Why do British children go to bed so early?

[Builde]

We find ourselves out of sync. with everyone else in that we don't put our children to bed at 7pm; more like 9pm.

We do this because our children are always at their best after tea (they settle down to a good play), if we put our 5 year old to bed at 7pm she would be up at 5am, and it's easier in the morning to have no time at all. (If we have some time, they start to play and we can't drag them off to school/nursery).

It also gives us a chance for a lie-in at weekends and during the week to breakfast in bed before getting the girls up.

Does anyone else follow this civilised routine, or is it just us in the UK?

Saw an article somewhere recently claiming children - especially teenagers - do not get enough sleep in this country and that teenage grouchiness and younger kids' tantrums may be the result of this rather than an inevitable part of child development. Not sure how true this is but I know if I'm not asleep by 11ish I feel grouchy and not at my best the next day (often fail at this).

ds is 6 and I used to feel a bit of a failure that he was never in bed by 7. When I WOH and commuted, this was because we weren't home from nursery until 6.30 so his bedtime was about 7.30. Now I'm worried his bedtime has crept to 8.30 and tbh his light often isn't out until 8.45 or he stays up reading even later. Cannot decide whether this is OK or whether I should be making a bigger effort to have his light out by 8pm.

My boys are in bed by 7pm, and they are usually very very ready for bed then.
DS2 does wake at 6am, but we have to be up and out early anyway. Even at weekends/holidays when we go to bed later he is up early.

When we're on holiday and evenings are lighter they go to bed a bit later and then we can all eat together.

Unfortunately DH has to work in the nearest city and is not home until 6.30/7pm, by then my DS1 in particular would have eaten half the fridge if he hadn't had dinner. He leaves school at 3.10pm. I split my evening meals between eating with the boys and eatng with DH, at weekends we all eat together.

That is our situation, it may well be pecularily British, I don't know, but it works for us and I honestly couldn't give a flying fig what others do.

Blimey FootStamper, since when has it been racist to discuss cultural differences?!

I'm sure the climate has a lot to do with when children go to bed - wamr, lighter nights more often = make sense to stay up later.

Bedtime has never made any difference to when my eldest gets up though, sadly. And my youngest goes at about 8:00 - 8:30 and still wakes about 6:30.

Late bedtimes do cause a problem if you want babysitters though. Not many people want to babysit kids who are up and awake.

If he seems ok in the morning and at school, edam, I'd let him be. Reading in bed for ages is fun...

Rockbird - if they are well behaved though then it should not be a problem. I agree I would not want to be having a nice dinner with whining chidren but why would you mind children at 11pm if they were just sort of there.

Footstamper - I am pleased no one has risen to your comments, they don't really deserve a response.

I agree with those who say its probably got something to do with the weather. Longer siestas in hotter countries and you also get tireder in colder climates. IT just gets so dark so early in the UK too. I reckon thats it.

DD has from a young age gone to bed at around 8, 8.30. I think that eating seperately from your children is a strange habit, and I also think that eating dinner too early (say at 5-6) is odd too. So, we would have dinner together at about 6.30 - 7.00 and she would go to bed a little later.

She is 14 now and goes to bed between 9 and half past school nights - she is a tyoical sleepy teen and if she stayed up any later she would be knackered at school.

But agree that shoehorning babies into bed at 7pm is a strange habit.

Well yes, I read in bed too, only I worry that he's not getting enough sleep. He does have dark circles under his eyes sometimes... and I need him in bed by 9 at the latest anyway as I do not have the strength to carry on beyond that. Only have enough energy to slump in front of the TV by then!

bebespain - is there really no opportunity for siestas in pre-schools in Spain?

Here in France all pre-schools have somewhere for the children (those that need it) to sleep after lunch.

x posts with said

I didn't mean my last post to come out as jugdy judgingtons as it sounds - me going on about strange haboits . Sorry everyone.

Edam totally agree re teenagers being as miserable as sin when they don't get enough sleep. When dd was younger though - from about 5 til 13 - she needed little sleep, would go to bed at half 8 or so and be up all cheerful (freeak) at 6.

I am not sure if it is a British v foreign thing I am foreign dh is British, we like to eat together everyday if at all possible, dd usually goes to bed between 8 - 9 depending on the day during term time
otherwise we are fairly flexible

I remember my mum telling me that the neighbours (who were already a bit at her being unmarried) were verrrry judgemental seeing me out in the garden with her at 9pm. This was in 1976 which was extraordinarily hot and I am very, very pale - if she'd kept me on a "normal" schedule I'd have hardly left the house. Makes sense that children in UAE or the Med stay up late and snooze in the afternoons.

We moved to the UK from Scandinavia in Sep. I have no idea what the Scandinavian norm is.

Some parents I know are quite strict about the early bedtime thing. Others I know are very lax about it and the children often go to bed when the adults go to bed, so it's a big mix in my experience. However, I can't think of a single family that I know where the children eat separately from the adults.

The working and nursery day starts much earlier than in the UK (most nurseries open at 6.30am and you're are generally expected not to drop your child off later than 9 / 9.30am because they go out for walks etc. Work often starts at 7.30 / 8am. However, the day finishes much earlier - people often leave work at around 3 / 3.30pm and most nurseries close at around 4 / 4.30pm.

Children nap during the day at an older age than in the UK, i think? (If I were to generalise).

Dd will be 4 in May and she still often sleeps for an hour or so during the day.

I still can't get used to the nurseries being open so late here (my 2 go to 2 1/2 days a week), but that's just because we're used to the other system.

(it's SkivingViking here by the way - I namechanged as was going to post some personal stuff on a thread but then didn't manage to post and forgot to namechange back. Am quite an intermittent poster though, so probably doesn't matter as no-one really knows me anyway )

Whatever time DD goes to bed she is up between 6 and 7am. her bedtime simply determines her mood for the following day.

I do what is right for my children.

I know lots of people who put babies to bed at 7pm - I tried it as part of Gina Ford's routine on recommendation from a family member, but it just seems ridiculously early. Gina Ford insists that baby should be in bed with lights out at 7pm, right through to toddlerhood and beyond, then they are up between 6.30 and 7pm. Ds has never been ready for bed at 7, and we never go to bed before 12, so his bedtime since newborn has been 9 til 9. SOmetimes he sleeps later, sometimes gets up earlier, but that's he general routine.
I think when you have a baby you should try (where possible) to fit the baby into your daily routine/times; so if you are in the habit of tea at 5, bed at 10, up at 6-7, then 7 til 7 bedtime routine suits. We don;t normally eat til 7, never did when I was younger either, so it's not a practical bedtime if we want to eat together.
I am very lucky howevere, ds(nearly 2) still naps from 12pm-2pm and is never whingy at any point before having his milk at 8.30.
I agree with what someone said about britain being earlier to start the evening though - when I stayed in France I was surprised to find the shops and restauraunts open much later than in the UK.

Dd1(6) goes at about 8:30pm, this works for her, any later and she is knackered when getting up for school. Over the weekend she can stay up untill about 10pm.

Dd2 (3) won't go to bed before 10pm, if we are lucky and she still wakes at stuipid o clock. I have concluded she just doesn't need much sleep.

Put your kids to bed whenever seems to work for you as a family.

Ignore others.

WHo cares? SO long as you all get enough sleep, you are doing well.

My best friends had their baby up till about midnight (on a feed/nap cycle) and then he'd sleep with one feed through to 8am.

Seems good to me but then i'm not a morning person so i'd gladly sacrifice evenings for morning sleep.

It's different with 'children' rather than babies or toddlers.. but then 'children' are less likely to wake everybody in the house up at 5am anyway.

There's a slight air of sneeryness (is that even a word) on this thread.

A kind of "ooh aren't people who put their children to bed early strange and repressed. I bet they wear supportive undergarments and hide packets of ginger nuts under the bed..."

My two (4 and 8 months) are usually merrily snoring at 7pm. They like bed and are very tired by then - particularly since DS started school.

I eat with them at 5pm because they are hungry and whingy.

Then I eat even more with DH when he gets home from work at 7pm.

Then I go upstairs and put on my wincyette nightgown and read mildly racy fiction whilst shovelling in the aforementioned gingernuts.

Works for me!

Right must do some work...

I am British...who said that I was stating 'racist twaddle'.

You're very welcome to ship me back to where I was born...the middle of Britain.

Actually, you're not because I prefer it where I live now.

All children and all adults need different amounts of sleep. Some of it comes from what you are used to and the habits you develope and part of it is just down to the personal body clock. When on holiday we let our children adopt a holiday routine of going to bed midnight and getting up 10am. They adapted fine but that routine would just not suit our lives in the uk, we need to be up for work and school. Dh and I are early to bed people normaly about 10pm sometimes even 9pm. We need our sleep. Our 3 yr old doesn't nap anymore so if he goes to sleep later than 8pm for more than a few days he becomes grumpy and unreasonable if he has to be up at 7ish for nursery. 7 and 10 yr olds go up to their rooms at 8pm so dh and I can watch grown up tv and generaly have some peace for a couple of hours before we start falling asleep. They are allowed to read or play quietly and put themselves into bed when they feel ready. They are normaly asleep or very almost asleep by the time I check on them before going to bed myself.

so many people are saying it's because it gets dark so early in the UK, but don't forget that it's winter right now but in summer it will be light here far far later than it is closer to the equator.

in scotland it can be light to 10pm in june. whereas in spain/italy it'll be dark around 8pm.