Why do British children go to bed so early?

[Builde]

We find ourselves out of sync. with everyone else in that we don't put our children to bed at 7pm; more like 9pm.

We do this because our children are always at their best after tea (they settle down to a good play), if we put our 5 year old to bed at 7pm she would be up at 5am, and it's easier in the morning to have no time at all. (If we have some time, they start to play and we can't drag them off to school/nursery).

It also gives us a chance for a lie-in at weekends and during the week to breakfast in bed before getting the girls up.

Does anyone else follow this civilised routine, or is it just us in the UK?

I'm surprised about how snippy some people are about this topic. My children are 4 (and in reception at school) and 2 and need 12 hours sleep a night. This means they roughly sleep 7.30-7.30. They can't sleep any later because they need to be up for school. The 2 year old sleeps for 2 hours in the afternoon too. Don't see anything weird or repressed in that schedule. Tired, whingy children do not a happy household make.

As for eating with the children, we will when they're older, but don't at the moment because my husband doesn't get in from work until about 6.30pm. I think British working patterns and the length of the working day are much more relevant in this discussion that vague notions of Victorian/Imperialistic middle class values.

I thought it was climate too.
We're in hibernating mode just now. But enjoy our warm, light evenings in the summer.
I simply am more tired doing the day to day stuff in the cold and dark. And DD seems to be too - doing her swimming lessons in the dark, getting up for school in the dark etc.

Either that or I blame the soaps.
Don't many women want to watch them from 7.30.

I don't think it's a British thing at all. I have lived in the UK for years but also spent several years in a few other countries and haven't ever come back to the UK in-between and been struck by the rigidity of British bedtimes!
I know many people who have barely any routine at bedtime or who keep their children up late to suit their agenda rather than the child's.
We have 3 DCs and bedtime starts at 7.30pm, ds3, who is 2, is usually asleep within 5 minutes of light going off because he doesn't allow himself to stop during the day for a nap so by bedtime he is worn out and just wants to sleep. He sleeps for about 12 hours. The older boys read or play quietly in their rooms, in PJs and all ready for bed but don't go to sleep until about 8/8.30pm depending on how tired they are. If I put them to bed later they would suffer as it wouldn't give them enough sleep to cope with school the next day and they would still want the 45-60mins wind-down before lights out.
DH is rarely home before 7pm so I often eat with the boys and even if I'm having a meal with DH later, I will sit at the table with the boys and have a drink or something to eat to keep them company.
I'm neither repressed nor governed by what I think a British bedtime should look like but it works for us and the DCs get enough rest and that's what's important.

'I think British working patterns and the length of the working day are much more relevant in this discussion that vague notions of Victorian/Imperialistic middle class values.'

I agree.

Also the climate here changes things.

expat and display I totally agree.

Gramercy that sounds awful!
Actually I do remember a little friend of mine leaving my birthday party early when I was about 4 because she was put to bed at 6

She went nuts as she had to leave when the clown was still in full swing, I have never forgotten it

When dd was a baby I had no routine at all but she got herself into a pattern of settling for the night at 7/7.30.

DS has never taken to that so gets bathed with dd then comes downstairs until he is ready to go to sleep, sometimes by 8, sometimes it's 10/11. I don't tend to stress about it but sometimes after being with him all day I would appreciate a bit of time to myself in the evening (and he wakes early no matter what time he goes to bed)

also, i rmeember bed time as a child as being private play time for reading, and playing silly games with my sister that would have annoyed adult forced to listen. fun, not the product of repressive regime-led parenting...

my toddler likes to play a while in bed, and look at her books before sleep too. what could possibly be wrong with that?

I also do better on 10 hours minimum sleep, so ought to bathy-beddy myself now.

My dc are 9 and 6 and they still need 10 - 11 hours sleep at night. They go to bed at 8 to 8.30 and get up at 7 to 7.30. If they got up any later than that we'd be late for school!

I'm all in favour of as many childfree hours as possible of an evening .

Does it really matter what time we put our kids to bed?

Is this something new to judge about?

Mine are in bed by 8. They sleep til 7.30-8.

We all eat together, at 6.

I work, DS needs to get up at 7am to get to nursery, he sleeps for 12 hours, therefore he needs to go to bed at 7pm.

I would love for someone to tell me how I can put him to bed later.

My two are 31mnths and 15mnths, bedtime is 7-7.30, they then sleep until 9 on average sometimes its later, rarely its earlier.

They then both nap 11-1 roughly sometimes shorter for elder one sometimes longer for the baby, the youngest also has another 30-40min nap after lunch.

We are flexible, in the summer late nights happen more often due to the long sunny evenings and more to do!

The youngest now needs her bed at 7, its extremely hard to keep her awake longer on a whim, so if a later night is planned i tweak her naps so shes had more later in the day.

i had no idea about routine when i had Dc1 we just slipped into this and it works nicely.

mine are 9 & 5 .
they have a bath at around 7-7:30 and then into bed.
by the time they have had a story etc its about 8ish.

they wake around 7.

Differentname - it doesn't matter at all what time people put their children to bed, provided the consequences thereof aren't a problem for anyone.

Ds is in bed for around 7p.m, then we read two books to him - so we might have him in bed for 7, but unless he is really tired he is usually awake until after 8 p.m.

I usually try to have ds in bed for an hour before dd goes to bed - so we can have an hour together, reading, chatting etc and hopefully so ds gets to sleep before dd goes to bed so there is less carry on.

Dd is in bed by 8.30p.m, she will read until very late if we let her, but I try during the week to have lights out for 9 p.m, dd lies in until we wake her just after 7 a.m - she would sleep later except at weekends when dd gets to stay up later and then wakes up early because it is the weekend, sigh.

Both my children can stay up late quite happily(they were up for the bells at Hogmany) -they don't lie in later the next day, and are usually quite cranky due to tiredness.

My dd is getting to stay up later as she gets older, as long as she gets up for school I don't mind.

When they were pre-school age I was much more relaxed about bed time. I relax bed times at weekends and holidays.

I do think some people can be a little uptight about bedtimes (not me ). I do like to have some peace in the evening though, so couldn't stand to have them up late every night!

Used to put mine to bed at 8 and they were horribly overtired and so now they go to bed at 7 (eldest is just 5)and sleep til 7,or 7.30 for DD1 and 8 for dd2.couldn't put them to bed any later or I wouldn't have enough time to get dd1 to school.

Mine go to bed when they are tired. The only thing I do is try to encourage them to go together so I can do story time and songs just the once! I am a SAHM and I home educate so not on a timetable so I happily let them stay up if they want to and they can sleep in until whenever suits them.

agree with gramercy, the obsession amongst the middle classes with routines in this country is pretty galling. Alongside the obsession with the micro management of every aspect of your childs life.

My dd is 3.5, she goes to bed when she's tired, anytime between 8pm and 10.00pm. Sometimes she'll have had a nap in the day, sometimes not. if she needs one she curls up on the sofa and instigates it herself.

we don't want or need her up up before 7.30am absolute earliest, pref 8.30 at weekends.

makes me when people moan about their dcs early rising but they're in bed at 7pm latest at night.

Each child is different. My DS goes to bed at 8, and wakes up between 7.30 and 8. Suits us perfectly.

We also make sure we always eat dinner with him - I do find it odd when families don't do this. So to enable this we eat earlier, which is better for the digestion as well.

But minx, I would love for DS to be able to sleep as and when he wants, but I have to go to work.

What does it matter to you what others do? Each to their own I say. It's pretty rude to refer to your choice of approach as 'civilised' imo

Mine go to bed at 7.30 for dd's 2-4 and 8pm for dd1, they all get up at 7am with the alarm.

At weekends they go to bed later depending on what we are doing, we are not too strict n routine for example today they didnt go to bed until 9 as we were at my parents.

I enjoy them going to bed at a set time so that i have a couple of hours to relax before bed.

small kids need a lot of sleep. if they didnt go to bed at 7.30pm they wouldnt have enough time to fit in the sleep they need before we need to get up at 8am!
My two are 4yo and 2yo and both still need at least 12 hours sleep (2yo has that PLUS 2-3hr nap)

My DC have very different sleeping habits and morning behaviour.

DS (6) needs 10 hours max and is starving from waking, leaps out of bed ready for action, normally woken by DH leaving for work around 6.30 - 6.45. We do bedtime for him around 7.30 but its up to him how long he spends up in his room playing and reading. Sometimes its an hour or more, tonight he fell asleep within 10 minutes ( very rare this, very busy day out ). We need time off from him as he's pretty full on and I think he also benefits from the solo play time as he doesn't do it much the rest of the day.

DD (3) on the other hand, is a real slug in the morning. She would gladly snooze til 8ish, snuggle in bed for a further hour, stroll downstairs for a bit, snuggle up in bed a bit more and then have a leisurely breakfast about 10. Sadly none of this can be accommodated. We put her to bed 6.30 - 7pm and she's nearly always woken by DS and then has breakfast foisted on her so can get out to school/pre school on time. So no snuggly time either. I expect she'll make up for it as a teenager.

Interesting subject. A friend of mine came over for dinner with her 13 year old son recently and made him change into his pyjamas at 9.00 before she dashed off in the car, saying it was rather late for him . It was a weekend as well.

I'm living in Scandinavia at the moment. Children do seem to go to bed much later than in the UK, but they're also out unsupervised until all hours and are generally given much less parental attention during the day. People are really surprised that I expect to interact with mine most of the day and the general parenting culture is much more hands-off than at home. I was feeling guilty about sending my kids to bed at about 9 in summer (they were 2 and 6) when we could see dozens of kids their age running around outside, but I just can't adapt enough to let mine do that and I do need a bit of time to myself in the evenings precisely because I've been interacting with the kids and/or working all day. Parents here can get that kind of time by sending the kids out rather than putting them to bed. But for Brits who feel the need to be justified, there is apparently a major issue about children being too tired to function at school...