Has anyone tried sleeping training ?? Help

[Daisyflower12345]

How did you do it ?

I really need to do something as I'm physically and emotionally drained!
DD is 14months and still isn't sleeping through the night an regularly wakes up. I'm so sleep deprived. Many have mentioned to try the Ferber method where you come in after long intervals. I just need to do something and this is literally my last and final option I don't know wat else to do.

Has anyone tried this ?? Has it worked ? Was it the worse thing ever ? Please any advice will help.

@Indecisivelurcher that's the only thing I couldn't figure out. Because there was no option for that it just said stop the timer but there was option to add notes. So might need to try an figure that out if I can.

But that hour DD was awake she eventually fell asleep herself again so I know she can do it. So just have to see how she gets on for a few weeks an then try implement different things.

If you want to sleep train (or even if you don't) I really suggest actually reading Ferber's book instead of relying on quick online advice. It talks allot about sleep overall, how naps affect it and how to identify specific sleep issues and when it might be better to just leave it be.

@AuroraBor Thank you very much.

That's something that I would like to do. I'd do anything right about now haha

Il have a look online to see if I can find the Ferber method book.

It's called Solve your child's sleep problems

@AuroraBor Thank you very much xx

@Indecisivelurcher update

DD was not great at all. Was waking up every 2 hours and just needed to be tapped and would go back to sleep. Then again got up at 3am at this point I was soooo tired that I just didn't get up to tap her. But then she just started crying and was then wide awake.

She was awake for over an hour just tossing and turning in our bed an eventually fell asleep.

I don't know if it's because she had a very long nap during the day. But I don't know if that would affect it. She had a nap around 11.45am for about 2hours and 45mins. I then put her to bed at 7.15 but by the time she actually fell asleep it was 7.45pm. Not sure if this even is making a difference to her sleeping.

OK so when you changed naps and bedtime it could have gone one of two ways. Either that would be enough and she'd start to settle herself automatically. Or it wouldn't and you'd have to look at sleep training in some form. Unfortunately you're in the second camp, which means you won't have quite such an easy ride, but the steps you've taken are still the right ones to start with.

From the sounds of it she is quite dependent on you tapping her, to help her settle into sleep every time she wakes. You're going to have to stop tapping! She will probably be upset, because that's how she gets to sleep. Start at bedtime.

You have two options. Just sit with her quietly instead. Or do controlled crying with interval checks.

Do you have a feeling for which is more likely to work for you all?

@Indecisivelurcher yes your right the tapping needs to stop because it's so draining getting up every other hour jus to tap and sometimes I have to tap more than 20mins.

I think with me sat in the room it would make her cry more because Iv done that once where I just sat next to the cot on the floor an she would cry an put her hands out to me an to be honest that would upset me more.

Me an DH have discussed it and we think we are going to go with the controlled crying method with interval checks. So we are hoping to start that next week Monday as he has some time off an rather start it then so we are both mentally prepared.

So we will do usual routine of bath pajamas etc and then just place her into the cot and leave the room.

Only thing I wanted to ask was last time she vomited an I think that's because I gave her a bottle an put her straight down.

So I was thinking maybe give her milk like half an hour before and then get her ready for bed? Xx

That sounds like a very good plan to me. I'd probably try cc in your shoes too. Sometimes think it's kinder on everyone to do something quick, whip the plaster off.

@Indecisivelurcher Yes exactly. As hard as it's going to be I just need to keep telling myself this is the best thing for her right now. She needs to learn to sleep herself.

I just hope I'm strong enough to do it an don't give up. Iv told DH too, to be strong and think it will all be worth it in the end. As right now it's affecting all 3 of us.

So will let u know how it goes when we try it next week probably Monday or Tuesday night.

But thank you so much for all your help and advice you've been amazing an such a good support system through this. Xx

I'm hoping it's not going to be as bad as you think, because you've laid some ground work. You've got this! Just remember you're doing the right thing.

Just wanted to say good luck, keep going and be consistent. My DS mainly sleeps through and only wakes occasionally (maybe once a week) and I find that difficult enough. I have used the free Huckleberry App since about 6months and have found it so useful that I still record sleep at 16months. There is a summary page that may be useful for you which shows sleep totals. I'll add a picture!

@Indecisivelurcher yes I hope
So too fingers crossed. Will let u know next week how it goes.

@HoneyPea thank you. I have downloaded the app as someone suggested it the other week. Only problem is I don't think u can add night wakings as you can only
Stop the timer and then restart. But it has been quite useful in terms of what time bedtime should be etc.

No you can't necessarily record night wakings but I do stop the timer and then restart when he goes back to sleep (well I do it in the morning by looking back at the camera) It really helps to see if there is a pattern as we worked out my son was waking up every Sunday and Wednesday for a period of time. It turned out our neighbour was working away and was leaving in the night on Sunday and coming back in the night on a Wednesday!!! This has been our week so far.

Sorry you'll have to click on the photo to see how night wakings are shown 🤦‍♀️

@HoneyPea awww wow that's pretty good. Yes I guess il do that then il jus restart timer at night when she wakes up that way I can check if there's a pattern too.

@Daisyflower12345 I believe having Ewan the sheep was a massive help, bought one when he was just over 6months and moved into his own room (the one that turns on when noise is detected) it usually sends him straight back to sleep. Also we think he was scared of the dark so we leave a calpol plug in light on all night which seems to help. My husband forgot to turn it on on Saturday which is why I think he couldn't get himself back to sleep!

@HoneyPea might have a look at the Ewan the sheep. Il try anything right about now haha.

Also we always had the fan on so maybe DD got used to the noise of that. But last night we put it away and didn't have it on so maybe that's why she was waking every 2 hours.
So I might just put the fan on tonight and see if it makes any difference. No air comes out the fan I jus have it for the noise lol

My little girl was a terrible sleeper and woke every 45 minutes. I felt like I was losing my mind. She improved at 9 months when I cut out all night feeds so that she wasn’t waking up expecting milk. But around 12 months she started waking again. Cutting out the pre-bed milk helped again I think because her bladder wasn’t waking her. At 18 months I did the disappearing chair/gradual retreat So she learned to self soothe and we have very few problems now. I tried not to make the same mistakes with my second baby - but sometimes circumstances take over. She slept through until 6 months but then started having night feeds in the heatwave and now wakes two or three times. However, I’m more relaxed second time because I know it’s not forever and it will sort out and time will pass. Please don’t despair, it will get better.

@Daisyflower12345 the fan being white noise could definitely be helping, you'll have to try and see if she sleeps better with it. We also I suppose do a bit of controlled crying in a way at night as we will wait up to 5mins to see if he will stop crying and then go to him rather than going straight away. Last night when we went up to bed he woke up but resettled himself after 3 and a half minutes of crying!

@HoneyPea yes I do think the fan helps it also blocks out other noises.

Today she's being a nightmare Iv noticed recently she is waking from her naps. Usually once she's down for a nap she would sleep for at least an hour but now she is waking after 20mins and then has to be rocked back to sleep. It's just so tiring.

I do definitely need to do the controlled crying as I have tired everything else and this is my last option. I just need to do it next week. Fingers crossed it goes well

@Daisyflower12345 Sorry your having a rubbish nap day 😢 I'm trying out one nap a day rather than 2 and have had lunch on my own for the first time in months. You would think it would be nice but I missed his incessant chatting while I eat 🤣
Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 it all works out for you and remember if your struggling you can always post here just for a chat

@HoneyPea Awwww that's nice. It's lovely having time to yourself just to relax and unwind.

I changed to one nap a day a few weeks ago. Was going pretty well she was sleeping for 2hours but all of a sudden past few days she just keeps getting up after half an hour then I tap/rock her and she falls asleep again. But today nope nothing! She's only slept half an hour and just doesn't want to nap. So I have just left it an she will have an earlier bedtime.

Is it normal to feel like you've given up on life lol that's exactly how I feel right now. Not the greatest feeling. Just feel so low and sleep deprived and defeated

@Daisyflower12345 Yes it's normal and we all have days (or weeks) when we feel that way. Do something nice for you that you haven't had chance to do for a while, have a bubble bath, watch an episode of a tv series, read a book, have a glass of something nice as soon as she goes to bed and then go to bed early yourself. I know it won't fix the long term sleep deprivation but it will make you feel better today and mean tomorrow might be a little bit easier, everything seems worse when your tired!

@HoneyPea Thank you. I think thats exactly what I need. A nice long hot bath should make me feel slightly better.

It's just some days like you said are worse than others. Sometimes she's amazing an we have such a good day and night and then boom all
Of a sudden she just doesn't want to sleep at all.

But I'm hopeful things will get better and it's just a phase. DH has come home now so he is taking over thankfully haha.