8mo wakes every 30/40 mins day and night!

[onetwofive]

Help me someone! My lovely DS2 is the happiest of babies but can't connect sleep cycles. Have been trying the Tracy Hogg approach, applied pick up/put down to naps and that definitely has helped to get him down in the first place. BUT it doesn't seem to make the blindest bit of difference whether he's fed to sleep or gone down in that fabled "awake but drowsy" state; he still wakes up 30/40 mins later. Occasionally an hour and a bit. With naps it's not breaking us too much as I can either pick him up to get him back to sleep or just make sure he has another couple of naps but at night time - omg. Put him down at 18:30/19:00, he'll just keep waking up all evening and then the night too. The problem is that it's partial awakenings so he won't settle back to sleep by himself, I have to pick him up, but atm he is instantly falling asleep on my shoulder. Then I have to try to get him down in his cot without waking him up which can take a Very Long Time. Atm I'm up and down all evening till I go to bed, then I'll pop in one or two more times, then normally at 11 something I give in and bring him in the bed with us as who could actually function going in every half an hour all night, every night? Unfortunately even in the bed he still tosses and turns and feeds a lot all night, so none of us are getting brilliant sleep. I just don't know what to do. If I try to settle him in his cot his crying just escalates.

Anyone resolved a similar situation? X

I agree onetwofive, I would be more than happy to rock and cuddle my DD to sleep each time if she then slept for a decent length of time! Not that I've tried it but I swear she's sleep through the night if she could do it in my arms!!!

I'm trying to get dd to sleep, I cant continue with the constant feeding to sleep every 45 minutes, its killing me.

I had a sleep consultant, but it didn't work!

I had one like this, I agree with pp it’s just a case of get through the hellish bit. OP I like that phrase “fabled awake but drowsy” - there is so much nonsense to read on the internet that leaves you feeling like a bad mum if this doesn’t happen. DD2 is much more amenable to going down awake, tho not always and less so as she gets older, but DD1 no way and I am sure this was in the main about her character rather than our failings as parents. Although I felt exactly the same as you at the time. DD2 is 6mo so I’m going through good weeks and bad and it just feels so desperate at times doesn’t it. I loved a book by la Leche league ‘sweet sleep’ that just made cosleeping, feeding all night and all the gentle choices that you have made sound normal, natural and ok. I found having a more relaxed attitude and beating myself up less made me less tired. I find the nights where I get frustrated and pissed off, I feel worst the next day.

I found the problem with ds1 was even when we Co-slept and I fed him at night he slept horrendously and it got worse and worse. He would wake after an hour or so, I would feed him, he would not settle so I would try again, he would cry, I would feed him, he eventually would fall asleep only for the process to be repeated after another hour or so. I can guarantee that sleep deprivation that bad was torture. I could not make decisions, would walk into door frames, accidentally cut myself, drop things, it was awful. I had to do something and although hard work I never left him to cry and by the end everyone was happier.

Merename and lori, it's great to have input from ladies who have been there and done that - thank you.

Well ladies, it's happening! I've been giving it another push this week. I've gone for the technique of not picking up at all but doing everything possible to comfort him in his cot. Monday night was an hour and a half of crying Tuesday night was an hour, both those nights he slept a lot longer than usual afterwards. Last night took half an hour of crying and then he slept from 7pm till 2:15 am! I couldn't believe it! Then he woke up and wasn't even crying, I could just hear him shifting around and my boobs were rock hard a little full so I went and fed him. Then he was randomly just awake for a while but perfectly happy. I thought he'd done a poo so I changed his nappy but it turned out just to be a very smelly wee then I was worried he would make a lot of noise and wake up DS1 if I put him back in his cot so I just brought him in with me and he fell asleep fairly quickly by feeding again, then slept till maybe 5 before needing the other side, woke properly at about 7 or so. So all in all an incredibly good night! I'm not quite sure how to deal with the night wakings atm as a lot of noise during the early hours would probably wake DS1, but I'll figure it out. Even if the next few nights aren't as good, I know he can do it now! He wasn't even desperate for a feed after nearly 8 hours - I never thought that was possible and was worried about starving him! Good luck to anyone else giving it a go, there is hope after all

By Monday and Tuesday i mean Saturday and Sunday

Well done! I was always comforted by the knowledge that I never left him to cry just did what I could to comfort him without constant breastfeeding! You will get there!!!

Onetwofive is that when he wakes after gping down or are you putting down awake? X

Can I join you ladies please!! Have 6 month old DD who won't even last a sleep cycle 😭
We have holidays soon so not even trying anything but have been considering controlled crying in a month or so. Now thinking the soothing in cot may be worth a go. God it's such hard work isn't it! I went for a coffee today with some mums with little ones around the same age and watched their babies happily fall asleep in the pram and just on mum's lap. Then I went and walked mine in the pram for 2 hours as she was hideously overtired 😭

Oh no I killed the thread! 😱

Haha don't worry namechange! Of course you can join us, and I totally know what you mean about other mums not realising how lucky they have it!
Lancslass that was awake although I have let him fall asleep a couple of times, put him down asleep and then done the crying in cot when he woke up. Last night I put him down asleep and he still slept till 02:30 :)
We're away tonight so I'm too scared to put him down awake for fear of him screaming the house down, also can't reach to stroke him in the travel cot without breaking my back! So I'm being a wuss and hoping I'll get away with it. Fingers crossed the whispbear will continue to work his magic too. How is everyone else doing?

I'm too sleep deprived to have even noticed the new comments on here! We have just started the pick up put down technique as my LO is too young for CC (and I'm not sure I'd cope!). It's hard work but it's getting easier, she still won't link sleep cycles though! We started on Wednesday night and did PUPD at bedtime until she needed a feed at 11 and then she just came into bed with me as I was too tired to continue but she slept for 4 hours, woke for a feed and did another 5 hours. Ok it's still not in the cot but a massive improvement on what she was doing! Now trying to keep her in her cot all night so we'll see how that goes...

Just to say cc is not the only option. We found pupd did not work for us so did the gradual withdrawal/retreat method. Much gentler than cc but takes longer.

Yeah I've been wondering about whether to try pick up put down. Just worried that I'll have one of those stubborn babies I've read about that takes like three hours to go down 😬 I also think she'd cry a fair amount too so wondering if CC might be quicker and therefore involve less crying!!
I don't think gradual retreat would work for us at this stage as she just wants to be picked up. I also thought about just trying to soothe her in the cot but again can foresee that involving a huge amount of crying too as I always try that before picking her up and she gets very upset that I'm not picking her up! Argh these babies. We're visiting friends this weekend and I'm half tempted just to bring her in the sling for the evening so I don't miss half the evening settling baby upstairs!!!

Namechange I definitely sympathise. We are making some progress with PUPD, I have actually found it's allowed me to pat and sush in the cot which was impossible before! I know I then need to also withdraw this support but at least she's now falling asleep in her cot not our arms! You are right there is a lot of crying involved but I figure at least with PUPD you are there to comfort them, I don't have anything against CC but I really think DD would cry for hours, she's pretty determined!

Hey it's namechange here, can't be bothered to change again! How long did pick up put down take the first few nights? Just trying to set myself some realistic expectations... are you doing it for naps too or just nighttime sleep?

My experience is that it gets better soon. I wish I hadn't wasted so much energy trying to sort it.

I thought that too Cotton, tried so much with my first, bu DC2 is so much worse and I can't take it 😭

Namechange - I started at bedtime when I knew she'd be tired, took and hour on the first night, then 40 mins next time she woke. It then got quicker so longest since has been 30 mins but much less crying and picking up as she's got the general hang of it. Still think it's going to take us a while to get a decent stretch of sleep out of her though! I have been doing naps too but find it harder to know if she's definitely tired!

Cottonsock I'm keeping everything crossed that you're right

She now has an awful cough and cold so all hopes of sleep training abandoned!! If it's not one thing...!!!

Tumtitum my DD has just started teething so we too have abandoned sleep training for now!

How's everyone getting on? DD is still a snotty mess so no sleep training here and we have a long holiday coming up so can't really do anything about her sleep until May! 😭 currently only getting one half an hour sleep at the start of the evening when I quickly cook dinner then she won't be put down so I end up watching tv on my phone until I give up trying to put her down and we go to bed 😭 she's started doing some long naps in the day in her pram so il tempted to try putting her to sleep in the evenings in there but it just seems such a bad habit to start!!! 🙈

Oh and we had one random night of two hours sleep in the evening last week when we'd given her some calpol for her cold but I haven't been able to replicate it since! Frustrating beyond belief! 😭

One This is really simple!!!

He is only having one sleep cycle (40 mins) and then waking up. Normally he would have one then go straight in to another.

All you need to do is during day time naps when he has had 30 mins go in a gently disturb him but not enough to wake him. He will go in to another cycle.

It really works.