Misguided Illusion Part II - Baby still not sleeping through by six months? Come and join us!

[MomOrMum]

Thought I would start a fresh thread as, sadly, we have almost filled the first one.

Feral, Kiwi, Chulita, et al...shouldn't we have graduated from this thread by now?!

Now welcoming a new crop of 6 months+ babies determined to help us reach new heights/depths of sleep deprivation.

Here is the original thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/713951-Support-thread-for-those-who-were-under-the-misguided-illusion

We have had a lovely few days. We're now in Scotland, staying with friends. Heading to Yorkshire again on the 1st and home on the 3rd. She's been queen of daytime naps (when being cuddled) and has slept fairly well (waking at 11ish and 3 ish) however, after the 3ish feed won't go back to sleep. Isn't screaming, just won't sleep. It's been 2hrs each of the past 2 nights. Hopefully this will improve! I wonder if it's because it's rather colder here... 21 degrees in the bedroom at home, 19 degrees at my parents' and 15 degrees here! Too much snow!

Here's hoping everyone's having a super holiday period.

We're back!

As expected, the sleep wasn't great whilst we were away. DD is not a big fan of the travel cot and for the first few nights we ended up bringing her into bed as the only way to keep her quiet. One night she slept in with us from 1am onwards.

Back home we had a good night (brief waking at 12:30 for five minutes, feed around 5:30 and back to sleep until 7:30) followed by a bad one last night (up at 10:20 screaming, so did dreamfeed as not so dreamfeed then. Then up at 2:30 briefly, and for two whole hours at 4am before sleeping to 7:45).

Am at the end of my tether. The CC doesnt seem to have done anything and I'm loathe to try it again. I had hoped that a few days would be enough. I can't stomach multiple attempts! We're reverting to NCSS and I've joined that new thread. We already started to introduce some NCSS things before Christmas, like a bedtime lovey, but this time I'm determined. Over Christmas someone was talking to me about her adult sons and said "One of mine didn't sleep through until he was 11 months." Then she said "ooh, sorry, don't mean to depress you." In fact, I saw that as a positive story. 11 months is only 3 months away, and is in time for when I go back to work. If DD is sleeping well by then I'll be well pleased!

Glad to hear you had a good holiday Galena and Isitme. How are things now?

Anyone else have no intention of staying up to see in the new year?!

Not been on for ages - will you still have me on here (have festive name in place - was Starshinetiger).

Well, am here to empathise with you all and send positive sleep vibes to all for 2010. We have seen some improvement here - DD is often waking only for 1 feed in night, but sometimes 2 (probably 50/50 over a week, but I like to focus on the positive ). Trouble is, getting her to sleep in the evenings. Our trip up to Scotland mid-December, where she had to fall asleep without feeding or being rocked, while in the car, does seem to have helped. I was sat beside her all the time and I stroked her hand or offered her dummy (not that she generally takes one), but after first couple of times, she just got to stage where she wanted to be left to it and now when we're out and about in car at nap time (not often, but sometimes necessary), she just goes into a glaze and then drops off without crying (hurrah!!!). So, has given me strength to try my version of CC at bedtime too. Does seem to be helping a bit and a couple of nights in last week, we have got to where I have done some intervals of leaving her to cry and then reassuring and then I have to sit by her bed, when she is ready just to lie down and just stay there until she is ready to fall asleep. So, I see this as progress. Wish she was just like her brother though, who would just suck his thumb to sleep, but then we did encourage him to fall asleep on his own from about 8 weeks. If I had realised that this wouldn't just naturally happen with DD, we would have done it that early with her too.

Anyway, sympathies to all of you. Confused - I too would settle for sleeping through the night by 11 months, as I'll have been back at work a month by then and will be about to go up to 4 days per week. No intention of seeing in new year awake here . Think I might head over to NCSS thread and join you as that is what we started with to get DD off feeding to sleep, so maybe I need to refresh my knowledge of that for the falling asleep on own bit at this age (now 9.5 months)...

Oh, nearly forgot - today we have moved the single bed out of DD's room and back under DS' bed, so now I only have the rocking chair to sit in when in her room at night, to try to encourage me not to just lie down with her in the small hours and to make room for her new bookcase... we shall see how it goes!

Good sleep vibes to all for 2010!

Good vibes to all too. Things okay with us. Two night feeds at four hourly still . Need courage as planning to stop next week. More on that in a few days . Just to say that while abroad he woke three hourly and am sure that was for reassurance. Once in Uk tho not home but with more familiar g parents it settled to normal . Might that reassure anyone?

Arghhh.

DD has another cold. We had one good night when we got home after Christmas and now this. Was up five times last night (between our bedtime and 7am)and four the night before.

Happy new sleep year everybody!

Had a lovely Christmas, although DS seemed to be constantly teething, so the past week featured a wake of 11/2 hours every night. Last night just one feed and a quick resettle around 10pm though, so fingers crossed tonight will also be better.

Poor ConfusedBaby - sorry she's not feeling well. Your fantasy reminded me that I had been thinking earlier how we always used to think about summer holidays at this time of year. This year, the question is where we can go that is not so far away that we can't just come home if DS isn't sleeping well.

ANother cold here too... such a shame. Going back to work in 2 weeks (AHHHH) and was wanting to stop night feeds asap now we are home to see if DS can sleep through... need to wait but I am so weary now. And nervous.

Wonder what anyone thinks about how to stop night feeds. Should I leave him in the cot or take him a=out and cuddle? Should I stay in the room or pop in and out? He will cry very loudly - scream indeed and be v upset I predict. Just hope he catches on quickly! Any ideas on how to do it would be much appreciated.....

He is walking now! 10 months.... Very proud Mummy......

Hope others are well.

We're finally home!

DD had first night in her own cotbed in her own room last night. (Yes, she's over 8 months, but she was very premature, so really only 5mo) I was expecting all kinds of hell, but she woke at 11:30 and 4 as she has been doing recently. She then didn't wake at 6 and come into our bed as she has been while we've been away, and in fact, she's only just stirring now!! I can't believe it - she's NEVER slept this late before!

Guess I should go and get her...

Glad the new cot bed went well Galena. I remember being nervous about own room, own bed thing but it also went well for us. Sometimes they like their own space, I think.

Well done Galena that sounds brilliant. I'm afraid DS was in his own room from 3 months, but I think it really depends on you and your baby what works best. We did find that we all got better sleep that way (at least initially!).

Had a horrible couple of nights on Saturday and Sunday with DS waking loads and taking ages to resettle - he didn't even settle after feeds. But the teething seemed to have got better, so we had no idea why the sleeping had got worse.

DH and I have decided that we need to try controlled crying again with DS tonight. I am hoping, hoping, hoping that he will rediscover his sleep groove without us having to do too much. So far he is already doing so much better than last night as he went straight to sleep after his bedtime feed and hasn't rewoken yet. Last night DH had been up to him 3 or 4 times already by this time.

Fingers crossed for us and everybody else.

Have been lurking for a while and would like to join you. Have 7 mo ds sleeping in his own room. We're still doing a dreamfeed plus the little tike is waking up a couple of times a night, ie before 6.30.. Though wierdly not every night!?

He's currently attached to my boob as I optomistically decided to cut the dreamfeed tonight as he was looking so peaceful.. Pah!

Hope some of you are getting some sleep...!

I got sleep! DD went from 6:30pm until midnight, and then straight back to sleep after her feed until 6:30am!! It was a bit of a surprise to say the least! Wonder if she'll remember how to do it tonight...

IsItMe, I hope last night was better for you. Maybe he heard you discussing CC and decided to give in before it happened.

mummywoowoo welcome and fingers crossed things improve.

Hello to mummwoowoo.

I have been thinking about sleep and what to do for so long I have got totally stuck in a rut of doing nothing.

Cold though is getting worse and last night DS was up for an hour with a temperature so I have a little more time to do nothing!

Got to stop night feeding - now I am wondering why I didn't do this months ago. I have spent at least 8 months obsessed with sleep and yet have found the idea of using crying methods so distressing that I haven't dared do anything. What a wimp!

I would say if you are going back to work to not leave it as late as me! (back in two weeks) - what with non stop illnesses and then christmas I suddenly find myself faced with the prospect of sleep training while working. UGH.

Hello

I would like to join you if I may.I have 8mo girl non-id twins. They slept well during the first 6 months of their life, feeding every 3/4 hours through the night (they were ebf until 6 months and now bf and BLW, no bottles) but going back to sleep after feeds. At 5 months they were just waking for one feed at about 3/4 and I thought they would naturally go longer and longer until they slept through. How naive!!!

From 6 months they started feeding through the night again, first reinstating the 10pm feed and then over a week or so feeding every 3 hours. It's hard to say whether this would have happened if they had not had horrible colds, but they did, and so I fed them each time they woke (I had the same cold and was raging with thirst every time I woke up so figured they were they same) and after they got better the feeds remained. More recently, DTD1 has also started to be difficult to settle after feeds, sometimes I am going in to her every 20 mins for up to 1.5 hours after feed and she also sometimes wakes at 5.30am and won't go back to sleep. I wouldn't mind if this was sleeping through to 5.30, but starting the day at this time after being up 6+ times is not fun!

Just in the last few nights things have improved slightly so it may be that they will get there on their own before too long - first waking of the night is now more like 10/11 instead of 8 (!) or 9pm and DTD2 (bless her) went 4 hours between feeds last night and the night before feeding at 11 and 3.

Despite my best efforts they are often out of sync by the early hours so I'm often up every hour with one and then the other from 1 - 6 and the cumulative lack of sleep is meaning that even if I have a reasonable night (no waking other than to feed and feeds in sync) I am still exhauasted next day.

Don't want to do anything dramatic just yet, as they are BLW I want to give them another month or two to be eating more on a regular basis before I try to cut down or cut out night feeds, but I do need some support from someone who understands as I'm so fed of up of all my friends telling me their babies slept through from 6 weeks or whatever. I'm sure their memory is selective, but even so, it's not helpful!

Apologies for the essay, but even writing it down has been cathartic!!

Galena if only, but sadly not. He took so long to fall off to sleep again (about 2 hours, although with several false lulls in between) that we were sure he was hungry towards the end. But DS's night-time wakes are quite often around 2 hours, so we stuck with it. I kept remembering that the alternative to letting him fall asleep by himself is basically just having let him cry for ages for no reason at all.

He was obviously wiped out though, as he didn't wake for his feed until 6am. Then nursed for an hour before falling back to sleep again. DH woke him at 8am, and DS was all smiles. Phew!

He conked out again, and is currently napping. Fingers crossed this will all seem worth it later tonight.

And Galena woohoo for your DD. Hope you managed to sleep too.

mummywoowoo welcome. Sorry you have to join us, and that does sound perplexing. Have you tried anything yet, other than dropping dream feed?

1stMrsF (love your name!) welcome too. Blimey heck, that sounds tough! I had always wondered what would happen if you had twins out of sync, with sleep problems, and now I know. No wonder you feel exhausted.

Well done on BFing them both too. I'm very impressed by your stamina.

I know what you mean about the BLW, and wanting to give them a fair chance to settle in. We reached breaking point at around 8.5mo, and then had to wait a couple of weeks because of teething/colds before we could try anything dramatic with DS.

We did try some more gentle things to stretch the gaps between nightfeeds, which may be of interest to you. Basically you try to increase the gap between feeds by, say, 30mins each night. You comfort them in whatever way you can while they're waiting if they wake too early. Could your DP help you try something like this with DTD2, to make sure she sticks with just the two feeds?

It sounds as if something else is going on with DTD1...

1stMrsF - wow - you are amazing. Ever since I had DS I have been totally in awe of people with twins. WELL DONE YOU.

And to cope with sleep deprivation when 2 are getting you up is amazing. Fantastic.

A cold started our troubles too! Damn colds.

Good luck to you. I hope they settle of their own accord (have been vainly hoping that for my 10.5 month old but to no avail). Some do though!

And can I add Damn Teething?

Yes damn teething too! Anything else?

Um, damn sleep books? They make me feel even more inadequate. And irritated. I can't really read them, which is a problem.

For instance, the NCSS, I get stuck on how to pronounce "Coleton". And why is it always "My Coleton"? That makes me irrationally irritated for some reason.

Okay, don't want to jinx it, but DS cried for 17mins at around 10pm last night, then slept through until 6am. First. Time. Ever. At almost 10mo.

A bit of a surprise, as I expected him to still want his middle of the night feed. I guess we see what he does tonight.

Wow that is fantastic Isitme - thrilling!

What did you do during the 17 minutes at 10pm?

FINGERS crossed for the same tonight.

Thanks dycey. DH kept doing the reassurance visits (I just try to ignore, ignore, ignore the crying), so I think he did one at 3 mins, then another 5 mins later, and then it would have been at 10 mins later, but DS had settled by then. He just stays with him about a minute, tucks him back in and says a few reassuring words.

I was a bit about the previous night, worrying that DS might have got hungry in the end (he would normally feed at some point in the early hours, but it moved about a lot). It was much better starting at 10pm, as that was way earlier than he ever usually had a feed.

Everything crossed for tonight. TBH I would be happy if he woke for a nightfeed, although I guess I shouldn't complain if he doesn't.

Great to hear IsItMe... Fingers crossed for tonight.

DD is overtired today (DH suddenly remembered as he left work that he had an appointment, then I asked him to get some shopping on his way home (haven't risked going out myself today with DD) and so felt I couldn't have bathed her and put her to bed before he was home). Unfortunately when she's overtired she doesn't feed well before bed so goes to bed crying. When she eventually sleeps she wakes after about an hour, feeds properly and goes back down. I can't imagine tonight's going to be a one-waker, somehow.

She has actually settled for now - cried for a few minutes then DH went in. She calmed down then he put her down and she yelled. I was just going to go up to see if she'd feed, but it's all gone quiet. I'm not complaining! She woke twice last night, but I guess twice is better than I was getting a few weeks ago, so I should be grateful.

Hope the twins are settling, 1stMrsF. And dycey, I hope the cold is improving?

Hmmmm, still all quiet. Wasn't expecting that! We'll see how long it lasts!