Giving Up Dummy

[Becky77]

OK so I keep reading that the best time to get rid of a dummy is 12 weeks as after that they for dependancy or something! My DD is now 13.5 weeks and uses a dummy to settle herself to sleep only. What I want to know is how long it'll take to wean her off it... How horrible it'll be and is it worth it seeing as she only uses it for sleeping? Oh and how do you settle a baby without forming some other settling dependancy ie rocking, singing, patting?

Thoughts please... Thanks

I just put her down her cot, normally I use her moses basket in her cot... She whinged a bit but settle herself in a couple of minutes fingers crossed

Her naps yesterday were 1.5 hours in the morning, 2 hours at lunch and then 40 minutes in buggy in the park in the afternoon. I agree I dont really want to wake her but maybe I shouldn't have resettled her half way through her morning nap... But when I went in she was crying with her eyes shut and all she needed was a little shhh and she was off again.

Congratulations on the 13 hours Gabster!! Whoop whoop!

@ Pudding25 - Urhhh poor you having to think about nurseries... I'm meant to be going back 2 days a week at the beginning of March but I'm burying my head in the sand about it

Really have to get off mumsnet and got to this nursery. DD went down for morning nap at 9.10am. All quiet still!
Well done on 13 hrs sleep gabstet!

Bbecky - just replied to your moses basket question. Good luck with the move. Just go for it. We still had the dummy when we moved her. I don't think that helped the situation - we were also moving her fromm our room to hers for her night sleep. Is that what you have done? Or was she in her own room at night too?
I am going now...

OOoh I missed the bit about nursery, sorry!!

Sympathise as supposed to have gone back to work already but hard to find daycare before 12months here so have managed to put it off!! Mind you, earn a pittance and self-employed so no motivation there either.

Just got to pop out wit dog (ds awake) but if dd issleeping ok lunch-time (2hrs is def ok) then think 1.5 in am is OK??

Back in abit xxx

G

Nope the cotbed is in our room for now so literally the only change is removing the moses basket... She's been down for 20 minutes... If she makes it to 45 I may try again for the lunch nap... But then again I may chicken out!

Oh Becky, good stuff. But just go for it. Stick to the day naps for now, then after a few days dont bother witht he basket, put her strait in the cot. If that works, then do the nights too.

Took us 2 days sleeps in cot (from crib) and then DS was fine in evening. You just have to suck it and see!

We are now trying to get him to sleep in travel cot ready for our trip home. But I am sitting here telling you to go for it, knowing damn well I am too scared to put DS down for day nap in travel cot just yet.

LOL

Haha...

Well she managed an hour and 10 minutes in the cot (she was already in the moses basket in the cot) with a bit of self settling at 45 minutes... Hmmmmmmm do I risk it at lunch time?? I think I'm gonna be brave and go for it. And maybe if she manages over an hour and a half I may just go for it tonight... If it's a complete disaster I can always put her back in her moses basket eh?

I would go for it lunch time and see, but maybe do day naps again tomorrow before doing the evening if it was me. Only because I really dont like anything to jeopardise that evening bedtime!

By the way, do you do a dream feed around 11? Am I right in thinking you also then do a night feed around 3am?

If so, this may be why your DD sleeps 6.30 to 6.30 and still needs more than the 3 or so hours recommended day sleep - she has to make up for the missed night sleep?? Just a thought.

G

Nope she just has a feed at 3am and it takes about 20mins max. I think shes just a sleepy baby Just about to put her down for lunchtime nap !!

Good luck - hope it goes well in the Cot.

P.S. Just read your other post. My tip would be put her in the cotbed a few times throughout the day just to play with a few toys.

You don't think that would confuse her? I guess as long as the light is on she'd know the difference.

I've just put her down... About 2 minutes grumbling and now gone quiet fingers crossed

How's your lunchtime nap going?

OOoh - sounds like she goes down lovely now. Mine seems to be taking a long time these days, not sure why.

He is still asleep which is good. We are just coming up to 45m so I am getting the jitters. At least it is better than 30m he has had the last few days .

Dog is getting restless so I think I will have to sit on him in a minute!!!

I think the play think works because it familiarises them with the surroundings and they link the situation to positive feelings (happy play) but I am now being preachy as my husband says so will stop it immediately. Just know that it works for us.

Had to get DS used to small travel crib when went away in caravan and he went through a stage of hating the pushchair a little while back and on both counts found putting him there just for play (hung toys and books off his pushchair) seemed to help loads.

Am now doing it with big travel tent/cot we bought a few weeks ago ready for next trip. Still have not got courage to leave toys in cot like friends do though. I know they say that it means early wake-ups just end in DCs playing rather than screaming for attention but I don't want to encourage my DS to wake up early to play!!!

Well I'm always up for a bit of useful advice... And Im as bad about preaching from what I've learnt... Particularly blacking out your windows and now giving up the dummy

She has always gone in her cot to watch her mobile, which she loves, so I think she does have those positive associations. I just stopped doing it when I started her daytime naps in there incase in confused her.

sounds like a good plan to me - I reckon its important to seperate day from night.

Well, DS has just woken but trying to ignore I have noticed this as he is not crying, just groaning and bit and may go back off

Know what you mean about the windows and totally agree - makes huge difference.

Will you move DD into her own room once she is OK in the cotbed or wait for 6m? We used to put DS down in his own room, and move him into ours after his dream feed.

We'll keep her in with us until 6 months I think. It's only another 2.5 months of creeping around. I think I'll feel quite sad when she goes into her own room.

Do you have a monitor on all night or do you just hear him when he's crying for you?

Oh and she just woke up at 45 minutes but I've left her to resettle... It took her around 10 minutes though Definitely not going as well as it was in the moses basket so I don't know whether to risk it tonight or not... I'm worried if I put her back in the basket tonight then she'll never get used to the cot... Cold turkey may be the quickest most painless way to go? Thoughts?

Did he go back off?

Hi, you are both doing well with the naps! We had dd playing in the cotbed before we put her in it to sleep to get her used to it. Until 13 wks, she would have her day naps in the basket in the cotbed and then go into our room in the basket from about 11pm.
At 13 weeks, we put her into the cotbed in her room. A couple of days just naps and then went for it. I think she was better than me. I hardly slept for a month!

Just been to see a fab nursery. So don't want to go back in Jan. She won't even be 8mths old - but we need the money. The waiting list is huge.

DD slept 45 mins in the morning and has now been asleep for 1hr 20min.....Just heard a murmur though.

How did you black out the windows? We have got a venetian blind with a blackout blind over it and a towel at the top so it is pretty dark but even darker would be better!

I've just used binbags in our room tramp because we've got a big bay window and she'll be moving into her own room in a couple on months... darker would better for me too!!

Arghhh well DD has woken 3 times in the last hour and 20 minutes... Don't know whether to go cold turkey or not tonight...

Go for it! You may as well get it over and done with as otherwise you will just drag it out. At least she is in your rom so if she wakes, you can just lean over and pat her.

DD slept for 1hr 40 mins at lunchtime.

Will she do it again tomorrow though?

She had 30 min nap in the car on the way home from a friend's.

Hope you have all had good afternoons.

I would leave as is for now Becky, another night or two. Give her a chance to get used to it with her day naps which aren't so important, then go for the nights.

Love the binbags. I made my mum bring me out blackout lining (can't get it here) when they drove out to see us in March. Used the sowing machine to back our curtains (I sleep better now anyway) but have kind of velcro'd it to the window in DSs room for now. Better for all the cracks of light then backing a curtain IYSWIM. We kept DS in with us until 6m too. But it is lovely when you get your bedroom back! We did a gradual thing because he was in the sidecar whilst I was breastfeeding, then seperated it into a stand-alone crib when we had to use bottles etc.

about going back to work Pudding. But at least if the nursery is nice .... are you going back full-time?

DS is now jumping for his life in the door bouncer (religious part of our bed-time routine). Better go and get the bath ready. Good luck for bed-time everyone.

Hi, can someone please give me some advice. My ds (5.5mo) uses a dummy just in bed. I put him down awake and give him a dummy (along with musical mobile thingy). He'll chew on his dummy for a bit but almost always spits it out before going to sleep. His naps in the day usually last about 1.5hours and don't require me to give him the dummy part-way through, but at night he always wakes a few times. I use the dummy then to quickly settle him back to sleep, but after reading this post I'm wondering if it's having the dummy in the first place which is making him wake up IFSWIM?

Do you think if I stop the dummy he'll eventually stop waking several times in the night (usually starts about 3.00am and then gets progressively more frequent) or would he wake anyway and the dummy is just a useful tool to get him back off to sleep? As usual I just don't know what to do for the best!! Also, without a dummy how did you get your dc back off to sleep? (Apologies if this has already been covered, I skim read with a wriggly baby on my lap!).

Thanks,

Hi Ellipop, is your DS getting any night feeds? What's his bed time? It might be that he's hungry by 3am and if you're not feeding him the dummy settles him but he'll keep waking for a feed? My LO is only 15 weeks but I've read that they still need 1 night feed up until they're on solids and even beyond.

It doesn't sound like the dummy is disturbing his sleep too much if he sleeps from 7pm (guessing) until 3am.

If you do want to get rid of it its easier to do sooner rather than later. If he's not falling asleep with it in his mouth he probably knows how to self settle so when he wakes, if he's not hungry, he'll probably cryout for a short time (no more than 5 minutes) before going back to sleep. If you dont want to leave him to do that you can pick him up and hold him or just pat and shhhh him but it is quicker for them to let them settle themselves.

Hope that helps a bit

I've put DD back in the moses basket tonight... She's had quite a lot of changes in the last week (dummy and longer naps) so I thought it better to take it slowly. I'll follow Gabsters advice and do daytime naps in the cot for a few more days I reckon... I was tempted to just go for it Pudding but she had a miserable afternoon so I couldnt bring myself to do it

Hi Ellibop - welcome to dummies-r-not-us!

Hey becky, you sound sad. Silly, look at what you have achieved in the last week! If you feel your LO has been through a lot today then take it slow.

And to answer earlier thread (was too busy, sorry) yes, we have the monitor by the bed, even though DS is in the next room. Partly because we keep his door tightly shut what with dog and stuff, and partly because I like to check he is still breathing in the middle of the night (yes, you can hear it on the monitor, I am that obsessive ) and the room temperature etc. I know, I am a saddo. I wake up even when he just makes a murmur so seldom get more than 3hrs straight, even though he does not need me/self settles. Suspect I will stay this way for a while yet. You can imagine what I was like at 7.58am this morning when there were still no sounds from his bedroom!!!!

Thanks. I've just put him to bed awake and didn't bother giving him his dummy and he was asleep in 5 minutes without crying. He's already on solids a little bit, but maybe you're right, maybe he's starting to feel a bit hungry in the early morning. Don't really want to go down the route of night feeds again though and as a dummy settles him he can't be too hungry or he wouldn't accept a dummy. Will see how we get on tonight, perhaps a few disturbances in the night are still to expected at this age..??

Perhaps I should leave him to whinge a little bit when he does wake, my only concern is that it disturbs dh who has a very early start and a long drive to work, and also that if ds wakes up properly it can be very difficult to get him back to sleep. I'm planning on moving him into his own room in the next few weeks so that might help as I won't be able to hear every little whimper and he won't be able to hear dh's snoring!

To be honest Ellibop - we had the same problem with the dummy. It would settle DS when he started to wake from 5am - even though he wanted the bottle - but it ended up becoming a dependency and that was the beginning of the end for the dummy for us. Must say DS does still wake up sometimes around 4.30/5am and again at 6 but settles again quite quickly without any aid .

Has it been a fairly recent thing? Only my DSs sleep definitely got more disturbed (I think of the nappy variety), when we started weaning. Plus there is a nasty growth spurt around 6mn.

Must admit, it is easier to ignore the "noises" when they are in the next room´. You know, those winges and chirps they make like the current favourite for my DS, blowing raspberries for 50m at 3am! If I know he is ok but just being noisy, I turn the volume down on the monitor!! Bliss.

Hello everyone and welcome Elibop!

I am hopefully going back part-time gabster - am a teacher and will shoot myself if they make me go back full-time! Far too much work and stress...

When we moved dd into her own room, I started having the monitor next to me. Every time she moved, I woke up. I literally was not sleeping at all. So stopped putting it on and left the bedroom door open. Our place is small so I can easily hear her.

Elibop - sounds like he is waking for the dummy. If he is getting solids and lots of milk during the day, he probably won't need a feed during the night. Are you bf or bottle feeding?
Becky - dont blame you for not going for it. Take it at the pace that feels best for you. You are doing great!