Why do British children go to bed so early?

[Builde]

We find ourselves out of sync. with everyone else in that we don't put our children to bed at 7pm; more like 9pm.

We do this because our children are always at their best after tea (they settle down to a good play), if we put our 5 year old to bed at 7pm she would be up at 5am, and it's easier in the morning to have no time at all. (If we have some time, they start to play and we can't drag them off to school/nursery).

It also gives us a chance for a lie-in at weekends and during the week to breakfast in bed before getting the girls up.

Does anyone else follow this civilised routine, or is it just us in the UK?

My children's bedtime is set by the time DP gets home from work, 7 pm. He [lucky old thing] puts them to bed as otherwise he wouldn't see much of them. They are in bed by 8. They wake up around 6.30 which as others have said is a good time to get up in order for us all to be ready for school.

DD1 who is 10 now stays up until 8.30 during the week and it drives me nuts that my evenings to myself are shortening.

But surely it depends on how long the child sleeps for? A baby or toddler who sleeps for 12 hours a night needs to go to bed at 7ish. A 10 year old who sleeps for 10 hours a night might go to bed at 9pm.

DD (6) usually goes to bed around 8pm and wakes at 6.45am when our alarm/TV usually wakes her too.

If she went to bed any later we'd struggle to get her up in time to breakfast/get ready for school (have to be on our way by 8am).

In America her cousins leave for school around 7.15am and are in bed before her, even though they are older.

DD (6) usually goes to bed around 8pm and wakes at 6.45am when our alarm/TV usually wakes her too.

If she went to bed any later we'd struggle to get her up in time to breakfast/get ready for school (have to be on our way by 8am).

In America her cousins leave for school around 7.15am and are in bed before her, even though they are older.

DCs have always had a 9 - 9:30 ish bedtime even as babies, and they're up at 7. They never seem the slightest bit tired. We all eat together somewhere between 7 and 8 p.m. In the US this was considered an ungodly hour to eat -- most families eat earlier, but children still go to bed much later than in the UK. The talk of DD3's class one year (maybe around age 9) was one child's parents insisting on an 8 o'clock bedtime.

Growing up in Ireland I was in my pajamas at 6 until about age 7. We didn't have a tv, so maybe mum had had enough of us by that time But it's light out until at least 10 in summer.

I live in southern Spain, and here in winter children go to bed at 9-10pm and in summer can be up until midnight on weekends and holidays. They get up later as well though, and most have a long afternoon nap. Adults mostly have a nap too!

My dd is 21 months and has a typical Spanish routine. She sleeps 9pm - 8.30am and also has a 3-5.30pm nap, so that's loads of sleep!

All the shops in town are closed 2-5.30pm so there's no point in doing anything then, and in the summer it's too hot to do anything then. It's nice to go out to the park at 7pm most of the year, and in the summer it's too hot to go out until 9pm!

This summer I probably won't put dd to bed until 10-11pm, like the locals, provided she has a good long afternoon nap and sleeps late in the mornings.

My children went to bed at 7pm because they were tired and needed their sleep. When they got to the point they couldn't/wouldn't nap in the daytime, they were fighting to stay awake at tea time. Some kids def need more sleep but most samll ones need 11-12 hours a night.

Having a set(ish) bedtime and routine always made bedtime a pleasant experience. They never threw tantrums and refused to go to bed. Went on holiday with some friends and their children and was horrified by all the histrionics at bedtime! They said they had tried everything and bedtime was always a nightmare! I took over one night and got them to bed no probs - prob worked as I'm not Mum or I scared the wotnots out of them! Not sure which! My friend couldn't leave her kids with a babysitter(even Grandma) because of all the pallaver!

Anyway, however much sleep children need I think the routine of it all is important, just for a quiet life!

I've read through the thread now - interesting and funny to read all the theories about why British children go to bed early!

I noticed a few people have mentioned Spanish and Italian children being bored and badly-behaved in restaurants, or crying, while their parents selfishly chat and drink wine. I have seen this happen quite a bit, but actually I've seen more children having tremendous fun running round with their granny/cousins not looking tired at all. No-one gets annoyed about them running around as there is loads of room usually anyway in outdoor patios, and there are loads that don't have traffic nearby (I live in a village though).

I don't have much experience of school yet but all the kids I know around here get out of school at 2pm, have lunch and are in bed until 5pm-ish. I live in Andalucia, maybe different parts of Spain are different?

That said, I would put dd to bed at 7pm if she had to be up at 7am.
That said,

ShinyandNew, minxmancunian, GenevieveHawkings did they go to bed before 10pm when they were younger or have they always gone to bed at this time?

My DS is a strange one. He can go to bed from any time between 6 and 10pm. God knows what I will do when he goes to school September.

well mine rolled in at 2am last night, out chatting with mates - I don't see it is a problem - just as long as they are not asleep at their desk the next day

mine go to bed in stages the baby at 6.30pm

5 year old either same as baby (his request though) or 7pm

8yr old 7.30

9yr old 8pm

i go to bed at 9.30-10pm

9y old and a parent will be up by 6am the 2 youngest i have to wake at 8am if not up, even on weekends were up early,

Mine go to bed at 9. All 3 of them ages 11, 7 and 4. When they were babies they didn't sleep until around 10.30ish but as they grew older 9 became their sleep time. They didn't wake before 9 either. I definitely could not get up at around 6am with the kids so sleeping later at night worked for me.

I live in Greece now and children's bed time is much later 11 - 12. Not all my friends do this but a lot of children are allowed to stay up late. Children's films sometimes start at 10pm on the T.V. so you can see how normal it is for Greek society. During the summer hols (all 3 months of them) my children do stay up later but that's because you can't go out for a walk or to the park until around 7pm because it's just too hot here.

During term time though, my children go to bed at 9. I really don't understand parents who let their children stay up late with them. I need some 'me' time at the end of the day and any later than 9 and I wouldn't get any.

I'll admit that I need DS to go to sleep at 7. I have all day with him and I really need a break!

He sleeps 7-7 and has a 2 hour nap from 1-3 in the afternoon.

Very interesting thread. Mine - dds nearly 4 and 5 go to bed at 7 and wake up anytime between 6.30 and 7.30am. Need to be up in the week at 6.30am so good for that but it is something i have always done and they go straight to sleep. My DH comes from a culture where the children go to bed much later though. I'm feeling a bit strict and school marm now reading this and think perhaps i ought to be a bit more lax - on weekends anyway. They do go to bed later in the summer if it's hot and sunny.

8pm here, but an early bedtime is the norm in the USA also. Neither of mine can go to sleep at early as 7pm but it would be a struggle to get them into bed that early. They sleep 8-8.30 to 7.30a getting up by themselves aged 7 and 4.

DH and I eat dinner after the kids have gone to bed during the week because its a blessed pleasure to eat without them.

Kids in the US mostly seem to nap til they are older too - some states have naptime mandated for the under-5s. Here they mostly seem to cut it out between 2 and 31/2. Does that mean american kids are better rested, or do they just sleep less at night?

My DCs never napped after 18 mos, and just don't seem to need even 10 hours a night. As teens, though, sleep became their number one priority . Oldest DD could sleep through a train crash. Doctors in the US recommend children get a certain amount of sleep a night (I can't for the life of me remember how much) but I was never asked at any check-up about bedtime -- there didn't seem to be any worry unless the children were out running around unsupervised at a late hour.

I have to say, among my friends and fellow school parents in the US, 9ish was about average for bedtime for most school-age children, certainly they would be in bed before 10. Families eating separately would be almost unheard-of. And school and work tend to start around 8. Most children did some sort of sports or after-school classes during the week. Not a lot of relaxing, let alone napping.

I think it's an aspirational throwback to a time when moneyed people all had nannies and liked to maintain a healthy "upstairs downstairs" divide. I reckon that's why it's so peculiarly British.

I've only read to page 6 so far, but my opinion is that it really does depend on the child. My DD is 11yo, and currently NEEDS 10 hrs sleep. My DS1 is not a sleeper, and will have 6 hrs, no more, no less, whatever time he is put to bed at. DS2 would ideally have 11.5 hrs, but even at 6yo has a 1hr nap when he gets in from school, so gets 10.5hrs at night. The DS's go up to bed at 8.30pm on a school night, DS2 will be asleep within minutes, not waking up until 7am. DS1 will read until 11pm. And be up at 5am. DD goes up at 9pm and tends to be asleep straight away, and wakes up at 7am. NOT every child needs the same amount of sleep, even within the same family, so I find the idea of a set 7pm bedtime a bit unusual, as if I put my DS1 to bed at 7pm, assuming he fell asleep then, he would be up and raring to go and start the day at 1am. I don't bloody think so! . I think people ultimatley end up doing what suits them and their dc's.

DS and DD aged nearly 6 / 3 go to be between 6.30pm - 7pm on a school night and later on Friday / Saturday nights. We also let them stay up later during the holidays as they are not so tired from school. However for us the key seems to be whether they have been to school or not as it really tires them out. Doing a more relaxed visiting friends etc during holidays and weekends and they are not so tired. However DD always wakes up at 6 am regardless of what time she is put to bed.

I don't have any DC's yet, but I'm concerned about what sort of sleep pattern they'll have to follow. DP and I aren't back in the house until 7-7.30, and we have to be out of the house by 6.30

I'm sure something will work out - perhaps ours will have longer naps in the day, who knows!

In the States I think bedtime is slightly later, say 8ish for the average primary schooler, but dinner/supper is usually bang on 6-6.30 for the whole family.

We are not comparable to people in hotter climate because we don't have as many daylight hours....I wonder what they do in Norway, Finland and Denmark?
To those talking about class/aspirational or other rubbish...tut tut.

I love my kids with all my heart, but I need an evening! Small children up until 10pm? No thanks! Climate, class, whatever. I want a bath and a book and a glass of wine after a long day of work and childcare and responsibilities!