Should I let a 4 week old cry it out to settle to sleep

[crispaddict76]

Hi

My beautiful 4 week old boy is not settling for a nap in the day unless he is asleep on me or my OH. As soon as I put him down in his Moses basket or sleepyhead about 15 mins later he starts to stir and won’t settle on his own again. I’ve tried swaddling which has a mixed response. I have read and was told at antenatal that you cannot spoil a baby and that if the baby wants to cuddle then you cuddle them and meet their needs. However, we are being told by countless family members that our 4 week old can manipulate us from an early age and the words “rod for own back” have been said. So basically we are being told if we don’t leave him to cry and settle himself we will be creating all sorts of problems for ourselves and that he never will settle to sleep. I have tried to leave him to cry a few minutes and feel so guilty and he is crying real tears. Am I creating a rod for my back or should we be responding to him at this stage when he cries. And if we carry on responding to him will there be a point where he does start to self settle? Would be keen to know others views! Thank you xx

No.

Google "the fourth trimester" and have a read. It will tell you everything you need to know.

Leaving babies to cry at such a young age can cause neurological damage due to high levels of cortisol (stress hormone).

4 weeks old?

Comfort your baby. He needs you.

Your 4 week old is most definitely not manipulating you. He doesn't even know he is separate from you ATM, so it's normal for him to want to be hold/hear your heartbeat. Google the 4th trimester - it might help. The first few months are really hard, at you absolutely should be child led. Listen to your instincts re this ignore the ignorant advice from family.
X

No. It is abuse.

If you can’t handle your child phone social services.

X post with queen

No

Oh god.

Of course comfort your baby. He is tiny.

He is not manipulating you, why do people even think ths?.

No!! The baby is 4 weeks old, please do not leave them to cry. They are a tiny brand new person and they need their parents more now than they will ever do in their life!

DD is 11 week old and still won't fall asleep unless held, I would never dream of leaving her to cry herself to sleep

He's 4 weeks old, comfort him, don't listen to other people, listen to your instincts. You know your baby better than anyone.

No. Tell your family to butt out. 4 weeks is way too little to try any sort of sleep training. I'm sure they think they are being helpful but no.

No.
Have a look at the forth trimester on google.
It may answer some questions.

Already been a thread similar to this today and the short answer is no.
A 4 week old baby needs cuddles, if he's crying, he needs something.

No way. He needs comfort and reassurance. Your family members need to get on their Ark and sail away with their heartless, outdated advice.

You're going to be overwhelmed with people (including me) saying "No, absolutely do not do this". And every single one of us will be right. Please do not listen to your family members.

Even the hardest faced old school hv won't discuss cry it out until baby is 6 months.

Whoever is saying rod for own back at this stage is an idiot. This is a really really tough bit but you just need to move through it. It will get better soon, I promise.

Just hold him - sleep when he does, but you just need to get through it

No! Please don't.

Absolutely not.

Your baby is crying because it needs comfort. It's only been in this scary outside world for 4 weeks.

Ignore your family.

Any sleep training is usually done much much much later and only if there is an issue.

Your baby is doing exactly what it is supposed to be right now and using crying to let you know he needs something (comfort/food/nappy change) Leaving him to cry will only teach him that if he cries then no one comes no matter what he needs.

A babies sleeping routines will regularly change so much right up to toddler ages and sometimes beyond. Don’t listen to old fashioned advice

No!!!! He is four weeks old! Just cuddle him, and consider getting a sling so that you can do stuff whilst he sleeps. Or just stay on the sofa with a box set.

Oh lord I'm actually pretty stressed about this now FUCK THOSE family members saying that stuff please just hold that baby.

I have had four children in seven years. All of them have had to be held or slung for all naps for the first year of their lives. That’s the way some babies are.

I don’t believe this ‘rod’ bullshit, but so what if you are creating a rod? What’s wrong with sitting down while your baby naps on you? A mantlepiece won’t get dusted? A floor won’t get mopped? I know what,I’d rather be doing.