Misguided Illusion Part II - Baby still not sleeping through by six months? Come and join us!

[MomOrMum]

Thought I would start a fresh thread as, sadly, we have almost filled the first one.

Feral, Kiwi, Chulita, et al...shouldn't we have graduated from this thread by now?!

Now welcoming a new crop of 6 months+ babies determined to help us reach new heights/depths of sleep deprivation.

Here is the original thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/713951-Support-thread-for-those-who-were-under-the-misguided-illusion

Evening ladies,
Many thanks for the messages of support. Was expecting a tirade of abuse after admitting that we'd turned to the Dark Side and used CC!
iimo, I had read about Night Nannies www.night-nannies.com somewhere and that's how we met SleepTrainer1. They are supposed to come to your house and implement the technique for you, but at the last minute DH decided that he wanted to give things a go himself. SleepTrainer2 was Andrea Grace - andreagrace.co.uk who I'd read about on MN.
sospan, we were advised to stay only for about 10s, no more. Harsh I know, but a quick pat, a reassuring word and laying DS down (he would always end up standing up in his cot) was basically all we were advised to do. Many CC books say that you should avoid eye contact and not speak, but we were told that this can be stressful for them, so the best thing is to be gentle and loving, but also encouraging so something along the lines of "My baby it's bedtime, come on... I know you can do it..." or "Baby, don't worry, we're only in the next room" etc. etc. did it for us. Hope this helps!

Gah. I'm ill, DS is ill and DH is ill.

3 guesses which of us is getting least sleep?

DS spent the day with my parents today and managed to only nap for 10 minutes this afternoon. He was ready for bed by 6pm so I'm guessing I'm going to have a horribly early wake up call tomorrow

I am barely functioning at the moment. I look back longingly on the days of my mat leave when, in retrospect, it didn't really matter if I'd had no sleep. Now I have to go to work and try to teach other people's children while I'm exhausted.

It really really sucks.

feralgirl that does sound like sucksville. Always thought teaching is a job which doesn't lend itself well to having an off day. You can only do your best (as my mum would say). Hope you are feeling better very soon.

Hi Feral. So sorry you're unwell. My DS is snotty as well, but it hasn't escalated into full blown misery yet.

I just had my first day back at work today and my DS is with my parents too. And they had a bad nap day (though my Mum got him to sleep on her lap for 45 mins...no idea how!) so I expect a night full of wakings, as always when he is overtired.

Teaching all day and then home to illness and no sleep sounds so full on. I hope you can survive to the weekend and somehow get lots of sleep then!

can i join in please?

dd4 is 1year old nhext week.

she has slept through the night errr 8 times? thats it.

i have tried CC. it works. but atm, she has been ill again, and i shattered so need to wait till dd4 is better so can do cc again, and get through it.

how can i be functioning still on no sleep, or very broken sleep.

ah, so that's where you've all been. i thought i'd escaped the sleep threads. ds slept 10-12 hours in a row four nights in a row last week. i thought i'd cracked it. all the cosleeping, breast feeding, reactive parenting had paid off. and now ds is poorly and we're back to hourly wakings and i've had to take the last 2 days off work. i took his temperature earlier today - it was 40.4. i was absolutely petrified. back down 36.6 now but am finding it hard to resist the urge to go and look at him every 5 seconds.

now i shall go back to the beginning of the thread and catch up.

Hello misdee, that sounds tough, especially as you must have your hands full with four dcs (and do I remember right that your DH has health issues?). Wish I had the magic answer for you (and me!), but since not, thought I would just be sociable.

stainesmassif that sounds really scary, I'm not surprised you want to keep a close eye. But hopefully the sleep will come back when ds is better (crosses fingers and toes).

How is it they manage to do that? Just whenever I get to the point of thinking 'blimey, i can't keep doing this', I don't hear a peep out of DS until 4am for a couple of nights.

then it's back to 8.30, 10.30, 1.30, 2.45, 4., 5.15....

Hi chulita, thanks for the info about CC. I am so pleased to hear that it can work if done at nights only, the sleep trainer swore blind that this was imposs. Can I ask, how many nights did you have to do it for before it worked?

row78, a thought I had when reading your post was that the same said sleep trainer who I didn't have a good experience with told us that usually with CC they sleep through, and then on the 5th or 6th night they have a rebellion, and you have to do it again and then they go back to sleeping through. Perhaps this is what happened with you?

superdanovi I just wanted to ask about your wimps version of CC, what was the max time you got to without going in? And has it been working?

And although I am the last person to have any good advice about sleeping, sospan, I have also been doing the patting, and trying to do less and less each night - I have a stool next to the cot and I am able to now not pat so much, but just sit there until she's back to sleep. This is as far as I've gotten - sigh - but perhaps you can gently withdraw the patting while staying there.

rycie - it took about 6-10 days ... it felt like 10 years! I say 6-10 because she stopped needing repeat shushing after a few days but still woke up needing a cuddle for a few days after that. Now she still wakes up 60% of nights but she can resettle herself 20% of the time if that makes sense. She sleeps through the night maybe twice a week and I can leave her to resettle herself one of the other 5 that she wakes up - so not perfect but I'd rather that than the feeds which she really doesn't need!
MoM how was you LO after your first day back?
staines, I'd have been petrified too, that's a HUGE temperature for such a little person! Hope he gets better soon
feral, sending positive get well soon vibes for all of you!

Hi chulita - sorry to pester you, but when you say she wakes up needing a cuddle, do you mean she wakes, cries a little, when you realise she's not going to self settle, you go in and sooth her, and then goes back to sleep? Just so I understand the process clearly, I really appreciate the insight of those with success to show!

fg, telepathically sending you chicken soup... Steaming hot, fragrant and yummy with lemon grass, chili, noodles and lime. Will sort that cold out in a jiffy. Hope things improve soon.

rycie, the most we've ever left him is probably about 90s, actually, a bit longer if we felt that he was starting to settle (DS yodels himself to sleep ) so rather than the 3 day miracle that most people get, it took us about 7-10 days before we saw consistent improvement.

We had a totally crap night last night... His nappy leaked (This is the second bloody time this has happened in a week. For some reason, Tesco nappies are not up to the demanding standards of DS's uber-bladder) and he was MAJORLY p^^sed off and refused to sleep for two hours. Then slept for a rubbish 45 minutes and that was it for the day. Feel awful today but am keeping spirits up with the manic recital of tacky cliches:
"Rome wasn't built in a day..."
"It's a marathon, not a sprint..."
"If it first you don't succeed, try try again..."

rycie, DD wakes and cries, I realise she's not going to settle herself, I used to just pat her but she's not been herself so the last few nights I've been cuddling her for a bit. She never goes back to sleep but once she's stopped crying and has calmed down I leave. I do have to grit my teeth because as soon as I leave the side of her cot she starts wailing but it usually lasts no longer than a minute. If it does I go back in and try again. Last night I had to go back but most nights it's just a plaintive wail and then she settles.

superd, I'm not really ill but that soup sounds yummy!

Okay, maybe it's about time I poked my head in here. Interesting to hear of Superdanovi's success - something we may try in the future, maybe.

DS is 9 months old, fully BF and on 3 meals a day plus snacks in between. Reliant on BF to go to sleep when at home, though does so fairly easily when out in pushchair.

These days, when he wakes in the night (once in the evening, then 3-4 more times once we've gone to bed), he automatically turns onto his front, gets on all fours and rocks backwards and forwards (in grobag) moaning. Eventually he sits up and cries. Can't bear to see him sitting crying all alone in his cot like that so always go in and quietly BF him back to sleep, though sometimes have difficulty staying awake myself.

He's teething too, so I don't suppose this helps him.

I guess I'm hoping he'll just grow out of it eventually but 5.30am starts are tough and I'm wondering how he'll ever settle for daytime naps when he starts p/t nursery in January!

Sometimes I wonder whether I should switch to formula in case this makes a difference. What with returning to work in Jan anyway, perhaps this would be a good idea? Might help to break his association with sleep and breast, at least?

ANPB - can't be bothered typing your whole name out DD went through a phase of exactly that rocking thing. I watched her a few times wake up as she was rolling over, and then whinge. For her it was because she was just mastering rolling/crawling and it just fed through into her sleep. She's out of it now though!
Last night was a cracker - DD's had the runs for over 3 weeks now, getting worse. We've been to the doctor's but they just say to keep an eye on it, went again yesterday and we've got to drop in a sample today. Thing is her poos are sooooo runny that we can't actually scoop any up (tmi alert!) So...last night DD woke up crying at 0330, went to give her a cuddle and the whole room stank. Turns out the nappy had leaked and splooshed poo all up her back soaking her vest, sleepsuit, grobag, mattress and leaving a puddle on the mattress [boak] By the time I'd cleaned her up she was wide awake and wouldn't resettle so I had her up til she was tired again. We'd just had a week of brilliant nights but since Sunday she's been really struggling with the squits - I just wish I knew how to fix her. I long for a solid poo...this is worse than newborn bf poo
Sorry, feeling a bit self-pitying today...

Hi everyone. Sorry I haven't been on much recently, but I'm having a bit of a hard time at the mo' (have written this thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/856299-PLEASE-HELP-6-month-old-DS-woke-up-15-times

I know you will all understand how I'm feeling because many of you are in the same boat. I'm starting to feel ill with tiredness and have a permanent headache. Yesterday I walked over a road crossing when it was a red man without even thinking because I was totally brain-dead. Luckily there weren't many cars around or else I would have got DS and I seriously hurt . This really can't go on - I have to go back to work in January to a job where I have to use my brain (I'm a scientist) and at the moment I can barely string a sentence together....

Ok, moan over. Sorry about that, but I just needed to get it off my chest! On a good not, DS is taking to eating solids like a duck to water!

IsItMeOr - we stopped night feeding 2 weeks ago and he is still full on on the boob in the day. I think he will breast feed until school if I let him they way he is going. A mere movement towards it has him banging my chest for some regardless of whether he is hungry or not.

Rycie - Thanks for that, it is interesting. When he has his rebellion I'm in there convinced he is in major pain, then after 2 hours of rocking and he is clapping at me and laughing I realise he isn't. I think I need to be more consistent during these rebellions and once I have checked everything is ok because otherwise it all seems a bit pointless. When he was actually ill I could tell because he was screaming really badly. I decided to do this last night and after 7 minutes and 2 checks he went back off, so he does know the drill, just he also knows most times I back down!

Chulita - N has the squits as well and has done for 2 weeks, he seems totally fine otherwise. The doc has said to stop solids and give him diralyte but he has a right hunger on at mealtimes so I can't bring myself to do it whilst he fine in all other ways and he is still having wet nappies. Hope she gets better soon.

Thanks row78 DS is not that enthusiastic for BF ever thank goodness during the day, so I'm just feeling a bit wet about it all.

DS has been teething the last couple of days, so don't think we're going to be trying anything with his feeds tonight after all. I know it's not the same as doing CC, which you just couldn't do at all if they're teething or ill, but it seems a bit mean to mess him around by trying to stretch feeds when he's obviously feeling miserable.

Evening all. Had a shocking few nights (actually a shocking month but last few nights even worse, virtually every 15 mintes..) with DD and DH ill - latter woke me up ever 2 hours last night even when DD was finally sleeping. Ugh. I went to bed at 7pm last night. Tonight I might make it to 8pm...

Am a bit bleary eyed to do proper reading of the thread but Staines what a scarily high temp, DD had one almost that high a few months ago and I was terrified. Hope all better now?

oh and row your DS sounds like my DD - there is no way she plans to EVER drop a feed if she can get away with it. When she'll ill she might as well be superglued into my bra...

evening all - thanks kiwi, ds much better now. i think now that maybe the high temp was his body fighting off the worst of his virus. but oh. my. god. it gave me a scare. it really made me realise how much we have to lose. but luckily everything was okay, so am going to stop being melodramatic!

kali and anmpb - i worried about how i would cope with sleeplessness before returning to work, but strangely i started to feel much better. i think it's having a bit of time during the day to myself, where i can concentrate on one thing, and am not feeling guilty that i haven't managed to sweep the floor and provide ds with developmentally appropriate entertainment. and of course, he didn't stay at that stage of development. i remember the rocking when he woke up, and i remember thinking that he would never, ever sleep through of his own accord.

now that i speak from the lofty and wise position of having an 11 month old baby who has slept through the night for a very impressive 4 nights in a row (before temperaturegate) i feel more relaxed about it because i know that it's possible. even though it hasn't happened again.

False alarm everyone, The last couple of nights (and days) have been heinous. I'm now despairing. Honestly, I don't think I've ever been this low.

oh superd. . shall i hold your hand? and mop your brow? would you like to fantasise with me about the mumsnet holiday camp / commune? this always makes me feel better.