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Original poster

Non-sleepers unite...

999 replies

Jellybean2017 · 18/01/2018 22:40

New thread for night (and daytime!) chatter for those awake more than they'd like with a non sleeping baby/child 😊

My DS is five months. First baby likely to be only baby if I don't start getting more sleep He is a nap and sleep fighter but incredibly cute so I choose to forgive him 😂

OP posts:
WhoAteAllthePercyPigs · 14/02/2018 21:30

So me and DH have gone to bed on an argument. Basically I feel under appreciated; I know our marriage is undergoing big challenges with the two kids but i think that's all the more reason why we need to keep making the effort where we can to connect with each other. He doesn't seem to care though.

Plus both DC kicked off - screaming and tantrums throughout the nice meal we were meant to be having.

Social media full of 'ooh look at these flowers I got isn't my DP amazing, aren't I lucky??'

And now we have the night shift...truly my cup runneth over Grin

WhoAteAllthePercyPigs · 14/02/2018 21:32

@utterly the Ergo is great! Easy to put on and slot DS in. We used it for DD so it's well worn, but we've had no issues at all with the Velcro. I love it - best baby purchase we have ever made!

AMagdalena · 14/02/2018 21:54

And we have a cot refuser tonight. No surprise there!

Meepmoop · 14/02/2018 22:44

So DH appeared just before 9, we barely spoke to each other as he was tired and I was trying to go to sleep. He's informed me he has to work this weekend as well after finishing late everyday. I'm finding it hard, I'm not sure if it's the lack of sleep the past few nights but it's upset me. I feel very lonely. I'm not as I have lots of people around me but it's not the same.

We're on feed 1, I didn't realise my breastpad had moved so I'm soaked and I have to change my top again.

WhoAteAllthePercyPigs · 15/02/2018 02:37

Awful night. DS will just not sleep! He's propped up on me but awfully congested. This cold is worse than the last one. Then he was sick on me so I've had to take my pyjama top off and now am freezing. Akso really need the loo.

Given up on the hope I will get any more sleep tonight.

lizzlebizzle33 · 15/02/2018 02:53

Sounds like we're in the same boat @WhoAteAllthePercyPigs

Had 2 hours sleep since 9pm, now he's up again, poorly little bear. Wish I could help him more.

I'm propped up in bed with the TV remote out of reach, need a wee too and I think I'm getting this cold now 😩

Can you nudge DP to get you a blanket?x

HashtagTired · 15/02/2018 03:27

Sorry bds like a couple of rough nights @WhoAteAllthePercyPigs and @lizzlebizzle33.
Hope you all feel better soon.

Feed number 2 here just finished.
He literally cannot sleep for longer than 2 hours at night, yet in the day he'll do longer. I couldn't sleep after feed #1 so I stayed up knowing he would wake now, hoping I was wrong but kinda glad I was right as I can try to get some sleep now.

It's ridiculous as I had no sleep last night. My body just isn't tired enough at night to sleep anymore!! I'm evolving into some night waking creature that is good for nothing in the day, and only good for feeds in the night.

Hmm
NinaMarieP · 15/02/2018 03:41

@Meepmoop I did check mine ton

NinaMarieP · 15/02/2018 03:42

For fucks sake.

I checked my breast pad tonight.

I then read your message. I thought 'ha,
For once that will not be me'.

Yet I am fucking soaking. Obviously didn't check it well enough. One new top coming up here too...

Catscatsandmorecats · 15/02/2018 07:21

lizziebizzle and whoateallthepercypigs I hope your babies let you have some sleep or you can get a little this morning, it's horrible when they have colds.

Meepmoop it really isn't the same, I totally understand. DH worked away every second or third week when DS1 was little, he was a velcro baby too so despite DM and MIL regularly coming to help I was wrecked, hugs for you.

A slightly better night here, I think the second tooth is almost completely through so disturbing DS2 much less and DS1 slept beautifully. Still no more than 2 hours sleep in a row for me but better than the half hour bursts from the previous two nights.

lizzlebizzle33 · 15/02/2018 07:31

Well I don't know wether it was the calpol or the co sleeping but poorly bear slept for 4 hours in the bed with me, longest he has ever slept.

Only trouble was he was on his side and his nappy leaked everywhere 😩

That's the bed sheets off again! Win some lose some.

Thankfully his eye doesn't look too bad this morning, and DP is taking the day off to look after ds1 so ds2 can have all my arms.

Hope the rest of you got done sleep too ❤️

NinaMarieP · 15/02/2018 07:36

Side sleeping is dangerous for nappy leaks! We had a nappy leak tonight and it was while he was on his side feeding. So that was a new outfit and sleeping bag for him as well.

Zampa · 15/02/2018 09:00

@cheshiremama89 I can remember the looming dread as night-time approached and at least one set of tears. It has got better though and DD2 has started sleeping better now she's 12 weeks old. DD1 is the issue now!

AMagdalena · 15/02/2018 09:32

@Meepmoop I am the same. My DH works long hours and very often his days off too and it gets me down.

Soooo we had 4 wake-ups (little sod wouldn't let me watch telly again), but we managed a cot transfer and DD stayed there for 3.5 hours. Not bad!
And I starfished the bed this morning as DH played with DD for an hr.

Original poster
Jellybean2017 · 15/02/2018 10:15

Hope you're ok this morning @Whoateallthepercypigs. Changing family dynamics definitely affects relationship with partners. DH and I have barely spent any time together in six months and it does make things tough when the only time you get is accompanied by a crying baby soundtrack.

DH is still keen to sleep train and after a few nights of DS screaming even though I'm letting him comfort feed or cuddling him I have to admit I'm tempted to try something "gentle". Who was it that had success with this recently? I'm having to go to bed at 6pm every night and can't roll away from DS as he wakes up everytime 🙈 feel like a terrible mum for considering sleep training though.

We went to look at nurseries on Monday. Had to pay a deposit quickly as they were already nearly full for September!! Also having a look at the options for childcare vouchers etc. This link looks quite helpful for anyone in UK m.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/childcare-vouchers-tax-free-childcare-comparison_uk_5a588efbe4b02cebbfdacd39

OP posts:
xxrealistmumxx · 15/02/2018 13:57

jellybean2017 we've had some success with the Ferber method. I didn't wait as long for the check ins as suggested in the book so it was a modified approach to sit it's. It took one difficult night really before we turned the corner. There was crying involved but tbh I don't think that can be avoided.

I did a lot of research. Tbh most of the arguments against letting LO cry didn't wash with me.... Not after being a parent for ten years. The worst claim I read was that letting your baby cry inherently tells then they are unlovable! What utter nonsense! In hindsight I think my LO was in more distress not knowing how to get himself to sleep than having one bad evening of on off crying. And, honestly, he has been happier in himself since we sorted the sleep thing out. But if you're adamant you don't want any crying then it's not the method to use.

Just as an aside, though, I spoke to lots of parents who ride out the sleeplessness when they were babies and then tried to sleep Train when they were over a year. Everyone one of them said they wished they'd done it sooner as it was much harder the older they got.

I'd recommend reading the ferber book even if you don't use the method as there's lots of good common sense stuff in there. As a psychologist and substance misuse worker I had to support a lot of people in recovery with re-establishing good sleep and a lot of what he says rings true though some of it I feel is overly simplistic and not as easy as it sounds!

Anyway, I'm happy to hold your hand cyberly if you want to try something x

xxrealistmumxx · 15/02/2018 14:28

whoAteAllThePercyPigs huge hugs to you. Marriage takes an absolute battering when a baby arrives. When it's a poor sleeping one and you already have a littlie in the house it's even worse! I'm sure your DH cares. He is probably tired and exasperated too but may not even realise it. It's hard to stay connected when you're both frazzled and your life is consumed with the children. You're not alone, I'm sure every one of us on here can relate. It's really f*king hard and I think you're amazing for at least trying to track out and connect! My DH has come to accept that my default is just to hide away behind the tiredness! Luckily we know it passes. Hang in there xx

Lallypopstick · 15/02/2018 16:26

Jellybean I posted quite recently about sleep training. We did Ferber too.

xxrealistmumxx · 15/02/2018 18:00

lallypopstick has the Ferber method had a lasting effect on sleep? We're only a week and a half in....
Also, did you use it for naps too??

Lallypopstick · 15/02/2018 19:39

xxrealistmumxx Since night 4, he’s slept through - though we’ve had some wake ups the last two days because he’s been coughing and has a cold. I think we’re about 3 weeks in.

Yet to tackle naps though. We tried on the second day for two naps and it didn’t happen, so we parked it until nighttime was established. I think we’re going to try this weekend though.

AMagdalena · 15/02/2018 20:39

The sleep thief is asleep. I have 30 mins to myself.

I see a discussion has begun about sleep training.
I simply can't be bothered to do it 😂

Original poster
Jellybean2017 · 15/02/2018 20:39

I might message you both for tips @lallypopstick @realistic

OP posts:
Lallypopstick · 15/02/2018 20:46

Ha AMagdalena I got my OH to do it, using the excuse that he’d want milk if I went in.

Feel free to message for tips, Jellybean

Original poster
Jellybean2017 · 15/02/2018 20:46

@AMagdalena I know what you mean. If I could roll away from DS once he's asleep I would happily carry on with the Co sleeping! Just don't want to have to go to bed at 6/6.30 every night :(

OP posts:
Meepmoop · 15/02/2018 21:10

I now have DS's cold boo.

Thank you Catscatsandmorecats and AMagdalena it's nice to hear I'm not being silly and pathetic for being upset with him working. He was back late again today but earlier so we've had dinner and did bathtime with DS together. We're going to go out for a meal at the weekend just the two of us which will be nice.

Time to attempt a cot transfer, fingers crossed

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