Nearly five years of broken sleep and struggling to cope

[Ginagogo]

Just need to vent. Almost 5 years of having almost no sleep. 1st DD was a terrible sleeper, started to improve around 3.5 but by that point DD 2 was born and while she wasn’t too bad as a tiny baby, she’s almost 2 now and horrendous. Sleeps 3 hours and after that is awake every hour till morning, often we can’t leave the room even when we think she’s asleep. We’ve tried everything. 5 yo still wakes up at least twice a night and often comes in our bed

I can’t cope every night like this. I dread going to bed and I feel like I’m just on autopilot miserable and wishing the days away

when they are babies people tell you it gets better but no one says it might not!

I think I’m going to try a toddler bed with a nice duvet cover etc and see how we get on 🤞🏻 I didn’t really consider the cot might be the issue

We survived by tag teaming and mattress on the floor in child’s room but really wished I’d just put the mattress in our room and they could have had it instead or DH or I on the floor mattress in DDs room. When she was under 3, I would try fo sleep 7pm-10pm with ear plugs and DH would be on duty then we’d swap and I’d be on duty 10-4am then we’d swap again if I’d had shit night. Just knowing I could have 2x 3hrs when I wasn’t “on duty” saved me. This was my eldest child it lasted 6years, she’s alway been higher energy competed in sport up to a national level, worked p/t and trained 15hrs all through college now ready for University to train for what will be a physical job. Still needs lots of exercise and mental stimulation. Second child slept through the night aged one. Same parenting just kids wired very differently. Do whatever you need to do to
survive this stage it will pass but may take some time. Both it turns out are ND in different ways but amazing young women. Good luck

Have you tried cutting out/down screen time? We have a nearly 2 year old. We stopped letting him watch tv on Friday, he's like a different child and hasn't got even a little upset about bedtime since.

Well what are the other options? Let the kid run rings round you? Most of us have jobs to go to, cars to drive safely, other kids to look after. And when it is done properly it doesn’t take weeks. And it isn’t a baby. This child is 2

What do you mean by "they won't go"?

Earlier in bed time is easy, but keeping them in bed is hard. The whole lot of you sound chronically over tired.

Drop the 2yo nap now. Get everyone bathed and in bed consistently by 7pm for 2 weeks with rapid return to bed for twatting around. They can read in bed, that's it. Anything else and there's a return to bed. Stickers every morning for anyone who stays in bed. 10 stickers = a toy.

When I had my ds1 I thought I’d be sleep deprived for 6 months then it’d be easy. In reality disturbed nights are common, normal even until 5+.

It is relentless. My ds2 slept through from age 6 weeks then stopped sleeping at age 1. I don’t think he slept through again until he was 3. It was horrendous. I became a single parent at around this time and I came up with a rule. Controversial but I made them go to sleep in their own bed but allowed them to come into my bed if they woke up after 11pm AND went back to sleep. Obviously a 2 year old has limited understanding of this but by age 3-4 they will start to get it. Frankly I was too exhausted and traumatised by the break up to bother doing anything more. Slowly but surely ds2 would carry on waking in the night but he learnt to go back to sleep next to me. Not long after that he’d come into my room himself and I didn’t even need to wake up. He did that probably every night until he was 4 then it started becoming less frequent until he was around 6 and he stayed in his own bed all night every night. He just outgrew the need for it without any input from me. Once in a blue moon he will come in now at age 8 but the only time I am woken is when a cat has taken over their beds!

My daughter was a nightmare, would wake me up several times in the night. I once begged the locum Dr to give me something to help her sleep, I couldn’t stand it anymore, the Dr said it was all down to routine and tire her out in the day. I did loads with her, swimming, go to the park, walking the dog, it was exhausting on little sleep.

Fast forward to her now being 30 and just got a diagnosis of ADHD 🤦‍♀️, which explains a lot. I didn’t have anymore children, this experience put me off. My husband, her dad is very similar with his sleep, he’ll be awake for hours, he was like this as a child. His timekeeping is atrocious, as is our daughters and many other traits, they’re both dyslexic as well.

I feel for you, lack of sleep is pure torture, absolutely draining. I hope you find a solution that works for you, take care 🤗

What happens when they won't go? Do they get really hyper?

Not really, usually just upset because it’s obvious how tired they are. We do typical bedtime, we split them up so we bath them together but do bedtime separately so they don’t get over excited. They seem so tired and ready but just won’t go to sleep. Last night my 2 yo was asking to go to bed but just prats on when we try

Just coming on to say my son had such trouble sleeping. He'd have 2-5 wakes a night, sometimes he'd be awake for 2-3 hrs. I was a shell! We Co slept as it was the only way to get sleep but still it was exausthing.

I got a consult with an ent due to broken sleep, fluid in his ears (not many ear infection but just fluid/bulging ear drums) mouth breathing and snoring. He was diagnosed with enlarged adnoids and got them out earlier this year. Within two months his sleep improved and now he's sleeping through the night. I don't know myself! And he's in much better form.
They also checked iron and was low so is on an iron supplement. Hey Sleepy Baby on insta has a ref flags highlight for sleep that includes adnoids and low iron.
I hope you it eases up for you all soon, broken sleep is exausthing 🫠