The great non-sleepers... continued (again 😴)

[Jellybean2017]

New thread for night (and daytime!) chatter for those awake more than they'd like with a non sleeping baby/child 😊

My DS is six months. First baby likely to be only baby if I don't start getting more sleep! He is a nap and sleep fighter but incredibly cute so I choose to forgive him 😂

@FrozenMargarita17 so sorry you had such a dreadful night. It's so annoying when they fidget and flail. I wonder if she is going through something developmental. My son seems more active with limbs when he is learning a skill.

@tealandteal not crazy at all. Try it. Just do it safely. You need rest.

Oh @user. Your post actually made me tearful. No one should have to up with what you've been putting up with. Sweetheart, I think the writing is on the wall. This man has been gifted with a beautiful family and loving wife. He is refusing to change and I don't think he ever will. I don't say this lightly...but I think leaving is your only option here. Practically, where could you go? Could you relocate to your family while the DC are still so young? Or what childcare options are there where you live? Financial settlement etc?

In the time you've been using to try and this things, now use it to make a list of what you need to do to make your move and go. Don't want to sound harsh but I genuinely believe you and your DC will be much happier in the long run without this man. So sorry you're going through this.

@sakura I was awake! Bit too tired to type and limiting screen time so I could sleep. Two hourly wakings! And today we start potty training

On a happier note, I got my tooth out yesterday and it went fine! So feeling proud if myself for being brave

Hi everyone, awake a lot here too, just taking a leaf out of @MummyCuddlesSolveEverything book and trying to stay off the phone and it does really help me get back to sleep better.
Ds ds2 did a 3 hour stretch in his cot then woke up all squirmy, wouldn't feed or settle then I realised he was soaked through to his sleeping bag, I don't know why, when I changed him his nappy was almost dry it was just all over him? Nappy fail somehow?

@user1489931797 I'm so sorry things are this tough for you, being a new mum is hard enough even with a supportive partner. I wish I could give you a big hug.
Sometimes I think we all need to meet up, eat cake and let off some steam about our AH's.

To be honest in parts I could have written your post, except my AH is addicted to computer games rather than social media. I really hope you can find some happiness so you can enjoy your Ds. Can you go and stay with your mum for s little while maybe? Take a break from him?

@Sakura03 In expecting tesco today too! Literally cannot wait! Most exciting thing to happen all week, I may try to kidnap the driver just to have an adult to talk to 😂

@user1489931797
I don’t know what to say really except that it sounds pretty horrible. The only think I can talk about is my experience in leaving an ex of 7 years; our lives were so intertwined - we had spent our 20s together - we had tried for and lost a baby, but he was- well basically he was a twat. A controlling twat.
When I mustered up the courage to leave I was such a happier lighter person - like I had shed a 100kg! When I was pressured to go back to him by everyone (because he was not a bad guy to all outward appearances) I knew I would rather be dead than lose the wonderful lovely freedom I had gained the day I walked out of the door....
I don’t know if this helps but I know it is better to be alone than be unhappy.

Yes I desperately tried to cosleep with her last night - she just smiled at me inches away from my face..., and then hit me with her flapping arms..
Thank god dd1 is in preschool. Dreading the holidays....

Teal I'd give co sleeping ago, it really helped us. I was up all night holding ds as he stopped sleeping in his cot and I was so exhausted safe co sleeping was the only option. It won't be forever and if it means you get more sleep it's worth it. www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/

Thank you all so much for your support makes me feel like I'm not going crazy and I don't find anything you have harsh at what I want is honesty the crazy thing is only touched upon a couple examples and you all already don't feel I'm being oversensitive.

My mum suggested I go stay with her for a few days next week

She is pretty much retired so if I needed to go somewhere her house would be open to me but I feel bad taking DS away from him he's a loving dad but just not always focussed on him the whole time he's with him but I need looking after too! He was signed of work with work related stress for a month it's been his first week back!

I feel I have given him a million chances even the opportunity for him to write down in black and white what he should do and he can't even do that putting it down to not staying off him phone because DS been fussy and upset from jabs on Wednesday well doesn't mean we can't talk and what about Monday and Tuesday?!

I called him this morning on his way to work and said I can't understand why he had no words of comfort for me last night when I was upset he felt that saying I was just tired and needed a rest were words of comfort and said he didn't know what else to say as I had said I hate my life and felt it should be someone who can help me that I talk to coming from the man Who has refused counselling. I had one counselling session and he said I was of complete sound mind and actually seemed angry at ceri and felt I had gone above and beyond trying and being supportive and patient with him.

I know I'm not depressed I'm angry and sad for good reason.

Again sorry to bring everyone down and go off piste.

I really do appreciate your words xxxx

I think I will set the spare bed up for cosleeping and then I can move in if needed. I have never even bf DS in bed as I am terrified of falling asleep on him! Really hope these teeth come through soon.

@UtterlyConfused111 hahaha the flapping arms drive me nuts but I do find it a tiiiiiny bit funny sometimes..

@tealandteal it took me while before I tried feeding lying down for the same reason as yours, eventually I was so knackered I thought I'd give it a go. I was very careful how I positioned him, myself and to this day I almost have a ritual in terms of how I place everything. First I thought I won't sleep I will just rest while feeding lying down but all of a sudden I've had a nap and it felt so good. I secretly dream of having the bed to ds and myself one night but that would mean dp sleeping on the sofa which in fact is a sofa bed but is ever so uncomfortable.

Sakura03 I'm the same. Dh was away last night and it was great it just being me and ds...so much space! He's back now and I'm going to miss the space.

Ds had a 2 hour nap this afternoon, not sure if that's a good or bad sign for tonight.

Hope you all have a good night.

So DH has come in from a corporate day out, drunk!

First time since having DS who is 6 weeks.

Is it bad I don't want him holding him etc?

@cheshiremama89 definitely not bad x I wouldn't either

@cheshiremama89 that's rubbish, no I wouldn't want him holding him either, looks like you're flying solo for the night 😩

@Sakura03 And @MummyCuddlesSolveEverything I've relegated DH to the sofa so I can have more space for me and ds2 in the bed, gives me a break from his snoring too. Plus he is a smoker, not heavily but enough for me not to want him sleeping near baby.
He was supposed to give up when we had ds1, he's two next week! Another empty promise.

How are you today @user1489931797?

Looking forward to tomorrow, I'm doing a kit day at work, will be so nice to see everyone and have actual conversations!

Good luck for this eve everyone, hope you get some sleep.xx

Wake up number 3 😩 not going to be a good night, think he has heard me say I'm going out tomorrow!

He has just hugged us both and nearly crushed DS the clumsy thing!

My patience is wearing very thin

Particularly when he keeps saying "I'll do the nights feeds"

a) he's drunk

b) he knows (when sober) DS refuses to take a bottle

@cheshiremama89 - I hope you managed to send him to bed and not causing you more grief- have a word with him when he’s sobered up as you don’t need the stress. My dp once when being rather tipsy thought we could have ds in bed with us as in me feeding lying down but there was no way I’d allow that, in the morning he apologised.
We’re up for the first feed of the night, ds just made me jump as he giggled really loud, it was proper giggles and sounded so sweet, he then carried on laughing and opened his eyes and stared at me for bit, turned his head and fell asleep. So cute😍 I’m going to try and put him in his cot. Hope we all get a good night.

Sooooo......that didn’t work.... I put him down and hi, immediately opened his eyes and smiled at me, ya you’re cute baby but come on we need to get some sleep. He’s now back on the boob... I’m tempted to go and get some of those Swedish cinnamon mini buns that the Tesco man delivered this morning, they are yummy but I won’t as that would mean detaching ds from me and delay the prospect of hitting the sack.

He not hi...

Another bad night. I'm so utterly beyond fed up. DS is so restless, and when he is asleep I'm too anxious to sleep.

Read one of those 'what your baby should be doing at this stage' and apparently they should be almost sleeping through! Ha fucking ha. Do people with babies that sleep have any idea how lucky they are???

Sorry. I'm officially tangry. And hungry. Did you have a cinnamon bun @sakura? They sound lush!

So we attempted toilet training today. What an absolute disaster. DD basically not ready, and I was just way too tired to stay calm and be patient. We've decided to stop, regroup and try again in a month's time. DD will be 3 in June, so it's cutting it fine, but if she's not ready then I don't want to force her. It was such a horrible day, I'm so ashamed to say I lost my cool. I'm so tired these days that even basic functioning is sometimes beyond me.

Hey ho. DH is away all of tomorrow. In some ways that's good as we've been really out of sorts. He basically blamed me for doing the toilet training this weekend and claimed he knew nothing about what was involved. Despite me repeatedly telling him about the book I bought and asking him to read it. And setting the date ages ago and reminding him. And trying to talk him through it but he's always so distracted and obvs not listening. Grr. Today he definitely qualifies for AH status!

But it does mean a day on my own, when I'm massively exhausted. Hey no. On we must go....

Morning guys
@lizzlebizzle33 thanks Hun not too bad had a busy day yesterday after an argument in the phone on his way to work essentially begging him to just fight for this relationship if he does love me ugh

Went to a baby fun class with a friend then had a visit from a dear friend for the rest of the day when she left hour later DH got home and it was like nothing had happened he as chipper had popped to the shops and called me just before to see if I needed anything and was relatively attentive and chatty still didn't turn phone off which surely he should see as an easy win to this situation (totally addicted to whatsapp with friends and social media)

Shockingly both friend at baby class and visit from friend both resulted in them too confessing relationship problems I know we all have them occasionally to some degree but crazy the 3 of us having it pretty darn bad.

DS been like something something with teething and reaction to 3rd week jabs since Wednesday thurs I was recommended nurofen if calpol not helping and it's totally made him feel 100% better however yesterday as it was coming up to the 4hrs post last dose he would start to get mega grumpy and crying and bitey again I hope it feels better for him soon don't like to give med but wouldn't if he wasn't struggling so much seriously the way he way First 48hrs I'd rather go through labour again poor lil dude!!

@user sorry to hear you are having such a hard time, do whatever you need to to get through. Big hugs

@whoateallthepercypigs don't be hard on yourself, under three is still early and you are to tired to be trying to force it. Don't listen to anyone telling you to hurry up or putting pressure on, she'll get it when she's ready. We had a lot of looks/hints we should be getting on with it but because of DS2'S imminent arrival we held off with DS1. A day before we thought, right we'd better do this now he told me he was a big boy and was going to wear pants. We've had very few accidents and he got it almost straight away. After having put pressure on us nursery then congratulated us for leaving it until he was ready as he basically did it himself. He was nearly three and a half, and we were really feeling the pressure as he'll only just be four when he starts school but I am so glad we waited, especially seeing friends and their kids struggling for months.

@cheshiremama89 you're definitely right to keep DH away from baby tonight, it's hard but the safest thing. He'll be mortified in the morning if you tell him how daft and dangerous his suggestions were. My DH has also been out drinking, he did need to let off steam but it's just typical DS2 is now having a dreadful night and I'm alone dealing with it.

Shit night here, DS2 up every hour and 20. I will not feed any sooner than 2 hours otherwise he gets windy and wakes more. So I'm sat up with him for 45 minutes every hour or so. And he's doing his being so alseep he can't take the second boob but then waking for it the second I put him down in his cot trick. The eyes are stingy.

Cheshire how are things this morning?

Things aren't great here. Dh got back last night and I'm already so angry I could scream. He played ds a bit yesterday which was lovely but then of course didn't do anything to do with bedtime or wake ups in the night.
This morning I said it's time to go downstairs and give ds breakfast he said he'd be down soon. He did come down 5minutes later, because he knew I was annoyed. Then he moaned that I was being moody, of course I am...I'm exhausted and doing everything. He's bee upstairs working for nearly 2 hours because clearly 2 days away isn't enough time and he's so busy (he even told me yesterday he's really ahead on his ma!!).
So I've been on my own with ds, whose been fighting having a nap, just managed to get him to sleep in the wrap but he weighs nearly 9kg! It's honestly was easier on my own because I didn't get annoyed that he was here but doing fuck all to help.

Sorry that was a lot longer than I thought.