Giving Up Dummy

[Becky77]

OK so I keep reading that the best time to get rid of a dummy is 12 weeks as after that they for dependancy or something! My DD is now 13.5 weeks and uses a dummy to settle herself to sleep only. What I want to know is how long it'll take to wean her off it... How horrible it'll be and is it worth it seeing as she only uses it for sleeping? Oh and how do you settle a baby without forming some other settling dependancy ie rocking, singing, patting?

Thoughts please... Thanks

If I had another DC, then I think I would definitely give the dummy again. There is no way that I could just leave a tiny baby to cry and cry at bedtimes. Also, dd was/is really sucky and if she had not had the dummy, she would have used my boob as a dummy.

Lunch nap - well, she went back to sleep for another 10 mins after she cried for 5mins (I stayed in with her). As I left, she stopped crying and that was when she slept for another 10 mins.

I expect it will take a while to sort it out.
She then slept in the car on the way to inlaws and on the way home.

Looks like we are all in agreement. I'd give a dummy again too... Our DD was very sucky as well and I had a complete nightmare with BF fo 10 weeks... Cracks and missing nipple skin that wouldn't heal for ages so yes even if I'd wanted to there was no way I could've let her comfort suck.

We had another massively successful night last night 6.30pm-3am-6.30am And now the first nap begins

@ TheGabster - my Mum passed away 6 years ago now but having a baby makes me miss her more again.

How annoying, I jut typed a message and it disappeared...

So sorry to hear about your mum Becky. That is hard. My best friend has the same situation.

We had another good night. Asleep at 6.50am, dream feed 11pm, woke crying at 4am for 1 min then back to sleep without me going in and up at 7am - I am almost beginning to feel human again! (She will no doubt recommence teething tomorrow).

She went down nicely for a nap 25 mins ago - who knows what she will do at lunch?

Morning nap = 1.5 hours! Funny how by sorting out her night sleep and lunctime nap the morning one seems to be growing... Still, cant complain

How many hours do you think is optimum during the day? You read so much conflicting information but with our LO it seems to be the more she gets the better... She cant seem to have too much or at least I havent found that point yet... But if she has less than 3 hours she definitely wakes more in the night.

@ Pudding25 - Yep it can be hard at times but at least I have MN to turn to for advice in the middle of the night

According to Gina Ford (I know lots of people hate but I think she gives some really good tips/routines as long as you don't stress too much over them) a baby of around our dc's ages needs max of 3 hrs daytime sleep or it can affect their night sleep.

If dd does ever manage 2hrs at lunch, I am going to cut her morning nap to 30 mins and afternoon nap to about 15 mins.

Yeah I have read that but I think some babies just need more sleep than others. I was working to the 3 hour rule but ending up getting more like 2.5... Now that she gets nearer 3.5 she's sleeping much better

If it works, don't stop it!

She slept for 50 mins at morning nap.
Went down 20 mins ago for lunch nap...

wow - sounds like you two are getting it sussed.

Totally agree Becky, if DS sleeps well at the first nap, he does brilliantly lunch time. Seems to need an hour. Not that he is doing anything like that at the moment.

Sounds good about the pm nap - DS dropped his around 4.5mnths and it worked great for ages, but we have had to reinstate it because he is dong so badly on day sleep now.

BUT - may have worked out why now. He started 'inch-bumming' yesterday! Yes, he is finally mobile - not crawling but is getting quite fast already on his bum so God help the dog! Big developmental stages often affect sleep in a negative way so hoping this is what has been causing all our problems.

So in an attempt to get him back on track we have tried new tactics today - made him have a second morning nap at 11.30 today in pushchair (20mins) and fed him lunch when he woke up instead. Hope it works. He is in bed for the lunch nap now - put him down at 1.15 and he is still burbling and screeching away in there so not convinced he is going to go down but will be interesting to see what happens.

Gabster - where do you live? It is only 12.50pm here????
That will be why his sleepinh has gone funny. Bum shuffling is so cute. My goddaughter never crawled, only bum shuffled (she's now 6.5).

DD has now been asleep for 55 mins.....She cried out a couple of times after 35mins and again after 50 mins. What will she do now???I bet she wakes as soon as I send this message!

Ours has been down for almost 45 minutes fingers crossed

Well she cried a bit but I just went in and shhhhed next to the cot and she went back down

She has now been in there for 1hr, 15mins. Every few mins, I get one cry out, then all goes quiet. Think she probably cries out then shoves her fingers back in...

Maybe we are sending our kids sleeping vibees by posting here!

Haha maybe

well then roll on more vibes please. My blasted Darling son decided not to go to sleep at all. Went in to find he had been sick (not unusual in this house as refluxy baby) and filled his nappy . He last for 20m playing and he is back in bed and soundly asleep thank the Lord.

Pudding - I live in Southern Germany. Munich in fact - which is where they have Octoberfest if you have ever heard of it. Which started yesterday incidentally. And yes, we are one hour ahead of you lot. Which is a bummer because it means DS never gets to see ITNG (we have a satelite dish)- although I have been known to watch it once he has gone done! He he

DD managed 2 hours in the end in shock

Gabster - At least you've worked out why his sleeps up the spout... How long do those disruptions usually last?

Would you take a teddy bear away?

A teddy bear doesn't cause a baby to wake several times in the night though does it?

...or prevent them from being able to take decent length naps in the day...

Did you read the thread SmugColditz? If you had you'd see the massively positive effect giving up a dummy has had on our DCs.

yes. I also remember having my dummy taken from me though, so this colours my judgement.

I loved my dummy. I do realise that actually it's better to takle it before they love it like I did.

Gabster - my DH went to Octoberfest when he was travelling years ago-loved it! Does he have reflux medicine? Have you tried taking him out in pram when he doesnt sleep to try and get him to nap?
DD woke up 2 mins after my last message! We went straight out in the car and she slept in the car and I transferred her straight into the pram to walk her and she slept for another 40 mins - just need her not to have that break!

smugcolditz what one earth has a teddy got to do with anything? By taking away a dummy when they are so young, there is no way they will remember it. I don't know how old you were when you had your dummy taken away but surely, by what you have said, it is far better to take it away when they are tiny babies??? As Becky said, a teddy does not disturb their sleep.

Hey all - just about to go to bed. Exhausted.

Just wanted to say well done you!

Becky, that is great news, I am so pleased for you. The power of the shhhh!!

And Pudding, you are so lucky she falls asleep in the car/pushchair - mine is really hard work in this respect. Just about manage the pushchair but forget the car. Practically impossible these days. But theoretically, so they say, you only need to keep it up for a few days and they fall into the pattern so you only need to do it a few times hopefully. Is it this 45m thing that stumps you? How old is your DD?

Right, bed. Tomorrow is another day and another opportunity to convince my son to nap properly.

G

She sometimes goes to 50 mins! She is 4mth 1 wk. She is not too great at sleeping in the car (she likes to howl sometimes - caused a 4 car pile-up because of it the other week-but that is another story ).

Waiting for DH to get home from work so he can do dreamfeed and I can go to bed.

Yup, tomorrow is another day...Just hoping tonight is non-eventful!

Morning!

Well last night was a little more wakeful... Although she did self settle so not sure exactly when ... All I remember is feeding her at 3am and then waking up at 7.10am and her still being asleep. Not sure if maybe she had too much naptime yesterday (4 hrs 10 minutes)? I wonder when she'll be able to go from her long lunchtime nap until bedtime? Do you have to try and edge or the other naps a bit later?

How were both of your nights?

We had a great night...she went to bed at 6.40pm, dreamfeed at 11pm and up at 7am! I still can't believe it is happening and waiting for it to stop.

Maybe 4hrs, 10 mins was a bit too much!! One wake up at 3am isnt bad though.

I think once they are doing a 2hr lunch nap, and they are around 5 mths, then the morning nap can be about 30/45 mins and the afternoon nap about 15mins, gradually phasing out the afternoon nap by the time they are 6 mths.

Off to look at a mursery now for when I go back to work in Jan

MORNING!

Gloat Gloat! Our night was also a bit noisy, but also could not rouse myself - Have a stonker of a cold/sore throat. But my darling LO decided to make me feel better and sleep 'till 8am this morning!!! wooohoooo. Thats from 7pm last night - count them girlies 13 .... yes 13 glorious hours of sleep for my LO.

Gloating over, I'm not sure if you can say 4 hrs was too much Becky, it depends when it all was. She is still having the PM nap right? I found DS just was harder and harder to get down for it before he dropped it, and we usually took it in the pushchair and he just stopped really so we stopped encouraging it. Yes, did find he then went down much easier in the evening and slept sounder so could be that. I would say at 4mnths if he is sleep 2hrs or more lunch time, he should start cutting back on it by himself. But your DD is still going down quite earlyin the evening, right? My policy now is starting to be, Gena Ford really helped me get started and was great guide to go by, but now I do not really want to wake my baby. If he needs the sleep, let him have it. After all, she only says what worked best for most babies she looked after. Even she admits there are always exceptions to the rule!

Having said that, probably should not have put DS down 1.5hrs after waking this am though despite the definite yawn and eye rub(although this has been the norm for the past 10 days) as he has just taken 1/2 hour to settle so a bit nervous whether he will sleep lunchtime but will have to see.

Pudding, it does sound like it could be the changing into next sleep cycle thing - anything from 30-45 mins usually but could be 50m. Just keep at it - I think most babies get over it sometimes between 4&6 months?

Ooooh - I feel like I'm going to have a fab day today - even though it is lousy outside (7 degress and about to rain by look of it).

Hows the morning naps going girlies?