Giving Up Dummy

[Becky77]

OK so I keep reading that the best time to get rid of a dummy is 12 weeks as after that they for dependancy or something! My DD is now 13.5 weeks and uses a dummy to settle herself to sleep only. What I want to know is how long it'll take to wean her off it... How horrible it'll be and is it worth it seeing as she only uses it for sleeping? Oh and how do you settle a baby without forming some other settling dependancy ie rocking, singing, patting?

Thoughts please... Thanks

ermmm .... do you want him to go to sleep in the car or just be calm?

When our DS was the same age in June we went on a touring holiday with the caravan so I know what you mean, but we found that he just burbles to himself and plays with his toys in the car now. I figured his crying and fussing in the car was just his way of asking for the dummy to be honest, but I suppose we will never know. Hope this is how it goes for you.

However, we live in Germany and are hoping to go "home" to Wales for a few days next month and I was dreading the plane journey for similar reasons - but I have a plan! DS has one of those soft toy comforter things with corners for him to suck which I put him to bed with so I am taking that with in the hope it will calm him, together with his "horsey", a small toy he seems to have become attached to so if I wish you luck ..... etc.

Have to dash for now but will log on again later to see how your naps went. Chin chin

G

We'd want her just to be calm if awake... She doesnt have a problem falling asleep in the car Mind you she's just passed the hour mark on her morning nap so perhaps we're seeing the benefits of no dummy already

DD is just starting to put toys in her mouth so perhaps the time is also right to bring out the soft comforter? Probably way too young ATM though!

Ooooh she did an hour and 25 minutes with no resettling

Oh you are so jammy!

Despite having been awake only 1h 10mins and convinced I had caught my DS in time (before overtired), he still only slept 30m this morning. Grrrrr. Still, he went down a dream for his lunchtime nap, much better than he has for days - 40m so far and counting !! Mind you Thursday is usually a good day - we have baby group in the morning so it always tuckers him out.

So glad you are having a better day today Becky. Let me know how he got on with the next nap later.

G

I've been jammy again! I put her down at 11.40am and she didn't even cry... I couldn't believe it! Then she woke up after 40 minutes so I went in and just shhhhed her and she grizzled a bit, shoved her fingers in her mouth and went back to sleep for 40 minutes! I always knew there was a good sleeper in there waiting to come out!

Right I'm off out to meet a mummy and baby friend. Will probably have to do afternoon nap in the buggy fingers crossed

How long did your LO last?

Excellent - really good stuff.

Mine did not do too bad - hour and a half, best for a while so can't complain. Must be something in the air.

X

G

She did the waking after an hour of being put down for the night thing again tonight... Do you reckon it's related to loosing the dummy? I guess it must be but I can't see the logic as she doesnt get a dummy when she goes down as she's fed to sleep

Are you sure it was an hour and not around 45 mins? Could well just be the moving from one cycle of sleep to the next. Did you have to go to him, or did he manage it on his own?

Don't forget you are changing all the rules he has learnt over the last few months. He is going to take a little while to adjust. This is only the end of day 2, and I would see how he goes for the rest of the night before you judge.

She's a she and yes it would be 45 minutes... I did have to got her again but she only did it once tonight rather than the twice she did it yesterday.

I just dont get why that bit of sleep is being effected as it doesn't normally involve a dummy at all... But I guess it all has a knock on effect and she may just be more unsettled than usual due to the change

I'm definitely going to leave it a few days and see how things go... cant believe how well things have gone so far.

Ooooh sorry have a DS so ... you know what it's like.

Definite improvement from last night then so there you go!

I think the way it works is that she is used to being assisted through the transition bit from one sleep cycle to the next, but now she has to learn how to do that on her own.

We had this with DS and I must admit this was a hard one. The first night we thought he might have wind and went running in there and it took us 10 mins to realise we were making it worse and left the room. The second night we left him to it (took 5 mins), the third night was more of a winge than a cry, and the fourth night was the clincher - not a peep!

He still always makes "noises" around 10pm - in fact,as I am one hour ahead of you, we have just had the groans! Like clockwork. But it is just a "brief awakening" and he sorts himself out - even the dog ignores it now (he used to get all worried and come to "tell" us DS was in distress - ).

my ds nearly 3 and has dummy (only for sleeptime) he would gladly. have it all day if I let him.
Funny tonight I said to him, "your a big boy now we will have to give your dummy away as you don't want to get goofy teeth like a rabbit".
He started crying and said Mummy I don't want to turn into a bunny rabbit. Bless I felt rubish then, but it was funny.
I didnt know whether to laugh or cry.
really need to get shut of it soon.

Oh my God she slept straight through from her waking episode at 7pm (she went to bed ridiculously early!) until 3am!! She hasnt done that since she was 9 weeks old. Now I cant get back to sleep Im too excited I've had 6 hours solid sleep!

@ Gabster - I'll see how it goes tonight with the 45 minute waking. Tonight was definitely more or a whinge than last night which was a full on overtired scream. The rate she's going I suspect she may just sort herself out. I can't believe how well she's done

@ lemonlady - Awww poor little thing. Perhaps a visit from the dummy fairy will cheer him up?

Hey Becky

Sounds like you have nearly cracked it to me! Just in time for the weekend too. Think of all that lovely sleep you have ahead of you - until the next problem of course!!

Unfortunately, we are not going so well on the sleep front in this house today. Part dog induced, part DS. But its Friday!! Sun is out (even though its about 8 degrees brrrr), DH should be home from work soon (POETS day), and we are going to do something nice today.

Will Keep my fingers crossed for you for tonight, but somehow don't think you are going to need it!

Haha exactly... Just got it sorted and now I'm dreading the 16 week jabs... Motherhood is like a very very long hurdle race

She's going down for her naps so easily now as well. I don't even have to wait until her eyes are shutting... I just sing a little song whilst I put her in her sleeping bag, put her down and leave... She whinges for about a minute and then silence... So glad I decided to get rid of the dummy it's made so much difference. I knew there was a good sleeper in there trying to get out! She's such an unbelievably placid baby. Thanks for all you help

I hope you have a nice day out. I'm off to meet some friends and have a stroll when she wakes up

Not a peep at 45 minutes into sleep tonight

Hey - sorry for not replying sooner - had an absolutely awful nap day today. But at least it meant DS went down early so more of an evening (although suspect it will mean an early morning too - sigh).

Well, it sounds like you are sorted then ..... how fab ... until the jabs I suspect like you say. That is when it is tempting to give in too. Although have to say two months down the line we had a particularly horrible day with DS a week or so ago. I totally freaked and tried to give him the dummy out of desperation and he flat refused it!! Mind you, he is just about at the sucking his thumb stage now so suspect that will take over soon.

So, now you just have the problem of holding your tongue when everybody tells you how cruel you are for depriving your LO of the comfort and security of a dummy .

Awww sorry your napping went so badly wrong

I'm so looking forward to getting these last set of jabs out of the way! Urghhh but I can't bear to go through it again with her... Poor little thing... They're so horrible aren't they?!

As for giving in down the line I don't think I will... I'm stubborn with a capital C I do feel a little nostalgic for the dummies though

Well done Becky It makes such a difference doesnt it. We got rid of DD's dummy a few days before her last lot of jabs and were worried but she was fine (and slept really well that night and the next day).

Now we have got her night sleep sorted, we are trying to work on the lunch nap.

I am nostalgic too - I had it all -dummy bag, summy steriliser, dummies of every different colour....but there is no going back!

Awww we had such posh dummies too (NUK ones) with the special holder... She loved them... All the other dummies were too big and squished her nose

I'm totally shocked by how much difference it has made.

Does your DD not resettle in the middle of her lunch nap then? Ours has managed it a couple of times since giving up dummy but it is still a bit shakey... Unfortunately we're out tomorrow so that will probably throw her off a bit

She has only once done a full lunch nap - the day after her last lot of injections!

At the moment, she does 45 mins, has a break of about 50 mins and then will have another 30/40 mins (usually in the pram as I need to get out the house).

Going to start trying to extend the lunch nap as of today. I think it is quite common at this age to have lunch nap problems. The plan is that once she wakes after 45mins, leave her for 5 mins, go in for 5 mins, leave for 5 mins and see if she falls asleep. If not, get her up and try again tomorrow. Someone told me to try this and said it might take a week or so but she should then start extending past 45 mins. I hope so. It would be great for her to get thr sleep and I could have a good break.

Definitely... Sounds like a good plan. Our LO just did a 1.5 hour morning nap so not sure how long she'll manage at lunchtime. It does seem to be the holy grail of baby sleeping!

Good Luck

Hey Becky - LOL at the squished nose!

We had a terrible day yesterday, but things seem to be going a bit better today. Always feel more positive when DH is here for support. Thats whats so brill about MN, 'cos its really hard out here with no family. But having said that, my sister makes a point of ringing me nearly every day, bless her (she has two DCs).

By the way, no my dog can in no way be described as a little yapper. He looks like this. Yes, my dog has his own webpage - the spoilt brat .

Pudding - that sounds like a great plan on the lunch-time naps. Think I am going to nick it!!

You know, this thread is really cheering me up because Its just so nice to find other people who see advantages in ditching the dummy, instead of thinking I am mental for it!!

When I said I was ditching it, my mum said oh no, give it to her (this is from a woman who had to get the dr to give me sleeping pills when I was 3 as I would run around the house playing at 2am....I take her advice with a pinch of salt).

Not sure what dd is up to at the moment. She slept for 35 mins, cried out, went quiet for 5mins, cried out, quiet for 2 mins and now crying. Think I will give it 5 mins of crying from now. I hate hearing her cry but I know it is only for a few mins and if she can get a proper lunch nap sorted, it will really be good for her.

I think that every time it goes quiet, she is sticking her finger (dummy substitute) in her mouth!

How'd it go in the end Pudding25?

What a gorgeous dog @ The Gabster! We had an Alsatian growing up. They're such lovely animals! And so true about Mumsnet... God knows how women coped before the internet! My Mum has passed away so I don't have anyone to hand down their pearls of wisdom! My sister has just moved really near me though and she's pregnant for the first time so we can sit and chat about babies all day long!

Funny you should say you feel more positive at the weekends. I guess I do feel more positive but DD's napping is disrupted a little as she doesn't want to go to sleep if she has something other than my boring face to look at

I don't see how people couldn't see advantages in ditching the dummy... It has such positive effects! I dont regret using it in the beginning though. It does work well when they are tiny tiny. I just guess when you see it's gone beyond comfort into disturbing their sleep it's time to stop

Hey, hope it went OK at lunchtime pudding. Must have been better than us - 30m in the end!! Yet another disasterous day. Need to hear your good news to keep me positive.

Yes, I get something similar from my mum. "Why do you want to get rid of the dummy - just give it to him". "What's wrong with him having all his day naps in the pram/pushchair" (when walking streets for hours a day to get him to sleep lunch-times), "You really need to wean him now" (at 3 months) etc. etc. .

Sorry to hear about your mum, Becky. I hope it wasn't too recent. Its horrible to loose someone close. How lurverly to have your sister nearby though. And doing baby stuff together is fab. My sister and I were pregnant at the same time too.

Like you say, I am glad I gave DS the dummy - or rather the hospital did! He was such a hungry baby it was a necessity, and we had a very stressful time at the beginning with BFing going horribly wrong (had CS) and then reflux meant he did not gain weight for ages. But when it starts being detrimental, it has to go.

QUESTION - If you have another DC would you both give the dummy at the beginning again, or not bother???!!!