Giving Up Dummy

[Becky77]

OK so I keep reading that the best time to get rid of a dummy is 12 weeks as after that they for dependancy or something! My DD is now 13.5 weeks and uses a dummy to settle herself to sleep only. What I want to know is how long it'll take to wean her off it... How horrible it'll be and is it worth it seeing as she only uses it for sleeping? Oh and how do you settle a baby without forming some other settling dependancy ie rocking, singing, patting?

Thoughts please... Thanks

After having a really good nap this morning with LO waking up in a better mood than he has woken up with in a long time, we ended up spending the afternoon at the hospital. Our LO has had a rash on his cheek and this morning it looked slightly worse so we took him to the pharmacist who told us to go straight to the hospital as it looked infected. We had to wait for ages and the poor little thing ended up so overtired as he really battled to fall asleep (he doesn't like falling asleep in our arms anymore and I think he hasn't quite got used to falling asleep in his pram without his dummy). It was very testing and I ended up having a really good cry in the car on the way home as I felt like I was being really cruel by taking the dummy away from him when he might be feeling uncomfortable from the rash. I decided that I would give it to him if he couldn't settle this evening, however, after a bit of soothing he went right to sleep and we haven't heard a peep since. As my hubby has just said, we may feel cruel taking it away from him but if it makes him sleep better then it is definitely for the best.

Maria - I am not going to say that we haven't had any tears since getting rid of the dummy but there have been far less than I thought there were going to be. I was really nervous about doing it and have put it off for the last 3 weeks. I have had to help our LO find his fingers (I normally hold his arm for the first few mins when we put him down and stroke his head) and as soon as he has started sucking he has been absolutely fine. The biggest sign that we were doing the right thing has been the fact that when he has started grizzling, he has been able to soothe himself back to sleep (and this is only our second day). This would never ever have happened with the dummy. I have also not thrown away the dummies, which has helped me as I have known all along that if it really did get too much, I would be able to give one to him. This may not work for everyone but it has made me feel in control!

PS: forgot to mention that it might also be worth reading Baby Secrets which I found really useful. The spaced soothing really works for our LO as we don't ever let him get really worked up but also leave him to try and settle himself (you have to wait before going into the room to make sure he really needs soothing and more often than not, he stops crying before we get to him). We found that PUPD just infuriated him and he didn't stop crying so we couldn't get to the PD! I think it completely depends on the baby.

@ Maria - My advice for getting rid of the dummy without crying or at least very little is to start with his morning nap, make sure he is really full and tired then hold him until his eyes are drooping before putting him down... If he cries pick him up and shhhhh pat him before putting him down again and repeat, perhaps leaving in his cot and just shhhh patting. After a few times he should self settle... Once he's learnt to do that once you'll find it's easier for you both to just put him down and leave the room... he'll probably whinge for a couple of minutes but that'll be it... If it goes on longer go in and check... 100% of the time with my DD it ends up being trapped wind!

I know it's scary to go cold turkey but it is the best way to go... if you start in the morning by night time you should be OK but if you do need to just feed him to sleep...

You're probably already doing this but my other tips are: make sure the room is as dark as possible and always do exactly the same routine ie I take my DD in with the light already off and sing twinkle twinkle while I put her sleeping bag on then I kiss her on the forehead and say "go to sleep darling"... apparently it helps them to know what's coming next!

Good luck

The thing to remember as well is that you are doing a really good thing by getting rid of the dummy... So any whinging will be worth it... they sleep much longer and wake up happy and cooing... My DD never used to do that whilst she had the dummy but will now happily lie cooing in her cot for half an hour in the morning... Its wonderful if she's woken up too early, I can just let her get on with it while I doze until 7am