I’m prepared to be told I’m a terrible mother but please hear me out.

[stillreallytired]

My 5 month old has had one half hour sleep between 1045 this morning and now.

He is screaming with exhaustion, and I’ve been sobbing as well.

I really need advice but it does need to be actual advice I can use. So:

The sling is a no go.

He will sleep in the pram but I don’t want to be overly reliant on this.

He will feed to sleep sometimes. But the problem is if he doesn’t I then have to wait until he’s hungry enough to accept another bottle.

Dummies don’t work as he spits them out or knocks them out of his mouth.

So - I’ve no idea but I am desperate.

@stillreallytired

Yes, I’ve been ignoring that question on purpose because it isn’t relevant.

It is relevant my love, they say it takes a village and it really does. I had DH to help me and I genuinely, hand on heart have no idea how single parents do it.

If you have someone who can come and physically help you that can be a big bonus. When both you and baby are stressed and upset someone who's not been going through it all day can often see things more clearly. It used to give me the rage when DH came home from work and instantly calmed DS but the reality was that DH hadn't been listening to crying most of the day and was much more relaxed than I was and DS picked up on that.

@RunningFromInsanity I also have PND - it isn't some psychosis, we aren't insane. It's ridiculous to tar someone with depression with that brush. Worry, ok, but an ambulance?!

Let’s hope so. What a horrible day.

starlight I am sorry if it came across that no one could even mention the pram. Usually, if I can see he’s tired and give him a bottle and he’s still wide awake I do just pop him in the pram and go for a little walk and voila.

However today it really hasn’t been safe to do that and pushing a pram inside - even if we had room and it didn’t mean covering the house with half the village mud - just wouldn’t be the same for him. I really am sorry for being snappy about that but when you’re exhausted and upset and stressed people repeatedly telling you to do something you really can’t do is very frustrating.

[quote RunningFromInsanity]@Mylittlesandwich
We have a PND mother, alone, getting more and more distressed (and irrational) with a baby that she is determined to get quiet.
I would be worried.[/quote]
She hasn't said once she's distressed with the baby. One morning I yelled at newborn DS, I was convinced he hated me and didn't want me to sleep. That he only loved DH and DH had gone to work and he was taking it out on me. No ambulance was required.

What do you think an ambulance will do? I called NHS24 this year because I wanted to end my life and do you know what they told me to do? Take a bath and bake a cake. They won't be able to help. Her GP and possibly health visitor are best placed to help her. An ambulance can't help with that.

Of course it is relevant. Because if you have support, you need to be using it when you are so exhausted that you want to take it out on household appliances??

[quote Pancakepipsqueak]@RunningFromInsanity I also have PND - it isn't some psychosis, we aren't insane. It's ridiculous to tar someone with depression with that brush. Worry, ok, but an ambulance?![/quote]
Can you really read the multiple threads from this OP spiralling and not say you aren’t even a little concerned about her and that baby being alone?

OP is offering no info and keeps repeating the same phrases

What else can anyone do?🤷‍♀️

It’s not about getting him ‘quiet’ as in STFU

So today about two and a half hours after his nap I gave him a bottle and thought he was nodding off. Went to put the bottle in the steriliser and he started crying. Went back and he was clawing at his eyes in tiredness.

He was held, rocked, soothed, but nothing happening.

Every time I’ve put him down - even just to go to the loo - he’s cried.

I’ve had him in the bouncy chair, listened to nursery rhymes whilst hoovering, rocked him, and he’s just been beside himself.

It has been very stressful.

When they are that tiny, just use pram, get out a walk and once asleep head home for a sleep yourself.

@RunningFromInsanity I tend not to try and gauge someone's mental health and state of mind from a brief, warped window on the internet, or make sweeping judgements based on a mention of PND...

@Sassenach85

OP is offering no info and keeps repeating the same phrases

What else can anyone do?🤷‍♀️

Nothing, but you can come on and make me feel bad I suppose.

parentinfantfoundation.org.uk/teams/locations/
If one of these services are near I would seek a referral from your GP or HV.

That’s erm, not helpful at all harris

He’s asleep 🙌 well done OP you made it through !

Now turn your lights off and rest up ! It might not be the last time so enjoy the break whilst you can .

Get back to green . I’m were at red when you started this thread . Now you’re amber . Find a way to get back to green ready to manage tomorrow xx

@stillreallytired It sounds stressful! Has baby been checked for silent reflux if happening after bottles? Might be worth shifting bottles so there's time for holding him upright before nap! We do Eat, Play, sleep which has helped my LO! Either that or teething, maybe

The helpline a previous PP mentioned looks great.
You can’t get angry at people making suggestions though, when they are trying to help. I get that you are stressed and exhausted. I still think giving HV a ring would be a good idea.
Failing that, I really hope you have an easier day tomorrow! Horrible weather and feeling closed in doesn’t help.

I used to stroke my DS's nose really gently and that had a very calming sleepy effect. Also my DS hated being put down on a cold cot sheet so I used to warm it with a hot water bottle for a few mins. (Take the bottle out when the baby goes down though.)

Thread has moved on since I posted and you replied but your baby is 5 months old and has had 3 naps today. There isn't a lack of sleep issue here.

Do bear in mind that babies are like sponges to our emotions - you are exhausted and wound up and rattly and he will be picking up on that. Find a way for you to relax - put a movie on or something on netflix. Forget 'he must sleep' and just aim for keeping him comfortable. Give him a massage or just put him on his mat with some toys and lie beside him watching something on tv. I think you will need to calm down for him to be able.

This is not calling you shit btw - genuinely you are the emotional lead for him. If you can get to a point where you are calm it will likely help him to settle to.

www.dorpip.org.uk/
Have a read here too and see if any of it feels familiar

I’m not angry but I am tired of having to repeat myself over and over.

Have you asked gp for advice ? Baby possibly has silent reflux which is very painful and babies get very distressed? Do you have any help from a partner ,family etc .

Ignore the negative responses ! You’re defensive because you’re low and exhausted . it’s totally forgivable and understandable!. Get rested

OP checking you have support or a partner is a relevant question. It helps us understand the situation better and advise you more.

Have you tried checking his temperature? DD once had an ear infection that kept her awake for hours at a time. She wasn't pulling her ears or anything so no obvious signs.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

Believe it or not OP I can relate to you very much. I have been there. My mum offering to take dd and let me sleep was useless as I just lay there KNOWING she was awake and how could I sleep when she wasn’t??

She was my first. It was a traumatic time. And I absolutely had undiagnosed pnd.

If I could go back and speak to myself I would say get DH to help. Say in no uncertain terms how desperate you feel and get help.

I have 101 suggestions for your little one to get a nap, but the person implementing them would be you and YOU need to be feeling better in yourself to do that.

Put your sanity first and you will be better placed to help your baby

honey my baby had one half hour sleep in eight hours. I beg to differ.

My baby had a total of one hour forty five minutes sleep in a thirteen hour period. That is nowhere near enough.

It would not be a problem if he was just one of those babies who thrives regardless; he isn’t. He was tired and screaming with exhaustion. That’s distressing for us both.

He had three short naps and two of them were before 11 am.