Newborn will only sleep in our arms

[BL24]

So I’m getting rather panicky about my partner going back to work soon as I’ll be doing the nights all on my own. But our little boy will not sleep on his own and will only sleep when he’s held. We’ve tried letting him go in to a deep sleep and then putting him down but he always wakes up. I’ve even tried putting my tshirt next to him for comfort.

I tried talking to the midwife but all I got was “he’s a newborn he will want comfort” which I get but I’m literally getting no sleep at all. On top of that I’m literally getting sick of people saying to sleep when he sleeps. When I physically can’t because he wants to be held. We’ve tried different places for him to sleep. Such as his Moses basket, carry cot and cot but nothing works.

I’m becoming so stressed about it and I hate when night comes because I know I’m literally going to get no sleep.

Any advice would be great!

I got the side sleeping cot thing to put right next to my side of the bed. We bought it when DD was three weeks old and we were both half delirious with lack of sleep out of desperation. It was the best thing we ever did. From the first night she slept better (in fact the first night she slept six hours in a chunk which at that point was so surprising we both woke up in a panic thinking something bad had happened!) and we did too. It was lovely having her close and being able to pull her into bed easily for night feeds, it really made all the difference.

Warm the cot, swaddle (it was like turning off a switch as I swaddled my youngest. A friend over at the time commented it was like magic!) and find out what temperature they like.

My DD is a summer baby and when it got cold we bought her a zip up suit to wear outside. First time in it she fell asleep! She liked being warm. Still does 9 years later. I can tell when she's too cold at night as she suddenly wakes up with bad dreams or sore arms/feet/tummy. Change the duvet according to the season and add a blanket and she sleeps through again.

She even calls me "the best warm Mummy"

Safe Co-sleeping too.

Good luck.

I ended up getting a very firm memory foam type pillow that fitted between the two sets of pillows on our king size bed lengthways & letting ds sleep on that covered with a blanket, made sure the duvet was well away from him. As he gets a bit bigger, let him fall asleep in his bouncy chair if you have one during the day & then his cot, I even put mine's bouncy chair in his cot reclined nearly flat because he would sleep in it. Do whatever you have to do to get them & you some sleep.

I'd definitely recommend swaddling (we had the gro bag swaddle), white noise and a next to me crib. Although I remember well the first few weeks many nights my DD was the same. Nothing quite prepares you for the tiredness but it really will pass soon! My DD seemed happier to be put down during the day so I could get an hour of sleep then. You could also try safe co sleeping if baby just wants to be close to you. I think eventhough your husband goes back to work he should still be helping you at night if possible, particularly at the early stage when sleep is so difficult!

Shifts- DH took him from after dinner til 11 when he went to bed (just brought him for boob if needed) then at 6 for an hour or two including walking the dogs. That got me through for a long time then we had a long spell of cosleeping as one or both of us was full of cold for MONTHS

My ds1 was like this. Nightmare.
Google the pick up put down method. That did work a bit.

Also worth trying one of those vibrating bouncy chairs for daytime at least.

They do eventually get better, promise.

We used a sleepyhead and had a clip on breathing monitor just for my own peace of mind. To be honest he didn't take to the sleepyhead much at first so we co slept following guidelines. I realised I was at risk of co sleeping accidentally anyway and it was safer to actually prepare the bed and lay in the correct position for co sleeping rather than dropping off in an unsafe way because I was scared of sleeping with him. My first baby wasn't like this but the second one would not be put down at all - it's so hard but it will get better. Also used the white noise womb sound thingy - not sure if it worked but worth a try!

My DD was like this. 10 days after her birth I bought a Sleepyhead and she slept in it! It was like magic!

Oh and we introduced a dummy. She loves it. I didn't swaddle but friends have and said it works well.

There is a brilliant book about co sleeping by Deborah Jackson called Three in a Bed. Lots of research, info and all the safety stuff.
I had a Velcro baby, had her in a sling all day and in with us at night.
Also look up Third Trimester .

Congratulations

Can anyone help I have a 9 week old who will only sleep on me or my partner as soon as he is put down in his moses or cot he instantly wakes and will not settle again he has done this since we brought him home. I've bought all kinds to make both beds more comfortable but nothing is working at night he will only sleep next to me in my bed and will only nap when I'm holding him meaning I can't get anything done and rarely get any sleep he has suffered with reflux and wind which hasn't helped

Maybe read the thread? It’s completely normal newborn need.

My first was like this. She didn’t sleep on her own for more than 20 minutes until she was a year old. Would sleep for hours on me or in the moving push chair (if it stopped moving then she instantly woke). I wish that I had just gone with it but I tried everything as lots of people gave their advice telling me how to get her to sleep and that she should be sleeping. I felt useless about it and wasn’t until my second that I really twigged that it wasn’t anything that I was doing wrong.

She also didn’t sleep on her own through the night until 2. Co sleeping was really only thing that worked. Your baby is still very young but I would invest in an attachment to bed so that the baby is safely close to you and you can keep your hand touching him all night.

Just wanted to say thanks for everyone’s advice. We got a co sleeping crib and put in a bed time routine. He’s nine weeks old now and when it comes to night time he will now happily go on his crib and fall asleep on his own around 9ish and doesn’t get up till half one!

Look up how to safely cosleep. Newborns thrive on closeness, they’re tiny mammals. It gets better!

Oooops just noticed how old the thread is! Glad it’s all worked out OP

Our DD was like this. Sat up all night holding her until i bought a Sleepyhead. It was a life changer for us

swaddle, dummy, white noise. Stuff the bed sheets down your top all day so they smell like you