We're still not sleeping

[Meepmoop]

New thread for those whose babies are avoiding sleeping through.

My DS is now 11 months old today..

Margarita, sounds like they were pants, not you or dd!!! She's had 2 naps there, that's a really great start! Make sure her key worker knows what you do at home, he/she really should be prepared to do the same, especially as dd has only just started there! Extremely unreasonable if not!!! I'd be asking for a new key worker or changing nursery if they not prepared to do their best for your baby. But, early days for everyone so got to give it a chance. She's done great and so have you.

Don't know if you saw, but I'm taking ds out of nursery because he only has 30mins sleep all day. He's been there 2.5 days a week for 4mnths now and not improved. Nursery have been fab and tried absolutely everything, but they can't do anything about the set up of the rooms. The cots are open to the room and my duracell bunny see others playing, and that's that! I'm putting him with a childminder. He won't start fire a few weeks yet but when he does, I'll check back on here and see how you're getting on and give a report. He's 14mo now, need his sleep to become a bit more predictable!!!

The thing is I warned them. I said she doesn't sleep very well or eat very well. And it was like they were surprised! I said if you put a hand on her face after her milk she will settle. But she's in a room full of other children, adults she doesn't know, toys and is so confused probably that no wonder she can't sleep. I wouldn't either! I just can't believe they'd pull faces like she was some kind of naughty kid :(

Hay - cross post. I'm hoping to leave work in a couple of months because we're looking to move somewhere cheaper and I won't need to work then. It's so hard putting your trust in people :(

It is yeah! Defo have a chat with them. Hopefully it's a misunderstanding or misinterpreting body language. Hopefully!

Hi everyone! For some reason I stopped getting notifications from the thread. It's my day off today so I was checking how everyone is doing and give an update.
It's been 1.5 weeks since I went back to work (30h over 4 days) and DD went to nursery 2.5 weeks ago. I found that her start while I was still off was really for the best. I was worried all the time and I felt more at ease going back to work after she was more settled in nursery. She goes 5 days a week from 8am to 18h. It's a long time. She has been settling well I think, at least compared to what I thought. She usually has one nap of maximum 1 hr around lunch time and gets home totally overtired. She enjoys playing and has been feeding better. It's a totally different diet so it has been upsetting her bowls. She as a lot of wind. Same happened when we start weaning.
First day she did a morning and didn't sleep at all. From the second day she started napping but not more than once and not more than 30 min. 3rd day she started doing the full day. Second week she got sick with cold and then a virus (fever, a lot of grumpiness overnight) which is resolving. She actually had a 2h nap the day she was down... Nursery was chocked. It didn't happen again. :p I asked to try and put her down for a morning nap. She always naps in the morning at home and it's the best one she has. She did 35 min and then 20 min pm (it seems white noise suddenly stopped and she woke up). She was once more overtired by the time she got home. When she arrives its Bath BF, story and bed. She has to be rocked and many times falls asleep on the breast. Nights have been absolutely horrible (did I mentioned I'm back to work?) so so many wake ups that I can't count. I don't sleep a 1hr block... She wakes up tired and so do I. Its a zombie house. DH was saying to start sleep training again but because she is overtired when she gets home I think I should wait for weekend... @Limpshade thank you for sharing. That's very similar to what I did twice in the past. Except I was doing it all. I'll try again in the weekend.
I don't think there's a word for how I feel at the moment. Exhaustion doesn't do it... Work is a struggle. My colleagues say I look great. I don't feel great. I can see in my thinking process and just in my day to day the struggle to try and be organised. I miss things, nothing serious so far. I used to be so competent. I keep thinking I may have to give up from the new career challenge I got myself into... But its such a great opportunity. I don't know if I can do it all... If only I could sleep 2/3h blocks... I hope it improves soon.
@WhoAteAllthePercyPigs HV was no help. She just agrees with what I decide. She is lovely and is coming back in a few weeks to catch up. But I feel totally lost either way.

DS took 3 hours to go to sleep last night and then woke up for 3hours in the middle of the night. I feel sick this morning. I don't know how you are managing to go back to work with no sleep.
My work has conveniently made me redundant so we've made the decision for me to stay home for the time being.

DS has an operation tomorrow and will have to stay overnight. Im hoping he sleeps tonight else it's going to be a very long stressful time on no sleep. It's not anything serious but still worrying about it

Oh ladies for you all. I'm so sorry to hear about the nursery bad experiences. @frozen I'm shocked how they were with you. Have they really never encountered a baby who needs to be touched while falling asleep?? With my nursery they said they wouldn't expect my DD to get the hang of nursery napping for a few weeks and were prepared to do what it took to support her with that. They knew how anxious i was about it and were very kind. You should never be made to feel like a bad mother, that's really crap of them.

Much sympathy @bartos, it is truly amazing how you can function at work on so little sleep isn't it? Hopefully it will improve very soon, sounds like you are doing amazing regardless. Just keep on keeping!

Still no sleep over here. DD was the main culprit last night although DS joined in too. I just have to tell myself it will get better. Because it has to...

@Meepmoop so sorry to hear about your DS surgery, I hope it goes well and recovers quickly! Doesn't matter how little it is, absolutely normal that you feel worried! I mean, I am dreading the one year vaccines! And surgery is much more serious than that! Good luck for it! And I hope he doesn't give you a hard time tonight or after. Really horrible the 3h situation. When my DH says it can't get any worse I stop him right there. Yes it can! 2 night ago she was awake until 2ish screaming the house down. I think it was wind. Wind!! Teething and wind, babies and mums worse enemies
@WhoAteAllthePercyPigs sorry for you! Yes, we need to think it will improve! I'm slowing trying to resign myself that until she is 2/3 years she will always be a bad sleeper, but I'm hoping to improve with time... Maybe have a better period, a bit of a break. God, do you hear me?! Please send a bit of peace to our nights, just 2 hour blocks! I won't complain with 2 hours!
@frozen F* them!! You are wonder woman, don't take any crap from that people! And you are paying them, let's not forget that!
In our nursery I felt they were leaving her to cry for 15/20 min unattended and she had her eyes puffed and she got home. Wasn't happy and told them if she wouldn't calm down in 10 min to stop and try again later. No point in making her suffer like that, she wouldn't settle either way.
Good luck for tonight!
Had no energy to do much today. Making supper (duck rice, took me ages to shred the duck), honey cake and DH has been asking for a pear and ginger crumble... Not sure if I will have the energy for that, lucky enough I'm cooking the duck rice he was so keen for. I had so many plans for the day... No energy.

I stopped getting notifications for this thread too @Frozenmargarita17 sorry you've had such a tough time with nursery. DS did his 4th day there today and he is only sleeping 30-40 minutes a day instead of his usual 2.5 hours. The staff haven't said anything other than to let me know how he slept, sometimes they have rocked him in the buggy, sometimes in the cot. It's so tough leaving him! How do you know if they actually like it there?

I'm really struck by a few of us having the same issues with napping at nursery. We gave it 4 months and it hasn't improved, he had 20mins all day yesterday! Had over 2hrs at home today and still asleep! Hence deciding to swap to a childminder. Just doing our notice period with nursery still. I really hope making his days more regular might make his nights a bit more predictable. cue laughter

@Bartos

One year vaccs were a complete non-event here. Yes, he cried during but didn't seem to have any after effects that we noticed.

We've had some good first stretches after DS has gone down lately- up to 4 hours. And some horrendous ones where he's woken up SCREAMING (not just crying) after maybe 40 min. Calpol or another feed have got him back down but it's not been pleasant.

He's been having some later starts in the morning though. 8:15 yesterday- DH was off too so that was lovely.

His naps are variable but on the shorter end just now. Doesn't always seem to mean he's nicely tired for bed though

Hi everyone. Thank you for all the replies. Dd had a better day at nursery yesterday and was happier when I came home. No mention of naps was made at all. She only had 1 30 minute nap yesterday. We're currently trying to sell our house so we can move somewhere cheaper and I won't work until she goes to nursery when she's bigger (and won't need naps hopefully..). So I'm trying to see this as a temporary thing..

She's starting to eat a bit better which is good.

Bartos that duck rice sounds amazing

Well we're home after a long couple of days at the hospital. All went well.
You would think not being at home and having interrupted sleep with medication and checks would mean DS would be shattered and ready for his bed. Nope he's rolling around his bed like a loon.

I however have had 2 hours sleep and no proper food. I desperately need him to sleep

I’m glad the hospital visit went well and I hope you have all managed to get some sleep to recover and heal

@Meepmoop crossing my fingers you all get a break!
Survived 2nd week at work. On Thursday after 2 expressing sessions at work I only got 20 mls of milk. Was really sad. Because of her dairy allergy DD is really not keen on the hypoallergenic formula. I thought I would have to give up. But Friday I got 85 mls with one session so was really happy. And relieved, because she had again refused formula at nursery.
I really need to avoid booking important meetings for after expressing because the pressure gets to me.
Have re started sleep raining today. Morning nap was fine. No surprise there. Nights are so bad that she goes down quite easily in the morning. Still, there was a time when that had stopped happening and we were struggling. Now, I've put her down for her afternoon nap. She is definitely sleepy. Cried when I was still holding her and when I've put her down. But stopped right away. Had re started a gentle crying now. I'm praying that she doesn't cry a lot this time. I feel so tired and I don't know if I have the strength to stick to it.
She has settle to 2 naps in nursery and apparently she nevers cried to long now and self soothes quite easily. If she doesn't fall asleep in 10 min they pick her up, give her a cuddle, sometimes play a bit more, and then they try again. Same method a mum had referred her advised by her sleep consultant. Let's see. Really hoping that she learns to self sooth and hopefully that's less wake ups overnight. In the past made no difference most of the times she was still waking up and only falling back asleep in the breast.
Fingers crossed! I'll let you know how it goes. 3rd time we are doing this...

F* my life! She learned how to sit by herself!! In the evening when I started sleep training! The mattress isn't low so it's not safe to do it tonight :( although dreading it I was really keen to start today, in the hope to get some sleep soon! No! She is sitting,grabbing to the bars, can't afford to risk that she might jump out and hurt herself.
So frustrated! Another night without sleep and with neck pain from sleeping in the nursing chair

Bartos you may find sleep changes now as she will be able to use a lot more physical energy so she may sleep better at night. That's what I found with my dd

@FrozenMargarita17 I hope so! So far no changes. Still on hourly wake ups :(

Hi everyone,

Sadly we had problems with his catheter so had to go to a and e last night and I had to stay over yet again. Now home again, really hoping we don't have to go back.

Only positive is he was happy to self settle in the hospital cot, hopefully I can replicate it at home.

@Meepmoop so sorry! Hope he has a speed recovery with no other bumps! It's amazing how come life keeps throwing obstacles at sleepless mums and we still manage to carry on. Well done Meepmoop! Not everyone manages to go through all that stress as elegantly! If I were you I would be complaining soooo much!

Thank you @Bartos, it really has been a struggle especially trying to amuse DS in a&e for 5 hours! At least he's sorted now for the time being and I have my own bed. Fingers crossed I get to stay in it. We should get the all clear on Thursday morning so 3 days to get through.

Are u feeding baby though night?? I've 8month boy, he's went fro. Sleeping great at naps and through night for at least 2month, then last 3weeks all naps have some level of a fight. And he either wakes through night randomly, wakes himself because moving and hits something off cot or just wakes me having a grumble!
Since he started sleeping over night i have offered boiled water IF i need to offer anything.. mostly he wants soothed of a cuddle, i breast fed until 3month, and he loved falling asleep on boob

@MumSinceDec2017 not sure if you were asking me but yes, she feeds all night.
I don't think controlled crying will be the best way to go this time. She is moving a lot. She will sit on the top on the cot and cry grabbed to the bars. I don't think she know how to lay down...
I tried sitting by her cot with the a hand in her fully shushing and eventually she fell asleep. But after 40 min she woke up and I fed her I'm weak! I'm too sleep deprived, to tired from not sleeping, from work, from such a huge day and night struggle, to train her! I'm not sure what to do. I've asked a friend of mine for a sleep consultant contact, that her niece used and was happy with. But it's so hard to accept that I can't get my baby to sleep! Seems such a failure :( but she is 11months and I'm going nuts!