The non-sleepers are still not sleeping

[NinaMarieP]

New thread, guys!

@Germantree I was adamant I didn't want another kid! It's bloody hard work. 12 years later I've got a second and we're planning a third so apparently I'm a glutton for punishment 😂

Tbh you've got it about standard for 5 weeks. Hang in there - it does get better. For now all little one knows and wants is close contact with mum!

@germantree you have another when they start sleeping better! Although we are done after two. I think our marriage would not survive a third. I think I wouldn't survive a third!

Hang on in there. Five weeks still very early. Most babies get the hang of sleeping, those of us on here are at the extreme end of the bad sleeper scale so don't be too freaked out by what you read! Both of my DC are sleep thieves. I've had three years of very little sleep, I've forgotten what it is not to be tired!

Another very bad night. Both DC up to tricks. DD has been holding in her poo since toilet training began, so she had a sore tummy. DS, who knows? Teething is imminent I think.

Got a swim class today and then taking it very easy!

@whatwouldnigellado welcome! You are in the right place and definitely not alone! My DS is 6 months and sounds v similar to yours.

@justanotheruser yeah i totally get the day ahead dread. It's fine when he's napping or feeding but I do wonder if I'm doing enough with him. We have a weekly routine now which helps me. Tuesday is swimming, Wednesday is our local Bookbug session (songs and stories at the library), Thursday I'll be starting buggy fit, Monday and Friday I have both DC. But there's still a lot of hours to fill!

Ah thanks all, nice to have found my people!
I'm never sure whether it's best (if there is such a thing!) to give up trying to settle him in his cot and take him back to my bed to sleep. After about the 5th wake/resettle fiasco I tend to crack as I know he'll settle and sleep next to me but does that just reinforce the idea that he only sleeps next to me?! He's got much better at going down sleepy and awake but just CANNOT resettle himself alone. It's hard being happy playful mummy when I'm tired!

I'm in awe of those of you who are going through sleepless nights and days and have been for months, let alone years - I genuinely feel like I'm breaking after just 5 weeks. Wait until they're teenagers and want a lie in every morning- then you can get your revenge!

@flowerpicture sorry for your loss (sleep grief) and welcome to zombie mums! Hope your DS will recover good sleep habits soon, in the meantime stay strong and hang in there! It does sound like all went through the window. Usually short naps means he is overtired and the more tired he is the worst he is going to sleep at night. How to sort it out? I wish I knew! I could have fixed my situation few months ago! I would keep trying to put him to sleep for his naps, as soon as I would see tiredness signs (losing interest in playing), rubbing eyes, etc. Making sure the room is dark, dark noise is on, he is not cold (my baby sleeps better well covered I understood), sleeping bag might help (nice and cosy). Always same bed routine. Burping him. Clean nappy. Full tummy. And really, there's only so much a mum can do and miracles are not included. I'm hoping it's just a phase, suppose to be related to cognitive development, and that he will get back on track once his little brain learns better how to process so much new info. Sorry if all of this sounds plain advise... Just trying to help. I understood he is able to self sooth, that's really good, it should improve nights should right? Didn't in my case and doesn't seem to do the trick for you as well... You are not alone! Best of luck!

@whatwouldnigellado welcome to the group! I'm very sorry! Your situation is similar to mine, except I never co-slept (until this dawn actually!). To answer your question, your HV will probably tell you that yes, ending up with him in your bed does send him the message that if he fusses enough he will "win". It's so hard. Mine would fall asleep on the breast and if she would wake up she would only go back to sleep after breastfeeding again. Very very hard breaking this bad habits. Maybe you need to choose a sleep training method and stick with it so that he learns how to self sooth. It seems to be super important. I used a sort of controlled crying method when DD did 6 months, I was going absolutely nuts. I can see improvements but hey, I'm still part of the group! Really far from perfect and a month ago (she is 8months now) we hit sleep regression (really all backwards) so it seems a never ending marathon. I've Re-started sleep training and I think she still remembers how hard it was the first time so she is actually being pretty good. Until she woke up at 4am today and refused to go to sleep until I brought her to the mattress on her cot side (I lay in there in emergency nights so that I don't exercise as much, she is in own room now). So hang in there, this is an up and down journey (so far the up moments are very short for us sleep wise). Good luck and take advise with your HV team! Maybe they can be more helpful!

Thanks @bartos. I've not really looked at any sleep training I got but if this goes on many more weeks I think lll look at getting a sleep consultant so at least I've some advice as to what to do next, I'll likely stick to a plan if I've paid for it!
He's such a monkey-naps well, goes down sleepy awake now, all the things that should mean sleep. But no!

Please help. I'm on the verge of seriously losing it with DS. He woke up an hour and a half after going down for what I hoped would be a longer stretch and has been awake ever since. But not just awake, no, he's been restless, banging h8s head against me, shouting and writhing around.

I don't know what to do. I've shouted at him, and feel so guilty. I'm so exhaustedI have no patience left. How do I calm down and get through this! The night is still young and I need to get through it.

He's 6 months on Thursday and sleep is at an all time low. There is no respite. I don't get why it's this bad. I can't keep doing this. I just can't.

I just cant win, after several attempts at getting him to sleep and stay asleep he's now rolled to his tummy and is fast asleep but I can't sleep as I'm so paranoid be will bury his face and not be able to breathe.

And on top of that I'm trying to diet but I'm so hungry now I can't sleep 😩😩😩

Had a huge row with AH this morning too, told him I didn't want to live with him anymore, fed up of his lazy, bad mood, negative face. Complaining he's tired when he chooses to stay up playing computer games while I battle the sleep refuser alone all night.
He didn't leave though, we sort of unspokenly made up, he's been better with ds2 today and tried to help a little tonight.

Just so sick of this attitude of because I'm breastfeeding then the settling is all my job. DS2 is waking every ten minutes sometimes and it isn't to feed every time so he can bloody help! Aargh

Rant over, sorry,

How are you all? I hope Youve been getting more sleep than me. Discovered today than I am going grey, brilliant.

Sorry @WhoAteAllthePercyPigs it sounds just the same as what I have here, he was 6 months yesterday and just doesn't sleep for any stretch of time, usually 20-30 minutes then I have to settle him again.

It's awful, destroying me and maybe my relationship, I'm afraid I have no advice on how to hold it together,I take deep breaths, count to ten and think about that first moment I met him and held him in my arms, it sometimes helps.

Don't beat yourself up for shouting, you had a blip and you're so stressed and tired, you don't do it all the time and he still loves you and won't remember.
Sending hugs of solidarity to you.xx

@WhoAteAllthePercyPigs I find a good scream in to a pillow sometimes releases my anger a bit.

Earlier I made a Grrrrrrrrrrrr noise and dd laughed in my face. It did cheer me up haha

Dd has been such a whinge today. But then she had an epic 2.5 hour nap that I had to wake her from. She's been ill and in our bed for a few days and she's back in the cot tonight.

Life is stressing me out. We've had to get a second mortgage on our home because of my IDIOT husband. The dog isn't well. I've got to go in to work tomorrow to sign paperwork for coming back and I feel sick about it. I'm worried about her being looked after when I go back. I'm worried about her not sleeping. And I'm worried I'll have less time with her and still no money. We're going on holiday soon with family and I tried to buy myself some things from primark today so all my holiday clothes aren't from 7 years ago when I was skinny and stretch over my fat wobbly belly, but the stuff I got is rubbish :(

Oh and I'm getting ill. Things are not so good.

Sorry for the whinge !

Not a perfect night here but after a rocky start the best we had in a long long time. After I just accepted he was in his tummy and allowed myself to sleep that is. He did 3x2 hours blocks which he hasn't done since never, it was fucking amazing!!!!

Perhaps all this time he was just uncomfortable on his back? He seemed to be able to settle himself back when he stirred. Maybe I can just put him straight to bed on his tummy now? Is that bad?

Hey everyone! I need to catch up. I haven't posted for a while... Unfortunately not because I have been sleeping, just trying to stay off my phone at night.

DS is now almost nine months and for the last few weeks his sleep seems to have taken a turn for the worst again! He's waking up in the night up to six times and I am feeding him back to sleep every time... We stopped co sleeping a couple of months ago so I'm in and out of his room all night! A few weeks back he was managing some nights with only one or two wake ups! But now seems we are back to square one again. On the really bad nights I have brought him into bed with me in the early hours but I'd rather not!

I'm trying to convince myself that because he was managing five hour stretches a few weeks ago, this means he can do it so this is just a blip?! Am I deluded?!

I also need to go on a diet. I seem to be eating through the tiredness

Ds still won't go in his cot for naps either so they're still all on me after being fed. One of the mums at a baby group last week was horrified I am still feeding to sleep... Not sure if I am supposed to have stopped this now?! This parenting malarkey is a minefield!! 🤣

@Jellybean2017 we definitely hit a sleep regression at 8m, apparently there's an 8-10 month one... but it's not meant to be as bad as the 4m one. It's slowly improving though. He doesn't wake every hour every night now...

DS will only seem to seem for about half hour at a time. Naps are always half hour no matter if we're in the car, pram, cot or on me and he wakes up crying but will not go back. And nighties he's up every half hour or hour ish all night..... God I'm so drained! He constantly wants to be fed to sleep even though he's not hungry, they he drinks too much and gets windy and sticky and then because he's tired he wants to go back on again. Why!!!!! Maybe one day we'll all get a good night's sleep... Pah 😂😂😂

Thanks so much for all the support on here. I was truly in a desperate place! I'm thinking it was his tummy, he was very windy? And teething too. Dosed him up on calpol so hopefully that will help? I'm not too hopeful! I'm going to go to bed early to try and get some sleep. DH told me to wake him when it gets too much. Which I'm grateful for but problem is he can't settle him, only boob will do on nights like last night. But it's there if I need it I guess.

@missonhart I put DS on his tummy to sleep and have done for a few weeks now. He seems to settle better and prefer it. He's been rolling both ways for a few months now and has very strong neck control. So I don't feel too bad. Remind me how old your LO is?

Sorry to hear you've got so much worrying you @frozen that all sounds very stressful and just the last thing you need. How are you feeling now? All the bad stuff seems to happen at once doesn't It?

Thanks @lizzlebizzle. Yes it does help picturing him as a newborn or how charming and cute he was in our swimming class this week!

Hiya @jellybean! Lovely to hear from you but sorry it's for not the best reasons. Agree that the 8 to 10 regression is nowhere near as shitty as the 4 month one.

Dd is causing absolute mayhem and screaming the house down. Why is it so hard to get them to sleep?! Why does it have to turn into a screaming fit? I genuinely don't understand why they do it.

Evening all, just thought I'd catch up on this thread while rubbish football is on the telly. Few tough times on here, I believe the mums net way is to put a picture of gin?! But I'm unsure where the gin lives!!! So I'm sending an imaginary gin cocktail!

@tealandteal a few posts back you mentioned nappy leaks, a friend of mine swore blind to put a sanitary towel inside the nappy?!! I found it was worth forking out for pampers baby dry for nighttimes but still had to change the boy most nights until he was night weaned.

Someone sent me this the other day. Very flippin funny...

frozen whoateallthepercypigs and lizzlebizzle sorry hear you are having sleep problems on top of what sounds like an already stressful time for all of you.

I have read whilst the changes and developments at the 4 month regression can be permanent, the changes at 8-10 months tend to be temporary so hopefully these babies go back to being better sleepers.

We has a horrendous night on Monday, up every hour but only wake ups at 11 and 3 last night. On wake up number one now!

haypanky I found Pampers leaked even in the day, it must be the shape of his legs. I tried a double tescos nappy last night and that seemed to work.

We have been in touch with a sleep consultant who doesn't use controlled crying/cio but not sure whether to take the plunge and actually pay for her advice.

I've gotten really behind again after not coming on for a day or 2. Someone said about sleeping on their front... it's fine if they roll on to their front in their sleep (Ds does)

Last night was awful. Ds woke up 7 times between 8 and 10, then screamed inconsolably before finally settling and staying asleep a bit longer when I came to bed but still not good. Already on 3rd wake up of the night tonight, I just don't know what's happening.

Ds has started to pull himself up so we can't leave him in the cot next to the bed in the evening anymore. We have to drop the cot base and hope he'll sleep there in the evenings. That means moving the bed against the wall so he won't fall out when cosleeping. AH can't see why we don't leave the bed where it is and put ds back in his cot at night. Apparently my explanation that it means ds sleeps better and I'm not getting up and out of bed every hour and a half isn't what it's really about. It's that I'm getting upset about going back to work and I don't like change. I honestly can't believe he said it. I know we can't cosleep forever (and I don't want to!) but right now it's the only way I get any sleep. How the hell would he know??? He sleeps all night. The bed is going against the wall this weekend.

Horrible night so far.

Took me an hour to get him to have his late afternoon nap.

An hour and a quarter and an extra feed to get him to bed after he pooed in the bath (third or fourth time in a week he's done that...)

He woke after 45 minutes and took an hour and a half to get him back to sleep, and that was with feeding him yet again.

And a horrible night followed.

He woke at 1.20, 2.20, 2.40, 3.00, 3.20, 4.20, 5.20 (came into bed with me then), 5.50, thrashed from 6 and is now being fed.

He'll be nine months old on Sunday why the fuck won't he just fucking sleep. I go back to work next month. I can't do it if he is like this evenings and nights.