at the very end of my tether - please tell me controlled crying might help for 7-month-old

[bean612]

DD has been screaming for the last 45 mins. She went to sleep at 7.45, woke up at 8.30 but we managed to shush her back to sleep. This time though she is furious. At the moment she's like this every night - 3 wakings with varying degrees of screaming before we go to bed, then up 2 or 3 (or 4) times in the night, sometimes just grizzling, sometimes screaming. We don't feed her, just give her water, but it's not food she wants. She CAN get herself to sleep as we used to put her down for the night awake and she'd get herself to sleep within 5-15 mins without much problem. But now... I vacillate between sobbing myself and feeling furious and having to leave the room to calm down. I can't take it much longer. Seems to me like CC is the only option left.

Aldegirl, I didn't say thank you yesterday for that amazing post, I'm sorry. It made me feel so much better. And your most recent one, which I read this morning. It's amazing how lovely you and others are being, the kindness of strangers and all that, and it's really been keeping me going. So thank you.

Today's report (or rather last night's): I went out yesterday evening for a book club/drinks and DD woke up about 1 min after I left apparently and screamed on and off till about 1am. But then did sleep till nearly 9am. Progress.

This afternoon I went to a different GP who was miles kinder and actually listened. And prescribed mild AD with sedative effects which we agreed I would take every other night (ie. when I'm not "on duty") just for a week or so to try and break my insomnia cycle, so when I have the opportunity to sleep I actually do.

Tomorrow we're going to call the Millpond sleep clinic (anyone used them?), sod the cost, we'll find the money somehow.

And two kind friends have said they will babysit and are fully aware that if (ha! when) she wakes, DD may scream for hours, but as they have said, she's not their baby so it
will be awful but not traumatising. One even said she would do a night shift and DH and I could stay at her flat or go away somewhere, and she knew it would probably be hell but she also knew she could just sleep the next night to compensate. Not sure I could face leaving DD for a whole night, esp as she's never been left with anyone but DH or me for more than an hour or two, but think we will definitely try and have a couple of evenings out (and face the music when we get home!)

Aldegirl, your advice all sounds really, well, sound . I'm thinking about how we can use some of it (and some things we already do, like using a grobag, using the same bubble bath). Hopefully the hospital appt will shed some light on things if it DOES turn out to be reflux-related, but if it seems there's no physiological problem, then we'll see what Millpond come up with. I think I just want an expert to have all the facts that relate specifically to DD, so they can suggest something tailored to her exact problems. But if that doesn't work, we're going for CC. And I suspect what they recommend may involve some form of it anyway. Ach, I don't know. £200++ for something we could do ourselves? But expert guidance would be so great...

I'm fully prepared for tonight to be hell, but there are some glimmers of hope here.

Bean, have read most of this thread with great interest. I too have a bad sleeper - I just started a thread about it, then I came across this one and have got loads of good ideas from all the posts. I just wanted to say I sympathise massively. I have no advice to offer unfortunately, as I am seeking ideas myself but I really hope your DD's sleep improves soon, and my DS's too so we can start to get rid of those dark circles under our eyes!!! Good luck and I'll follow the rest of the thread with interest.

Last night was better in that she woke up every hour but I fed her back to sleep each time within a few mins. It meant I barely dozed all night, since each time I got properly to sleep she woke me up again, but at least there was no screaming.

This evening DH and I went out together for the first time in 5 months and a kind friend babysat. DD woke up after 45 mins and screamed for 2 hours until we got home. She is screaming now as DH tries to comfort her. I tried, but she is refusing even the breast - keeps pulling off and screaming. She is beside herself with tiredness. I don't know what she wants nor what we can do. I don't even feel that guilty about going to bed with earplugs in and trying to block her out. Because clearly it would make no difference if I was there anyway. I know she is upset because she's been awake for ages and is too worked up to sleep. So this is our "punishment" for going out. While we were out I thought "whatever happens tonight it will have been worth it". Now I'm not so sure.

Juanitad, let's hope you and I solve our problems sooner rather than later. I don't know about you, but I feel like literally tearing out my hair right now.

Hey there bean, glad posts were welcome:-)

How are things with you? Are you doing the thing of taking sleepy a-ds every other night to get a break? How about the sleep clinic / osteopath?

Wanted to let you know that the Aldehouse decision to do cc with ds continues to reap benefits. He now gurgles and plays in his cot when he wakes in the morning, and for the past 2 nights has been put down to sleep with his eyes open and gone to sleep without crying within 15 minutes. Couldn't believe it. Daytime naps are still a bit fraught, and he still wakes every 3/4 hrs at night for milk, but it's so so so much better than ever it has been. Hang in there. It's better to sort these things when babies are still wee... before they can walk, climb, or scream even louder ( [shock!] )

Tonight will be my third night of cc and I am was great until he had his first tooth and since that he wants rocking to sleep evey night. But as soon as you get him an inch from his cot he wakes and starts screaming. The 1st night he went on for 40 mins and fell asleep standing up holding on to the side of the cot. Last night only took 20 mins and I thought great we are getting there, but he then woke at 2.30 and took an hour to ge back to sleep. We all then over slept and myself and husband were late for work :-(
I know it's for his own good, but my husband doesn't get home till late so I have to do it all alone and it's killing me to see son so upset. I am always wondering if he's poorly and I'm missing something.

Oh burtie, poor you. It must be awful on your own, I know I couldn't do it without DH's support (ie. physical presence in the house, as well as emotional back-up). How old is your DS? Are you sure he's not getting his second tooth? Several people have told me the first two come quite close together (usually the bottom middle two).

Aldegirl - thank you once again for checking in. I've only taken the ADs once as I felt terribly hungover after the first time and also they're not sure about crossing into breast milk. Plus I have been sleeping a bit better (with the exception of one night where DD slept through from 10.30pm to 4.30am but I was awake the whole night till 6am - how bloody daft is that?). But it's good to know they're there - like a safety net.

Osteopath appt not for another 10 days, and spoke to sleep clinic this a.m. who have devised a plan for us. I'm pretty sure that although it involves lying next to DD in bed and cuddling her, so as gentle as you can get, she will merely thrash and scream for hours because we're not picking her up. Still, we can only try. Am dreading it, though - in a way I imagine CC would be easier as at least we could leave the room rather than being flailed and kicked and screamed at for hours. But I must try to be optimistic. It's hard, though. Today I took her to the childminder's to try and settle (ha ha) her in as I'm going back to work in 2 weeks. First session was fine as I stayed there the whole time, but today DH stayed there for half an hour (no problems) but then left her for an hour and within 30 seconds of him leaving the flat she was screaming. Childminder called me after 15 mins asking for him to come and collect her as she "wasn't settling" - the understatement of the century. What if she keeps that up? I won't even be able to go back to work...

i feel for you. my ds wakes every two hours at 18 months , and screams, and i get irate and often lie on the kitchen floor howling as you have done. He is hungry and also its now habit.

could be growth spurt?

anyway I am trying Dr jay gordon's night weaning.

no other advice, other than i feel your pain

Thank you bean612. DS is 8 and a half months now. Husband should be home early tonight, so should be better. Mon to Thurs is always bad. I do think his next bottom tooth is on it's way. It took 20 min last night, but he woke at 3.30 and too about 40 mins to go back down. In the end he was going into his staring stage standing up (normaly means he's drifting off) So I just put him down and patted him a little till he went off (only seconds patting)
I know it will all be worth it in the end, but dam it's hard. He slept in this morning, so I had to go in and wake him at 6.45 to get him ready to be dropped of at the childminder. He is always all smiles in the morning, so I will carry on and hopefully get there in the end.
DS was after 3 years of fertility, so I still wouldn't change a thing. He is the best thing ever, even when it's hard. ;-)

Hello bean 612 and all other sleep deprived ladies - hoping things are improving with you all.

In a bizarre and bitterly ironic twist of fate, Aldebaby is now waking "only" every 4 hours in the night for a feed (lightyears better than ever before) - but dh has descended into insomnia hell and has only slept 1hr per night for the past week . So I'm worrying about dh waking whenever ds stirs when he (dh) has just drifted off, so I don't sleep with worry, and dh has started sleeping in a different room to let me sleep, so we are now all 3 in different rooms and it SUCKS!!!!!!!

Aaaaah will things ever get better without getting worse again!!!!

Rant over...

...anyone heard of sleep training programmes for husbands?

Hi Bean just read this thread, hope things are getting better! Just wanted to say we took our DD to the osteos in Farringdon that you mentioned (took her when she was only 2 weeks) for something else, not sleep - anyway it was the best decision we made. We went till she was 12 weeks old and it was really brilliant - helped with sleep, feeding and reflux (that she had). You'll need to go a few times and remember to make your next few appointments when you're there because they get booked up really fast. They are also good at identifying any underlying problems. I hope they help!

Aldegirl! How are you? Your poor, poor DH - insomnia sucks, and it feels totally ridiculous to lie awake for hours while your DC sleeps AT LAST. I know just how he feels, I've done my fair share of that in the last few months. It IS just a phase, though, it won't last, I promise. Meanwhile, hugs to you all - and hope you get back into the same bedroom soon. DH and I haven't managed it yet, but hopefully it won't be too long, because...

This is week 2 of our sleep clinic programme, and I have to say it's working so well. Nothing miraculous, but that's okay because things are already so much better, and so I have hope for them improving steadily over the coming weeks until life begins to regain some form of normality. We contacted Millpond and they've been great. Nothing they suggested was new or revolutionary, it's all tried-and-tested stuff, but it's the combination of things that specifically address DD's issues that's what's making it work, I think. DD now has a more structured day in terms of nap times, meal times and milk times, and we've brought dinner forward to much earlier (2 hours before bed), the bedtime feed to before the bath, and it's made loads of difference in terms of her not being really tired and grumpy at dinner and bathtime. She's napping in her buggy (always protests and/or cries for a few mins, but then falls asleep - miracle!), and best of all, at nighttime, we've got her back IN HER OWN BED. Yippee! She howled a lot for nights 1 and 2, but bedtimes are getting much easier - we sit by her cot but don't pick her up or feed her to sleep, and she either goes down with only a minor grizzle, or yells for a few minutes but then goes to sleep. During the night is not quite so good - generally she has been waking at an entirely random point in the night (any time between 12.15 a.m. and 5 a.m.) and intermittently howling for up to an hour and a half, but not every night, and it's not so bad with your iPod on (and hand on her tummy to comfort, I hasten to add).

The next step is to move her cot into her own room - gulp. But I think we'll probably have another couple of nights of full-on protest and then she'll settle down again. It will be SO great to get our room back (being able to read in bed, not creeping around in the dark), and she'll only be next door, so not far away...

Sorry, terf, meant to say - thank you v. much for the reassurance re the osteopaths. Our appt is next Tues, so am really looking forward to seeing if they can improve things further. Fingers crossed!

Bean, hurray for the vast improvements with your dd! Hope you and DH are both back in your bedroom now .

Things here are still pretty crappy in that dh is still not sleeping. So I wanted to ask you, what did you do to get over your insomnia?? I know it's all about his head and worries, but it really helps to know he's not the only one. Maybe it's just a case of give it time and it will pass...

So ds is still waking every 4 hours at night and nothing will settle him apart from the boob. I mean, nothing I can do - given dh's sleep probs we decided it would be me going to the baby at night. But so that means that a) ds is now used to only boob to get back to sleep in the night because I don't want to let him cry and he won't take dummy/water/just cuddles from me and b) dh is knackered & has work during the day so I don't ever get a chance to sleep for more than 4 hours straight. MOanmoanmoan, I know it could be (and has been) much worse, but can't see any way oput of this right now and have awful visions of ds being 2 and still waking twice a night for milk. The most ridiculous thing is that he is now 6 months almost and only wants milk twice a day pretty much. So by day my boobs are huge sore and trickle milk, and by night they work overtime. Crazy. Makes me want to stop bf altogether, or go the other way and bring ds into bed with me/next to me - since we all seem to be in separate bedrooms anyway.

Grrrrrrr

any advice appreciated sorry Bean if this is a hijack of your thread but it's quite nice the way advice goes around here in a circle of good weeks/bad weeks.

Oh yes and hope osteopath went well.

hello, been reading wiht interest as i sit downstairs with insomnia while dd (8 months) is finally asleep upstairs. we are also having problems wiht sleep - getting her to sleep is fine (generally on the boob, or preferably being held, but no way she will go down awake in the cot, alas).

beans - would you recommend millpond? we are looking for some help now, even if it is expensive help.

Waitinggirl - my sympathies. It all sounds very familiar! I would definitely recommend Millpond. As I think I mentioned earlier somewhere, their strategies are nothing revolutionary, but the point is they tailor them to your specific issues, taking into account your individual family life, what sort of approach you want to take, etc. My problem with the books (NCSS, Baby Whisperer, Ferber etc) was that they all said "If your baby does A and B, then you need to do X", and I found my baby would do A but not B, so nothing was really addressing our exact problem, if you see what I mean.

Our Millpond strategy seems to have reached a plateau, and in fact I think we're approaching the point of doing some controlled crying in the end. But having said that, we've managed a lot of improvements with the plan, and I'm happier about the idea of some CC, having worked up to it by getting her back into her cot and helping her settle with minimal intervention, rather than cold turkey (ie. straight from our bed being fed to sleep, to her own room being left to cry). And we wouldn't have managed that without Millpond. They've also really sorted out her daytime routine, which I was too stressed to realise needed sorting, and that has certainly helped in terms of getting rid of the grumpiness at dinner and bathtime etc. I think we were so tired and upset we were just going round in circles, all over the place, trying all sorts of strategies but nothing consistent, and needed someone to say "Look, this is what you need to do". And they did.
Hope that helps.

Aldegirl - will post again later re insomnia etc - DD is chewing my computer cable and I need to stop her!

I'd highly recommend CC! I used it for DS1 and DS2. I was a bit hesitant with DS 1 and wish I had done it earlier and with more conviction, I think he got a few mixed messages. I did it at 7 months with DS2 at 7 months and didn't look back until about a fortnight ago (he's teething really badly and I think separation anxiety due to starting nursery 2 wks ago - He's 10 months now - I am waiting to see if he settles but once teeth are through, I may do CC again). I really believe that it helped his sleep, he's barely woken in 3 months and wakes refreshed as opposed to having woken up 3 or 4 times in the night and not had proper sleep. We owe it to them to teach good sleep habits and it is distresing but good parenting often is v tough. He cried a LOT - an hour plus a couple of times for the first night, then a lot less the second and then a tiny bit the third and that was that. Try it, but don't do it until you're really ready and really mean it. I'd recommend not going in at all as it seemed to wind DS up more, but you may not be able to face tat, it needs nerves of steel. Good luck, get your Richad Ferber book out!

Bean - in your situation and for the sake of your sanity, health and happiness, I too would be trying to find a solution to the problem, not assuming that this is just the way some babies are as some have suggested and you should jut get on with it

We had a nightmare sleeper until 12 months. The worst was at 10 months where she would literally wake up for 2-3 hours every night screaming non stop. After 2 solid months, it nearly killed us both as a couple, we didn't feel safe driving the car, we couldn't function at work and I very nearly got Depression so please do stick to trying to find a solution.

If you haven't tried CC and you're in favour of it, then go for it and don't listen to anyone else. As you have heard, it has worked for plenty of people but not all. It wasn't unfortunately the solution to our problems but I don't regret trying it at all.

At 12 months we stumbled across the solution- her day time naps. We found out by going on holiday and just letting her fall asleep out and about when she felt like it. Turns out all she needed was 2x45 min naps and to go to bed a hour later (8pm) otherwise we think she was waking up as she'd had too much sleep by that point and wanted company.

We have found that if DD wakes now because she hasn't had the right amount of daytime sleep and is normally overtired, then the Gradual Retreat method now works like a charm for us. It took about a week to see results but now I can just open her door, give her a few ssshes, she has the comfort of knowing someone is there and drifts off. I now know that CC was not the right method for my very strong willed and sensitive daughter, but it may well have been just what she needed and I would never have known if I hadn't have tried.

I think what I am trying to say in a very long winded way is that if you keep coming back to CC then try it and then at least you will know if it solves your problem and if not keep experimenting until you suss it - its not a v. scientific response I'm afraid but its all you can do.

Incidentally, I now have a pretty good sleeper but still have a v. early riser and I now know that to a degree I have to live with that but you shouldn't have to live with the no. of night time wakings you are getting - there has to be a solution, its just a case of finding it for your LO -GOOD LUCK!

Bean, look forward to your wise words about insomnia. Have never had it so really really struggle to understand all this.

Hope things are still getting better and better for you :-)

Oh Aldegirl, I'm so sorry. Things have just been hectic lately. I've been trying to find a new childminder/nanny for DD as I tried to settle her with a childminder about a month ago and it went horribly wrong. She just screamed and screamed (DD, not the childminder ) and I've had to put off going back to work for another month while I try to find someone who can deal with it and try and settle her as slowly and gently as possible. It's such a nightmare! I still haven't chosen someone although there are some good possibilities, and I'm feeling the pressure of time.

But - insomnia... It's a tricky one. I should apologise as my last post probably made it sound like I had some magic solution, but I'm afraid I don't. The usual things that are meant to help include (I'm sure you know these, but just in case): having bath and/or hot milky drink before going to bed (sounds very girly, I know!), always going to bed at night and getting up in the morning at the same time, in order to set your body clock (yeah right, very easy with a baby!), getting up if you've been lying awake for more than 30 mins and going to do something else (reading, watching something relaxing on TV), lavender oil on the pillow/in the bath (girly again). Also deep breathing - breathe in as far as you can, then out, in a steady rhythm. Unfortunately, none of these things really worked for me except occasionally the last one.

In the end the phase just passed, to the extent that I could be up in the night holding DD's hand for 2 hours while she screamed, then go straight back to sleep afterwards! But I've been a bit sleepless again the last couple of nights, even though DD's sleep is finally (I think) turning a real corner. Go figure, as they say. I hope by now, since I've been so rubbishly slow at posting, that your DH's insomnia has also passed. How is Aldebaby these days? Our Millpond advice has borne fruit, albeit slowly, and at the weekend we finally moved DD and her cot into her own room and decided that night we would do CC (a mere 2 months after starting this thread!). We psyched ourselves up something silly, and guess what? She cried for precisely 13 minutes before falling asleep till about 6am the next morning. Madness. The second night she woke for an hour at 3am, the 3rd and 4th nights she more or less slept through bar a couple of wakings for 10-15 minutes. Tonight she cried on and off for 30 mins before falling asleep, woke an hour later crying but put herself back to sleep within a minute. We're not doing full-on Ferber, going in every 5 mins instead of 5, 10, 15, and I reckon it might take a good couple of weeks to crack it properly, but things are so much better. 6 weeks ago she was sleeping in our bed, being fed to sleep at bedtime, then fed back to sleep up to a dozen times a night, sometimes after crying for hours... Now we have our bedroom back, our evenings back, our sanity. If anyone's reading this and despairing at their own baby's awful sleeping, and you're able to invest money in a solution (and I do think of it as an investment, for us and for DD), then go to Millpond - or Andrea Grace or the Sleep Lady, I'm sure they're good too. I just think once your baby's over 6 or 7 months and things are still hideous, it's got to be worth getting help. We'd never have got here on our own - we were just too upset, confused, exhausted. The sleep clinic gave us control and the ability to be clear-headed about what to do and how to do it. I'm sure there'll be setbacks to come (teething, illness, etc), but for now things are immeasurably better...

Aldegirl - have you gone? I'm sorry.

For anyone still reading, or who has stumbled upon this page, can I just say that 2 months after starting this thread having tried everything - and I mean EVERYTHING - else, we finally did controlled crying. It wasn't that bad. She cried for 13 mins the first night, but I think we got lucky. The next few nights she woke a few times and it was hard, but the longest she ever cried was for just over an hour. And by about night 4 or 5 she had stopped. A week later and so far she is sleeping 7.30pm-6.30am (or thereabouts) without waking (or only occasionally, and briefly). It's a miracle. Yes, she is under a year (9 months now) but I honestly don't feel that she's any the less happy or secure for it. We gave it a lot of thought and consideration, and we didn't go into it lightly, but if you're at the end of your tether and your baby is not still little (by which I mean under 6 or 7 months), AND if you feel it's the right thing for you and your baby - try it. It might turn your life around, as it seems to have done for us.

I haven't read through all the posts but can say that our dd was exactly, exactly the same with the night wakings.

From having tried a LOT of different things I can say that leaving 45 mins is probably too long as she is now getting hysterical.

This worked for me:

1. When you hear crying, go straight in the room, pick up and cuddle, rock, until quiet.

1. Don't say anything except 'shhhh, sshhhh'. At the risk of sounding Gina Fordesque (And I am NOT into Gina Ford) don't make eye contact - just cos then baby thinks it is playtime!

1. When baby is nice and calm and quiet and breathing normally (ie not sobbing) put her down and tuck in.

1. Even if she gets up / rolls / cries, just leave the room and close the door.

1. If baby's still crying then give it three minutes (no more!) then go back in and repeat steps 1-4.

I think the first few nights I did this about 15 times. We had got to the stage where dd needed to be cuddled to sleep by lying on my chest in our bed every night, which took up to 40 minutes, then was waking 4-5 times / night. It was horrible! I tried leaving her crying for a bit longer - horrible and also tried co-sleeping (well, we co-slept for a long time actually until she got wriggly and started getting up and sitting up in the middle of the night and playing).

I loved the 'three in a bed book' and do miss her sleeping with me but I was getting desparate and crying all the time as I was just soo sooo soo tired it was untrue. Thinking about it though I didn't do this until dd was nearly 12 months old as I had started work again and just couldn't cope as couldn't nap during the day. At 7 months I would think stick her in your bed. You'll all sleep better then. It's nice waking up cuddling her.

At 16 months dd now sleeps 12 hrs generally without waking (although was coughing and awake every two hrs last night so came into bed with me).

Good luck and let me know if this helps!

Hello hello bean I'm still here - but it's been a really hard few weeks (feels like months)and have just managed to get back onto Mumsnet. Thank you so much for all the insomnia tips - sad to say that DH had been following them all but it hadn't been working. It got so bad that I decided to take a long break at my parents' house abroad (where I am now) without DH and DH decided to quit the job that involved oncall and nightshifts. It really was that bad. Now Dh seems to be sleeping better, also thanks to a time with no waking baby next door, and I've been getting help from my folks. DH will come over in a week and hopefully thing will get easier for us from then.

Phew! Aldebaby is sleeping OK, now 7 months old,happy and BIG at almost 11kg, still waking one or two times a night for milk which means still no unbroken nights for me but can't face more cc alone without dh to help. Still pissed off that I'm the only one who could easily sleep 4 days straight but am not allowed to by wakeful males in my family! Gah!

I wanted to thank you also for starting up this thread (although I know you'd rather not have been so desperate and at the end of your tether!) - it has helped me in many ways.

Really really pleased for you that Millpond plus CC worked. It does sound as if your life has been transformed, hurray! Long may it continue.

to you

Aldegirl

Hi Aldegirl,

Oh no! I'm so sorry things have been such a nightmare. It sounds hideous. I'm glad the situation's got a bit better lately, though having to move abroad without your DH in order for things to get better is obviously far from an ideal solution. I bet you'll be glad when he joins you, and I hope you're all able to have a nice, restful time together for a while.

As for me - ha, well having come back on here all calm and smug about how great everything is, a few days later DD started teething in earnest, then got a really snotty cold (which she still has), so we are well and truly back to where we were weeks ago. At least she is still in her own bed in her own room, but she's waking up every virtually every night and one of us is sitting with her while she's awake, for an hour or two hours at a time. On the rare days she has slept through (ie. twice), she's compensated by waking up for the day at 5.30am. Aaaaaaarrrrgggghhhh.

I realised yesterday that we've been doing Millpond-led sleep training for nearly 9 weeks now, and in that time we've had precisely one week of her actually sleeping through. Granted, we did weeks of gentle stuff before we finally resorted to CC, but still. I'm exhausted. And so is DD, surely, since 10-month-olds are "supposed" to get about 13 hours total sleep in 24 hours, and her long nighttime wakings, coupled with her inability to nap for more than 2 half-hour sessions during the day, mean that she's getting 11 hours if she's lucky.

The two teeth which caused the initial trouble are now through (they were visible in her gums for ages, so we could see what was causing the pain), and her cold is getting better, so in a couple of days we will go back to a night or two of CC and hopefully, hopefully, things will be sorted again. I'm just terrified that it won't work, and maybe we just think that the crying was down to teeth and illness, and even when she's better the CC won't make any difference. And if that's the case, where the hell can we go from there?

Hi there Bean.

Did you go back to cc post teeth and cold? Did it work?

I SO know the sinking feeling of thinking "what next?!?", but so far with ds every single time I've felt I couldn't possibly carry on something improved. Hope that's true for you too.

I'm back in the UK now after 5 weeks away which really really helped me get rest and perspective. Dh has quit the job which involved nightshifts and on-calls and is sleeping better. Aldebaby is 8 months next weeks and has once, 2 nights ago, slept for 11 hours. He woke and squiggled about his cot for a bit a few times but went back to sleep. We couldn't believe it. I'm sure things will not stay perfect (and to prove me right last night he was up crying twice) - but I've realised that I can only keep hoping for little babysteps, one up 27 back, as it were. That shift in expectations made me feel better immediately.

Also, I stopped breastfeeding. Ds was a nightmare to bf from month 6 on, a biting squirming impatient eel of a baby. He wanted to bf all night though, even if he refused to lie down and snuggle in bed! Now he takes 240ml+ 2 or 3 times a day and the nightwakings immediately dropped. Not sure if you're bf or if you want to stop or anything, but here things got better as soon as I stopped the Boob. Although of course I now have to deal with guilt/sadness/sister in law who is a crazy extended bf mum who bf her son 'til he was 5 and says things like "oh, you're still holding out against taking your baby to snuggle and feed in bed with you?"

You can never win, eh?