Has anyone tried sleeping training ?? Help

[Daisyflower12345]

How did you do it ?

I really need to do something as I'm physically and emotionally drained!
DD is 14months and still isn't sleeping through the night an regularly wakes up. I'm so sleep deprived. Many have mentioned to try the Ferber method where you come in after long intervals. I just need to do something and this is literally my last and final option I don't know wat else to do.

Has anyone tried this ?? Has it worked ? Was it the worse thing ever ? Please any advice will help.

Oo brilliant!

@Daisyflower12345 hi OP, your toddler really doesn’t need to be having milk at night at her age is there a reason you’re still night feeding?

We did sleep training with DS at 9 months and used the Ferber method. He was very upset to begin with but slept through after 3 nights and hasn’t ever woken up at night since unless unwell (he’s now 15 months)

I haven’t read all the comments. We did jo frost which is basically Ferber.

I was dead against it until I just couldn’t cope with the sleep deprivation at 8 months.

We did it and it was sorted within 3 nights. The 3rd night she was asleep within a minute and has slept well ever since. She’s now 5.

I “justified” it to myself because she was crying all night anyway and a bad car journey might involve 20 mins of crying if we couldn’t settle her or stop. There was much less crying with the sleep training.

It works but it doesn’t work if you can’t do it and many many people just can’t do it because they can’t bear it. I understand that.

@MB90 hey. DD has always wanted a bottle at night she just seems extra hungry. I haven't been too sure how to stop that if I'm totally honest as if I don't give it the first time she wakes up sometimes it's hard to settle her back to sleep unless she has the bottle.

@Incrediblytired I know I have heard a lot of positive things about it an how it genuinely is the best thing.

I have tried 3 times with DD but she is just so hysterical and it's so heartbreaking to see how upset she gets. She has also vomited an it's too heartbreaking.

But now that I have changed her routine I'm hoping she will sleep abit better then I can maybe try the Ferber method again once she's a little settled an see how it goes

Personally I would get the sleep better first then hope night weaning is the final straw (but in a good way! Is there a better saying?!)

My ds was hard to night wean too, and a similar age. I changed to cows milk and that helped, but he still used to wake for milk, even if I watered it down. Eventually just accepted he needed a drink in the night, so ended up putting him to bed with a drink in his cot with him, in a no spill valve sip cup.

@Indecisivelurcher I agree lol my main priority at the moment is to get her sleeping better and thanks to your suggestion so far so good.

DD is also on cows milk. Sometimes when she wakes I give her the bottle and she doesn't really drink it much an then just goes back to sleep but most nights she drinks the bottle. The most annoying part of this is that she won't actually hold the bottle herself in the cot I have to physically pick her up an give it to her while she's asleep (I know I know that's really bad, I totally agree) but I just don't know how to get her out of this habit without her fully waking up an screaming the house down lol.

@Indecisivelurcher

Thanks for your advice! Yes we have a nightlight on and it’s red and a Sheep for white noise!

He fell asleep at 6.30 in his cot last night as he didn’t sleep in the pm at all and had been up from 11.20 am so was knackered! He went down ok but woke at 10.30 pm. We kept going in and patting him, trying to calm him and then going out again, this went in till 1am and he wasn’t getting any better. He can see the bed and just wants to be in it so DH gave in and went to sleep in the bed with him and he slept till 7 this morning.

We have moved the bed out of his room now to see what happens now.

I have a cot duvet/pillow and bumper coming to make it more comfy and hoping that will help as well. Currently trying to get him down for nap in there but not succeeding :(

I did sleep training when my DD was 13 months. Takes time but we'll worth it.

I had my own methods as a single mum. I had to go back to work full time when he was 6 weeks old as a nurse so I could not afford to be awake all night.
I decided I was not going to tiptoe round a baby all the time I was at home in the evening.
I had his cot and my bed in the dining room attached to the living room by a big arch, we rented a nurses accommodation house and the upstairs rooms had no heating and were too cold to use.
When he went to bed he could see and hear me in the living room until I went to bed, I'd have the main light off an a lamp on and i'd be working, watching quiet tv or knitting or whatever and sometimes he would stand in his cot watching me and I'd give him a kiss if I went into the kitchen behind him to make a coffee.
Then I'd join him around 10pm for bed, I was always around and there was always some quiet background noise on and I'm quite sure he felt reassured by someones constant presence and he slept pretty much straight through from 6 weeks old.
I don't think it's natural for babies or children to be shut away on their own for long periods in silence. He had his teddy and his blanket too.

Interesting you say that pp. My daughter likes a program on cbbc called where in the world. There is an episode with a girl in India and her family all sleep in the living room together, on a big bed of cushions and blankets. I feel really convinced that this would suit my daughter very well. She's is nearly 6 now and we have had awful issues with her sleep. I sleep trained at 6m and she slept through, but then at age 4 anxiety hit and she didn't sleep through again until 5.5. It has nearly broken me. The expectation that children sleep alone is a western one I'm sure. That said we did try co-sleeping numerous times and also made her a bed nest in our room to come into if she wanted, and she didn't sleep then either! I think we were too locked into the problems by that point, but that if we had slept all together to start with the issue may never have arisen.

My son is a different person entirely, he loves going to bed and loves his own space to sleep!

@madcatladyforever

Its funny you say this as im just reading a book on how other nationalities bring up their kids and how /where/when they sleep etc and its really interesting.

To be honest i think whatever works for you and your child you just gotta go with it whether its the western way or not! I'm not sure if CC will work for us tbh. I do love co sleeping at the mo but i'm just hoping its a phase and wont last too long but who knows ?!

Thanks for your advice xx

@Indecisivelurcher it's become a nightmare again

So last night normal routine went to bed at 7pm and then DD woke up at 12am and just would not go back to sleep at all was wide awake. Crying for me to pick her up. Would not even want to be tapped while laying jus wanted me. Didn't go back to sleep till 3am. Me an DH gave up an let her sleep in the bed.

I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. Maybe I need to do the sleep training I think that's the only thing that will work. I'm just so drained. Even the night before she didn't sleep well either was wide awake at 4am an didn't sleep til 6am.

Ah sorry you had a bad night @Daisyflower12345! Was she happy awake or upset? Have you managed to get her to have a nap in the day?

I still think the problem is not enough sleep and a sleep debt. I'm not saying you won't have to sleep train, in all likelihood you will have to. Can you add up how many hours sleep she's been getting in 24hrs?

@Indecisivelurcher so she has managed to sleep during the day which has been between 1and half to 2hours max. Then she will go to bed at 7pm-7.30pm latest.

It's hard to add it up because she has been waking up during the night an drifting in an out of sleep. But for example yesterday she slept 2 hours during the day then went to sleep at 7pm woke up at 12am an didn't sleep till 3am and then woke up at 7.30am. So all together I think that's 11.5hours of sleep.

I do agree with you I do think she is probably in sleep debt but I don't know what else to do in regards with her routine.

But I do think I will have to do the sleep training an I'm hoping to do that maybe in the next 2 weeks as I want to keep this routine going for a while before I introduce sleep training as that's going to be the hardest thing.

Well done on getting her to nap! With that and an earlier bedtime, that is some improvement in total sleep hours. I would say she should be having closer to 14hrs sleep at her age so she's still running a big sleep debt that she needs to catch up on.

I know it's hard when you're exhausted but this is only night 3, I don't think you should give it up as not working yet. She needs to be catching up on some of that debt and learning to self settle at bedtime, with support.

Bedtime can be earlier than 7! 7pm doesn't count as an early bedtime to me ;) my ds went to bed at 6pm at that age, sometimes 5:30, on the advice of the sleep consultant I worked with.

The quick fixes are things like cry it out or controlled crying, but if she gets hysterical and vomits then I'm not sure that's going to work. You can judge that better than me. If you want to try some interval checks at bedtime then you can.

If it was me I would stick with a solid nap, an earlier bedtime, and focus on reducing input at bedtime until she can self settle at bedtime. Do that for at least 2wks before you evaluate where you're at. And probably end up at controlled crying / intervals but be a bit more set up for that to work, if you see what I mean.

Hang in there.

@Indecisivelurcher thank you so much I genuinely appreciate all your advice.

I was thinking what if I change her back to 2 naps a day. So give her a nap 2-3 hours after she wakes up in morning. An then another nap in afternoon around 1ish. That way she can maybe catch up on her sleep that she has missed in the night etc? Or is it just best to stick to the 1 nap at midday.

Yes I agree I shouldn't give up yet with the routine as it's too early.

Also at night instead of rocking I have started to jus sit next to her cot an tap her. It does alloootttt longer lol can take up to 40mins doing it this way. But the rocking is so tiring an my back is in so much pain.

Yes I think the CIO method will literally be my final and last option so that's why will try it in a couple of weeks. An again with regular intervals so she's not hysterical or vomiting etc. An see how I get on x

Tough call. Night sleep is more important than day sleep, its deeper and more restoring. Do you think she would nap twice? I would probably be inclined to stick with 1 and do an early bedtime, partly because she wakes up fairly late in the morning.

I don't think she should be up more than 5hrs absolute max before going back to bed.

@Indecisivelurcher hmmm I don't think she would have another nap as just tried lol. So il stick to the one nap a day at midday. If she wakes up at 2 then il do bed at 7 but if she wakes up before 2 then il do bed at 6.

But it changes all the time of how long she naps. Sometimes she's good an naps for at least 2hours but sometimes she will wake up after an hour an i try an put her back to sleep.

Il jus stick to the same for now maybe jus do bedtime slightly earlier see if it will make a difference. But I just always thought if she goes sleep earlier like 6 or 6.30pm that she will wake up a lot earlier like 1am an won't go back to sleep. But il have to give it a go otherwise I think il lose my mind haha

I'm not saying that won't ever happen but hopefully it'll stop! At the min her body is releasing stress hormones due to lack of sleep, so after she crashes for a couple of hours she wakes and is upset about being awake, and probably feels like crap. It also makes her a bit hyper when really she's tired iyswim.

@Indecisivelurcher yes that makes perfect sense and I think that's exactly what she's doing. As I can tell she's very tired and wants to sleep but can't.

So il keep going with hope an hopefully she will settle an get back to a good nights sleep xxx

@Indecisivelurcher update lol

Think we most definitely have to go for the sleep training. Hopefully will do it tonight. But will do the Ferber method so regular intervals.

Last night was another nightmare. Went sleep 6.30pm went down fine. Woke up at 11pm and was wide awake very hyper and did not want to go sleep at all. Was awake for 4hours. I was soooo tired could barely keep eyes opened. Then she eventually fell asleep an woke up at 7.50am.

I jus think my final option is sleep training I cannot think of anything else at all. So will get her ready for bed tonight bath etc and then jus leave her in cot an wait outside an come in regular but longer intervals an see if this works.

Good luck @Daisyflower12345! It'll work out.