The non-sleepers are still not sleeping

[NinaMarieP]

New thread, guys!

@bartos
Lol swede for breakfast, well done! They really are bloody clueless aren’t they. My DH does stuff like this whenever I ask him to “help”. Honestly, I have tried and tried and tried to make him help/parent and he doesn’t get it. It’s all on me, and I’ve grown to accept it. The men have the better deal. Mil was giving me a lecture on how I shouldn’t make him help at all on the weekends (he sleeps in till 9 or 10am and Bartley sees the kids on the weekends anyway) because he works. And my only response to that I worked full time after DD1, up at 530, dresses, dropped to nursery, commute to London for high flying city career (which by the way earned as much as DH), nursery pick up, dinner, bath time bedtime and then back to work on my laptop (and make dinner most days too). Nobody but nobody gave me any fucking time off on the weekends, or let me sleep in. And yet he does, and does fuck all on the weekends with the kids. It makes me so so so angry, but I’ve tried again and again to speak to him and he just won’t get it. He’ll “help” for half an hour and then get bored.

@mummycuddles
I hear you about the second. In spite of useless DH I wanted a second baby, so we had one. I knew he would do nothing to help and he hasn’t. I thought it would be fine this time around as I had had one baby and I knew what to do more than I did when dd1 was a baby, and dd1 is an excellent sleeper so I thought I could do it all on my own. And I got DD2 who is a bad sleeper...I’m doing it all on my own, which I expected but - it’s harder than I thought it would be. Weekends just make me angry as I expect a hand - yday dd1 (2 years)was having a meltdown as over tired after a birthday party and DD2 (6 months) was tired and I was holding her and I was trying to get both up the stairs to bath time and dd1 started crying and asking for a hug as she had tripped and needed a cuddle, and I couldn’t put the baby down... AH was watching all this from the sofa and reading a book. I had to ask him to come help me and hold the baby so I could comfort dd1. He’s such a dick is the thought that was going through my mind. I can’t believe I have to ask,but hey at least he came. Might as well look on the bright side.

And... sorry for the rant. Just tangry today!
@whoate well done on the potty training.
I have bought a potty and pants and that’s about as far as I’ve gotten. Tired.

*bartley sees the kids = barely sees the kids...(autocorrect!)

@UtterlyConfused111 that sounds horrible! I would kick him in the nuts! You don't have 2 kids, you have 3! These things leave me really mad!

@Missonhartbaby hope the rest of the day was better!
I've just Re-started today sleep training, wish me luck! If it's as been as the first time I don't think I'll manage to go through it again... She actually fell asleep after 1 minute but I'm waiting for her to wake up screaming at anytime.

Good luck with the sleep training, Bartos!

I don't know how you mamas do it with more than one kid and such clueless husbands. You deserve soooo much respect.

Ok so even though dd Wales anywhere from 3 times a night, to 9 times a night.. we've always been lucky that she dies settle in the cot. IVE PUT HER DOWN 7 TIMES TONIGHT & EACH TIME SHES IMMEDIATELY WOKEN UP! Excuse the shouting I'm just slightly bemused! She's gone straight back to sleep on my shoulder each time but each time I attempt a transfer PING her little eyes are open :l

Hope everyone has a decent night. Good luck to those of you sleep training, & I have a large hole that needs filling for any of you with AH's 😉

Lol thanks @bartos and @discombobulated and @justanotheruser

Sorry for the rant, just been losing it! I think others have heard me post on this thread before about AH, I just kind of lost it today -but not with him as there was no point.

@bartos good luck with the sleep training. I went that route with DD2 to get rid of the dummy. Hope it works and it’s not too tough.

Why do they never sleep when you have a big day the next day. We're off on holiday only to Devon but will DS sleep nope. He's all awake clapping his hands. I've been up for 2 hours with him so far. I just want sleep

@Meepmoop agree! I've been up two hours now too. Nothing mega important to do tomorrow but just have one of those 'run around' days tomorrow with shopping, visitors, filling at the dentist etc. So tired now

Do you ever wake up with the feeling of.. how will I manage today? Not because you don't love the hell out of your tiny human but because sometimes the days lie out ahead soooo long and empty and full of sitting on the floor amongst a pile of toys. I'm lucky today that my OH works from home but on normal days I often get a sense of what am I going to do with all this time. Am I entertaining him enough? Does he hate me? Is he stimulated enough.

Also since his breast feeds have cut super short I don't get to watch shows anymore while he feeds. Do you have the TV on in the day?

@Meepmoop I hope you got an hour or two before your big journey. Services will be your friend today.

@justanotheruser18 i totally know how you feel! Although my days consist of constantly trying to get DS to sleep!
@bartos we've ended up with him in bed with us atm as he just wants to feed all night and screams ever 40 mins in his cot and will not be calmed down. Hope your sleep training goes well, what's your plan?
Any one had any luck with a toddle pod?

@justanotheruser18 I know exactly what you mean. And I'm like, it's Monday again... A all week ahead, just me and DD. I've asked DH to get out one day on time to see if he can bathe DD and spend a bit with her in the evening, therefore relieving me a bit. I love her but it's so monotonous, and everything revolves around I getting her to sleep, or on keeping her asleep, or "another day I don't leave the house cause her naps are all messy and she won't sleep outside". Not that the weather is inviting but still! Social life! Where are you? And even if I manage to get out, what do I talk about? DD. God I miss work! I miss doing things independently without having to plan all around her. But I love her! I am though a bit nostalgic about my previous life, once she is a bit bigger I guess I'll get a bit more of freedom (that's my hope at least).
@Missonhartbaby oh no :( sounds exhausting and agonising. Could it be a growth spurt if he is feeding so much?
Well, plan is for her to learn how to fall asleep by herself. So evening routine: bath, breastfeeding, story, rock her until drowsy, lay in cot drowsy but awake, pat her head, kiss in the forehead, get out the door, and check on her in periods of time, always pating the head, kiss in the forehead, and get out. Last time her naps improved and her evening sleep improved. Although night were crappy same way. Yesterday was OK, she fell asleep within 1 minutes but woke up an hour after screaming. Until midnight she woke up plenty and from midnight to 5h30 only woke up once which is amazing! But then she was ready to rock and roll. She is on her first nap now. Fighting to fall asleep but I hope she as settled. Stay strong everyone!

We've had dd in our bed for two nights and she's slept like an angel... wondering how I'll ever go back

@FrozenMargarita17 I've tried Co sleeping twice out of desperation but not even that worked. She didn't even fall asleep. HV advised me against it to never do that but I have friends doing it and actually after starting their babies settled better in the cot. I have a friend that her baby didn't sleep. She Co slept one night. The next night baby slept 5 hours in a row in his cot! This things don't happen to me :p but maybe she will actually feel safer now and start sleeping better! And hey, better having a baby sleeping in your bed than baby not sleeping anywhere and no one in the house sleeping. That's what I think. You can always talk with a sleep advisor. I went to a sleep workshop by sure start. They have monthly workshops. Also found this site very useful www.babysleep.com they have information on co-sleeping. Found the site more useful than the worksop but maybe in your area you will get better support. Good luck!

Still no improvement on sleep here, my latest obsession is finding a nappy that can last the night. DS is always soaked by 3 but if I change him he is wide awake for an hourly or more. Last night I tired a double nappy but he was still wet through his clothes, sleeping bag and the sheets.

@tealandteal what size is your ds in? I have been using sainsburys 4+ for my little one. They're great and no leaks!

frozen I have him in tescos 4+, also tried Pampers. Maybe I'll take a trip to sainsburys.

Hi guys, can I join? Got a 4mo going through sleep regression D: Had me up at midnight last night after going to sleep what felt like 5 minutes before, and then again 3-6am, after which he let me sleep for an hour until 7. Overall I got about 4 hours of sleep which isn't terrible but I'm unwell so it feels dreadful. On top of this he's a serious catnapper no matter what I try so the days can be quite stressful.

We co-slept with our first son from birth until 3 years but that was 3 years of not great sleep for us adults so I'm avoiding that again at all costs. Currently I put DS2 into his cot at 7.30pm and do a mild amount of cry it out. He only cries for a few minutes than grumbles for a while and is usually asleep by 8 without me going up to pop his dummy in. Great! But then he wakes up every 20 minutes until midnight and the whole process starts again each time. I spend my evenings staring at the monitor watching him start moving each time and my heart sinks. He goes to sleep fine, but for the life of me I can't figure out to get him to STAY asleep. We use white noise etc.

At around 11pm he gets a dreamfeed and transferred into our bedside crib and up until recently he would sleep through either until 4.30 where he would have a quick feed and straight back to sleep, or until 8am. It was great, and it helped make the no nap days easier. But that's all stopped now.

He's just woken up now from a 10 minute nap screaming blue murder because he's tried but refusing to sleep

My Ds is usually asleep by now but is rolling around, bouncing and screaming. So full of energy I don't know how/when I'll get him to sleep

Hi, can I join? I'm dying here.
My DS is 6.5 month and has always Been a shocking sleeper, it's rare he goes more than 2 hours between wake ups and is a nightmare to settle after them. I feel I'm losing my mind. We co slept (safely!) for 6 months as it was only way he'd settle but now he can roll too well for it to be safe and we were just disturbing each other.
He's in his own room now but it's a disaster so far, hates his cot and ends up back in my bed most nights.
Everytime it feels like we have made any progress (occasionally going down awake and drifting off, slightly longer asleep period) it all unravels very quickly. He used to do 730-11 then start to stir but that's now 730-9.
Weirdly he's a great napper! I get so fed up/angry/upset and am then filled with guilt and anxiety.
Any advice very welcome or just hand hold and to know I'm not alone!

5 week old who refuses to nap anywhere but on me in the day and is yet to discover the joys of sleeping longer than 1.5 hours at night here. I am relatively young but look like i have multiple great grandchildren because of her sleep hsbits. Im putting on so much weight and my skin is a total mess. No wonder dh looked relieved when i told him wed never have sex again at this rate! Fucking hell this is not what I thought motherhood would be like. How and why do people have more than one?!

Haha @Germantree I am a one and done mum :) it was a decision before she was born but cemented by my pnd and no sleep.

5 weeks is teeny. My dd was the same at that age. I used to nap with her snuggled in next to me as it was the only way to sleep well!