, and it’ll fall off. No harm. My daughter is just enjoying wearing a mask and tail and practising moving like an animal (quadrobics). She’s just a kid having fun. She’s home educated after years of struggling to attend school and we’re working to rebuild her confidence.

But my god, the snide looks and remarks from kids of all ages, even adults! Our neighbours teens were apparently filming them out of their bedroom window this morning. I’m fuming for my daughter, who is just a kid having a good time. It hurts her feelings. I’ve spoken to a few of the kids who are saying things and told them she’s just playing and to lay off, but I can’t follow her around like a body guard.

I’m also torn between the whole “ignore / rise above” thing I’m meant to be teaching her, and wanting to give a piece of my mind to every little jerk who thinks it’s ok to make fun of someone for being different.

Any wise words to help me put this in perspective?
(Any rude comments about Therians will be ignored. I think it’s a bit silly myself, but it’s no different to any other phase of self-expression for tweens and teens. Let people enjoy things if it’s not hurting anyone.)

What's tragic about this is, I'm spending my time on the SAME internet as the children you're talking about.

If I can see all the fetishists and porn related to furries on otherwise innocuous forums and videos, so will they.

The naivete 🙄

I never said adults, I said children.

Children who pretend to be fairies probably don’t trawl the internet looking for other people (including adults) identifying as fairies.

Different for Furries and Therians. Also a high percentage of people (children and adults) who are Furries and Therians are autistic, so children can be more vulnerable being involved in these groups

Exactly, it's no different to cosplaying or dressing up but people seem to think negatively all the time.

There are bad people in every single interest, you just need to know what to keep an eye out for. Most of us are clued up.

To the op:

let her play, ignore the people in here who blame home ed etc x

I assumed her therian-identifying friends were also 9 that’s all.
You are ignoring the influence of the internet spectacularly in all your replies.
Imaginary play is great and normal for 9yos, but this is not what your daughter’s friends are doing.

There was more than one child.

At 13 your daughter will be a lot more independent and if she’s going out dressed as a furry then she will attract the attention of people who are into the scene and, no matter how innocent her interest in the culture, not everyone she meets will be harmless. Have you spoken to her about grooming (and not the animal kind)?
Just for info - are you aware that not every furry uses clips to attach their tails to their backsides? If you’re not, then you should be.

You honestly, really think that someone dressing as a Disney princess for work is the same as someone dressing up in a fursuit and fucking on camera?

you’re not helping your “community” here. I’m even more firmly convinced it’s weird now.

I have actually! Thanks for the compliment!!!

You clearly say in your op that she has friends 'who identify as therians'. Posters are just pointing out that identifying as therians is very different to playing and pretending to be an animal. How old are these friends? Why do they identify as something? What is influencing them, and is your daughter potentially going to be exposed to those influences?

Quadrobics ? Ffs 😂

Lol at MN " being the most toxic place on the internet".
There are men out there threatening to rape and murder women daily, but this is the most toxic place.🙄

probably going to regret this.. but i'm very furry adjacent, i do convention volunteering for places like comic con..etc, so i know a lot of furries, and therians as they attend in their suits.

The reason your DD is being bullied by teenagers is a there is a VERY long, VERY boring history behind there being a Gamer vs Furry thing on the internet.

If those teens are 'gamers' they've likely come across it so they are going to be horrible to anyone they view as 'furry'

its juvenile, but very much a thing.

Furry in and of itself is to do with an interest in Anthropomorphic art/content.. so stuff like disneys Robin Hood, books like the Redwall series, or Wind in the Willows is generally where it starts.

Therianism also isn't new, when i started on the internet 100 years ago (feels like it) the buzz term was 'Otherkin'.. people who believed they were the souls of dragons, fae, elves, aliens..etc reborn into human bodies in error.. it was also riddled with people who were autistic as they had a feeling of being 'other' than the body they were in. Therian back then were simply the 'animal' souled people.

In more recent years Otherkin has fallen off, and the Therian aspect has come forward.

All that aside, it isn't helped by the free access to this kind of stuff on the internet, and the use of 'identify as' when kids come out with 'mama i think i'm a cat' rather than accepting and just pretending they are.

Language has side effects.

She is a very streetwise 13 year old and yes she has known not to speak to strangers since she was 4 years old 🙄 children showing interest in her tail is fine for her but she wouldn’t engage with anyone older.

I couldn’t care less where others clip their tails, my only interest is my daughter who is happy, healthy and intelligent and enjoys wearing a tail from time to time

Who are these friends who identify as Therians OP? Are they older?

I am wondering if I should google clip on tails and fursona.
Bloody hell, parenting is complicated these days.

i'd also like to point out that if your child is obsessed with stuff like Bluey, Peppa Pig..etc, that is anthropomorphic content. Animals with human speech, and emotions. Most of the disney talking animals is too.

It is normalised in childhood, yet some of you find it weird that the interest in it carries on into adulthood for some people?

The tails are attached to buttplugs, not clipped on elsewhere. Thats what the other poster was very politely alluding to.

there are some yes.. but for the record most of them have belt loops that you run your normal trouser belt through.

the kids wearing them are NOT wearing buttplug tails ffs.

jfc.

One is slightly older. All good kids, but according to Mumsnet I’m naive about both the company she keeps and internet use.

Clearly the lesson is, can’t stop the bullying, people are just judgmental and rude. Got the answer I needed, I suppose.

I wonder what the responses would have been if I’d just said she was dressing up like an animal?

You might have to explain that plug too. I only found out what it was in my fifties from reading Fifty Shades of Grey ….

It’s not ‘where’ others clip their tails, it’s HOW they attach them.

I simply don’t accept that any 13 year old is streetwise enough to escape grooming. Not speaking to strangers won’t protect her from that. Hundreds of thousands of teenage girls have been groomed up and down the country by men who were strangers, who turned into friends, who turned into rapists. I was a teenage girl once and I was a bloody idiot, despite being happy, healthy and intelligent. I was naive and your daughter will be naive but there’s no excuse for you being naive.

And? There are all sorts of buttplugs, why is that relevant here? Jesus …

My 9 year old isn’t wearing a buttplug tail. HTH.

Thank you. The fact that the poster is so poorly informed about the subculture her daughter is involved in is very telling.

I don’t think anyone starts with buttplugs. That’s what people are trying to to warn you. HTH