AIBU to think teacher should have consulted about this?

[Rinoachicken]

Don’t know the full story yet, will be speaking to school in the morning.

DS1 age 9 has just started year 5. He has ASD, always been well supported by the school. Last year discussed with the SENCO about some additional ‘social skills’ work for him as he really struggled last year with this aspect. He found the classroom too loud at times and this was managed by him wearing ear defenders at times or being allowed to work in the library.

He has come home today and told me all excitedly that he now sits at a table alone in the corner of the classroom and this is his permanent seat for the rest of the year. He loves it because he can concentrate better and doesn’t have to hear others chatting etc.

But I am concerned that this will only make it harder for him socially. It ‘others’ him and sets him apart from his classmates, who have up til now been mostly accepting of his quirks, just part of him. He will miss out on the class conversations of his friends (I know they aren’t there to chat but you know what I mean). He will also not be able to practice some of the coping skills the school we’re planning on helping him with this year, as he’ll be alone and not exposed to anything outside of his own personal bubble. His tolerance for others and ability to problem solve will not be able to be challenged and built upon. How is this helping him to grow and develop and be prepared for secondary school and beyond?

AIBU to think that such a major policy change for him should have been discussed with me BEFORE being put in place?

SofiaAmes - in the UK children with ASD etc have rights too - but court cases are costly and take money away from providing for students needs. Although there are groups of parents fighting for their children's rights through the courts right now.

However to start talking about court action in the OPs case would be extremely premature.
The problem here seems to be a new and possibly inexperienced teacher; who certainly hasn't thought about the fact that a child with ASD will take her words literally. And the teacher has now damaged her relationship with the OPs son.
It is possible that the SENCO (the person responsible for all children with special learning needs in the school) had a word with the class teacher about the OP's son's social needs.
Does your son's class have a TA @Rinoachicken? I do also wonder if his teacher is a NQT?

Good luck tomorrow OP

looks like you have got one of 'those' teachers.

either they'll 'get it' when you speak to them or you and DS are in for a rough ride.

His teacher is a very experienced teacher apparently, older male (my son’s first male teacher so far at school, which I was very pleased about).

Mollybutton I didn't mean to suggest that the OP should be threatening lawsuits, but my experience has been that using a few buzz words like "inadequate education plan for my disabled child and discriminating against my disabled child" were phrases that seemed to get more action out of teachers who somehow didn't think my ds' IEP (USA version of an EHCP) applied to them. I realize that the OP is early days yet, but I didn't start soon enough putting my foot down about my dc's special needs and regret that.
Ironically, the worst teacher that my ds had was the one male teacher that he had in elementary school. We were so excited about a male teacher and it was an unmitigated disaster, presumably not simply because he was male....but it certainly had lasting adverse results in Ds' attitude towards male teachers.

looks like you have got one of 'those' teachers
It doesn't seem so based on my experience.

I've worked with a number of "those teachers" and had the pleasure of managing them sacrcasm. This teacher doesn't fit the picture based on this, though some other SEN threads on here very much show what "those teachers" can be like.

From this thread I would guess the teacher is well intentioned, has a good range of tools, tried to work with the student's preference, not thought about how a child with ASD could take words very literally and is now going to have to rectify the situation. They come across more well intentioned with good ideas but a little clumsy in execution.

@LolaSmiles

I think so too

It’s definitely not a “those teachers” situation. It’s one who has tried to do the best, is still learning the particular quirks of the child in question and they obviously really do want to engage and help the child. I’d take that any day over the nightmare we had last year where the teacher lied, dismantled any provision and routines we had set in place to support my child - to the extent that at one point I was meeting with the SENCO weekly to try to keep things on track and the Head became involved and was absolutely livid at what had been going on!

I would take a “yeah we’ve got wires crossed and this needs refining a bit” over that woman who drove me to absolute despair and onto anti depressants any day. Was only the fact a student was also in the class who had more empathy and will to support all the kids - not just the pretty little high achieving girls - that made the year at all bearable.

Thank fuck we have the amazing SENCO this year who is just positivity embodied and bloody awesome!

@SofiaAmes - that sounds soooo like my eldest who would talk to anyone and anything (even witters on incessantly in her sleep). She came home saying she had a tally chart with sanctions for talking and I queried it with the teacher to find out if she was being a genuine pain in the arse or if it was just trying to shut her up occasionally - in which case I wished the teacher the best of luck as the child never ever ever bloody stops talking!