Why do British children go to bed so early?

[Builde]

We find ourselves out of sync. with everyone else in that we don't put our children to bed at 7pm; more like 9pm.

We do this because our children are always at their best after tea (they settle down to a good play), if we put our 5 year old to bed at 7pm she would be up at 5am, and it's easier in the morning to have no time at all. (If we have some time, they start to play and we can't drag them off to school/nursery).

It also gives us a chance for a lie-in at weekends and during the week to breakfast in bed before getting the girls up.

Does anyone else follow this civilised routine, or is it just us in the UK?

Lol Chandon. My kids are at school at 8am - it would be terrible for us if it was later as how would we get them there and get to the office?

I know, but most mummies there did not work.

I work but wouldn't keep them up very late just to spend more time with them, if my two don't sleep properly they are a nightmare .

Saying that we do have quite a long bedtime routine. So we start going up around 7.15pm, a bit of messing around in each others rooms, then lots of stories, then a lie down and chat before finally getting down stairs sometime around lots8pm or slightly later. DS1 (6) will be asleep in minutes, DS2 (2.5) likes to chat to himself for about half an hour but seeing as he usually has a good 2-3 hour nap at lunchtime I'm not too worried. They then get up between 6.30am - 7am which is when we get up anyway.

Wee Willie Winky runs through the town
Upstairs and downstairs in his night gown
Tapping on the windows
Spying through the locks
Is little Jimmy (replace with child?s name) in his bed it?s passed 8 o?clock.

Who said mums don't know any traditional rhymes!

As long as they are getting enough sleep, put your children to bed whenever is best for them aswell as for you.

Even if I put my children to bed at midnight, they'd be up at 5:30/6am. DH and I need some time alone! So 7:30 it is in my house

My DS (9 months old) goes to bed about 10pm and wakes in the night for a feed or two, then wakes up around 8am, which suits me very well. If I put him to bed earlier he just keeps me up at night. I work in the day so am very happy to have the evening time with him, or I would see little of him!

having agreed (I think?) that things are done differently in different countries, for perfectly valid reasons, I think the most important thing is to recognise these differences and adapt to different environments. For example, if you go on holidays in Italy and Spain in the middle of summer, don't expect the kids dinner to be served at 6 and the entertainment at 4 in the afternoon- if you want to really enjoy the holiday, you are much better off having a rest in the middle of the day (that's true for adults as well as children!) when it's too hot and sunny anyway, and enjoy the long, fresh evenings en famille.

Similarly, if you move to the UK (or Switzerland, in my case) in winter from said countries, don't expect to have a very full social life if you turn down all 2pm playdate invitations because the kids are napping while no one else is...

Sorry, but if I am in a restaurant at 9.30 pm,it is grown up time,I do not want you and your tired kids near me,I want a nice, quiet,pleasant evening, eating and drinking in peace. After a certain time,I like child free areas,you have all day for your children,I wouldnt dream of interupting your time,my kids are grown up,I have done all that.

fallon, was that addressed to me?

my message is aimed at anyone,,,,dont sit near me in a restaurant in the evenings and if you could stop them"roaming free" during the day,even better.I was once out having a coffee, a toddler filled her nappy right beside me,mum ,elsewhere in the room, carried on regardless,if I had allowed my dog to do that,quite rightly I would have been ticked off,why is it Ok to allow kids to do that? Mine are much older

I have 5 kids and none of them want or need to go to bed before 9.00. Just as well as I'd never get time to feed them all, help with homework, music practice, play and bedtime stories before then. They are all good at getting up at 7.30 which gives an hour to get ready in the morning - just enough.

I, on the other hand, won't mind your kids in a restaurant at all. Just please don't bring mine anywhere near me.

fallon. Perhaps you could wear a big sign saying "don't sit near me if you have children". And I presume you never holiday abroad, or do you expect all children the world over to conform to your schedule?

See, i really don't care what time everyone's kids go to bed, but i resent this type of attitude- well mine are in bed by 7, so should everyone else's, because after 7 i don't want to see kids

To keep British parents sane

LOL Buch

I suuggest you never leave the UK then fallon....

my DD (3.4 and at nursery in the day) went to bed at 10.15pm last night, having had a family meal at 8.45pm. She went to bed at 6pm the night before, without eating a specific dinner as such. She goes to bed when she is tired, and she eats when she is hungry. We don't have any routines....I don't make her eat three meals a day as she's a grazer, I don't make her go to bed at any time or we'll have tears, tantrums, and general arsing about until she decides she is tired. Best to just have her happy with us in the evening, when she wants to go to bed, she says so, hops into her PJs and puts herself in bed. As above, some days that is 6pm, some days it is 11pm. We go out in the evening with her to restaurants, cinema etc - or we'd never leave the house - she is well behaved, used to it and rarely any trouble. I like her to be self regulating, I think it is a skill for life.

Maybe due to the fact that for 3 months of the year, it's pitch black and miserable by 4.30pm

"Come on sweethearts, let's play pentanque in the garden..."

"Er, mum, it's 5pm... can't we just have a warm bath and go to bed..."

My middle child (20 months) likes to be in bed by 6.30! Doesn't get up much before 7.30am...

(But don't get me started on the baby - he doesn't want to go down much before 11pm - perhaps he has European aspirations?)

Each to their own. Mine are a pleasure to take out and always have been. Now they are older they are self regulating. I don't believe in grazing, but in 3 meals a day with home cooking and no snacks. Bedtimes had a routine and were regular. Tempers and tantrums got them nowhere, certainly not there own way! .They had a babysitter if we went out in the evening.I think it is all to do with personality rather than routines or lack of them. (at school it is fairly noticeable if DCs put themselves to bed when they feel like it-they very rarely feel like it at 7-8pm)
I wonder whether people need to spend out on tutors to pass 11+, maybe a proper amount of sleep would be more beneficial!

Sorry -their not there.

NormalityBites Your DD sounds like my DS. Has the as late as 11pm bedtime always existed or is it something that's happened as she's got a bit older. I take it she doesn't go to morning nursery? What do you think you will do when she goes to school?

My baby is still tiny but she already is in bed at 7 - sometimes she needs to go to bed at 6:30. she can get herself very overtred and if she isn't put to bed she will scream and scream. She went to bed at 6:45 last night and had a feed at 11:45 and then slept until 7, another feed and wanted to go back to sleep until 8:45 (which is later than normal - usually it's about 7:30/8) but I enjoyed it! She also sleeps a lot during the day - I know she is young but more so than other babies her age who we know. I need a lot of sleep so perhaps she is the same! She is 12 weeks old.

I like the 7pm bedtime though as after a full day I enjoy having some time to myself in the evenings, and if my husband gets home, I can also see him and eat dinner with him. If he does - he is a lawyer and works v long hours sometimes. So even if she went to bed at 9pm he wouldn't see her that much anyway - he does the early morning feed and sees her in the morning before work. When she is older we will eat together in the day and at weekends - I won't object to her staying up later at the weekends ( I grew up abroad as was allowed up very late on hols or at the weekend but went to bed at 7/7:30 in the week) - but I think school days are very tiring and she will need a lot of sleep. But then again, she's tiny still so I don't know yet! I also think 7pm is good timing if we want to have friends over and dinnerparties etc - then she is in bed when everyone arrives at 8:30 and I have had time to sort things out. I also agree it's easier for babysitters if the baby/child is already in bed.

But I completely understand each to their own - whatever works for you and your children.

I live in Portugal and kids are never in bed before 9. I used to put my DD, now 2, to bed at 7 and all my friends laughed at me! It worked when she was little and as I had been with her all day I valued my evenings to myself. By the time she was 1 though and it was summer we often found we were still on the beach or in the park until 6 or 7 and so bedtime became later and later. Now she is in school from 9 until 4 and she sleeps 2 hours everyday after lunch. When I collect her she is full of energy and we have a lovely few hours before bed at 9. I do agree that much of it is due to climate. From around April till late October it is lovely and warm here and the afternoons can often be too hot for the kids to play outside. That is why they still have a siesta and then go out at around 4 and enjoy the sun when it is not too strong.

nappyaddict she's always done it, she sleeps when she needs to sleep. She does full days at nursery 3x per week, so morning and afternoon, and has only ever fallen asleep there once. If I need her to go to bed so I can do something specific, I will take her to bed, she is amenable to explanation. She does not rule the roost. Some days she gets 10 hours sleep in 24 and some days 14-15 hours, it averages out to the recommended, anyway. She wakes up between 7-8am most mornings, earlier in the summer.