Why do British children go to bed so early?

[Builde]

We find ourselves out of sync. with everyone else in that we don't put our children to bed at 7pm; more like 9pm.

We do this because our children are always at their best after tea (they settle down to a good play), if we put our 5 year old to bed at 7pm she would be up at 5am, and it's easier in the morning to have no time at all. (If we have some time, they start to play and we can't drag them off to school/nursery).

It also gives us a chance for a lie-in at weekends and during the week to breakfast in bed before getting the girls up.

Does anyone else follow this civilised routine, or is it just us in the UK?

Teflonmum I was looking for a 'like' button to press like Facebook when I read your comment!

too right!

my babies in bed = Mumsnet time!!

Mine (just 5 & almost 3) do not sleep during the day & are usually in bed by 7pm. They are always up at 6.30am even if we have been out & got home at midnight. Tonight the youngest one put herself to bed at 6pm. We have been known to put the pair of them to bed at 5.30pm on a Sunday. They are rubbish when they are tired.

Re: posieparker's inquiry about northern climes - Like Stewiesmom, I'm also in Canada, probably similar degree north as our sun is from about 8:30am to almost 4pm right now. It is -40 here also. Actually my brother lives much further north than us and often has almost zero daylight at certain times of year, and then almost constant sunlight at others - and they don't adjust their children's bedtimes at all - 8:30/9pm, same as us.

Also like StewieGriffinsmom, I don't know any families that don't eat together at around 5:30/6ish, and don't know anyone that puts their DC's to bed at 7 - has been very eye opening for me reading this thread re: routines abroad.

StewieGriffinsMom - We are northern Ontario, my brother is WAY up in the NWT above Alberta,(only ice roads). Whereish were you?

Beautiful home you are from, StewieGriffinsMom. Gorgeous territory... breathtaking.

LOL, I imagine they'd have to be!

Surely ther's no 'right' way. it depends on the dcs.

9 yo goes to bed at 8-8.30 but have to drag her out of bed in the morning, she'd sleep til 9 if i left her.

6 yo bed at 8, always up about 7-7.30.

I neeeeed my evenings. it works for us. but i am not precious about it - they have late nights fairly often and we are relaxed on holiday.

My DS can't stay awake past 8pm! If I tried to keep him up til late he'd be a nightmare. He's desperate to get in to bed by 7.30 and there would have to be some seriously interesting things going on to keep him awake after 8pm. He sleeps til 7am most days.

Except on weekends when he likes to wake up at 6am.

Mine go at 6.15, usually begging to go by then. Thbaby has a 2 hr nap in the day and the pair of them get up at 7am. They need loads of sleep. We pack lots into the day and they are glad for their bed by then.

Why is it 'middle class' to want to spend some time in the evening winding down with a glass of wine and something grown up on the TV?

As many people have said, most kids do need about 10 hours sleep at night, so putting them to bed by about 8 or 8.30 just makes sense if they have to get up for school in the morning.

But if you want to put them to bed later, so what? Does that automatically make you working class or upper class? And does anyone really give a s**t?

this has all been very reasonable. I've read threads about this before where (mainly UK) mums were very arrogant and scathing with regards to the hours other countries and cultures put their kids to bed as though the only way to do it is 'their way' and anything else is bordering on child abuse, LOL.

when I was a kid I was going to bed after 9. I grew up in Russia and there wasn't much telly for kids back in those days apart ftom a daily 10-minute bedtime programme. It was on at 8-45, the idea being that kids watch it and go to bed by 9. I think it was aimed at 3-10 y.olds. It's still going. Same time.

oh, and I did have an hour's daytime nap until about 6 or 7 y.o., same as everyone else. I don't know if I needed this but such were the nursery rules (most kids start school aged 7 in Russia). Can't remember if nursery started at 8 a.m. or 9 a.m., probably 8, so I would've been sleeping from 9 till 7 most days, with a lie in at weekends.

DS (4 months old) goes to bed about 11-12 at mo. and gets up at 10-11 but gets plenty of nap time during the day. That's because DH works nights twice a week and I can't have DS waking him up too early which is inevitable as he sleeps with us. When he's older and out of our room I'll adjust his sleep so that he's in bed by 9.

My 5 year old daughter goes to bed at 6:30-7pm and wakes up at 7:30-8am.

I've never really thought about it until I read this thread, so thank you OP for sparking such an interesting conversation.

We've had two really close together so we've never really had chance to plan how we're going to parent, we've had to just sort of do it.

It's given me food for thought. I think I'm taking away an idea that you do whatever's right for you and for the child, and also that this will change over time as the child gets older and their needs change.

Everyone's reasoning for doing what they do seems fair enough, apart from woahthere's ex. Those poor children, how will they cope with school life, sleepovers etc?

I don't really understand why it should be better to have children that nap in the middle of the day and go to bed later. Surely that would be much more disruptive for most families? Neither of my children were napping any more by the time they started nursery - they might have a quiet time with a book or favourite DVD, but they didn't go to sleep (perhaps because they weren't tired as they had had a good night's sleep). At the weekend we would be much more likely to be out and about visiting friends or going on expeditions to museums and stuff than eating at restaurants, so children who were active in the daytime for doing fun stuff together, and then tired in the evening when we wanted to wind down too worked all round.

I've always worked on the principle that when you have small children you centre your life on them when they are awake, and then you get the reward of a nice peaceful evening to recover.

I agree with nooka, but that again might just be relevant to the countries like the UK and US where shops don't close at mid-day.

I have children who dropped their noon nap at around 2 years old. The good thing is that our days aren't cut into two, and we can plan outings which take place during what used to be nap-time. The result, though, is that DS2 is exhausted by 6:30 (and tantrums increase in frequency close to this point).

Interesting news bulletin this morning about children getting much less sleep than they should in todays world. Sleeping later is not a problem so long as they are getting the 10-11 hours (toddlers to 10 year olds) that they need.

I hve lived in Latin countries for 10 years, and there kids, even toddlers, don´t go to bed until about 11 pm.

They were the palest, tiredest kids I´ve ever seen. There was a problem with them falling asleep at school. The mums got together to discuss this, and decided it was "brutal" that the poor mites had to start so early, the problem was with the school, and school should not start until 10!

....they also used the word civilised, OP, do you think the UK is not a civilised place????!!!

I have never understood the rigid 7pm rule some people stick to. I just found it added stress, trying to force the kids to bed. At the weekends or on holiday we let ours (3 and 4) nap in day and stay up till 10pm so they can eat out with us etc. Last hol in France they were waking at 10am which was fantastic for us.

But, when they both go to school think I will aim for 8pm otherwise they won't wake in time to get ready. We have to fit around school times/ work times here which I think makes a difference

We live in the Middle East and school starts at 7.30am, so usually up around 6/6.30am, so tbh by 7.00pm I am ready for a glass of vino and some quiet no kids time.

Even back in the UK though bedtime was 7/7.30pm and they slept until at least 7am.

Has anyone linked to this BBC news item yet?

here

It's all well and good kids going to bed late, if they have a chance for a siesta/ a lie in.

But the most have to get up by 8am for school (if not before) my DSS school starts at 8am!

I work with families with kids with ADHD and around 80% of ALL of the kids in the family go to bed late. The change in the ones who do follow advice of earlier bedtimes/ food changes / no tv or pC in bedroom is often dramatic.