I’m prepared to be told I’m a terrible mother but please hear me out.

[stillreallytired]

My 5 month old has had one half hour sleep between 1045 this morning and now.

He is screaming with exhaustion, and I’ve been sobbing as well.

I really need advice but it does need to be actual advice I can use. So:

The sling is a no go.

He will sleep in the pram but I don’t want to be overly reliant on this.

He will feed to sleep sometimes. But the problem is if he doesn’t I then have to wait until he’s hungry enough to accept another bottle.

Dummies don’t work as he spits them out or knocks them out of his mouth.

So - I’ve no idea but I am desperate.

To be fair that is an absolute fucking tune.... Un, deux, trois....No one ever does it like that anymore...Bang, bang, bang!

I remember the desperate days, OP.

Do you have a partner?

Honestly, he is so tired. He claws at his face rubbing his eyes and gets frantic with it.

I’m honestly not fixated at all on the wake windows but just the same over four hours is way way too long for a baby this age and it is worrying me.

I’ll leave it there I think, the thread has attracted a lot of attention.

Did someone say put the phone near the baby's head...... ?
There is such a lot of support and advice and very useful information on the thread. But that is not. As I hope stillreallytired knows....

*need to add, that only applies if you have a tumble drier

Sorry, it didn’t quote- that was to @NavigatingAdolescence

Stroke his ear.

We’re really feeling for you OP. You are in the depths of it. It’s fucking horrible. You just need to make it through today and for the clouds to lift. To see it rationally again .. to have rested and slept .

You can get through it .

Do you have support op? A partner or family who can help you?

@stillreallytired

OK lord if that’s what you think don’t post on it.

So you ignored the advice I gave to respond negatively which is the point I was making.

I genuinely sympathise with you, I have been there, but you're not helping yourself by starting a thread and being immediately argumentative because you're not going to get what you want and I don't think that's going to help with how you're doing.

If you don't want advice, what is it you need? Let us all know so we can try and genuinely help you which is what we are all here to try to do

I’ll leave it there I think, the thread has attracted a lot of attention.

I suspect that's all it was ever about.

You have dismissed every single piece of advice.

You have been rude to people trying to help.

You told me not to post becaue I said you have not failed your baby.

You have just told someone to fuck off.

Your baby has a perfectly normal day of 3 (now 4) naps so there isn't really anything wrong anyway.

I call attention seeking.

I was giving you the benefit of the doubt and thought you may be struggling with PND but you are not here for help you are here for drama.

Sorry if someone has suggested this, but do you have a car? I used to drive mine round the block to get them to sleep. I'd even take a flask to sit and enjoy on the drive on the days I'd not want to risk waking them by moving them into the house. We had a flatter car seat.
Neighbours must have thought I was bonkers, mind.

OP I do understand. It's so hard. My DS would never ever have just fallen asleep if he was tired - we had to force every single nap from birth to the age of about 13 months. He also would never sleep in the pram inside - in the first year of his life I managed to successfully get from outside to inside without him waking up precisely 3 times. He didn't nap anywhere that wasn't in my arms, in the pram (while walking), the car or the sling until he was over 6 months.

We had a complicated routine of intense bouncing/rocking in our arms, in the dark, alongside white noise (the kind that says shush over and over again). This could take ages - sometimes up to 30 minutes of rocking. I'd then sit down and hold him, jiggling him about a bit if he started to stir.

I would try and find something, anything, that works for you and stick to it.

It is worth ruling out allergies - DS has CMPA that wasn't diagnosed until we started weaning (he was BF). Cutting out dairy really helped.

No idea if you're still reading but by 6 months my daughter had 1 long nap per day. Yes it meant she had long wake windows but it totally worked for us. I kept her awake until midday then got Hr to sleep then. She either had 2/3 shitty little naps that I had to force or one long decent one, and she's been on that routine for a year and is fine. It took about 3 days to sort her out,

Agreed @flashylamp !

I'm posting because I also have a terrible napper. She goes through phases where she is better but naps have always been hard. She's 10 months now.

I wouldn't say I've ever had anything that religiously worked unfortunately. For a few months she was reasonably happy just napping in my arms after feeding to sleep but that has still been interspersed with periods where she wouldn't nap. I've tried various things which I'll list below. I too worried that developmentally she would suffer because of not sleeping enough.

Bouncing on a birthing ball holding her tight
Walking with a bounce in my step and patting her bum
Lying upstairs on my bed with her
Walking in a beco Gemini sling, a wrap didn't work as she hated her head being held in that way
Holding her firmly against my body so her kicks and wriggles didn't distract her
Kitchen dancing with her up on my shoulder
A Joie swing chair
Going for a drive

The only thing that religiously never worked, was the pram. Couldn't even go for walks until it converted to a pushchair as she'd just screech.

DD hasn't started nursery yet but I've been worried about her ability to sleep there and so many parents have told me how utterly bizarre it is but that nursery magically gets bad nappers to nap. We will see if that proves true for us or not...

Are you the same poster who has posted a number of times over the past weeks (months?) re your babies sleeping and napping?
If you are I really think you need to speak to your GP. You sound like you have postpartum anxiety and are fixating on your baby’s sleep. Please seek help.

What a frustrating thread! I started off with nothing but empathy and remembering the god awful phase you’re in. But you are literally ignoring everyone’s questions...

Do you have ANYONE to help?
Dark room, cot, white noise

@Sofia95

Sorry if someone has suggested this, but do you have a car? I used to drive mine round the block to get them to sleep. I'd even take a flask to sit and enjoy on the drive on the days I'd not want to risk waking them by moving them into the house. We had a flatter car seat. Neighbours must have thought I was bonkers, mind.

I did this too, I used to spend about an hour just sitting in the car on the drive. Reading my phone or a book. Neighbours must have thought I was nuts but it was the best way to get a break some days!

I have a 5 month old who loves to sleep in the pram too. I do normally suck it up and go out whatever the weather. However if that isn't an option for you the things that also work for us are:

1. hairdryer on full blast whilst bouncing him in a vibrating chair (although he'll only go down for about 30 minutes but that's normally enough for me to get ready and do bottles every morning)
2. dark room, cuddled in and bouncing him (not rocking, I'm literally bouncing
3. he doesn't like Ewan the sheeps white noise but he does like a YouTube video "white noise, black screen" (don't ask me the difference). He also likes a quite aggressive "shhh". Loud shushing seems to settle him, a gentle shh shh seems to irritate him
4. huckleberry app. LIFE SAVER. It will tell you when he's due a nap and you'll probably look at him and think never in the world is he tired but trust me, the app knows!! Used it on both my babies. It's like magic!
5. baby also spits his dummy out or rags it up his face, walk in the pram for like 30+ seconds holding it in his mouth until he gets that he needs to keep sucking it for it to stay in his mouth. Sometimes you need to do it for a while and sometimes you need to do it several times before it stays, but it will eventually

OP, calm down, most people will have had days like this. It’s hard but you will look back one day and barely remember this, so just hang in there. You’re not a bad mother, otherwise you wouldn’t be worrying about him. I’m not trying to be patronising, I feel for you and have been there myself.

I think it would be a good idea to get the baby checked out by a HCP just to rule out any other cause for the crying. That will reassure you. They may be able to offer advice.

What about using a pram?

I had a baby who wouldn't sleep and cried a lot - I thought I was going to go mad from exhaustion. What helped me was telling my health visitor what was going on. Honestly, that health visitor saved me. OP, please call your health visitor first thing tomorrow and explain what's going on. The health visitor is there to support you and I can hear how much stress you're under. I'm so sorry you're going through this.