The non-sleepers are still not sleeping

[NinaMarieP]

New thread, guys!

@GimbleInTheWabe ds1 was much the same ( mayst be mad to have had another) I didn't co sleep with him though. He's just turned 2 and sleeps really well now, he's slept through since I weaned him off boob at 15 months. Must have been nothing good to wake up for anymore lol.

@FrozenMargarita17 I think my AH is the same, he hasn't said it but I think he feels displaced and un loved, but is it really my place to make him feel loved when I have 2 children to look after? He doesn't make me feel loved, just used.
He is at the moment just another thing making me Tangry.

So we're awake again here, it's like he chooses the exact moment I fell asleep to wake up.

@lizzlebizzle33 it's the same here. Used is the right word! I honestly hope it'll get better.

Dd has woken crying for her dummy twice now. Hope it isn't every hour like last night 😬

DS has just done 4 hours I could cry, it's exactly what I needed after two nights of absolute hell. Still no poops though.

Now doing a feed and hoping for more sleep but I might be pushing my luck.

Congratulations @GimbleInTheWabe how exciting!

Hope everyone gets some tonight

So many useless ahs at the moment, how selfish to focus on the fact they don't feel as loved or that you don't have time for them, rather than thinking about how their actions are making you feel. Dh will sometimes say to me, you don't seem happy today or you seem a bit out of it....of course I feel like that I'm exhausted and you're getting 8hours sleep a night.

On 5th wake up and ds won't go back to sleep, I feel like crying.

Fifth wake up and DS wide awake. So tangry. Why is he doing this???

2nd wake up and 3am nappy change done.

He mostly, usually, will now sleep until 6:30am and we get up around 7am.

He scoffs breakfast (baby rice and fruit). But he's eating more food whilst keeping up the milk intake!! 🤭
He's a little piggy.

My DS has been awake for an hour absolutely convinced it's morning. I've done a nappy change which, quite frankly, would have been easier on a greased octopus, and now ignoring him in the dark, attempting to feed him to sleep while he blows raspberries on my breast

It's such a magical time

Sorry @Worlds0kayestmum greased octopus made me chuckle. Hope you're all back to sleep now.

684th feed done here and da2 smushed up against me like he thinks I'm going to run away. I need some bed back but so scared to move him, can't be doing with another wake up 🙈

Gah
I hate my LAH so much right now there are no words. He’s such a d1ck.
Having children with someone is an eye opening experience. Frankly, we should all get married only after we’ve seen what they are like after kids

Oh no @UtterlyConfused111 hope you're okay.

Still no poop but DS seems happier and slept better so I feel a little bit better. I swapped my lie in with DH in case tonight is rubbish

@worlds0kayestmum you made me laugh too - I hope you were treasuring every moment Thank you!

@Utterlyconfused111 I'm sorry to hear your AH is being such a dick, it's just not fair on you I hope your day gets better.

We've been having some better nights with both DS1&2 - bedtime is still a bit of a struggle but it's also getting better and DS2 is back to napping in his cot, only for 30 minutes at a time, but it's an improvement. He's waking 2/3 times overnight for a feed but mostly going back down in his cot easily. Moving him to his own room was a great plan. He also rolls and sleeps on his front on side now, I looked up the recommendations on the lullaby trust website and they said once they can roll both ways on their own it is fine for them to choose their own position so I have had to swallow my fear and let him get on with it.

I've also not been on much as avoiding my phone overnight so I get back to sleep more quickly.

But last night and this morning I have another bloody stomach bug so not a lot of sleep going on for me and getting up to feed three times was absolute agony so having this thread to catch up on was so good - thank you all

Thank you @catscatsandmorecats and @meepmoop
I’m just very tangry this morning. He went to sleep in the spare room - I don’t know why but he’ll probably something like to not disturb me as he was snoring but the truth is that way he doesn’t get disturbed at night or in the mornings when the kids get up. But DD2 started at 3am last night and would not be comforted at all; I was really regretting giving up the dummy. By 5am she was almost alseep in my arms when LAH wakes for a pee. He comes in and offers to take over and because she was almost asleep I said “no it’s fine”. He then replied saying “I don’t know what that means”, I said “no shhhh go away” as she was waking up with the talking and he then said” I’ve offered don’t say I don’t help then” and is now still asleep at 830. He doesn’t do anything and I’m so fed of constantly asking. Can you go get the baby she is crying? Can you change her nappy if it’s wet? Etc
He then says I boss him around and I don’t say please and thank you enough to him.
Today I seriously want to tell him to get out of the house and not come back but I know that in this state of mind I will just lose my temper if I talk to him and then be instantly wrong footed and have to apologise - and the conversation becomes about how I can’t “control my temper”

Thanks for listening and the support though. It helps to gas off here. I wish my mum was here. I wish I had some friends or someone living closer to me that I could just talk to and cry on their shoulder. I really have no close friends or family near to me and I am usually ok with that - but down today

@UtterlyConfused I'm sorry you are feeling that way, have you told him that you feel this close to leaving? I told my OH that I was thinking of leaving him a few months ago and that I was looking for somewhere to move to, it devastated him and shook him up enough to start making changes. He's still not perfect but neither am I and we are in a much better place now. Have a hug xxx

Worlds0kayestmum 'such a magical time' isn't it? I think this about co-sleeping when she's scratching and kicking and slapping and clawing at me!

Sending you love @utterlyconfused

Trying to catch up on the thread but not because I've been sleeping a lot... ds has been rolling ALOT! About 6 times last night he was moaning as he was stuck and couldn't roll himself back into a position he wanted to sleep. It would be fine but it takes me soooo long to get to sleep that even if he's only awake for a few minutes that's at least half an hour for me 😫 can't wait until he can roll himself both ways and I can just leave him to it!

@UtterlyConfused111 you should never have to say thank you to your ah and he should certainly ever TELL you to say please and thank you! That's made me so angry! Does he say thank you to you for changing nappies etc?? Dh and I sometimes thank each other for doing the washing up but otherwise we are just parenting. I'm not surprised you're angry!

I got woken up this morning by dd absolutely SCREAMING. I heard her through my earplugs it was that loud. Dh had faffed around so much that she was starving and very unhappy.

It's like I can't have a tiny lie in because he can't / won't put her down for nap and thinks she will wait forever for food while he mucks about vaping etc.

utterly you shouldn't have to tell/ask ah to do that stuff I have to ask my ah. As for please and thank you, just no! By changing a nappy or picking up dc he isn't helping you, he is parenting. Does he thank you every time you feed/change/comfort your dc? I'm assuming not, and that he probably doesn't realise the half of what you do. I've made a point to stop saying thank you to ah for things that he should just do.

Apparently ah is tired this morning because ds woke him up twice (ds woke up 8-9times last night and was awake for an hour at 2:30) and he lay there pretending to be asleep while I struggled.
I just don't understand, when we first got married things were more equal. We both had 2 jobs and work 6 or 7 days a week, we shared housework etc but now it's all so one-sided.

I recommend the floor bed. I mean.. it was me who slept on the floor while the baby slept on the 2 grand tempur mattress with my OH but everyone got a much better night and I feel like a new woman rather than a rickety twisty old lady.

sarahockwell-smith.com/2015/06/26/why-babies-hate-cots-and-cribs-and-what-to-do-instead/

@utterlyconfused I wish I had the right words. You are worth so much more than how you are being treated. Love and for you. Remember, having two parents together is only ideal if it's making life easier and better for you and the DC. I echo what everyone has said.

Good day here, despite a shockingly tired start. Had family staying so spent the whole day with them. It's been lovely but right now I am beyond exhausted! Plan is to have wine once I've put DS down but o just want to stay up here and crawl under the sheets...only thing that's stopping me is knowing DS will likely be awake in a couple of hours so why bother?

DS met his cousin today, both boys born the same day so the exact same age. Needless to say, cousin is an extremely good sleeper! It brings up my insecurities over why my DC are such poor sleepers, I have to be firm and remind myself it's luck of the draw, every kid different etc.

Congratulations @gimble on becoming an auntie! How lovely.

Sod the Easter rules, I want my Easter egg NOW...

Demolished my Easter egg (feel a bit sick now) and DD on her second wake up already

Ds just won't stay asleep. ,Over an hour and on 4th attempt now, every time I put him down he wakes up. Usually he's ok on his own for an hour or 2 in the evening. He's very happy and smiley which is better than screaming I suppose. When he finally goes to sleep I plan on eating lots of hot cross buns!

Hope you are all having a better start to the night.

Hello, can I still join in? 3.5yr old dd up most nights needing a wee / nightmares / currently has a cough. Nearly 11 month old ds usually up more than once, with one being a long one 45min being good. However, hoping we are finally getting there with night weaning! Bearing in mind he's on formula, that's been a long time coming!

Had an interesting tip yesterday, someone suggested that for tummy sleepers, when they're upset, instead of patting them, sort of shunt them gently up the bottom! Ha ha ha! She swore blind it's the quickest way of soothing them back to sleep! Anything is worth a shot right?!

So DS went to sleep at 8...i felt very smug and went downstairs, had time to pour myself a glass of wine, eat a mini egg...then he woke. Brought him downstairs as he would not settle, he's massively overtired but refusing sleep. Now back in bed trying to get him down.

Had an argument with DH. Was trying to tell him how inadequate I felt hearing about how well our nephew sleeps and how i feel like a failure as a mum. I said i know it's not rational to feel this way, but I'm so bloody exhausted today and dreading tonight, it's hard to get perspective on it all. DH was just silent and then said 'what do you expect me to say or do?' I just lost my temper and told him to sod off and enjoy his eight hour's sleep

I know, I'm being tangry and it won't help. But it just feels so...unfair! I'm getting so little sleep but am expected to be calm and rational all the time. When he doesn't sleep well he doesn't handle it well so why am I, who has not slept well for three fecking years, expected to be able to take it in my stride??

Argh, sorry, needed to vent!