I’m prepared to be told I’m a terrible mother but please hear me out.

[stillreallytired]

My 5 month old has had one half hour sleep between 1045 this morning and now.

He is screaming with exhaustion, and I’ve been sobbing as well.

I really need advice but it does need to be actual advice I can use. So:

The sling is a no go.

He will sleep in the pram but I don’t want to be overly reliant on this.

He will feed to sleep sometimes. But the problem is if he doesn’t I then have to wait until he’s hungry enough to accept another bottle.

Dummies don’t work as he spits them out or knocks them out of his mouth.

So - I’ve no idea but I am desperate.

He’s awake again,

No I’m really nit fixated, I am trying to help him.

And in response to previous posters, our nursery did not impose their own routines. They were very clear that they respond to the needs of the babies and had a separate sleep room which was accessible at all times. This is one of the reasons I chose them.

@stillreallytired

He’s awake again,

So keep him awake. Feed? Play? Toys? Bath?

Heart goes out to you OP. Been there very recently . And it’s annoying as shit when others say they’ve been through it and sympathise but it doesn’t help at the time .

You need someone else to take over for a bit . Anyone . That’s the advice I would give myself but I wouldn’t take it either . I’d suffer through because it’s my job and I’m his mum and I desperately what to do what he needs.

He’ll go eventually and you will make it until he does .

@stillreallytired

I’m trying hamburger but everyone is just fixating on the pram.

I guess that’s it then. He will only sleep in the pram outside.he’s going to nursery soon where that won’t happen, so he’ll be overtired and exhausted all the time and I’ve done that

All day I kept thinking he’d give in and sleep, he just can’t. So I don’t know what I can or should do. That’s why I’m reach out out here even though I knew I’d get abuse. I think it’s what I deserve.

I am shit at this and should never have done it.

And don’t remove this post please MN. I want it to stay. I want to have it here just how shit I am.

OP - where is your family support?

My DS only slept in the pram and when he went to nursery they rocked him in that until he slept then he transitioned to the floor bed.

Have you seen the rocket thing that vibrates the pram?

Might it be worth getting GP to check your son? In case there something wrong?

If you feel things are too much, put him down in his cot or Moses basket so he can come to no harm, and leave the room for 10 mins for a breather.

With my middle dd, who would get so over tired and cranky the best method)and I tried everything) was in pram in front of the washing machine, switched on obviously. Didn't cause any long term sleep issues and gave us both the break we needed x

@stillreallytired

He’s finally settled but it’s the daytimes I’m really concerned with.

Like I say when he starts nursery they won’t be able to walk him round in the pram, I’m also concerned he apparently feels insecure with me and unable to drop off.

I'm so glad he's settled. Get some rest if you can.

It's not you. We've all had days like this. You're not failing at all. Babies can be irrational! X

Unfortunately it was very short lived!

It sounds as if OP is clinically depressed and over tired and feeling very down on herself. Please speak to someone in real life as well as here.

Op I think you need to stop fixating on the wake windows and how long he's awake. All babies are different and I don't think comparing it to a chat or whatever is helping you.

You have my sympathies dd was the same, she would only sleep in the car or in the pram and living rurally wasn't great (especially when she was born in winter and it snowed for months) so I had to rock her back and forth in the kitchen.

You aren't a terrible mother and if you were you wouldn't be asking for advice. You clearly are a good mother who cares so much about your dc but for your own good i think you should speak to your hv/gp about possible PND.

Do you have real life support or a partner?

Are you home alone . That’s when I found it hardest. Any family you can call ?! I didn’t and would be too proud to ask anyway but if you can you should x

I know you don’t want to hear about pram and completely understand what you have said. Weather, muddy wheels, etc. I just remembered that we had same issue when he was older and we needed up getting a second cheaper comfy lie flat pram and used it in his bedroom for his naps .. Only those with bad sleepers will understand this.. won’t help today but worth checking gumtree, fb market place for another one to help in future? I used to give a bottle in the pram, white noise and then rock briskly back and forth until asleep (keep going for a good few mins until in a deeper sleep) and then leave. means you can use baby monitor too.. Hope this suggestion doesn’t annoy you but it’s a genuine suggestion that really helped me. I had an awful sleeper and he genuinely nearly broke me..

I’m really not fixating on the wake windows. I’m fixating on a baby screaming in exhaustion.

Why do you think you’re failing him because he’s been awake for four hours?
Honestly the sleep/wake patterns you’ve described sounds completely normal at this stage (not that it helps when you’re exhausted and frustrated!)
DS was a cat napper like that for a couple of months whiles going through some developmental leaps. We caved and used the pram, we live at a high altitude and often have bad weather - a decent rain cover and jacket/leggings for me and lots of swearing under my breath whilst the wind beat me.
It does pass OP.

Have you tried laying in bed with him OP? In your bed and singing to him whilst he feeds?

You sound unwell to me. You've obviously not started this threat for advice, it sounds to me like you need somewhere to take out your frustration or for people to feel sorry for you rather than take actual advice. I'm sorry your baby is overtired, I know how stressful that is.

OK lord if that’s what you think don’t post on it.

Your not failing him, he’s clean, warm and fed and has a mother going all out to make sure he sleeps too.

He’ll be on best behaviour at nursery. Kids are always better behaved for people outside the family.

This is one of the most frustrating threads I’ve read in a long time
Take the advice or don’t. It really is that simple

I've an 8 month old DD as well now. Her daytime naps are awful and have been for a long time. She only naps on me. She tends to have 90 mins - 2hrs in the morning and is then done. She can then be bloody awful for the rest of the day so you have my sympathies. When older DS around she's lucky if she naps. I'm dreading half term.

I really think you should open up to some one. You are not a terrible mother. It's a bloody hard job.

Do you know that it’s exhaustion? It could be something else - teething, tummy ache, frustration at all the attempts to get him to sleep?!

My DC2 is 6 months and I’ve found her naps
are more predictable now she’s on solids (NOT because the solids help her sleep, but because we now have 3 meals plus her breastfeeds which enforces more of a routine in her day. Her awake windows are more like 3.5 hours and I hadn’t considered that might be a problem. Some babies just don’t need as much sleep.

@NavigatingAdolescence actually I beg to differ, I know not all babies are able to self soothe at 5 months, but mine was a thumb sucker and was able to send himself off to sleep from 4 months. Before that he was a terrible napper, would stay awake alllllll day so I can completely understand how desperate the feel op. Hang in there.

Dark room, keep it dark. If his room is close enough to hear the tumble drier on, stick it on. Cuddle him in bed if he’ll let you, under the blankets and sing any counting song you can think of. Once sang 10 green bottles for nearly 3hrs straight because it was the only think that would stop the screaming.

Second he’s asleep get out of the room and do not go back in until you’ve had something to eat, a cuppa, a bath if you want one. You need some care too

Can he be distracted from crying by showing him something? Or putting him on a blanket on the floor?