Misguided Illusion Part II - Baby still not sleeping through by six months? Come and join us!

[MomOrMum]

Thought I would start a fresh thread as, sadly, we have almost filled the first one.

Feral, Kiwi, Chulita, et al...shouldn't we have graduated from this thread by now?!

Now welcoming a new crop of 6 months+ babies determined to help us reach new heights/depths of sleep deprivation.

Here is the original thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/713951-Support-thread-for-those-who-were-under-the-misguided-illusion

Unfortunately, due to ill health on my part (odd dizziness) the meet up at Slimbridge has had to be postponed until next Wednesday (14th July) at 12. If anyone wishes to join us you'd be welcome!

On a positive note, Skye slept through last night! Fingers are crossed for tonight!

Hope you feel better soon Galena. Yay for a good night.

DS2 cut a tooth last night, which probably explains all the waking!

Well, I'm still feeling dodgy, Skye woke 3 times last night and is snotty this morning. Oh happy days!

DS didn't wake until 2.40am this morning!

He woke up again at 4 - wide awake and wanting to play with DH, then usual 5am stuff including BF. But - 7.5 hours in a row!

Obviously I was wide awake for lots of it. Partly because I was waiting for him to wake up but mostly because I found out yesterday that the lovely CM we had lined up needs to relocate. Very and spent lots of the night worrying about it all.

Hope mini-Blue's tooth is through and that you're feeling a bit better today Galena.

I'm off to offer DH's vital organs as a sacrifice to the sleep gods......

Morning lovely ladies - sorry I've been AWOL for so long. Lots of names on here that I don't recognise - hello to you all and sorry you've had to join the thread!

My absence has not been because I've been getting lots of sleep. oh no. After our initial successes O is now consistently waking up twice a night, sometimes three times a night. Usually somewhere between 10.30pm and midnight and then between 4am and 5am. He won't go back to sleep until he's had a drink of water and a cuddle.

Sometimes he settles back to sleep fairly quickly, and sometimes we're up for hours trying to settle him.

I'm back at work three days a week now (part of the reason for my absence from this thread - no time!) and finding it all pretty hard. If O slept through, or just woke once, I'd be a new woman - but this consistent multiple waking is beginning to really take its toll (as you all know!)

Just ordered the gro anywhere blackout blind (we already have a blackout roller blind but it doesn't black out completely) in the vain hope that that will have some effect on his early morning wake-ups.

Anyway, that's me in a nutshell. I'm going to go back and try and catch up on what's going on with you all now.

Carve - sorry about your CM when are you back to work? Worrying about childcare is so stressful. I can definitely relate to the being awake when LO is sleeping - I spend half the night listening out for O and almost fighting sleep as I think there's no point as I'll be woken up again any second. Not good.

Galena - thanks for poking me on the other thread, you inspired me to come back here Sorry you're feeling poorly - what do you think the dizziness could be? Have you been to see doc? Hope Skye-baby's snottiness gets better soon - poor little mite, she's been through the mill hasn't she?

Blueeyeshadow - if DS is into holding stuff when he goes to sleep have you tried giving him a muslin cloth (or puke cloth as they're known in our household)? DS likes stuffing it in his face and cuddling it when he goes to sleep.

MrsMc - I'd happily let DH go into O at the moment but he's broken his collarbone (cycling race) so it's all down to me at the moment as he can't lift him. ARrrrrrrrrgh!! But I know what you mean about not being able to relax when they do go in - I never sleep through DH settling O, but it somehow helps not having to get out of bed.

Right - got to run, will try and read back a bit further later on. Nice to see you all again, I've missed you

Well, we're back from hospital again... Once again her snottiness went to her chest and she was struggling to breathe. 10 puffs of ventolin later and she was a different child! They kept her in due to her history, and kept administering the ventolin, but she's fine and hunky-dory now.

My dizziness was apparently due to my GP-prescribed antihistamine for hayfever. So I've stopped taking them and feel a bit better.

Bicnod - pleased to see you back! We all missed you. Sorry to hear sleep's still pants but it sounds decidedly like Skye at the moment - waking 2-3 times a night for either 10 minutes or 2 hours, needing a drink and a cuddle.

Carve - sorry to hear about your childminder. It's rubbish when you think you have a plan in place and then something happens to scupper your plans. Maybe you'll find an even nicer one though.

Skye's now on the move - commando crawling and beginning to pull up to standing (on the hospital cot!). Anyway, she's yelling and I think it's bath and bed time so I shall bid you lovely ladies goodnight.

Nice to 'see' you again Bicnod, although sorry to hear about the lack of sleep. Must be so hard when you're working as well. I go back at the end of August so do have a few weeks to find a CM & if no one feels right, our original CM can start until her house is sold (& god knows how long that could take), but of course moving between CM probably isn't ideal. She is so fab so just hope I can find someone else who feels right. It really does affect how I feel about going back to work.

DS does seem to be sleeping a bit better than he was (waking about twice before 5am, again likes some water but I suspect thats because he sucks on the spout of his cup). Wondering if it could go to pot when I go back to work. Bicnod, do you think O is just taking a while to getting used to you working/being at CM, or does it feel more random? I was thinking the other day that I'm getting DS to nap in his cot as much as poss at the moment, and that napping at a CM could throw him. He's currently doing the very annoying wake up after 30 mins thing, so I get him back off by whatever means necessary (usually BF). Bit worried that this won't ultimately help at night as we seem to have managed to stop him looking for boob in the night at the moment. However, 30 mins definitely not enough of a nap so feels the right thing to do. Anyone else had this issue?

Sorry to hear you've been back in hospital again Galena - poor Syke. The pulling up is fun. A grobag doesn't seem to get in the way either - DS is often to be found standing in his cot once he's woken up either crying or looking very pleased with himself!

carve, Skye's never been much of a daytime napper - after 40 minutes she generally wakes up and nothing will induce her to go back to sleep. She has a couple of those in a day. Occasionally she has longer, and often then only needs one nap that day.

ARGH! Having said that, she's just woken up after 30 minutes! Might see if a drink will settle her. Sorry for short post!

Thanks Galena. Am struggling with it a bit at the mo, DS has been getting very upset going down for his naps past few days and its been really unpleasent (possibly exacerbated by DH working this weekend so no break from it), so I've been BF more at naptime. So far, he's been ok at night but really worried that all the work we've done will be scuppered. Was wondering if I keep getting the timing wrong so he's overtired? Also wondered if 1 nap would be better but can't imagine how that would work as he's usually yawning and eye rubbing by 9am, and again after lunch. I should try and experiment but have now got it into my head that his (at the moment) better sleeping at night is all down to his naps so reluctant to mess too much! Makes me feel better if Skye has short naps as I know she sometimes sleeps through.
Any insights anyone else?

Well, I never made it upstairs earlier - she fell asleep again before I got up from the computer, had another hour and then woke up. However, she didn't have another nap today...

I tend to make sure we go out and do something in the morning, eg baby group or swimming etc so that she has something to distract her. Then she sleeps before or after lunch. If she sleeps before lunch then she's likely to have another nap mid afternoon, if she sleeps after lunch that's it for the day. Sometimes she has 40 minutes naptime all day!

Last night was not the worst we've had... She woke 40 minutes after putting her down which is fairly common. All she needs is a drink of water and she rolls over and goes back off, no cuddles needed. Then she woke at 12:40 (as I was in a nice deep sleep) and I cuddled her back to sleep. Took 20 minutes and that was that till 7:30! Not too bad methinks. Still holding out for the elusive sleeping through again, although at some point over the past 2 days she's cut another tooth. That makes 2!

DS2 has had 2 teeth come through in the last week and at least another one on the way now.

I'm sure it's not coincidence that the 2 nights he slept through till 5/5.30 were the coolest we've had for ages, while last night their bedroom was stupidly hot (despite all best efforts!) and he was awake for 2 hours from midnight. Yawn.

And tonight, the spoilt rich kids over the road are having a party cos Mummy and Daddy are away.

Still rocky sleep here. Bleurgh.

At least I'm meeting up with carve and minicarve tomorrow. Really looking forward to it - hoping it doesn't rain though!

Had a fantastic day with carve and minicarve. It didn't rain, the ducks were... ducky and the children seemed to enjoy themselves. Their mothers certainly enjoyed themselves chatting and avoiding the european exchange students! Thanks carve

Well, predictably i've now qualified for this thread. At 6m plus one day and Ds is still waking.may not be a regular poster tho as too depressed by the effect lack of sleep is having 3rd time round to talk about it much. Am worried it is affecting relationship with ds but hey ho not much I can do at mo.

Presumably people must graduate at some stage from here?...

[was dr doobs]

You're welcome Galena and thanks yourself. Lovely to meet you both and really enjoyed chatting/ambling around. Had a great day, its a fab place so glad you suggested it (& would recommend Slimbridge to others in need of a day out with a little one). And we were lucky with the weather weren't we?

NoSleepTillWeaning - sorry you have to join us. You sound really down and definitely in need of cake. People do graduate from here, and even though we are a probably a long way off from graduating things are miles better now. Has taken a few months (joined when DS 8 months & hes now nearly 11 months) but I feel much more human these days. He seems to wake about twice before 4.30am and is easier to settle. Not so easy at 4.30/5am but thats when I BF and bring him to bed (think he's hungry actually). Its much more manageable that it has been (waking 1-2 hours on bad nights and hard to calm down without BF). We've personally found the No Cry Sleep Solution book to be really useful. No quick fixes but over time things have got better overall. It sounds tough for you, I'm taking 3rd time around to mean that your DS is your third DC? Hats off to you (have just the one myself). I've found this thread a good source of support & ideas so hope you can look in and let us know how you're doing.

Thanks Carve. Yes DS is DC3, but by far the worst sleeper. Still, I feel a bit of a fraud as I'm sure he's not as bad as some. He does go to sleep ok which with 2 others to read bedtime stories to is a definate plus but has always been a much more frequent waker than the DDs and can take ages to go back to sleep. Have started hungry baby milk at bedtime tonight but am not naive enough to hope for any improvement!

It will get sorted eventually as I'm not averse to CC but he's not a great eater so I don't want to force him to go through yet plus we go on holiday in a few weeks so no point/opportunity to do anything for another 6 weeks anyway.

Have got the NCSS book (and the millpond one and probably a couple of others kicking about somewhere too.) .

Hi NoSleep. It does get better. We nearly graduated a few months ago - we had 4 blissful weeks of sleeping 7-7! Unfortunately, a couple of hospital stays put paid to that, but generally she only wakes once or twice in the night. At one point in the past she was waking every 45 minutes!!

I know what you mean about not wanting to force the sleeping through. Skye was always (and still is, at 15 months) tiny. I always felt that her stomach must be so small compared to other babies that there was no way she could manage to eat enough to sleep through. Once she started doing it herself, I knew that she was getting enough food in the day, so now I don't feed overnight, I just comfort as necessary.

You do seem fairly low at the moment, so be gentle on yourself. Don't feel a fraud - if it's bad enough to be affecting you, then it's real! Good luck with the hungry baby milk! Maybe weaning will be the turning point for you!

Thanks galena. Unfortunately should change my name to nosleepevenwithweaning as I started solids at 5 months.... He's a spoon refuser which doesn't help.

Anyway off for an early night, although I am soooooo bored of going to bed early.

Fingers crossed for all tonight.

We're alternating fairly erratically between nights where DS2 sleeps through till 5 or so, and nights when he's awake for long stretches. We're visiting DH's family this weekend and he always seems to sleep worse away from home so it'll be interesting to see how that goes.

Oh Blue - it's so frustrating when they alternate like that, because you know they CAN do it! Hopefully the weekend will be ok - the first time Skye ever slept through was when we were away at my parents'.

We've got 1 or 2 wakings a night at the moment, but they are relatively short and painless. They also tend to be one before we go to bed and one not long after, so we get mostly undisturbed sleep. Sleep's certainly better since the weather cooled down.

Sorry for my absence, lots of sleepless nights still here

Sorry to hear that MrsMc. Was thinking that you'd either cracked it or were too knackered to post! Let us know how its going if you can bear to
NoSleep - like Galena, I am also very about the 'they can't be hungry after 6 months' thing. Like every baby is exactly the same or something. My DS was certainly hungry up until about 9 months (we tried to night wean before then but he was clearly hungry as the only time he slept was after a feed!), and then it was breaking the BF at night habit which we did about 10 months. Definitely think he's hungry early am now (also not a spoon fan, btw, we did mostly BLW and did take a while for me to feel he was eating a lot but now he's a little gannet). Both Dr Sears (attachment parenting guru) and Dr Ferber (the CC guy) write that it certainly is possible for babies to need feeding up to 9-12 months. I felt much better once I'd read that, and actually it makes a lot of sense. How often do adults go a minimum of 12 hours without eating? I know that if I have my evening meal early, and then nothing else before bed I'll wake up hungry but I'm an adult, not growing anymore and can think 'oh I can't be bothered to go downstairs I'd rather go back to sleep' (if DS lets me ). Don't feel a fraud - you have 3 kids you must be bloody exhausted.
We've not been having such good nights but not as bad as they once were. The good thing about him being a bit better recently is that its easier to tell there's something up. He's had a cold this week, which has possibly gone to his ears a bit so need to keep an eye on that, and like Blue we're awaiting a tooth (although have been saying that for weeks - the last incisor and it's all talk and no action atm).
Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Carve ? she?s doing ok for a few hours after she has gone down but then wakes up and wants me, milk and to be in beside me and won?t settle again until she gets those things and even then she still wakes up another 3 or 4 times! I feel like a cow I really want to give up BFing but am scared that that will cause even more disruption and lead to less sleep for me. She has never had a bottle and I don?t want to start now (she?s 13m). It is really hot here now (I?m in Spain) at least 28c in her room even with a fan so I get that she is thirsty in the night, I am. I do try to offer water but she pushes it away. Hope your DS is feeling better now.

Poor you MrsMc, sorry its so rubbish. I was wondering how hot it was in Spain. DS's cold seems to have caused another ear infection so he's on antibiotics again. Nights have definitely deteriorated so we're co-sleeping a lot again and he's hell to get down for naps (am breathing deeply now having just done one). Not sure if its just the ear infection or that he finds it difficult to separate from me. He just wants to suck hair (tied it back today!) and at the weekend went down beautifully for DH and slept longer (although don't think his ear was as bad then). Was pleased and at the same time! I'm finding it so easy to blame myself....
God it feels like it will never end doesn't it?