Non-sleepers unite...

[Jellybean2017]

New thread for night (and daytime!) chatter for those awake more than they'd like with a non sleeping baby/child 😊

My DS is five months. First baby likely to be only baby if I don't start getting more sleep He is a nap and sleep fighter but incredibly cute so I choose to forgive him 😂

DD1 was a delight today so I'm backing the have more horse. However, when they're both crying in unison, it's a slightly different story! I would love a third but OH and I are too old, he has 2 from an earlier marriage and I don't want to be split even thinner between my two girls.

I've not been as tired as I was today since DD2 was a newborn. Really hope she sleeps better tonight.

Mmm sleep is not looking likely tonight. Every time I think DD is finally asleep, the lovely eyes ping open.

Everytime I think we he's getting better we have an afternoon or evening of complete meltdowns. Tonight's was worse than the moment they stick an immunisation needle in but over and over and over again. His napping has gone to shit, he will only entertain himself for half as long as he used to if I'm lucky... we are one day away from the end of a leap and while I don't generally put a lot of faith in the leap theory I am praying they are right this time and it's about to be over. I just feel like whatever I do at the moment it's the wrong thing.

Hi everyone! Liking the having more kids - or not - chat . DD was such a poor sleeper that it really gave us pause for thought...but we went for it anyway! It actually took us longer to conceive DS which I think was good as it gave us a little more time to rest and a good year for me to enjoy myself and reclaim my social life after breastfeeding

Watching DD and DS together is absolutely heartwarming, you're right @cats. DD adores him and it will be nice for her to have a sibling to play with. I just wish he was a better sleeper!

DS asleep on me and about to attempt cot transfer. Really hoping tonight is better. I mean, it can't be any worse?! those words are totally going to bite me

Good luck to the sleepless crew!!

Hi peeps, not posted for a couple of day (I think... I'm losing track of time). D's sleep has been all over the place. Tonight he's fed, cat napped, fed, cat napped... it's ridiculous...11 weeks old I suppose he's going through a growth spurt? Weve got an early start tomorrow as were going back to the tongue tie clinic as it's been 3 weeks and we have seen no change.

Urgh. Yesterday we were on half hourly wake ups from 4am. Not cool. Hoping for better now.

This board moves so fast!

I have a 5 year age gap between our two. Almost exactly. It kinda was planned that way; I had changed jobs so wanted to do at least a year before ttc again in case it happened straight away.

It works really well for us.
Good things: dd goes to school so I get quality time with ds in the day. I get to rest in the day or catch up on housework/Netflix (same thing?!) or take him to baby classes. Childcare is cheaper when I return to work, only having to pay for nursery in Term time. Dd is so very helpful and helps me with ds, she reads him stories to occupy him when I'm just needing to do something else, she's good at getting him off to sleep, and he absolutely adores her and finds her so entertaining (I think because she spends so much time with him when she's around, whereas I'm mostly trying to multi task). She's also at an age I can try and reason. She kinda understands if I can't give her my full attention if I'm seeing to ds and is often happy to wait whilst I do so.
Also, me being on mat leave whilst dd starts school for the first time has been handy too. I get to understand the needs and wants whilst she makes that huge transition to school and drop her off and pick her up each day. Attend all the school meetings etc that I probably would not have attended had I been working. I gives me a year to understand what goes on!

Not so good points: as they get older it will get harder. They will want different things at different times. No doubt the novelty of being a big sister will wear off and she will find him annoying when he breaks one of her toys, or gets in her way, or pokes her or something. She will find him less cute when he starts to stick up for himself!!

But we aren't there yet so totally cashing in on the good points at the moment.

And she keeps asking for a baby sister! 😨
I don't think we will plan for anymore. I think the leap from 2 to 3 is a bigger one. Ideally we'd need a bigger house (but we are looking to move anyway, as soon as we find a house that works for us) and would need a different car (again, I'll need to buy a new car soon anyway). But that said, if it happened we would be happy with that. But I wouldn't plan it that way. My body struggled with my last pregnancy and it wouldn't be easy doing it again. So not ideal, but wouldn't rule it out.

Anyone still using Ewan?

His EBLL has been most useful of late 👌

Remember those EBLL days 😂

Morning everyone it's only been 3/4days but feel like I've not posted in forever same as you @Sakura03 time just seems to have run away from me the post christening tiredness and who's have thought a day from the house and lots of pressies and an over tired baby could make your home feel a mess and take it out of you!

Yesterday went to baby clinic to get DS weighed we are no back on the trajectory weight wise of where he should be for his age for what he was when he was born

It's taken a lot of work to get us to this point proud of him for being a trooper and proud of us too as it's not been easy and things still aren't right but ranitidine helping the discomfort of reflux but still potential CMPA and due to reflux still seeing regurgitation, frequent spit up, vomiting 2hrs after a feed etc but obviously keeping enough down to gain weight which is great for now and is progress so I'll take that!

Sleeping has gotten slightly better thanks to a reflux wedge pillow DS sleeps in Moses for anything from an hour to 2 hours now but Russian roulette transitioning him from arms to Moses you have to be so careful or game over.

I know it sounds bad but luckily for me and my husbands sanity too he has recently been signed off work past 2 and half weeks due to stress mainly work related, it's meant he has been able to give me 3hr sleep breaks and when possible a late morning or afternoon nap I have still been knackered as staying up 2am until 8am isn't easy.

It's been great for him too as spending more time taking care of DS rocketed his confidence looking after him getting to know him and understanding his wants and needs and definitely questions himself less and isn't so quick to come and disturb my sleep to tend to his crying and just gets on with it Himself.

However from Friday DH is back to work and I don't know how I'm going to cope DS yes has made progress sleeping but still a way off I'm sick of sleeping downstairs because need sky tv to help me stay awake and without DH coming downstairs at 7am to let me have another 2hrs sleep which I've gotten use to the last 3wks I just don't know how I'm going to cope, I can't go back to the sleep deprivation and hallucinations again

We’ve stopped using Ewan Hashtag as I read somewhere that to get back to sleep, babies need white noise all night. So we’d set up a speaker and my tablet to play continuous white noise. I occasionally use the fecking harp to entertain him while I’m at the toilet.

I’m in the “I think I want another one” camp. I could easily just have the one, but I wouldn’t want to regret not trying for another when it’s too late. Two is enough though! I don’t want us to be outnumbered!

I’m going to say it quietly, but we’ve had 3 nights of him sleeping through since sleep training at the weekend. My body hasn’t quite adjusted yet so I keep waking up at daft times. But I feel so much better.

Hi all I've been reading but not posting at night as too tired ! Been trying to get out more during the day so feel more exhausted lol. Good to hear about the ones sleeping well!

Bad day yesterday, ds is now in the 9th centile weight wise having been born in the 95th. At 16weeks he weighs the same as he did at 8 weeks he's not feeding properly to get the fatty milk and it's gotten worse with his teeth, I think it's more uncomfortable to suck perhaps? I'm thinking of moving gradually on to formula. I'm pumping so much anyway (and getting almost nothing!) so washing bottles etc wouldn't make much difference from washing a pump several times a day...the lactation people at the clinic said it's not time to panic but to do what's best for me too. I feel so guilty, like I've been starving him...

Sleep wise he's decided he needs more wake ups before midnight, but after that it seems 1 at about 3 will do.so not the worst.

No no it IS great having two, I should have said. DD1 adores the baby, she’s always toddling off first thing in the morning to see “beebee” as she calls her and constantly kissing her and stroking her hair (like she’s the dog). And the baby spends all day watching her and smiles when she sees her. It’s so cute. But it IS a lot of work and I feel a lot harder with two. I think I feel that way because it’s early days and the lack of sleep.,In a years time when they are playing with each other I hope - it’ll pay off and it’ll not feel like double the work.

So in breaking news: on Monday night she had a dream feed at 1030 and slept till 630 (I was up checking she was ok). Tuesday night we had the usual (feed at 330 and mucking about for hours after), and I wrote off Monday night as a one off. But then last night... 1030 to 6 again...! Light at the end of the tunnel perhaps?!

We have the vaccinations today, so no doubt we will be back to the usual 3am wake up again....

That sounds rough Ember. I wouldn't wash the pump multiple times a day though! Use it, take the washable part off in one piece, put it in a ziplock bag in the fridge until next use - that's what people do if they work and have to pump more than once while they're there.

Just got back from follow up tongue tie appointment as we've seen no improvement. She reckons he might have a dairy intolerance based on what I've told her about his feeding, getting agitated and looks in discomfort after a few minutes of feeding. We've also had blood in a couple of nappies and I'm taking him to the doctor this afternoon. Did I read someone is doing a dairy free diet? I eat quite a bit of dairy - milky coffee, cheese, butter (oh I love real butter..) and then there's the hidden dairy... Will see what do says, if I have to cut it out I will of course. I haven't read back so I'm sorry I can't comment on anything but I will catch up and get back on it😉

Thanks for the tip Nina will start doing that for sure x

Hi everyone!

Just found this group. Have a 3 wk old and she's not keen on sleep!!

Just read this today though and made me feel better! grubbymummyblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/13/accepting-the-reality-of-infant-and-toddler-sleep/

@Lallypopstick oooh. Tell me more about the sleep training. Age of dc. Method. Time it took. Tell me everything!!!

@emberblu
That’s tough. I’d really be tempted to give a bottle of formula at that point but you have to do what’s right for you and if that’s bf then that’s what it is. But all I would say is formula isn’t evil.
Re the pump - what Nina said -it’s what I did. Put the parts in the fridge so I didn’t have to wash them each time and then washed and sterilised at the end of each day. Makes it much easier.

confused I'm definitely not worried about giving formula, I know it's a perfectly fine choice and we are definitely going to do a couple of bottles a day to help him grow :) I'm just feeling sad I failed, I struggled so much with bf but thought we might get it in the end, but it just wasn't meant to be and it's not worth me risking his health or my happiness over it. Feel better about it today, it is what it is and this kind of situation is what formula was made for.

@Sakura I have been df for a while now. Blood in nappies sounds familiar.

Yes I second that @Lallypopstick should hold a masterclass in baby sleep. I met someone today whose little girl has slept 8-8 from three months... and apparently no drugging was involved!

i forgot to attach that post, but it's lost somewhere on my phone. Either way, I've found DS2 so much easier and love the way he fits in when I was expecting a nightmare.

He's started to spread his naps out a bit more though and it has caught us out a bit! He's coming up for 5 months now so will probably nap a little less, bit we are really crap at working out when to put him down, some times it's easy to spot the signs other times the moment passes in the blink of an eye.

I looked up sleep info for a 5 month old, apparently the average 5 month old has 3-4 hours sleep in 3-4 naps a day and can go 8 hours overnight between feeds - PAH!!! I'm not sure which babies they got that average from but certainly none of the ones I know. I have decided to ignore that nonsense.

Just finishing feeding DS2 now, DS1 let DH put him to bed, so we will wait and see if he wakes in the night, I hope not, it's DH's birthday tomorrow so I'd like to let him lie in a bit.

Fingers crossed for good nights for everyone

What we did in the end to sleep train was the Ferber method @NinaMarieP and @HashtagTired - last Friday I downloaded his book after a mum from a baby group said she’d followed the method and her baby who had been waking up 10+ times a night was now sleeping through. We’d had a couple of bad nights and 6 months of poor sleep was enough.

I read Ferber and it really sank in that if I always offer boob when he wakes up in the night, then he’s always going to want boob.

I do get why people say sleep training is cruel. I thought that too, before I did it. For me, it was about knowing what his real hysterical cry is like, and that I’d stop if he approached that stage (he hated the car for a long time so I’m unfortunately familiar with that awful cry). We moved him to his own room to, just to do all the changes at once.

Ferber involves going in at intervals to reassure the child you’re still there for them and will always check that they’re safe. First night we had a lot of “shouting” - no tears but a cry that said he wasn’t sure about the new system and he wanted boob. After 50 minutes he was asleep (he wasn’t shouting the whole time). We had a couple of wake ups the first night and I decided I wouldn’t feed until after midnight. He woke up about half 11 and put himself back to sleep, then again at 3am so I fed him then. Then he went back to sleep with no protest, and woke up around 7am.

Each night got better. He settled quicker and had fewer wake ups. I only fed him during the night the first two nights. Then finally we had a full night. It was so bizarre - my Fitbit still shows me waking up fairly often because I’m just not used to sleeping for so long.

Top tips - get dad to do the sleep training and wear headphones! Or leave the house! (It’s not that bad though, I promise).

I've just been on my post-natal group and several people have babies, the same age as mine, sleeping 10+ hours a night.

Green with envy!

@Zampa I reckon quite a few of the group were bullshiting.
People are quick to exaggerate boast about their babies' sleep. Some babies do sleep well, but many more are sleep thieves.

We had a bad poo day after trying DD with stewed apple. Gave her some more just to confirm, but she might not be ready, poor little mite.
Finding it really stressful and always imagined weaning to be fun.

Ah, I hope not @AMagdalena. I'd like to think someone, somewhere, is getting some sleep!