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Is this the 4 month regression?

33 replies

WindFlower92 · 06/10/2019 02:05

Hi all, looking for a bit of advice as I'm exhausted atm! Got a 4 month old; up to about a week ago she had a great sleeping pattern, sleeping from about 11pm-7/8am. For the last week however it's like she's been cluster feeding; wakes as soon as I put her into her cot, sometimes needs feeding back to sleep others she falls asleep as soon as I pick her back up. I've tried leaving her for a couple of minutes to see if she settles, I've tried white noise and music, none of these work. Husband can sometimes sooth her while in the cot, but not always. She's currently asleep on me, having just woken from being put in the cot. I'm varying the times I'm rocking her to sleep between 5 minutes and 30 minutes. Does anyone have any advice? Husband works lots of hours and drives long distances in the week, so want to find a way to deal with this to make this next week more bearable! If no advice, is anyone else at least as sleep deprived as me and wants company? :D

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
WindFlower92 · 06/10/2019 02:05

I hope all of that made sense!

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fee1234 · 06/10/2019 08:11

Could have written your post! My 17 week old was the best sleeper until a week ago. He would sleep 8-9 hours at night, now he's up every 2 hours. I think it's the sleep regression and he's waking up after the two hour sleep cycle ends, and doesn't know how to get back to sleep. I end up rocking him too because he just screams!

Apparently it's a phase but like you I'm so tired 😩

WindFlower92 · 06/10/2019 09:12

It's awful isn't it! Managed to get 4 hours sleep between 4 and 8 this morning, but hate that I'll pretty much have to be on my own with this until Friday night when the husband stops working. I find myself getting so angry and irrational as well, feeling like a bad mum at the moment and keep apologising to her for shouting! I just have no clue how to put her into her cot without her waking up Sad

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girlmummy25 · 06/10/2019 18:20

Im joining the club.
18 week old DD is waking up in the night and is just wide awake for about an hour n a half!!
She was going through the night for about 8-9hours with one or two 'popping dummy back in' which was fine.
But the last 2 weeks have been pretty hard when she is just wide awake and wont go back to sleep until she is ready

fee1234 · 06/10/2019 20:43

Fingers crossed tonight is a better night for us! My baby is just about to fall asleep, I'm going to try and sleep too because I just know he will be awake again in a couple of hours.

WindFlower92 · 06/10/2019 22:31

She's currently asleep on me - will try putting her in the cot in a min and see how we go!

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Newmumma83 · 06/10/2019 22:36

Ah ladies hope it’s over for you soon, in one way glad my little guy barely slept to start with so a regression went unnoticed!

Sleep deprivation is a nasty form of torture hope it’s a bit better tonight

WindFlower92 · 07/10/2019 11:11

She slept through! The secret is music! Play that when she starts waking up, rock back to sleep for a couple of minutes and then fade the music out :D Hope others had a good night!

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Passthecherrycoke · 07/10/2019 11:13

Joining the club. 17 week old here. I am so tired I keep typing this wrong

girlmummy25 · 07/10/2019 12:39

Mine done 8pm-6:20am. Luckily no hour n half party in the night but I had to put the dummy back in 4 times.
Her first nap is then 2 hours after her wake time but it lasts normally 2-2.5 hours.
Is it normal for her first nap to be so long?

fee1234 · 07/10/2019 13:21

So he went to sleep at 9 last night, up for feeds at 12 and 5, and put the dummy back in once or twice. Not as bad as the night before but I was still awake about 4 times.

Been reading up about sleep training.. I might give it a try when I know he's not hungry or poorly (he's getting over a cold and didn't eat as much yesterday which is why he fed twice in the night). Most of the time when he wakes he just wants a quick rock to sleep.

WindFlower92 · 08/10/2019 13:50

So the night before was a fluke, no sleep until 2am to start with! I just want to be able to put her to bed without having to rock her for 20 minutes each time! Aagh!

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fee1234 · 08/10/2019 13:59

I'm the same, saw every hour of the clock last night. He will only fall asleep if he's rocked in my arms! He won't even let his dad rock him it has to be me. Feel like a zombie today

girlmummy25 · 08/10/2019 14:22

Ditto. Had 4 month jabs yesterday so last night she was asleep from 8pm then awake for an hour n half from 11:40pm. I then couldnt get back to sleep. I stupidly went to bed at 10pm.
Then dummy back in another 2 times after that.
She has a temperature and dodgey belly so she was very grumpy
Im zombie too

WindFlower92 · 09/10/2019 11:10

About an hour and a half of sleep for me last night! Definitely a zombie today, and we have no coffee!

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Passthecherrycoke · 09/10/2019 11:31

We got a tooth!

WindFlower92 · 15/10/2019 14:44

Well the sleeping pattern has gone from bad to worse - only goes down from about 7am-10am! The rest of the night she'll only sleep on me. Aaaagh!

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Lizzie840 · 15/10/2019 15:35

The same thing happened when my baby turned 4 months. He went from being a good sleeper as a newborn to up constantly at 3/ 4 months old. It didn't improve until I started putting him down awake to fall asleep in his cot. As a newborn I'd put him down once he was asleep, but by 3/4 months he would wake up every time I put him down and take ages to resettle again.
Once he was falling asleep in his cot he started sleeping much better. It's not easy and all babies are different, but that is the only thing that worked for us.

Hope you get some rest soon, you must be so exhausted.

fee1234 · 15/10/2019 16:09

I've been so consistent this week with bedtime. First we do bath with few drops of lavender oil, massage with lights dimmed and relaxing music, bottle with lights dimmed, swaddle then bed with white noise. He stays asleep for 4-5 hours, then wakes for a feed/ dummy/ rock every two hours after that until 9am. It's getting better but very slowly. He's so hungry during the night I think it might be time to introduce something other than milk during the day.

FiveFeetNothing · 07/11/2019 16:59

Throwing my hat in the ring here!

DS will be 4 months on Saturday and for the last week or so night time sleep has been tough. He used to go down at around 9pm and only wake a couple of times before waking at 8:30-9:00am. I've been trying to move bedtime forward and introduce a consistent bedtime routine, but we have lots of relatives close by who often visit after work (so early evenings) and they all want to see DS so I feel I can't stick to the same bedtime. My husband also occasionally does overtime during the week so sometimes does not get home until 7:30pm so we then struggle to fit in dinner as well as a good bedtime routine.

I've spoken to the HV and they have suggested sticking to a bedtime of 7-7:30pm no matter what. They say that during the 4 month sleep regression routine becomes key to setting good habits. So I know in theory what we should do but in practice it's hard.

The last couple of weeks have taken 1-2 hours for DS to settle and then he is up every 2 hours unless we bring him in with us (in our bed he will sleep for 4 hours at a time). He's in a next2me bedside crib because we swore we wouldn't co-sleep, but the 4 month regression has punched us in the face!

We usually put DS down asleep after much rocking/shushing. I've never really managed to get the elusive 'drowsy but awake' state - he's either awake or asleep with no in between!

Anyone had any successful strategies for dealing with this phase?

Sorry for the essay - this is my first MN post and I just wanted to ask for advice if anyone has had similar experiences and also show solidarity for others battling this regression - it is hell! Wink

WindFlower92 · 08/11/2019 15:44

It's been a month since my first post and we're STILL struggling through this regression Sad

@FiveFeetNothing I've tried routines; whatever happens, she will not settle in her cot before 2am. It's like there's a switch and from then on she's happy to stay down until about 9am. Which is a massive improvement from only going down at 7am! So no suggestions as such, but I have started using the Huckleberry app - you log all sleep/feeding/nappy changes, and after 3 days they analyse your data and give you a sleep schedule to try. Just try not to throw your phone across the room at the introduction when it tells you your baby should now be sleeping 11 hours at night now!

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FiveFeetNothing · 08/11/2019 21:45

Thanks @WindFlower92 - I will look into that app! I do worry we are trying to impose a routine when we should be letting DS take the lead with tired signals etc. We do look for them and try and put him down as soon as we see the first signs of tiredness, but he always seems so reluctant to sleep

I’m currently trying to settle him now but I’ve been at this since 7:30. I wouldn’t mind so much if he slept for more than 12 hours at a time when he does finally settle.

I’m sorry to hear you’ve been going through this for a whole month - even when people tell you it’s just a phase it doesn’t help when you’re living through it! Hopefully you get some better nights soon..

FiveFeetNothing · 08/11/2019 21:46

1-2 hours*

I know better than to wish for 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep - one can only dream that were possible!

WindFlower92 · 09/11/2019 11:12

@FiveFeetNothing 12 hours will eventually happen! She slept a little better last night; 12-3 and then 6-9! Amazing what a difference it makes! Fingers crossed she keeps improving!

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Laura1609 · 13/11/2019 13:38

I’ll join the 4 month regression club too 🙋‍♀️ We’re currently on week 5 and DS is waking every 1-2 hours. Before this he would still wake twice in the night for a feed but he’d go back to sleep (usually in our bed) and that was manageable but now, he wakes crying so much even when he’s cuddled up to me in bed. The sleep deprivation is the worst, I actually think that this is harder than the newborn days because at least they were sleepy in the day. Now, he’s almost 5 months he wants so much entertaining that I feel I’ve got to be “switched on” at all times and then once 7pm hits we get the “bed dread”

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