The non-sleepers are still not sleeping

[NinaMarieP]

New thread, guys!

@NinaMarieP precisely my concern! How can we possible do a good job at work, survive even?! If we don't sleep and still have to work! My hope is that nursery will help taking the bad habits and that DD will sleep better. I'm sorry you had such a rough night.
I'm here night was better for me because DH stayed with DD. Although when she really needs a cuddle she screams until I go there and DH looks at me totally frustrated because he can't console her and get her back to sleep. Poor him. He offered to stay with her because he saw how quite I was (not normal) and really wanted to help, but then DD doesn't cope. I don't know how the poor man will cope at work today.
In a positive note, I think I sorted night terrors. She was always waking up 1hr after going down in the evening, screaming, so I decided to try this technique I read about, slightly waking her up from her deep sleep 30 min before her usually awake screaming time, so that she e starts a sleep cycle, and it worked now for 2 nights! I read about this to block waking up as a habit at the same time, but I thought giving it a try for the night terrors and it seemed to do the trick!
Still, loads of wakings and still the screaming and light sleep after 2/3am. For people that also experience "split night" with baby www.babysleepscience.com/single-post/2014/09/09/The-“Split”-Night-Why-some-babies-are-awake-for-hours-in-the-middle-of-the-night-and-how-to-change-it Read this yesterday and might give it a go. What she poorly sleeps after 2am she compensates as a good nap in the morning, sometimes 2 hours in a row! So I might try to cut her nap shorter a bit everyday to see if she sleeps better at lunch and maybe a later bed time, with hopefully a better quality sleep after 2am... Wish me luck! I feel like I'm always experimenting...

Nina sorry had such an awful night. I'm back at work next month (ds will 8months old) and I have no idea how I'm going to function and not nap at my desk

After a bad start with Ds waking every 20 minutes he slept for 3x3hours for the first time ever. Hoping it's not a fluke but trying not to get my hopes up at the same time.

Split night was exactly the issue we had! But he wasn't happy to be up! I think it was a mega habit. If you've been awake for 2hrs in the middle the night for months and months, it's going to be really hard to get your body to not do it!

@Haypanky my situation isn't also as described in the article, but it does seems our nights have 2 parts, part 1 from 18h30 to 2am,and then from 2am to 6am. 2am to 5am being the worst period. Some bits of the article really made sense to me "When things are going well, your baby will build sleep pressure during the evening and go to sleep at a regular time. As sleep pressure dissipates with night sleep, the circadian rhythm will take over and keep your baby asleep for until her maximum sleep duration and wake up at a regular time(....) When a split night happens the sleep pressure drive separates from the circadian rhythm. This means your baby may sleep for 8-9 hours and wake up feeling pretty refreshed and ready to go…..at 2am! " mine is not refreshed (only once woke up at 4am ready to party), the usual is crying and screaming. I'm tempted to wake her up 30 min earlier from her morning nap. The issue is she will be so grumpy! But hopefully have a better lunch nap. Lunch nap has always been an issue. Rarely she will have a long nap at lunch but that's what she needs! The article made me understand the situation better unfortunately I do not clearly understand how can I shift her naps in order to make it work. It's not like I have a nap wand! (I wish!!) bah, I'm lost... I've read so much about sleep that I feel I've done a post graduation on the subject and DD still doesn't sleep well

I'm so sorry, my posts are so long!

I only work part time, but it's a four week rota of varying shifts. He'll be with two different sets of grandparents depending on the shift so there is unlikely to be any consistency. I'm dreading it all to be honest.

Not exactly the same either bartos but enough rings true. He was also catching up on naps. But I found i had to tackle nights then naps changed on their own, rather than adjust his day schedule. For us, that meant not inadvertently 'rewarding' his night behaviour and getting really really consistent with how we did (or didn't!) respond at night. By trying to help him go back to sleep at were actually making things worse. So we've had to leave him to it really. He's started sleeping through now (omg!) and on nights he does wake up he just chats to himself sometimes for 40mins then goes back to sleep on his own. I rarely even go in. His naps are now a lot shorter! For the first week they were only 30 mins each and we even had some one nap days. I've had nap battles since which I'd never had before. By being consistent with his nap times and again my reaction he's now slowly improving for naps.

@WhoAteAllthePercyPigs he is 6 months. I've thought about putting him to sleep on his front... He's very strong, great neck control and he's nearly sitting on his own. But he will not roll! He's just not interested in at all, I'm sure he could but he hasn't so I just don't feel. Comfortable putting him to sleep on his front. But I think he doesn't like being on his back, If I put him on his side he sleeps better but then rolls on his back and wakes up. Do you put your LO down on their front when their asleep already? Or awake?

Today I feel like the worst mum ever. Baby is teething and miserable with it; I can see his first 2 bottom teeth splitting through the gum. He is crawling and desperate to do everything that will result in some sort physical injury to him. I am SO FUCKiNG bored and lazy and fat and I don't feel like sitting and playing. I put him in his play centre standing thingy and went on my phone for 10 minutes while he fed the dog his snack. Do you get bored? Mum life. What a fucking joke. We even went to a stay and play thing at the children's centre (ok only for the last 15 minutes) and it horrible. Too many people and too many ill children. If your kid has a hacking cough and their nose is leaking like a tap maybe don't come and spread the germs to the other children and parents at the group.

He spent the night waking up angrily every hour.

Also what are those Instagram mums doing that I'm not? Bad day.

@NinaMarieP I dread going back to work too.

@Haypanky how old is your baby? I thought about letting her cry overnight instead of going right away to her, but because the move to her room is relatively recent I was afraid of neglecting her. I think that will have to be my next move! Hopefully it will go well as it turned out for you!
Terrible day to cut her morning nap shorter... Went to clinic to weight her and it was packed! We got home so late, she is overtired now and already woke up 3 times... She has been sleeping now for 10 minutes I hope she stayed asleep a bit otherwise its going to be a hell of a day.
All mums in the play area today had babies that slept like angels!! Wtf! They kept asking me why does she wake up so much, I don't know why?!! She is just like this! Argh... Frustrating!

@justanotheruser18 don't feel bad! We all have those days! I don't think it's us, we are just unlucky sleep wise... And yes, I agree, if kids are sick should stay at home, don't go around sharing the virus.
I do get so bored! I am not cut out to be a stay at home mum! I really respect mums that can do it. I should have just gone with my guts and take 6 months of maternity leave, but everyone told me I would regret... Now I regret not having gone back to work earlier. I'm planning to go back in July, she will be nearly 11 months. I'm afraid she will find more difficult to adapt to nursery... And for me to adapt going back as well. It scares me. How am I going to juggle everything? People make it look so easy!!

He's 1 next week! 🎈

If I stayed at home every time my LO had the cold then we'd be home every other week. I'd stay home (and have) for vomiting or a fever but otherwise we go to our activities as usual. I would lose my mind if I didn't get out the house at least a couple of times a week.

It's been such a stressful few days. Dh has been bringing dd in to bed with us (I think he feels very bad for our financial situation and my stress because of it - and he knows she sleeps better with me) and she's been sleeping really well.. which is such a bummer. I wonder if I can 'teach' her to sleep through and then change to cot. I have no idea.

Half of me thinks that she's only little once and I won't get this time back so maybe snuggles in the night are ok for now.. anything that gets me sleep really .. I don't know :(

frozen i agree, they are only this little for such a short time. As much as I would like my bed back and to sleep I know I'll miss sleepy cuddles when he's older. I'm also a firm believer in doing what works and what gets you the most sleep.

Bartos I hate play group mum's who think their babies sleep because of something they are doing rather than luck. Like you must be doing something wrong. I smile and secretly wish their next child is a terrible sleeper!

Have lowered the cot and the bed is against the wall. So worried that changing things will make his sleep even worse. Wish me luck!

@MummyCuddlesSolveEverything :D I had a friend that told me something like this "mine also didn't sleep well for the first 3 months, but then she started sleeping, I don't know what I did but she started sleeping through the night". I told her if she did nothing and she just start sleeping through you are nothing more than lucky. Good for you. No merit in getting things handed. We, on another hand, every hour of sleep is a victory that should be celebrated with the finest champagne (for me a gin! ).
Good luck and I hope he sleeps at least as well as last night!

@MummyCuddlesSolveEverything exactly and we're only having one so I think get them in now!!

Hey all. Checking in for the evening ordeal session!

I understand all.the fears over going back to work. I was so worried about this with DD. I just didn't know how the hell I would function! But i did. In fact, I was more productive than I've ever been, purely because I had 4 instead of 5 days to pack everything into, I knew I had to leave at 5 on the dot so there could be no overtime. Also, I so didn't want people saying I was slacking because of being a mum! It was very hard some days. BUT...the sweet relief of dropping DD at nursery (after I'd got over my initial guilt) and heading to work where I knew I could enjoy hot coffee, uninterrupted pee breaks and adult chat was pretty good On the very tired days, know your limits. Try and do as much as you can in the morning or when you know you're most productive. Get fresh air whenever you can. Take regular breaks from your desk and make sure you have energy boosting snacks. Prepare ahead - have everything laid out the night before.

Honestly, it's not easy but from my experience it was doable and survivable. And my DD was still waking multiple times for a good year into me being back!

That said. I'm kinda dreading going back this time with two DC. Think life is going to be one long chore with very little relaxing...

@justanotheruser yes this baby life can be very boring. It's why I'm so bad at resisting boredom eating! As this is my second maternity leave, I'm finding it a bit easier. Planning what I will do, with an activity on each day - I just can't be in the house all day and I think being out and about is good for DS, he's always in a better mood than he is in the house! Even just walking up and down our local shopping mall, I get exercise and he enjoys the shiny lights!

Annoyed with DH. Long story short, we're going away for a week this weekend. He's decided to buy a roof rack for the car to store more luggage. He went to put it on tonight, and didn't read the instructions so a bolt snapped. Cue major stress and he has to sort it 'right now!' No it can't wait till after the DC bedtime. So I'm left holding the fort for tea time and bedtime for both. With a toddler who keeps demanding to go to the loo every two minutes and overtired baby. I've had to leave her to it in her room and get baby to bed.

I do get that DH is very stressed and wants to sort it. But really, is now the best time? At the moment bedtime is very much a two person job here, DD only settles for DH and DS takes quite a while to settle.

Once they're both asleep, I am so wiring into the Ben and Jerry birthday cake once cream I bought today! Can't recall who mentioned it here but I blame you

@WhoAteAllthePercyPigs my Dh is one of those 'it's VERY IMPORTANT and MUST BE DONE RIGHT NOW'. It gets on my nerves endlessly. You do NOT need to jet wash the decking at her bloody bedtime for crying out loud.

It's got to be a male thing right @frozen?? My dad is the exact same- actually he's worse! DH's ideal time to do something is five minutes before I serve up dinner. He's not so bad now (after we came to blows when a roast was ruined because he just had to service his bike) but when he utters the words 'it'll only take 5 minutes' I'm filled with dread because it never does.

Although I feel bad because the wally only went and walked into the garage door!! Came stumbling into the house covered in blood and very shaken. He's gone to A&E to get it looked at, I'm no expert but stitches will be needed.

The lengths some men will go to to get out of bedtime eh

WhoAteAllthePercyPigs why do men have to do things at the most stupid times. How is a roof rack more important than bedtime. My DH does things like that but then moans that I'm nagging/stressing if I say something needs doing now (like the beds being made before bedtime!)

Percy, you deserve that ice cream for single-handedly (wo)maning dinner, bath and bed time for 2 kids. You are a super hero.

@FrozenMargarita17 but jet washing the decking is vitally important at baby's bed time, no? Ffs.