i know i can't dictate who posts and what they say, but i would LIKE only tips and support please - we ARE starting controlled crying with ds2 (6mo)

[Tutter]

this is the age we used the method with ds1 and it worked really well - 3 nights and we've hardly had a bad night since (he's 2.7yo) (early wakings excepted)

ds2 is a shocking sleeper. we've tried anything and everything. shh-pat worked for a week or so. we're now back to square 1

we are comfortable with using cc now he's 6mo. i know many of you think it's plain wrong, btu it's the decision we've made

ds2 and i are decamping to a spare room tonight (far from ds1) so i will be in the same room as him

i plan to go to the cot after 5 mins and just make shh-ing noises and rub his back. is that right - can't remmber what is suggested - is the back rub too much intervention?

can we ask questions? can we ask questions on another thread? Am I ever, ever, ever, ever going to be allowed to discuss this with you or is it going to Hang Between Us like a Big Hangy Thing

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I think you're doing the right thing Tutter

because you think it's the right thing and you're a good mum

so you're doing the right thing

uh uh cod

look Tutter it wasn't ME

thnaks cod

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I also think Tutter is a great mum

(doesn't mean I have to agree with her about everything she does)

Where will ds2 end up sleeping in the longer term? Isn't it best to have him in the room that he will sleep in in the future?

will clear orf anyway but you know where I am if you want some lentils

you can ask franny

it will hang between us becasue i'm going to stick with it

this is the age we did cc with ds1

it worked

we don't actually have to have an opinion on it tbh

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Not too young at all - the perfect age! Did it with DS1 at 7.5 months (before he could stand up, which was a bonus really) and had lots of crying the first night, only two wakings the second night, a whimper twice the third night and sleep, glorious sleep, from the fourth night onwards.

DH and I just steeled ourselves and made each other cups of tea the first night. It was much less bad than I feared and everyone was so much happier afterwards - including DS1 who slept like a dream.

Didn't need to do it with DS2 who slept through from 9 weeks.

yes, ladymuck, it would

but it isn't worth risking waking ds1

which has happened twice already - he's a v light sleeper in the seond half of the night

yes that's a good idea cod

link to an epic thread that would takle an hour to read

i'm rtather tired

summarise please

it doesn't need to hang between us, just I thought we Were Never To Speak Of It and then it might

erm my question was, when you say he is a terrible sleeper, do you mean that you think he is a much worse sleeper than any other 6 m o babies and so you cannot possibly cope etc etc etc

or do you have a kind of idea that babies this age should be mostly sleeping at night, and not waking up much, and if they do, there is something wrong and you have to fix it?

and would you like to read any books on alternative ways of coping with nights or discuss alternatives because I might be able to help a bit

he is not The Worst i am sure

vbut last night was tytpical - awake for a few mins each at 12:30, 1:30, then awake for an hour and a half from 3:30

ended up in bde with us from 5:50 when he woke again

we have tried co-sleeping, cot in our room, cotbed in his room

swaddled
grobag on back
grobag on tummy

shh-pat
pu/pd

i read many books with ds1

i don't want to read any more, i want to sleep

i am prepared to let ds2 cry in order for me to function properly and so i can attempt to be a good mum th rest of the time

you're doing the right thing .. controlled crying .. yep .. he's old enough IMO .. and it's a few days pain for maximum gain .. you've done it before .. you can do it again

yes I know you are a good mum

what happens when he co-sleeps and wakes up for the few minutes? If you sleep with breast out can he get to it and feed without either of you waking up much?

i do however hjave concerns that it may not work with ds2

he is sociable and cuddly and has never been a good sleeper

ds1 wasn't cuddly, was always happy enough in his own bed, rarely woke in the night. cc was just a tool to get him to sleep in the first place

different babies, so am not exactly brimming with confidence

must do something with ds but will check back later, and will butt out if you want, honest

thanks twig

franny, even with boob out he wakes often and won't fall asleep on the boob - needs settling afterwards

plus his nappy has leaked each time he's had a night feed in the last week or so, it gets so full

oh and he can be awake for ages (an hour or more) even when co-sleeping

Tutter, as you know, I have two boys. They also have different characters. DS1 was Very Keen to sleep (he couldn't, often, because he also used to have sky-high temperatures (41 degrees) each time he cut a tooth, so I used to sit up with him, rubbing his hot back, offering him sips of water and hoping he didn't puke again while he whimpered softly and tried to sleep).

DS2, on the other hand, will NOT do things unless he wants to do them and never has done. Sleeping was Not His Thing for the first 15 months of his life. He slept through once in that time, the night he was four months old (contrary chap - maybe he was worried I'd spoon wallpaper paste in his mouth if he woke that night ).

Don't think I'm saying my way of doing things was right - I was A Bit Mental for the first year of his life (yeah, yeah, shuttit you lot) - but I felt there was honestly no point leaving him to cry, because he could keep himself awake for hours at the best of times.

Do you have any help? Other than your lying-down DH? Can you say to anyone "Look, I really need some sleep, so once a week, I'd love to have a morning in bed, so please, please, for the love of God, take the boys and keep them out of earshot for me, please, please, please"?

It is hard having two little ones. It is harder still when one of them doesn't sleep well. I know we have a similar age gap and I promise it does get better.

Having said all that, if you're 100% resolved that CC is the way forward, there's nowt I can say that will change your mind. But there are a lot of us who didn't use CC and muddled through and it was OK to do it that way too. I have been following this thread and didn't post until you said about the characters of your boys, because it rang a bell with me.