Misguided Illusion Part II - Baby still not sleeping through by six months? Come and join us!

[MomOrMum]

Thought I would start a fresh thread as, sadly, we have almost filled the first one.

Feral, Kiwi, Chulita, et al...shouldn't we have graduated from this thread by now?!

Now welcoming a new crop of 6 months+ babies determined to help us reach new heights/depths of sleep deprivation.

Here is the original thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/713951-Support-thread-for-those-who-were-under-the-misguided-illusion

Glad things are going well, autodidact. Unfortunately, Skye has generously shared her germs with me and I have the lurgy today. I could just sleep all day, I ache all over and my temp's above 38, but, needless to say, she's full of beans and not content to chill.

She's only had 5 minutes sleep this morning too - and woke up at 4, really grumpy and unsettled and wouldn't go back to sleep till 5:30. My temmp had started before bed so I was feeling pretty grim, but DH has rubbish hayfever this year, which has aggravated his chest. This means that when he was trying to settle her she'd go quiet and then he'd cough and she'd scream again. Can't do CC at the moment as if she cries for long she's sick! ARGH!

It is a phase and it shall pass.

Sorry didn't come back for ages, just seem to be too many things to get through in a day! I think we may be getting somewhere with dd as she actually slept through from 10:30 to 6am last night (woohoo!) - obviously ds sensed this and so was awake from 4:30 to 5:45 (not so woohoo)...

Sorry for all your LOs suffering with colds and teething - that's the problem with this sleep thing, as soon as it starts to get better teeth or snot drag you right back to the beginning again! Hope Skye is feeling better now Galena, that sounds horrible.

Bicnod, am very impressed you are managing all weekend on your own. Good luck! Hope your dh is gives you lots of time to yourself when he gets back!

Oh Galena. You are really going through the mill with all the illnesses. Really hope you all feel better soon. Think Marianne has come out in sympathy with Skye as we've just faced our first real difficult night since the 1st night. She woke up properly at 4.45am and cried for quite a bit rather than being immediately comforted by a quick pat as per the last few days. Awful. Feel so so sorry for her and just want to pick her up and give her a massive cuddle and a feed.

Hi Everyone and welcome to the newbies (plus commiserations for actually needing to join us, but I do find this thread brilliant support....). Not been able to get online for a while so tons to catch up with. Sorry to hear that Skye has been poorly.

DS seems to be slowly getting the change in bedtime routine (feed then staying awake for story then cot) and has been gradually a little easier to get to sleep but I'm not sure it makes a blind bit of difference to his nights. Actually, he's always been able to self settle to sleep (if the wind is in the right direction IFYSWIM) but I have never noticed any difference between times when he self settles and times when he's been fed to sleep - in fact sometimes hes woken up much sooner after self settling! However, we thought we (quite literally) had a lightbulb moment last week. We think DS may have nightmares on some of his many wake ups and be scared of the dark. He gets very upset but then is calm once cuddled and taken to a light room and then goes back to sleep fairly easily. So we left the light on one night and he seemed to sleep better. Still woke a lot but was much easier to settle and I was down to only one BF (although anything after 5am I count as an early morning feed - helps me feel better about it!). Anyhow as soon as we thought we'd figured this out and I purchased a proper nightlight DS got poorly and we ended up in A&E on Thursday morning. He was all hot and floppy - horrible. Just a virus thankfully and we all have sore throats now. So the last couple of nights he's been sleeping with us and last night I fed him a lot - mainly because my throat was like sandpaper and I figured I couldn't very well refuse if his was at all the same. So...still bloody exhausted and pretty sick of being the freak in my 'mums meeting up for coffee' group who has the non-sleeping baby. Someone complained about their baby (who sleeps through) waking up 'too early' at 6.30am the other day . To be fair I think it was a tongue in cheek comment and they know what my DS is like but how I didn't scream I don't know.....

Oh carve! That sounds awful! Skye's much more herself now, but I know what you mean about hot and floppy - Skye was hot and sleepy, which is so unlike her it was enough to send us into hospital. Glad that a nightlight is helping a bit though - we have a backlit clock in Skye's room which acts as a nightlight.

Turns out my temp from Thursday (which peaked at 39.5 and wouldn't shift) was tonsillitis, and it's only today my temp has returned to normal and my throat is still really sore. I haven't been to the doc as I often get tonsillitis and this is a relatively 'mild' dose, so am just witing for it to run its course. However, I do wonder if that's what Skye had. I used to get it every few weeks at times when I was a child, so I'm hoping its not going to be hereditary! Skye's been waking once overnight recently - for an hour or more. Some nights she's really upset and won't settle but I think maybe her antibiotics are giving her a tummyache. Last night she woke at 12:30 and was awake till 1:30. Snuggling up to me, but wide awake. Bah!

Here's hoping others have had sleepy nights!

just dropping by to say hello - have had a quick glance, sorry (!) to see so many familiar faces still here. My absence has not been because my los are sleeping, but everyone has been/is ill. DD2, having just started to sleep through, has now got chicken pox . DD1 slept through for the first time in weeks last night; she has been much praised/rewarded but i suspect it was a one off!
am really struggling with work, but even now can't believe i get through a working day on only about 5 hours sleep. i am much less patient with my students than i used to be though
will catch up on the thread now!

Oh dear Olivo, not more illness! Tonsilitis is no fun Galena, hope you're feeling better soon. Still nursing a poorly baby here. He perked up yesterday afternoon and evening but was then awake every 1-2 hours and eventually brought him into the bed about 1.45am. He was all hot again and just would not be put down so I sat up much of the rest of the night holding him. He did eventually let me slide down so he was lying on me though. He's had some drugs but still wants to be held a lot now and I only just managed to put him down in his buggy to sleep. It has been nice snuggling but he's 9 months old and my back is killing me! He's been BF so much that I imagine once he gets better in a few days and doesn't need to feed as much my supply will have caught up and I'll be looking like Jordan . Not sure what this is going to do to our chances of him sleeping a bit longer at night, but at the moment I just want him to be better. Its horrid to see him all miserable .
Hope some of you out there have some better sleep news to share .

Ho hum. Back from hospital AGAIN with Skye. This time she was vomiting with no clear reason - no diahorrea, no very high temp (although during the night we were in her temp DID spike, and needed both calpol and nurofen to bring it down). Seems better now though, although she's developed a real taste for dioralyte.

Our poor little ones seem to be getting lots of bugs - but everyone's always told me May is the start of the bug-free months.

carve, your poor little one sounds thoroughly miserable at the moment. I can sympathise with the cuddling - last night Skye flatly refused to be put down, and I'd sent DH home to get some sleep, so when I needed the loo I had to put her in the buggy and wheel her into the loo with me!!!!

autodidact, how's Marianne now? Any more settled?

Sleepy thoughts to all!

oh no- all these bugs are v v bad news, aren't they? You three sound like you've been having a really hard time, olivo, curve and galena. Hope you're right that May is the start of the bug-free months, Galena.

Marianne seems to be doing one goodish night followed by an appalling one, atm. Last night was a bad one! We've just done some room swapping, which should be good news for all in the end, but due to the mini-heatwave she's in a room that is too hot and too bright. She was not a happy bunny last night or this morning either come to that. In fact she was so crotchetty that I eventually put her down for her morning nap about 7.45 when it's usually 9 or 10! I'm going to buy some blackout blinds today. Feeling a bit low as it's my last week of maternity leave and I was hoping for it to be a really lovely one. But so far today has been dominated by everyone being tired and grumpy. Sigh.

Hi Everyone

So sorry about the nasty bugs, it must be horrible. At least there's hope that sleep may improve when they feel better.

We have settled into a pattern of bed at 7, feed at 10pm, 2am, 5am, up about 7. Bearable but would love to drop a feed. She has also gone backwards with self-settling, now always needs lots of shush patting. Still no teeth and we're 7 months now. New plan is to try and drop the 5am feed with the aid of a heavy-duty blackout blind. We're going to try & do it over bank holiday weekend so we can all have naps in the day.

Hope you are all able to enjoy this gorgeous weather

mellonian- I bought this yesterday and can't believe it's a coincidence that for the first time in a long while M didn't wake up at 5.20am. It is a bit pricey, I know, but really seems a wonder product- attaches to any window with suckers.

We bought some blackout lining and velcro! The hard side sticks to the window frame and the soft side sews onto the fabric. We also bought some cheap suckers with hooks on, in the hope we'll be able to take it when we go away. Seems to work for Skye, too.

Skye's much better today. Interestingly, having had no dairy for a few days, her perpetual snot cleared up. Today she had milk at breakfast time and she was snotty straight after. No milk at lunchtime and the snot's gone again. Hmmm. Seeing a pattern here? Will see what happens after milk at tea time.

We also have no teeth still, melonian - and she's now 13 months! Oh well. On the positive side, we saw a physio informally at a group we go to and she says she's doing well - particularly for her corrected age, so she's doing what they expect a 10 month old to. Hooray! She's so nearly crawling, just hasn't found her forward gear yet!

What great news re Skye's development, Galina.

Marianne's sleep is still variable but I'm trying to hang on to the fact that there is definitely more of it happening, even on the nights when she's waking up a couple of times and finding it quite hard to resettle. And that's in the context of quite a lot of changes like going into her own room, coping with the mini heatwave, having her brothers out of the house for a week on a trip and then back etc. Her top front left tooth has just broken through as well! So I think she's doing pretty well really. We do seem- touch wood!- to be through the days of hourly or even more frequent wake ups, finally. We're going to decorate her room this weekend, which may mean further disruption, and then I start back at work on Tuesday- eek- so I'm not really expecting completely settled sleep in the immediate future but I am thankful that it's improved. I think we'll continue the checking thing for a couple more weeks through all the changes and then see where we are.

urgh. really tough week. DS was better during the day from about Monday but nights have been just horrendous. 2 hours is the most he's slept at any one time. Not helped by DH being on long days at work (leaves 7.30am and home 9pm), and us both being full of lurgy and coughing all night. We are beyond exhausted. Really don't know how I've functioned this week. DS has been very upset at bedtime when lying down and yesterday morning he had lots of gunk coming from one of his ears so it looks like the virus has infected them as well. The gunk is still seeping out now [yuck emoticon]. There is a high chance that the other ear is infected as well so we're not expecting any change in his nights anytime soon. its not bloody fair I just want to get a bit more sleep, not asking for him to sleep 11 hours in a row, but just a few more would be nice. Once he gets over this illness there will be more teeth no doubt (my glass is very much half empty right now). So...no good news to report, apart from the fact that DS is healthy and nothing bad happened when he got poorly.

Galena - really sorry to hear you were back in A&E again. Sounds exactly the way DS was when we took him last week. Hope you are all recovered now. Great news on the developmental assessment.

Autodidact - really interested to hear about your DD's progress, good for you. The disruption thing I identify with. I haven't said before but one of our issues I think is that we live between 2 homes and commute on an almost weekly basis due to DH's work. He's on a temporary contract so it will all end close to DS's first birthday but I'm quite sure it doesn't help and it just adds to the stress and exhaustion. We also have the gro anywhere blind but to be honest DS is so bloody awful at night I can't see whether it makes a blind (excuse the bad pun!) bit of difference at the moment. Glad it seems to be working for you, perhaps it will help once we're at the 5am only wake up stage (if we ever get there!).

Melonian - good luck with dropping the 5am feed this weekend.

Hope everyone is having more luck than us at the moment. It will get better I know, I'm just struggling to believe it at the moment and feeling a bit sorry for myself.

Poor you carve, you've really been through it with illness as well. Have you had DS's ears checked as I think if there's lots of gunk it can be a sign of a perforated eardrum, which would need keeping an eye on? Apologies if I'm interfering/talking rubbish. Must be unsettling for you all with all the upheaval you have to go through, I don't know how you do it.

I have had a week. A good friend had an ectopic pregnancy which ruptured last week, so she lost the pregnancy and a fallopian tube. And my beloved grandad died yesterday, I live 300 miles from my family so am feeling very sad and lonely. Still, puts the sleep problems into perspective, as I do get very over-dramatic about it sometimes and forget how lucky I am to have 2 healthy children. The sleep stuff can take a back seat for a while as I'll be going to see my dad & my nan this weekend.

Enjoy the bank holiday all, hope you can use it to catch up on sleep

Sorry to hear about all that Melonian, sounds a difficult week. Totally know what you mean about getting over-dramatic (see my above post). I find it hard to keep perspective sometimes when I'm exhausted but good to remember that I have a lovely healthy little boy and am actually very lucky. The sleep stuff will get better in the end - when I'm not sure but it will. You're not interfering at all about the ears, I would have thought exactly the same thing but apparently they will heal on their own.
We had a better night with DS up at 11pm(BF), 1.30am (BF), 3.30am (took LONG time to settle with poor DH!), 5am BF and a while to settle before going to sleep again until 7am. Not a stellar performance and more BF than we had been doing, but tons better than it has been this week and I feel a bit more human today.
Happy Bank Holiday to all

Hi all - sorry to hear there are some really ropy times for some of you - carve and melonian, you both sound really low - hope things start to improve soon! (Where are you both based? Close enough to any of us for a visit bearing cake?)

We've had some fairly settled nights recently (touch wood). We went to visit DH's brother and sis-in-law and Skye slept well really. Last night she was a little unsettled, but this morning it seems she's cut her first tooth, so maybe that's why.

Hopefully she'll still sleep well now we're back home.

Hello all. Sorry to hear about poorly babies and horrible nights.

We're still here as we're having 3 wakes up each night at the moment. I think it's teething.

Galena - hurrah for Skye's first tooth

Carve - I struggle to keep perspective as well. Especially when I've got work the next day and O just won't settle.

The few weeks of sleeping through seem like they must have been a dream now.

At least the sun is shining and he's napping beautifully and he's happy with the CM (hasn't cried once when I've done drop off) so all in all I shouldn't be whinging too much.

oh my goodness, sorry to hear that some of you are having such a hard time.

We are down to just two wakings a night - DD1 has just been to visit the homeopath about her night wakings; i know some people think it's hocus pocus but I am willing to try anything at the moment. Waiting and watching...
DD2 has been tricky of late but has suddenly gained another two teeth and seems to have some more arriving . She has also started to suffer from reflux again so i have to go in most nights and prop her up again! Have been to the dr and she is now back on medication.
if it's not one thing, it's another, as my old gran used to say!

Can I join in and have a mega whinge? We're having a very tough time with DS2 at the moment. He's a week short of 9 months, and has slept badly since just before 6 months. We've had one thing after another with illnesses, holidays, teething, separation anxiety and now we seem to be on an "8 month sleep regression" or whatever. For a while we got into a reasonable pattern of waking at around 10 or 11 and then 5 or 6, but the last few nights he's woken every hour or two, and has already woken twice tonight. I ache in all the muscles I use to carry him, am trying desperately not to always BF him to sleep, but usually give in as it's quicker and I get to sit down... Amazingly though, he's just settled for DH - normally it has to be me, so maybe there's hope??!

Hi all
We are doing a bit better on the night sleep front - down to 2 feeds a night and quite often sleeping until 7am. Going backwards on progress towards self-settling in cot though. After a bout of teething/tummyache/hot nights/who knows what, DS has stopped going to sleep in the cot with my hand on his back at bed time, and is wanting to be held to go to sleep. And I'm still feeding him to sleep for naps (at 9 months) but the last couple of days he's not consented to being put down dozy - unless absolutely fast asleep he screams if removed from the boob. I have created a boob-monster! I'm a bit worried about how nursery will cope with his naps in a couple of months...

BlueEyeshadow - hopefully it's just a bad phase... Know what you mean about aching muscles, they are so heavy to carry now, aren't they!

Hi Everyone

olivo - well done you and your DC that sounds ike a breakthrough. Hope the homeopath works some more magic for you

choc - it's always 1 step forward 2 back isn't it?

blue - thank goodness for DHs. Hope he is around to give you some more help

skye - congrats on the tooth! Hooray!

We are back to square 1, waking every 3 hours again . Am so fed up of this now, nothing works for her, she always starts really promising and then slips back. She is also struggling to nap and I'm struggling to keep my temper with her . I think we will have to do controlled crying with her, I just don't know what else I can do and I can't carry on like this. It will kill me though and I don't know how we will do it without waking DS up. Don't mind me I'm in my depressed phase, soon I will lose the plot and get really angry about it, then I will go back to acceptance

oh, melonian, sorry to hear you're down. I totally know how hard it is to keep your patience when you're so tired. I really hope things improve for you soon.

chocolate moose, if it's any consolation, DD1 was a nightmare for getting to sleep with naps...until she went to nursery! i think the fact its all so routine did her good. I am a bit haphazrzad with routines!

I;d like to share with you all - we have had THREE full nights here. Now i dont know if it is just coincidence or if the homeopathy has worked its magic but DD1 has not been shouting out and i have not had to go to her at all. DD2 is still coughing a bit at night but settles herself. Maybe my months of convincing myself 'this too shall pass' were worth it!

book marking - sorry for my absence (mostly down to bad sleep!)

Wow! DS2 settled himself in the middle of the night last night and then slept till after 7 this morning! Probably just a fluke though. Refusing to get my hopes up yet.