Misguided Illusion Part II - Baby still not sleeping through by six months? Come and join us!

[MomOrMum]

Thought I would start a fresh thread as, sadly, we have almost filled the first one.

Feral, Kiwi, Chulita, et al...shouldn't we have graduated from this thread by now?!

Now welcoming a new crop of 6 months+ babies determined to help us reach new heights/depths of sleep deprivation.

Here is the original thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/713951-Support-thread-for-those-who-were-under-the-misguided-illusion

Thanks Isitme and Galena... good thing is DS must be feeling better as he slept 4 hours, fed, 3 hours, fed, 3.5 hours.... So feeling better myself. Next thing is to get him to eat today and then maybe he will last longer again.

I don't think I can manage the reducing milk thing as if I remove him from boob he will scream and feel bereft! I prefer the stretching idea..... Maybe I will try that in 2010!

Hope some better nights for others too.

dycey my thoughts exactly on the removing the boob - I think it will be the stretching for us again if we ever try to tackle the nightfeeds!

But so glad you had a much better night last night. We've settled into a pattern of three wakes, one where he goes down with a cuddle, one where he goes down with a feed and one where he's awake for one-two hours.

Am willing those two teeth through! He did resettle himself at least once though, so hopefully when he's feeling better he'll sleep better again without too much aggro. [wishful thinking emoticon].

Pleased to report another good night - needed 10-15 mins of settling to begin with, then yelled 45 minutes later, but I left her cos it wasn't 'proper' crying and she settled and went back to sleep till 11:20! gave her a bottle of formula (I'm out tomorrow night so DH will have to give a bottle so needed to check if she'd settle afterwards) and she went back down like a dream. Fed again at 3:30 and slept till morning. Again, happy babbling till 7 and I got up.

Carpet's going down in the nursery today and DH is going to Ikea so once we're back from our travels over Christmas/New Year she'll be in her own room. We'd planned to sort it before she was born, but arriving at 27+4 wks kinda threw a spanner in the works!

I'm still kinda hoping she'll wean herself off the night feeds and sleep through on her own - we'll see!

Hi everyone.

We decided last night that something had to give. I was becoming a poor parent during the day, and DD was screaming for hours at night without doing CC. So we readied ourselves for the hard slog!

She went to sleep well, had a dreamfeed at 10:30 and woke for the first time at 3:30 , had a feed and went back down.

At 5:15 she woke up and, feeling that the night had been going so well, I tried to ssh and pat her back to sleep. 35 minutes of crying in and no improvement. For the first 10 or so, she was obviously trying to get herself back off and kept going quiet before starting up again. After that, it was full on crying.

I probably shouldn't have changed mid-night, but we then decided to revert to the original plan. I put her down and we took it in turns to go into her, pat her, tell her it was sleepy time and walk out. We kept it at every 15 minutes, as I didn't feel comfortable stretching the times between visits. It took nearly an hour, but eventually she went back to sleep and stayed asleep until 8am.

This morning, she is the smiliest she has been for weeks! I'll keep you posted what happens tonight.

Glad to hear there's been some improvement Fingers crossed for tonight.

Well done all. So confused how long did she sleep for the last bit of the morning?

5am is the hardest time. I always give up and get up then but am sure it is better not to.

dycey - about an hour or so was the last stretch. DH and I were having a whispered debate about what time we gave up and accepted it was morning when she finally dropped off just before 7am. It then seemed mean to wake her so I left her until she woke by herself.

3 good nights in a row is beginning to feel less like luck and more like a new routine! 10 mins of bedtime settling, bottle at 11:30, bf at 3:30 and up about 6:30.

I'm out for a meal tonight, and I want to try to make sure I'm not back till after 11:30 (unless I turn into a pumpkin before that) so that I can be sure DH has had to give her the bottle. Am I mean? It's just I know if I'm back, he'll assume I'm going to do it and I'm determined to get him more hands on! She's his DD too! The whole point of beginning to wean her onto bottles instead of EBF is so he can give me a break sometimes!

How did last night go, Confused? and IsItMe, are those pesky teeth through yet? and dycey is he still feeling better and sleeping better?

Well done Galena - def stay out late. I am such a control freak I have never done the DP and bottle thing - but would if I had number 2. Definitely good for baby to learn comfort comes from both parents. Life is safer that way.

DS ate a huge pasta lunch so I think is well on the mend. PHEW. I messed up his first nap today by carrying him out of pushchair and into bed asleep when he promptly awoke so he is napping now at 4pm...

Went back to work today to say Happy Christmas, am going back to work in a month... now realise I really should have got the sleep sorted properly earlier. I feel so knackered. After Christmas....

Ooh, well done Galena that all sounds fantastic. Hope you're enjoying your meal.

I thought the teeth were giving DS a break, although they aren't quite through yet. So I eased off on the baby drugs. BIG mistake. He didn't manage to sleep at all this afternoon, and then kept wondering around the living room (yes, today we officially have a walker at 9mo ) making periodic crying noises.

I'm now a bit concerned that I have been maxing him out on calpol and calprofen since Sunday, and they both say you're only supposed to use for 3 days before checking with GP/pharmacist. Better get me to a pharmacist in the morning methinks. But this afternoon, with the crying and the glowing red cheeks, I gave him more drugs. Obviously after Googling and fretting myself into a frenzy over possible really bad things happening to DS as a result of too many baby drugs.

Sorry for the long, non-sleep-related post!

Poor baby Isitme... what bad things teeth are!

We had a better night - he slept 7.30pm to 3.10am... on bf alone. So that is most encouraging.... but then he woke at 4 and 5 before getting up at 6.30am. Oh well, I feel better for the longer stretch of sleep.

Hope others did as well..........

Well, we all survived my night out, although she wasn't quite so settled last night (my punishment I think!) so woke at 10:10 (DH bottled her), 2:00, 4:00 and 6:00 then up for the day at 8:00. I fed her at 2 and 4 and then DH tried to get her back to sleep at 6 but, despite us agreeing we'd simply 'shhhh' and pat while cuddling her, he didn't 'shhhh' once and she just carried on yelling. I took her, shhed and she went out like a light! Hoping he's learned his lesson! I think she's waking more often because her cold has turned really really congested. Might get some saline drops/spray today.

Her naps yesterday were non-existent. She woke after 15 minutes of her morning nap, and from then on, she wouldn't sleep cos she was overtired, and screamed and screamed from 9:30 till 5:30. dycey, hope DS is still on the mend and I'm sure you'll get the sleep sorted soon.

Confused, we've been giving DD Calpol every day for about 2 weeks (although we try only to give it at bedtime, unless she's being foul during the day). She's got a cold and I reckon she's got teeth on the move too, a recipe for disaster.

Let's hope our little ones learn to sleep one day soon, eh?!

Hello all. We had our best night ever last night - just one wake to feed at around 3am, and then slept through until 7.20am.

This was most appreciated after a week of 3 wakes per night and some very early starts. Unfortunately the teething restarted this afternoon, so it was only a very short respite. Not sure what tonight will bring.

But at least we have some reassurance that it is DS's teeth that are causing the current waking pattern.

Hope you all are having some better nights too.

Well, the CC does seem to have done something. We are now back to one 'night' waking. I felt terrible doing it, but after the first night the crying was only for about 5-10 minutes and DD settled herself. For a few nights she was still waking up at 1am (commonly her first wake of the night) and settling herself within 10 minutes. She then cut out the 2 and 3 wakings to wake at 4 for a feed.

Last night after a waking at 10:30 around the dream feed, she slept to 5am. The only problem was that she was wide awake! Have to admit that we took her into bed. She rolled around for about 3/4 hour before finally going off.

Still, it's an improvement. I am now at least less scared of taking her to my parents for Christmas.

isitme - glad you had a good night. It's that window from a 3/4/5am feed through to morning that we need to crack!

Galena - we've been having the same problem with naps. 2 x 20 minutes yesterday. DD was knackered!

We're away at my parents' at the moment - drove up after DD's bath last night - thank goodness for car carrycots (She hates her carseat)! Unfortunately, we had to go along the M62 which was deep in snow earlier in the day, so for about half an hour or so we were going 40mph. Cue waking from DD - at 9:30pm!! FAR too early! We got to my parents' at about 10:15pm so I fed her then and she only woke at 3:30 for a feed before waking for the day just after 6am. Not too dreadful, I guess. Let's see what tonight brings.

She had about an hour and a half of naps today (in 4 bits) - but only in my or DH's arms. Wouldn't sleep in her cot at all. Not as dark in the bedroom here though as our bedroom at home. I'm afraid I'd rather she slept, than was in her cot, especially as her cold is really congested now.

Glad the 2 of you are having better nights! DD's nursery is finished now, so she'll be moving out as soon as we're home (Jan 2nd). Wish me luck!

Arghhhhh

Another bad night. The first stretch went well, with solid sleep until 4am. I then fed DD and she would not go back to sleep for love nor money. An hour of sitting, patting, stroking and sshing later, we gave up and brought her into bed. She then rolled around for another 40 minutes before going back to sleep.

It is so horrible what it does to me. During the day I can cope, but in the middle of those periods in the cold night I find myself actually resenting my own daughter. Close to hating her for the odd moment. It makes me feel horrific. Then morning comes and she smiles at me and I feel better...

I think we're going to muddle through the holidays and then really try and crack down with some serious routine during the day. Goodness knows what tactic we'll use at night. CC seems to have broken the 'waking every hour' pattern, but it's just made DD very clingy whenever we leave the room. I guess she doesn't trust us as much any more...

Sorry to hear you had a bad night, Confused. Me too - grim, grim, grim! She woke at 10 for her first feed, whcih was fine, then at 1:15 and 3:30 but then she wouldn't go back down until 5:00 (Slept in hubby's arms, but refused to go down in the cot) and then woke for the day at 6:30am. Tonight is likely to be bad too - she wouldn't settle when first put down (hasn't fed properly all day due to being so bunged up and I think she's got a sore throat too). Finally went to sleep and has been asleep since about 7:45, but hasn't actually fed. Not sure if she'll feed when she wakes, but if not, I guess she'll do her delightful 'wake every 80 minutes' routine!

ARGH!

I need sleep!

Oh poor Confused and Galena and your little ones. Sounds like you are all suffering.

Confused - DS seemed to be very clingy after we had tried CC. Or it could have been my guilty imagination. But it settled down after a week or so. He's been a koala baby for the last few days with his teething though, bless him.

I wanted to say that I know exactly what you mean about resenting them sometimes.

If it helps at all, after doing CC, we had a very bad night after DS had two good nights (one wake only). We thought the CC hadn't worked, and didn't know what to do. It was horrible, with DS crying on and off for two hours I think. We realised the next day he was teething .

We then came up with a plan of how to respond to DS when he isn't well (basically, comfort any way we can, and give relevant baby drugs).

Remember that, once they know how to fall asleep by themselves, they will be able to do it again once they're better. And comforting them when they are poorly means that they will be able to trust that you will come to them quickly if they need to.

So, it's likely that your DD just needs a couple of days to adjust. Make sure you give her plenty of cuddles and attention during the day, and she should be fine. If she's poorly, be reassured that DS has been waking three times a night since Sunday before last with his hurty teeth, except on Saturday night when it seemed to get better and he just had one wake. Hopefully your DD will be the same, if it's that which is bothering her.

Thanks guys. Sorry to hear you're in the same boat Galena.

Another rought night. We had a stretch to 4:45, and I suppose I should be really grateful for a 5 1/2 hour stretch. The problem is that, again, it was followed by an hour up and then another 45 minutes after we gave up and brought her into bed rolling around and generally causing chaos. She scratched my lip quite badly on the inside as I was trying to 'play dead' too.

I really don't know what to do any more. We're away for Christmas, so I think everything has to go into a holding pattern until we're back. I'm then going to try and summon the reserves to crack this. I've even been looking at those expensive sleep consultants on the internet. Anyone know one round the London area who actually works?

Hi Confused - Poor you, but try not to despair.

Are you actually away from home at the moment? If so, it's quite possible that's what's causing the current sleep disruption. It's apparently very common in 6-12 month age group. How I wish somebody had told us that before we booked to go away on summer holiday - we would have stayed at home.

It should settle down again once you get home after a couple of days. You might need to do the CC again, but it should work quite quickly, so I'm told.

There are loads of sleep consultants around London. We haven't tried any (yet!), but for example The Millpond Sleep Clinic quotes a 97% success rate. You can also get Night Nannies who will come and do the sleep training for you, but I'm not sure what I think about that...we used them for extra support in the early days and the lady we got was a lovely midwife. Not cheap though.

My advice is to see how things settle down again when you get home.

Sadly, we are only off this morning. Wish that was the reason for the waking!

Think I'll just do survival mode until after Christmas and then, if things aren't better, think about Millpond or someone.

New theory is that it's the cold that's waking her totally when she wakes for a feed at 5am, so when we're home we're going to try a blast of the heating about 4...

Well, she slept till 11:15pm last night, then woke at about 3:00am and then 7:30am. So my dire predictions all came to nothing! Today she's been more herself (albeit with a horrible chesty cough) and she went to sleep at around 7:30 (at which point hubby and I escaped for our first meal together since she's been home, leaving her with the grandparents), and hasn't stirred since.

Sorry to hear you're still struggling, Confused, I'm afraid I can't offer much help except support! I agree with survival mode when it's needed though - we're holding her for all daytime naps at the moment as it's easier than having her screaming the place down, and it means she does at least get sleep! Makes her a much more pleasant member of society.

Confused, does DD have a sleeping bag? My DD does, and so when she wakes she doesn't get very cold as she's still snuggled in her sleeping bag while she feeds.

Oh dear Confused - hope you have a good trip away, and come back once you're home and we'll see if we can think of anything else.

I know that a lot of DS's little friends have had spells of mysterious early waking, and they went away again. So it could just be a phase.

Galena glad your DD is beginning to get better. Definitely think you're doing the right thing re the naps.

DS is still teething. Am thinking about phoning the HVs today - if they're their - just to check that you can have teething for almost two weeks. All the books talk about it as if it's over in 3 days...

But he has been sleeping okayish compared to pre-CC - two feeds and one other wake most nights. It's just the days he starts at horrible o clock that get to me. 7am start today - YAY!

DD seems to have been teething forever! Bless 'em - can't be much fun... I remember when my wisdom teeth were coming through. She decided she'd done enough sleeping at 5:30 this morning. The only way I could get more sleep was to cuddle her and let her sleep in my arms - that got us to 7, so I felt it was a job well done!

Hope we're all ready for first Christmas?! Pressies are wrapped, DD is in bed and we're waiting for Santa!

Hope everybody had a lovely day yesterday. DS did much better than I expected at playing with the vast number of new toys. We've saved a few parcels, including the one from us, until today.

I think he definitely picked up on the excitement, as the only way he was able to nap yesterday afternoon was with me cuddling him. We also had a bit of a disrupted night, and then awake for the day at 5.30am (I agree Galena cuddling for sleep until 7am would have felt like a good deal here, but no luck!).

Still not sure we're finished with the teething yet...happy boxing day!