Why do British children go to bed so early?

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We find ourselves out of sync. with everyone else in that we don't put our children to bed at 7pm; more like 9pm.

We do this because our children are always at their best after tea (they settle down to a good play), if we put our 5 year old to bed at 7pm she would be up at 5am, and it's easier in the morning to have no time at all. (If we have some time, they start to play and we can't drag them off to school/nursery).

It also gives us a chance for a lie-in at weekends and during the week to breakfast in bed before getting the girls up.

Does anyone else follow this civilised routine, or is it just us in the UK?

If you read up on the number of hours sleep a child needs to be healthy they need an early bed time unless your life style is such that they can get up after 9am which would mean HEing them.

What I can't understand is the idea that you put them to bed or send them to their rooms so that "you can have an evening" I have friends with young teenagers who do this.

Bizarre.

Unfortunately teachers are the ones who have to cope with overtired children who haven't had enough sleep.

If they're at preschool/school, have stopped napping and have an early start, then an earlyish bedtime becomes more of a necessity. DD still has a 3-hour nap at weekends and so goes to bed at about 10 then (as she did when she was a toddler) - otherwise it's 7.30-8. We still try to eat together most nights, though.

yes, what Riven said - buggered if I'm cooking twice!

My two would be miserable if kept up late.They both go to bed at 7pm and have to be crowbarred out of bed at 7.30 in the morning,for school.They eat with both of us every night and always have.They are ok with the odd late night,we all often eat out at restaurants together,and more often than not,we get compliments on their behaviour and manners.

I think bedtimes should be determined by the child and the routine of the particular family. That being said, children do need 10-11 hours a sleep a night, particularly young school aged children. If a child needs to get up at 7am (6:30 in my case), just count backwards and you will come up with the appropriate bedtime.

I do hope tat those children going to bed at 10-11pm are waking up at 9-10am. My only concern with this pattern is that it isn't conducive to school hours, and trying to change an established routine is difficult.

Mine have never been to bed before 8 and most of the time it was nearer 9!

A case in point. DS stayed up later last night, it's half term and we ate together, so bed at 8.30 rather than 7ish. He might've woken up 1/2 an hour later than usual, but already I want to cave his heed in! He's a nightmare.

I was out last night in a restaurant in Britain with 5 dcs between 11 months and almost 6. We were not the only group of people out with children. Its the holidays and my only experiance of being on the continent has also been during the school holidays and I suspect all the local children out in restaurants and whose behaviour has ranged from stonking huge tantrums through normal sitting/eating/talking to sleeping in buggies may have been deviating from their normal term time routine too.

We left the restaurant at about 9.30 and my dcs slept in the car. They are all still fast asleep. If this was a school day we shoud have left the house 25 mins ago. They usually go to bed between 7-7.30 and my 4yo gets up at about 7.30 and I have to drag my 5yo out of bed soon after and chivvy him along all morning. I wake my 11 month old (bedtime approx 8-8.30) at 7 so I have time to feed him before school run. If we weren't so anal and repressed and could just enjoy ourselves like marvellous continental families then our mornings would be a nightmare.

My friends 2yo whom I was out with last night was awful and whiney and wouldn't eat because she was too tired. We had been to do something in the afternoon so she had only had a bit of a nap in her buggy. If she had gone home for a proper nap then the 3 older dcs would have missed their afternoon activity. Sleeping in the afternoon so we could have a late meal wouldn't have been more fun for us.

We usually eat together at 4pm before dh starts work. Obviously his working hours are not normal but people do get horribly sneery about eating early but I am not living in an Edwardian novel and eating at a time that suits ny family doesn't mean that I am common and vulgar.

My aunt (from China) keeps her dss up very late at night but they sleep after school and can't do any afternoon activitys (the oldest one is 11). They aren't swanning around nice restaurants being beautifully behaved, or having quality family time, they are just watching dvds or playing on the computer.

In hotter climates they do stay up later, but they will get a siesta in the hottest part of the day and there will be a continental school day which will allow for a siesta after lunch-shops will be closed etc. The British school day doesn't allow for late bedtimes and no one wants their child dropping off for a nap at 4pm! Boarding schools have early nights because they have control and want alert DCs in the classroom. Holiday times are different because the DC can get the 10/11hrs.

I don't think you can compare bedtimes of a 5 year old with a 14 year old. Thats just silly.

As for "evening time", I put DS (6) to bed at 7.30ish as he is in my face all the time and I would shout at him otherwise. I'd be horrified if he was still like this as a teenager.

I'm a big fan of early bedtimes - as a SAHM I really need that peace/time to work/spend with DH

I think it's definitely a UK thing - everything finishes so early here (school, shops shut etc), dark nights. I have my two youngest in bed by 7pm and my 5 year old stays up til about 7.30-8 playing or reading in her room.
We lived abroad in Spain and I worked til 8pm (pretty standard there) so it was inevitable that we kept DD1 up, even though she was tiny, so I could see her when I got back. But then we didn't eat til 10pm and would go out at midnight to meet friends so 8pm seemed early.

But it does mean that we only eat together as a whole family at the weekends, which is a real shame.

Oh and before anyone gets all ranty about me not enjoying my kids blahblah I love them very much. One is much more demanding than the other, however, and it suits us both ( as mentioned earlier ) to have some solo time.

Forgot to add, the Spanish government is always moaning about children going to bed too late in Spain and how this affects their school work (they have one of the lowest levels of literacy etc in Europe). There used to be adverts on TV about children needing more sleep! But then, it's not uncommon to see Spanish children in restaurants mid-week at midnight.

We have just got back from 6 weeks in South America, we soon had to get used to having the babies up with us all evening as that was the norm there. Families ate together in the evenings (out or at home) and we really enjoyed it. However, I have to admit that we haven't continued this since getting home, both children in bed by 7.30 and up by 6.30. It just doesn't seem to make sense in this country- siestas are not part of a normal day, therefore long evenings aren't either.

Utterly agree with SofaQueen on individual needs of families/kids - as long as kids are getting enough sleep.

I'm English/French, and have tried it both ways - when we only had dd1, we used to love going for summer evening walks with her at 7pm before her milk and bed routine...park would be deserted! She would sleep at 9pm and get up at 8am, perfect timing for pre-school down the road.

dd2 has different sleep needs (wakes up earlier no matter what) and dd1 is at school now, so they go to bed at 7.30 and 8/8.30 respectively on a school night, which means less family suppers (still manage 3-4 per week) but works well overall.

I'm looking forward to them being older and shared evenings, personally, but then again dd2 is at pre-school and dh doesn't work in the mornings so we do get time to ourselves

my dc 20mths, 4 and 7 go upstairs to bed at 7ish,teeth, book and bed by 7.15 and asleep by 7,30 if not before

7yr may wake before 7am (rare) but knows not to come and distrub till after 7am - she reads n bed etc, often all 3 get woken up by 7.30 - which gives us an hour to get dressed,breakie, teeth, hair etc abefore leaving for school at 8.30

children need a decent nights sleep,one of dc7 school friends takes hisself off to bed when he wants ,often 9.30ish - he has rang before/or his mum has about 9pm wanting to speak to dc7, and both mum+child are suprised when i say is in bed, been asleep for past 90+mins

it is also nice to parents/nanny to have relax time in evening, as as 7yr gets older, then she can stay up later, but maybe from 8pm read in her bedroom - but at the moment, she needs 11/12hrs sleep

Laughs hollowly at this mythical Italian paradise where (beautifully dressed and stylish, presumably?) children are engaging in adult conversation on restaurant terraces......If someone could drop me a line (and I'm sure LaRagazzaInglese will join me) and tell me which bit of Italy that was, then I'll get me bags packed, because it sure as heck ain't the bit I've lived in for the past 15 yrs.

Grass. Greener. Etc.

It's not naps. We lived in Italy for years - Italian children don't nap more than british children do. They do go to bed around 10pm, and the teachers at school would complain endlessly about it and call meetings to tell the parents that they found it difficult to teach the children as they were so exhausted etc.

My children are happy to go to bed anytime between about 7pm and 10pm and it doesn't make a blind bit of difference to when they wake up. So I put them to bed according to what I'm doing and whether or not I'm still enjoying their company .

Btw my children are Italian and behave horribly in restaurants despite having had masses of practice

I have never understood this either. Always assumed it was my French heritage colouring our children's routine, but they've NEVER gone to bed before 8 and were always awake at around 7 as smaller children (up to about now really). They have certainly never been dropping from tiredness at 6pm! I think children who do this have acquired it, frankly.

We always eat as a family at 7-7:30 and they used to go to bed straight afterwards. If my husband was running late they'd have their bath and get into pyjamas before supper so that there be only toothbrushing and stories to do after. But they were also perfectly fine if kept up later occasionally (e.g. 10 or 10:30) and perfectly well behaved if we went out until that time.

My dd came pre-programmed such that she woke up around 6am regardless of when I put her to bed - so if I put her to bed late she woke up at 6am just the same but was tired and crabby all day...