8mo wakes every 30/40 mins day and night!

[onetwofive]

Help me someone! My lovely DS2 is the happiest of babies but can't connect sleep cycles. Have been trying the Tracy Hogg approach, applied pick up/put down to naps and that definitely has helped to get him down in the first place. BUT it doesn't seem to make the blindest bit of difference whether he's fed to sleep or gone down in that fabled "awake but drowsy" state; he still wakes up 30/40 mins later. Occasionally an hour and a bit. With naps it's not breaking us too much as I can either pick him up to get him back to sleep or just make sure he has another couple of naps but at night time - omg. Put him down at 18:30/19:00, he'll just keep waking up all evening and then the night too. The problem is that it's partial awakenings so he won't settle back to sleep by himself, I have to pick him up, but atm he is instantly falling asleep on my shoulder. Then I have to try to get him down in his cot without waking him up which can take a Very Long Time. Atm I'm up and down all evening till I go to bed, then I'll pop in one or two more times, then normally at 11 something I give in and bring him in the bed with us as who could actually function going in every half an hour all night, every night? Unfortunately even in the bed he still tosses and turns and feeds a lot all night, so none of us are getting brilliant sleep. I just don't know what to do. If I try to settle him in his cot his crying just escalates.

Anyone resolved a similar situation? X

My one and only baby was exactly the same, slept for 40 minutes, it was horrendous. I'm not sure how old your baby is, so may not be appropriate yet.

Custard for supper, made from Birds custard powder and full fat milk, it gradually went from 3 hours to a full nights sleep.

How's everyone doing? We had two amazing nights of 7pm-2 something, but that hasn't happened again. Now he's going down awake (tonight was the first time it happened with virtually no crying, just lots of tossing and turning) but he's waking up a lot sooner but randomly-could be 10 or 11 or even earlier, then has a feed, put down asleep, then not long till the next wake up at which point I'm too tired & lazy so bring him into bed. Occasionally he just feeds and then sleeps well but a lot of the time now he's tossing and turning interminably so neither of us are sleeping well. Argh it's such a pain. Now I know that he can technically go for 7/8 hours without a feed but if he wakes up at 10 and I feed him like right now he feeds really hungrily so it's hard to imagine phasing this out easily. I guess I need to woman up and start settling him without feeding at at least some of the night wakings.

Hope others are having better luck! Sorry to hear about teething, colds and holidays putting spanner's in the works...

Can I join?

I'm broken. I hate my life. 6 month old DS who doesn't sleep at night.

Course you can mississippilessly - love the name by the way! "Did you count to 10?!"

Hope you have some progress soon. Cosleeping is certainly the only thing that saved/saves me! On the other hand it also makes me too lazy to push through with the actual night time sleep training. I so thought I'd nailed it a couple of weeks ago with him going down awake! I think I'm going to try tonight to settle him without feeding at least once or twice. Wish me luck all - and good luck to you, and happy Mother's Day! We are all amazing! Xxx

7-2 does sound amazing! They tease us don't they! We had another random 2 hour stint last night, must be something about Saturday nights!!

We had a decent night last night by our standards. Down at 6.45, fed at 10, wouldn't go back in cot so co-slept. Woke at 3 and again at 4.30 but went back and woke at 7.15.
That's a very good night for us. Which is galling.

I've not rtft but I started leaving my dd to cry, first 30 seconds, then 60, then 100 and she's usually back asleep by 100 now. I don't get out of bed when I hear her.

Do you have the monitor on in your room to listen out for them? Maybe try turning it off - I don't have it on now - and I'll always hear when she actually needs me for something. The little inbetween cries I probably don't pick up as she falls back to sleep pretty easily now.

Hi all!
Would I be able to join in please?
My 6 month old is a terrible sleeper. She has just been diagnosed as having a milk and egg allergy and has awful eczema as a result so I'm reluctant to leave her to cry it out as she scratches and I'm worried about infection.
She currently feeds to sleep on a night with naps during the day in the push chair while on a walk or in the car.
I'm exhausted!!

So good to know that there are other people struggling with sleepless babies! I've given up my attempts at PUPD, got to the stage where she would fall asleep in her cot after a short battle but still wake up half an hour later. She seems to really hate the cot, which is probably my fault for letting her co-sleep. I've now taken the side off the cot and turned it into a co-sleeper. Im hoping I can teach her that her cot is safe and gently teach her to self settle without constantly getting out of bed and doing my back in!

Miss that does sound like a good night! Don't think we've ever had a five hour stretch. Tbh as we co-sleep I just don't check the clock when she wakes so I often don't really know or remember how long she's slept or how often she wakes. It really helps my sanity and I fall back to sleep pretty easily, whereas with my first I'd feel frustrated at the time then not be able to get back to sleep!!

Now I have left her to cry for short periods, eg when I'm seeing to my toddler or if I'm getting frustrated or just have to eat etc. It makes no difference, she just turns from grizzling to crying and won't settle herself. Occasionally when she has a long stretch I'll see her on the monitor turning her head or coughing and going back to sleep so she does settle herself sometimes but if she cries then it's game over! I have a few friends doing CC at the moment and I'm really reluctant to go down that route as they seem to have to re-do it every few weeks

Lou I totally agree we should try to make their cot feel like a safe space but don't beat yourself up or feel like you've done anything wrong. My first DD always hated her cot because she associated it with sleep (no matter how we got her to sleep!) and missing out! Now she's in a big girl bed she finally likes it, I think as she can control it she stays in there!!!

We had a reasonable night last night, she slept for 2.5 hours in the evening so I actually got to have a nice dinner with my husband for once! Then today she had a four hour nap in her buggy (just in the house) which she's never done before! No idea what tonight is gonna be like but just going to go with the flow!

To be fair the clocks went forward so it was only 4 hours!

Dandelion - course you can, welcome.

How is everyone doing? We're not in habit of DS going down awake mostly, but still waking every 2 - 3 hours, including exactly as I sit down to eat dinner generally I know I've got to stop feeding him at night but struggling to drum up the willpower! Also concerned he may need to feed once/twice/several times as his daytime feeds are totally erratic and can b v frequent; if he's waking it's going to be really tricky to decide when to feed him and when to refuse just heard DH going to be home late because he put off a project till this afternoon so may have to put both DCs to bed myself. Haven't had to do this since I put DS2 on a routine so could be fun... good luck everyone, hope all have a good weekend with a chance to rest even if the nights aren't so good.

I have an 8 month old who is the same. most she sleeps is 45mins but it's often only 5 minutes. I can't cope any more I've been crying all day and looking into sleep consultants but they are so expensive and I really can't see what they would do that I haven't tried.

We have gone completely backwards. He wont go to sleep in his cot now. Last night would not stay asleep in it. I ended up having to go to sleep fully clothed with him.
All I wanted to do was remove a shellac manicure. I ended up tearing the damn thing off.
So fed up.

Argh that sounds really tough both of you: I think it's worth trying a sleep consultant if things are that bad - I considered it when I was feeling desperate, it's less dire for us now just far from ideal. But I think if you're in that state of almost being unable to cope it's worth doing anything to help yourself. Sending good sleep vibes to everyone!

Oh desperate that's sounds tough, I don't think people understand unless they have a truly sleepless baby. My DD has many nights where it's between every 10 and 30 mins. Please get yourself help in whatever form you need, I've looked at sleep consultants but agree that unless they are going to hypnotise her into sleeping then what's the point?!

I've given up my attempts at PUPD, just seemed to be telling her that if she cries I'll pick her up, didn't seem to be helping her sleep! I'm now trying a sort of controlled crying but I'm staying with her patting, shushing, kissing and reassuring her to support her to sleep by herself. It's tough but it does seem that she's starting to learn the idea.

loumoo- I have just been reading about the shushing, patting technique as I am pretty sure that this is what the sleep consultant uses. You are right it is just a form of controlled crying but a little less harsh because you are there (well maybe some babies would stop crying at a shhh but mine certainly wouldn't.) I really didn't want to do controlled crying but I don't think I have a choice as I am actually feeling like I hate my baby now and I can't cope any more.

@desparate4sleep you poor thing. It can be such a nightmare. I definitely think if you are feeling like that you need to do whatever's necessary to restore your sanity. Fair enough if you don't want to try a sleep consultant (although I think it could be worth it) but if not can you rope in some extra help from husband/mum/sister/close friend while you're at this really low ebb? Catch up on some sleep this weekend if you can? You don't want to get into a scary place re hating your baby. Not judging AT ALL, just want to help

How's everyone doing? DS has been terrible the last night and so far tonight - up 3 times already since I put him down! If it carries on like last night it'll be another night of tossing and turning and not sleeping well. Wah. Going away over Easter but once we're back I think I'm going to have to take it to the next level! I really would love to be able to go out in the evening

Sorry you are having a rubbish night. I'm on the 4th wake up of the night so far which might sound bad but this is the best she has been for ages. I am trying to get into a really good routine before sleep training after Easter (secretly praying that she starts sleeping so I don't have to).

Can I join in? My DC is absolutely breaking me. It’s been 13 months since I’ve slept for more than an hour or two at a time. I am so tired and angry all the time as a consequence. She just won’t sleep anywhere except on me, and won’t co-sleep (unless you count me sitting upright and holding her, which I don’t, as I can’t sleep like that). My back and neck and shoulders are killing me all the time. I am short tempered, gaining weight and just so fed up. I adore her, but I absolutely dread every single night time because I know that every 20 minutes I am going to be woken up by screaming.

We’ve tried sleep training and controlled crying, but she just gets absolutely hysterical, shows no signs of stopping whatsoever, and it just means all 4 of us are awake all night and utterly miserable. And the poor neighbours!

My husband does his best, but he needs sleep too, and she only really wants me. So he ends up getting up with her at about 4 every single morning, which is crap for him too. I am absolutely at breaking point .

That sounds awful. My DD is 8months and is the same with only sleeping on me she is so heavy now I feel crushed so I can't imagine how it must feel at 13months. How long did you try controlled crying for?