8mo wakes every 30/40 mins day and night!

[onetwofive]

Help me someone! My lovely DS2 is the happiest of babies but can't connect sleep cycles. Have been trying the Tracy Hogg approach, applied pick up/put down to naps and that definitely has helped to get him down in the first place. BUT it doesn't seem to make the blindest bit of difference whether he's fed to sleep or gone down in that fabled "awake but drowsy" state; he still wakes up 30/40 mins later. Occasionally an hour and a bit. With naps it's not breaking us too much as I can either pick him up to get him back to sleep or just make sure he has another couple of naps but at night time - omg. Put him down at 18:30/19:00, he'll just keep waking up all evening and then the night too. The problem is that it's partial awakenings so he won't settle back to sleep by himself, I have to pick him up, but atm he is instantly falling asleep on my shoulder. Then I have to try to get him down in his cot without waking him up which can take a Very Long Time. Atm I'm up and down all evening till I go to bed, then I'll pop in one or two more times, then normally at 11 something I give in and bring him in the bed with us as who could actually function going in every half an hour all night, every night? Unfortunately even in the bed he still tosses and turns and feeds a lot all night, so none of us are getting brilliant sleep. I just don't know what to do. If I try to settle him in his cot his crying just escalates.

Anyone resolved a similar situation? X

Following with huge interest!
My DS is 11 months, he used to sleep almost 12 hours no waking ( so I know he has it in him!) til we moved him into his own room.
His naps very rarely exceed 40 mins ( he has 2 a day) and he goes to bed at a similar time to yours.
If we are very lucky he will go til half 10 then he wakes regularly and I am falling into the trap of having in him bed and DH is relegated to the air bed.
I've been trying to research it, but I cant just leave him to cry and this " shushing and patting" malarky will not cut it for my little one! I pick him up but just cannot get him back down. This has been ongoing since January and is currently the worst its been. I know he is teething but surely it cant be that every hour of every night?

Tonight im going to try sleeping in his room next to his cot, to see if that helps at all.

So, sorry I dont have any advice- but I'm right there with you!

I sympathise and you are not alone! Again I’ve got no advice I’m afraid but interested in any positive replies you get. I could have written your post except that my DD is 5 months. Every 30-45 mins at night she needs resettling. Like you she’s ended up in bed with me which DH isn’t keen on as he’s on the sofa. I’ve tried so hard with the pick up put down and shushing/ patting but she’s stubborn and wants to either nurse or be held. I’ve no idea how to break this cycle!

Good to know I've got some sleepless buddies! Sometimes I just think eh, it's a phase, just go with the flow, it won't be like this forever... other times I think for the love of God why can't you sleep! Even having to go into his room a couple of times a night for a feed would seem amazing. Some people have no idea how easy they have it

Some stuff I read says that it passes and suddenly their sleep just sorts itself out. Some people are adamant that you must sleep train whilst others say they never did and babies just learn it along the way... who knows??!!
I am however sick of going to baby groups and hearing mums complaining about babies that wake every 3 hours! I think that would be a dream come true for me!!!

Sorry ladies, following with interest and desperation!

Exactly loumou... sometimes I think eh it's just a phase, other times I think he could still be like this in a year's time! I'm going to a family do next weekend and so stressed that I'm going to spend 90% of the evening upstairs with DS!

Lancslass welcome to the sleep deprived club

My DD was like this, at 2.5 she sleeps through most nights. They all get there in their own time, it's tough but you'll get through

My lo pretty much did this from 4-9 months. He's almost 10 months now and wakes up twice a night (between 7pm-7am) which seems amazing to the 10 times he was doing. I tried different things but nothing seemed to work (though I've never tried controlled crying or similar), just one day he started sleeping longer. I co slept through the worst of it though not sure I got any more sleep doing that it did save me getting out of bed.

This is my baby too! She was a great sleeper until around December when she was 5 months and she started waking constantly. This continued until last week (now 8 and a bit months) when suddenly she started sleeping 7.30pm til around 5am. We have made no changes to routines etc and I have been avoiding sleep training as I just don't want to do it. The only think I can think of is that it coincided with her starting to crawl, so I don't know if she is just much more tired. now as she never stops moving. Anyway, I hope I haven't tempted fate by telling you this, at least I know she has it in her to sleep through!

This is my 8 month old! Will post more when I'm not as tired

8month old boy who wakes 7-8 times every night.::::... and has done... for 8 months.
I'm pretty sure I cry more than he does now too! I'm exhausted... my partner sleeps in the other room.... and me... I have no idea how to function anymore.

I google ideas every day, I ask everyone advice, Iv tired every single thing possible. And he doesn't sleep. People said he was hungry (not the case) people said he would be better by 6 months (not the case) people said to let him cry (I did... it lasted on and off for a while and I couldn't do it) people said he was overtired (nope) and not tired enough (definitely nope) people said that he will be better when he's older (and I look like an 80 year old woman at only 30 yrs old)
So honestly.... Iv tried it all.... tired the "best" methods and the old midwives takes.... and still nothing works.

He went to sleep at 7pm... it's now 11:30 and he's already woken 3 times. Screaming so the whole neighbourhood can hear !
Long night ahead........ I feel for you all... and your sanity that is slowly fading away 😐

Knock 3x that sounds great & ba that sounds amazing! Fingers crossed for all of us struggling it'll improve soon, Co sleeping is certainly the only way I can manage to function, mostly it's really fine but think he's getting fussier as he gets older & he's now tossing & turning a lot. Often poos in the early morning too 🙄 so is disturbed by that. I'm sure he wouldn't poo then if I wasn't feeding him all night! He was randomly awake for the day by 5/30 today too #yawn.

Poppy it sounds like you're really desperate. Do you co sleep? As mentioned, far from perfect but a definite sanity saver for me. Apologies if you already do. Seems like you're at the point where something's gotta give though - are you in a position to hire a sleep consultant? I've toyed with the idea a few times....

When ds1 was 8 months old he was waking every 1 to 1 and a half hours. I was on my knees and had a visit from the health visitor. She let be borrow her book 'teach your child to sleep'. I had already read as many sleep books as I could but this was a game changer. It had flow charts, step by step instructions and information not opinions. It also gave options and did not preach just one method. I followed the methods 'gradual withdrawal / gradual retreat ' as ds1 was feeding all night and could not self settle at all. It took a few months but by 1 year he was sleeping 12 hours every night with 3 good naps. It was not easy and did involve some crying but it was worth it!

Thanks for the input lori! That sounds good, I'm just not sure what technique to use with DS as the whole night it's partial awakenings, so feels like I can't apply the usual sleep training techniques as he's not really awake iyswim...

I thought I'd read that their sleep cycles are 45 mins so unless your baby can self soothe they will always wake and need settled.

Yes that's right sunshine but what I was saying is that even if he self soothes to sleep in the first place, he's up all night x

I found that I had to tackle it all together so gradually went from feeding to sleep to putting him in his cot fully awake and walking out the room and went from feeding every hour or so to not feeding at all. As I progressed through the stages he decreased his number of wakings. At first I was sleeping on a mattress in his room and having him next to me but then I went to getting him out of the cot and holding him, usually for at least 20minutes. It took a good couple of days to get him used to each stage and we did go back a step on holiday or when he was ill. I found though that the main problem with sleep problems is that you are too tired to deal with them effectively!!!

Ah this is me too. 9 months Little girl. Feeds all bloody night, up regularly all evening and and naps never last longer than 45 minutes. She's actually got bags under her eyes today. She's sooooo tired and so am I. So what are we all going to do then ay? 😭😴🥴

Thanks lori, sounds like you did just the right thing! I think I probably need to persevere with the going down awake thing; maybe after a while it would make a difference. Good luck everyone. I think the hardest part is feeling like a bad mum! I am having a total fail morning on the nap front (normally the morning nap is fairly reliable) and keep being hit with that feeling of "if I just had a bit more backbone/persevered/was less of a softie he'd be sleeping better"

You are definitely not a bad mum. After having 3 ds I realised the sleep is a bit like a lottery. Some children are just better sleepers than others and with some you need to actively teach them. Ds1 is now turning into a teenager and after years of early wakings I now can't get him up in the morning. Unfortunately I can't get him to go to sleep at night either! The battle never ends!!!!!

Thanks lori. We often laugh and comfort ourselves with the thought that eventually we'll have two teenagers we can't drag out of bed! I remember frequently lying in till lunchtime as a teen now if I had a day all to myself I think I'd struggle to stay in bed past 8

Well ladies I've gone for it tonight. Sort of tried not to feed him to sleep - think he dropped off just after unlatching, but then woke up when I put him down so I just decided to go for it and try to settle him in his cot. Took an hour and a quarter of a lot of crying, some not so bad, some awful, used our whispbear towards the end (who knows whether that's a good thing or helped) and just did everything I could to calm him. In the end it was when I gave up and stood up with my hands over my eyes that he suddenly drifted off now I just have to work out what to do when he next wakes. Luckily DH is offering to help but not sure exactly how to play it, he'll need feeding at some point soon. (DS not DH ) good luck to everyone for a good night!

I’ve had three and they’re all like this until about 18 months. They do all sleep through the night eventually. I’d throw out the books, enjoy the cuddles and just get through it as best you can.

Ps in my experience the going down awake thing is just torture for you and them. Cuddling to sleep is much nicer! But I won’t lewve babies to cry so your call

Thing is Oly, I'm v aware that as we are DS is really not sleeping well, as he's waking so frequently, sleeping lightly, tossing & turning etc. Plus, if I feed him to sleep there's the inevitable struggle of trying to get him down without waking him, which is very hard to achieve and can take forever - and then you have the prob that when he wakes, he's naturally startled and upset not to be where he was when he fell asleep. So it's a far from ideal situation otherwise I'd keep doing it