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Original poster

Non-sleepers unite...

999 replies

Jellybean2017 · 18/01/2018 22:40

New thread for night (and daytime!) chatter for those awake more than they'd like with a non sleeping baby/child 😊

My DS is five months. First baby likely to be only baby if I don't start getting more sleep He is a nap and sleep fighter but incredibly cute so I choose to forgive him 😂

OP posts:
Catscatsandmorecats · 18/02/2018 02:46

Oooh, date night meepmoop! I hope you enjoyed yourselves.

Amagdalena yes, sadly you can have SPD post natally, the relaxin hormone can still be present for some time. I had it dreadfully in pregnancy and the physio warned me I could still be prone to it until months after I finish breastfeeding, and who knows when that'll be! Luckily for the most part it has stayed away but I have found overdoing it - lots of heavy lifting (hello DS2 in your car seat), running, or lots of feeding in a bad position all can make it start to twinges again. Lots of pelvic floor exercises help! Either way, try and get a physio appointment if you can.

Just done feed 2 here, DS2 has done really well so far tonight so I'm hoping it continues. DS1 is in his cousin's room sharing with him for the first time, I'm waiting for the fall out!

Lallypopstick · 18/02/2018 02:52

Coughing baby. This cold is really lingering!

NinaMarieP · 18/02/2018 03:27

Our nights are normally the same at the moment, pretty average, not terrible. One feed around 3am, decent sleep until then and then waking every hour or so after.

Not tonight.

Tonight he woke a few times after going to bed, then at 10.20, 11.20 and 11.50 and he was up for at least an hour then.

Screaming and thrashing, refusing the dummy as if it were a hot poker being put in his mouth... of course my OH went straight for "have you tried feeding him?"

No I had not fucking tried that. It was 12am, only four hours since his last (seventh) milk feed of the day. A whole hour of active feeding plus goodness knows how much faffing. I hate how quickly he goes to 'he must be hungry'. He did take him away though when I made it clear that he wasn't needing fed and he did get him to sleep for another 2 hours so I can't complain too much.

He woke again right on schedule for his 3am feed, proving me right. But now I'm wondering if it's fair to do my usual and swap with my OH for the remainder of the night 🤔

WhoAteAllthePercyPigs · 18/02/2018 03:36

Both DC are conspiring to keep me awake tonight! Tbf DS wasn't doing too badly, he woke for first feed at 1.30 and went back to sleep quite quickly (albeit in with me) but then I had to put him in the cot so I could deal with DD who's teething and in pain so needed cuddles and calpol. This should be DH's responsibility but he's obvs deaf to it tonight. She's still moaning and I'm feeding DS, can hear DH getting up now, hoping he's going to take her in with him!

Having such a hard time with DD right now. Think it's down to teething/her cold but she's REALLY pushing those boundaries. I'd been congratulating myself that we'd avoided the worst of the terrible two's but she's giving them a run for their money!

Sorry to hear about your SPD @AMagdalena. I had it in my first pregnancy but weirdly not my second. I also had a strange wrist pain thing which lasted well after I'd had DD. Relaxin is a bastard of a thing!

@lallypop colds all round here too. DS sounds like a locomotive with his breathing...

We have a mini disco thing to go to tomorrow. Been looking forward to it for ages but now I'm wondering how we'll get through it as we're all going to be knackered!

AprilShowers16 · 18/02/2018 04:44

Joining in. Have 4 week old so way to early to know if he’ll be a good or bad sleeper. His older brother was awful so I’m hoping for better luck this time. Currently each night is different, tonight we’ve had waking at 1.30 and 4 (just put him back down but he’s currently squirming away) so it’s been good. Last night I have no idea what happened but it felt like we were awake the whole night.

Right I think he might actually be asleep so going to risk shutting my eyes

Catscatsandmorecats · 18/02/2018 04:52

And DS1 is awake, I've been in his room for ages and it's bloody cold out of bed. Cousin had a bloody nose earlier so is being loud and seems to be a noisy sleeper in the bunk above so neither are getting back to sleep easily. DS2 still doing pretty well but I'm sure he'll wake soon then I'll be stuck! I'm looking for my spade as it was DH who discussed with DBIL IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN whether they could share, after an undecided chat about it at home I just wasn't going to mention it, but then it's only me who has to deal with it.

DS1 is finally snoring away so I am going to attempt to creep back to bed, have done this once already and it went tits up so I'm not holding out a lot of hope! Oh, no I'm not, he's unsettled again. ARG!

surlycurly · 18/02/2018 04:54

My cat got knocked over in front of me and died today. Have woken up reliving it. Been awake a couple of hours now Sad

cheshiremama89 · 18/02/2018 05:12

@surlycurly Flowers that is terrible Sad

AMagdalena · 18/02/2018 05:23

I put DD in the cot at 10.15pm and she just woke up ShockShockShock 7 hrs later (asleep from 9pm)
Bloody hell, has she just 'slept through'?!?!

Original poster
Jellybean2017 · 18/02/2018 05:40

@surlycurly that's terrible. Sending Flowers

@AMagdalena yes I think she has slept through! Congratulations!!

DS slept another two hours after his feed. I managed to get him in the cot asleep with some patting. Unfortunately the door banged shut behind me and it woke him. He resettled after 20/30 minutes again and until now. We are in the big bed now though as not long till we will be getting up anyway.

OP posts:
DwangelaForever · 18/02/2018 05:47

Woke up at 5.30 by DH snoring 😭 can't wait til DD gets up so I can stay in bed (it's my day for a lie in)

Meepmoop · 18/02/2018 06:12

On wake up 3, I got mad when I heard DS wake up as I thought it had only been an hour since the last one turns out it was actually 4. Sorry DS.

@AMagdalena Congratulations!! 7 hours is great.

@Jellybean2017 It sounds like he's responding well to your training. It's so annoying when something like a door slamming wakes them up!

Original poster
Jellybean2017 · 18/02/2018 08:28

We have just had another three hours sleep. Boobs like rocks 😶😂

OP posts:
UtterlyConfused111 · 18/02/2018 09:07

@amagdelena
Well done!! 7 hours woo hoo

AMagdalena · 18/02/2018 09:08

What method are you using, @Jellybean? Seems to be working!

I actually feel more tired than after a crappy night...

UtterlyConfused111 · 18/02/2018 09:15

@catscatsandmorecats
Another one here looking for a spade to take out DH.
I have no perspective left anymore.
DH started a new job this month. He had the month of January off as holiday; he slept in and did not help at nights at all. It was ok. I had help/dd1 in preschool/mum etc. He did the dream feed on weekends.

DH is now waking up at 530am to commute to London for new job. Gets home at 730pm. Don’t get me wrong this is a long day (I used to work too in the same field so understand). He doesn’t do nights or dream feed; it’s all on me. He sleeps till 9am on weekends; three hour nap during the day and maybe goes for a run or gardening. He does take dd1 off my hands for a couple of hours on Saturday; and an afternoon walk as well. He does dinner too on weekends
Anyway as I was bringing him his morning tea at 9am yesterday after putting down baby for a nap; he asked why I was grumpy. I said I’d had a bad night and that I felt a bit taken for granted that he slept in every weekend.
He has responded with - he feels I have no sympathy for his new hours; and he feels taken for granted too. And on weekends he does the dream feed so if I went to sleep at 9pm and baby wakes up 330am I’m getting the same sleep as him (baby has never slept till 3am - or only a few times).

I just didn’t have words and haven’t really bothered talking to him since then. Dd1 is vomiting away and not feeling well so focussed on that.

I did want a spade though. Aibu?

Catscatsandmorecats · 18/02/2018 09:52

Wow, well done baby amagdalena!

Meepmoop that's very funny, so annoying though when four hours goes so fast.

Utterlyconfused that is so tough, much as my DH is a bit unaware and sometimes could help more he's really good with most stuff and I do appreciate it. If DS1 wasn't so clingy to me and DS2 would take a bottle I wouldn't have such a tricky time. And I did make him get up with both boys at 6.45 so I could get a little bit more sleep. Is it any better now you've talked (roughly) about it? I don't think the person who doesn't do the majority of the night wakings will ever really appreciate how tiring it is but if you are looking after a child (or two) 24/7 then you need your partner to do their share when not at work. I used to do a long commute to London and long hours in tough job and I can honestly say having a baby is much tougher than that. DH agrees he goes to work for a rest. I don't know how you can get your DH to understand that though, perhaps you need a hen do or something where he has to do 24 hours!

lizzlebizzle33 · 18/02/2018 11:14

FIL just came to pick up ds1, he's going to theirs for the day. I should be happy for a bit of peace but bloody miss him already!
Even though he's been an absolute shit this morning, throwing toys at the tv, screaming at me and his usual hitting the cat I still hate waving him goodbye 😩

How ridiculous!!

Meepmoop · 18/02/2018 11:26

DS has slept on me for 1.5hours and now has been feeding for 40mins. I really need to move

Original poster
Jellybean2017 · 18/02/2018 19:05

@AMagdalena we are trying ferber. He has napped incredibly badly today so not sure what type of night we are in for really... We are still holding him for naps or he is having them in car/pram/sling.

OP posts:
UtterlyConfused111 · 18/02/2018 19:37

@jellybean
Well done and long may it continue...
I feel like my lo is too young to start but plan to start in a month or so I think. I can’t live like this much longer; I’m losing my mind. Dd1 was such a good sleeper!

AMagdalena · 18/02/2018 20:19

@Jellybean Fingers crossed tonight isn't too bad.
Out of curosity, how do you tell if the baby needs feeding etc. if you're using Ferber? If the baby wakes within 30 mins, how do you respond? Sorry, I am not very familiar with the method at all and I boob every time DD wakes, so 😂

DD has napped badly today, too, but I did manage to go out for a couple of hours by myself. However, DH though 40ml of expressed milk would be enough, so good job I was checking up on him! Men Hmm
Now, DD is sucking the life out of her thumb, but asleep (I think).

Oh and thank you for replies about my SPD. I think I am going to insist for a referral. I never had a proper check up 'down below' and, given the fact I had an episiotomy and an instrumental delivery, it would make sense for me to have one, right?
My DH always says it was like a scene from a horror movie when DD was born Confused

AMagdalena · 18/02/2018 20:20

I love it how I already self-diagnosed 😂

Catscatsandmorecats · 18/02/2018 20:57

jellybean is Ferber the same as controlled crying? I did that with DS1 and it worked - I'm not too keen on doing it with DS2 but I do need to do something for naps. At least at night he's easier to settle just as well as he wakes so much

Amagdalena yep, definitely go for a referral, I cannot say how much difference good physio made in my pregnancy and just after birth.

I'm really not feeling too optimistic about tonight, DS1 decided not to share so that's one less worry but he's such a sensitive soul and out of sorts that I don't expect him to go through. Both went down ok at least and we're having a very lazy evening before bed. But I'm putting off going to bed because I know as soon as my head hits the pillow one will be awake 😣

DiscombobulatedWomble · 18/02/2018 21:16

Ladies what time do you put your little ones to bed? We are now 11 weeks, up til about 8/9 weeks she was having a last feed at 10 & in the cot at 11, over the last few weeks she's bought that forwards herself so she has last feed at 7ish & in the cot for 8ish. This is fan, however, the last few nights she's started screaming her head off from 6 til 7. I'm wondering if she now wants to be going up to bed for last feed at 6, in the cot at by 7, but is this not a bit early? All the crying is killing us it's horrible to hear & means she takes in tons of air so no matter how much I wind her, she's screaming in pain when I then try to feed her at 7.. it's all very confusing!