Why do British children go to bed so early?

[Builde]

We find ourselves out of sync. with everyone else in that we don't put our children to bed at 7pm; more like 9pm.

We do this because our children are always at their best after tea (they settle down to a good play), if we put our 5 year old to bed at 7pm she would be up at 5am, and it's easier in the morning to have no time at all. (If we have some time, they start to play and we can't drag them off to school/nursery).

It also gives us a chance for a lie-in at weekends and during the week to breakfast in bed before getting the girls up.

Does anyone else follow this civilised routine, or is it just us in the UK?

We eat together every night and that means that the youngest goes to bed around 8.30 and the oldest 9pm or so. I do remember going to bed very early as a child and I think it was more about our parents having time together without us, than any needs of ours for that amount of sleep.

susie100, I find it odd on the continent that you go to a restaurant at 11pm and there are children all over the place. That to me seems far more troubling. You're going to be very popular if you start taking your children to restaurants here at that time of night!

DD goes to bed at about 8.30pm and wakes at 7am. That is just how it has evolved but any later than that and there would be no adult time with DH.

I used to live in California and all my friends there are now having babies and are obsessed by Gina Ford's 7-7 routine. So their kids are all in bed early too, but hopefully that will just be while they are babies. If I had the warm Californian evenings I would beg my kids to stay up and so we could picnic at the beach etc.

kids abroard often have a long siesta mid-day then stay up late. english kids drop this nap early.

my kids need bed by 7pm latest - so away they go! and for 12 hours ...(i also get 2 hours nap still, though mine are v. young)

DS (6) and DD (4) go to bed between about 7pm and 8pm. When there is school they wake about 7:30am. This week they are waking about 8:30am. Which suggests that they probably need a bit more sleep than they are getting and if they went to sleep later, they would be worn out.

As for the eating thing, as DH is frequently not home until about 10pm, I eat with the children in the evening as otherwise we would all fade away.

Interesting topic. I live in the UAE and many children here (both Arab and expats from Asia) stay up very late - the parks and shopping malls are packed full of families with small children till midnight. I understand that the children get up later and sleep more during the day. Probably to do with the weather - it is so hot that the evenings are the best time to get outside.

Expats in the UAE who are British, NZers or Australians generally put their young children to bed between 7-8pm. My children are usually in bed by 7.30pm because they wake at the same time in the morning no matter what time they go to bed - but they will be grumpy and out of sorts if they are late to bed.

They do sometimes stay up later by the way. Especially on holiday.

I home ed now but my DD went to school for a year and I was basically called a liar by the head when she said that all children in her school go to bed by 7pm and I said (without naming names) the conversations I've had with mums would disprove that theory I got the 'ohhh I don't think so' routine.

DD is home ed so she goes to bed around 10 ish (she's 8) and wakes whenever she feels like it (still asleep now ). We don't eat an evening meal until after 8pm so she need the extra time to run it off.

I like to keep to the late bedtimes because in the summer she is usually out and about until sunset and I find she's more productive (school work wise) after lunch rather than first thing in the morning.

susie100 - you're probably right about whether you are working or not. We both work and then like to spend time in the evening with the children.

Plus, we all eat together at about 6pm.

Nice to see we're not alone...

I think some of it is that there is no room for naps in the British schedule. DS has been on the 9-7 sleep pattern for a long while and perfectly happy - with a nap in the afternoon. Preschool is on at us that 'he'll have to stop napping by autum, because of going to school' I've just realised that he finishes school at 3, so if he wants an afternoon nap he can have one. Its madness fitting small children into an schedule desinged around factories rather than people.

I am Italian and am also mystified by the 7pm obsession, having said this when they are at school and stop napping they get v tired so 7.30 -8 is about all DD can manage.

I think it is because in hotter climates they have had a sleep nearly all afternoon so are refreshed and ready for a lovely family evening meal/ walk after dinner etc.

I blame the weather....

And in the summer we never get to bed...can't turn in to do bathtimes whilst it's warm and light outside.

Sundays we stick everyone in bed earlier because they are a) always exhausted from the weekend, b) need to ensure that they've caught up for the next week in school c) like to have sex

I think the climate thing has a huge impact, although here children go to bed very early by French standards and we're in a very hot climate. But children here also drop their nap very early too, probably because in the middle of the day it is simply too hot to sleep unless you're lucky enough to have aircon, so it's more of an exhausting rest! But people get up early here to make the most of the cool mornings so swings and roundabouts!

I lived in Spain for 19 years and never saw any children 'participating' in an evening meal with adults.
I did see plenty of parents who considered it normal to go on doing what they did pre-children - going out and staying out till late eating and drinking and chatting.
I also saw a lot of exhausted children sleeping in their prams while the adults chatted and drank wine. Or running about near busy roads while parents sat in the terrazas.

My mum used to annoy me with her comments when she came to visit - 'Why don't you let your children stay up late like the Spanish children?'(subtext - she wanted to go out and sit in a terraza)
Um, because I like to put them to bed at night so they are not a nightmare the next day? Because I want some time to myself at the end of the day?
Because children need lots of sleep for good reasons, same as they need to eat properly.
Because I can't enjoy an evening out if I have my children (aged 2 and 5) running wild in the dark a street away with me.
For years every single family that I heard walking home below my window at 11pm or so had children with them who were crying with tiredness.

Never got this 7 to 7 thing myself. Dd was a 9 to 9 baby (in theory anyway) and now goes to bed at 8/8.30 on school nights. On weekends and holidays it can be much later depending on what we are doing.

DS does usually eat earlier than DH and I. My sisters don't do it and I wasn't brought up that way but it works for us. I feed DS at 5.30 or 6 and then DH and I eat around 8.

At weekends we tend to eat together though and I am sure that we will do so more if and when DS starts eating a wider range of foods! He is a bit of a fussy eater still.

DD2 (just 3) will not nap in the day therefore falls asleep around 6.30pm however she is a crap sleeper and often awake at least once in the the night and gets up around 6/6.30 however this does not bother me as I have to be up by 6.30 to be out of the house for either work or school run by 7.30 or 8 (depends which day it is) DD1 (5.6) goes to bed at 7pm and wakes around 7/7.30 she doesnt necessarily go to sleep at 7 but is happy to look at books etc and its her choice.

Personally I love the fact that by 7pm they are in bed as it gives me a few hours peace when they were younger dh often wouldnt see them as they would be waking as he left for work and asleep when he got home, but he now works 5am to 3pm so home by 3.30 to see them (although we only eat together at weekends week nights the dd's eat around 4.30/5pm but dh and I sit at the table whilst they eat and we eat around 7)

I think Aubergines point about climate has a lot to do with things. If it was light and warm here at 9.00 I would have no chance f getting the kids to bed early. As it is currently cold and dark it isnt too hard.

Summer comes and they go to bed a bit later.

No matter what time my 2 year old daughter goes to bed, she normally wakes up between 5am and 6am. She gets very tired by 6pm, and so she goes to bed between seven and eight. I have tried putting her to bed later, but she really does insist on getting up very early and resists daytime sleeping. I have never set a rigid routine for her, I've let her set her own, really, and keeping her up until 9pm would just be cruel, I think.

My stepchildren (7 and 11) are usually in their beds between 8.30pm and 9.00pm.

I think the afternoon siesta/late dinner thing is really nice, but that works in hot countries, I think, and doesn't necessarily suit the British climate...

susie, I think culture is more relevant than whether the parent is a SAHM or not. There are many more SAHMs in Japan than in Britan and yet a 9:30 bedtime is the norm here.

What I find most surprising was how 7pm is the desired bedtime for small babies, that I really don't understand.

It's an arbitrary time I guess decided by SWMNBN. Also quite iportant if you want to fix a wake up time of around 7am, which many parents do to get DCs out the house for CM/nursery.

It´s somewhat of a misconception the idea that "kids abroad often have a long siesta mid-day then stay up late"

In Spain children go to school from the age of 3 and they stay there all day, until 4 at the earliest or even 5 and there´s no siesta time to be had. I can´t speak for other EU countries.

The reason they stay up late is more to do with meal times, evening meal is rarely served before 8.30 and families do eat together.

And of course there´s the climate, the light summer months mean everybody is outside often until very late including babies and children of all ages.

I am always baffled by how Spanish children keep their eyes open, they have such a gruelling day from such a young age.

We've been reasonably flexible about dd's bedtime, and it varies widely between about 6:30 when she's utterly knackered, and 8ish when she isn't. Now ds is around and Not Bloody Sleeping at night, I do need to get dd into her bed - she can read and listen to stories, etc all she likes - earlier as I'm knackered and need to just stop and settle ds before falling asleep myself. I've no qualms about keeping children up late, though - on holiday in Italy we kept Italian time, and dd (18 mo at the time) was just fine with it - marched into a restaurant at about 9pm and shouted "PASTA!!!". Which duly arrived.

I think if the UK was set up more for doing stuff with children in the evenings, it would be easier, and do suspect the weather/light makes some difference. What do Scandinavians do?

fwiw, when dd was waking at 5am regularly, it made No Bloody Difference what time we put her to bed - believe me, we tried. Sher still has a nap most afternoons, which makes flexible bedtimes easier.