Non-sleepers unite...

[Jellybean2017]

New thread for night (and daytime!) chatter for those awake more than they'd like with a non sleeping baby/child 😊

My DS is five months. First baby likely to be only baby if I don't start getting more sleep He is a nap and sleep fighter but incredibly cute so I choose to forgive him 😂

Awful night. DS just will not go in his cot at all. Every time I try he snaps from deep sleep to AWAKE. I'm used to him doing at least half of the night in his cot, he's going to have to sleep on me now and I hate doing that, it's so risky! But I'm so so tired I could weep.

So pleased for the better nights do feel I'm the only one still having the bad nights though! I just don't think he's ever going to improve. Feeling really down - could have done with a good night too.

Currently 40+6 and suffering with the worst acid reflux.

Propped up in bed trying not to gag while DH snoozes beside me.

I'm not bitter... honest

Cheshire: I remember those days, I was living on banana milkshake and tums by the end of my pregnancy!

I currently have a 12week old DS who decided to leak out of his nappy at 2 in the morning and doesn't particularly want to go back to sleep.

I can't complain though, he's normally a brilliant sleeper and he hasn't exploded nappy in a while. I probably just jinxed myself thinking it was too good to be true.

@Lisarism I'll have to try that!

Can't wait til he's here!

Second sweep tomorrow

whoAteAllThePercyPigs I'm with you. Another crap night here. I also feel like I'm the only one still having consistently terrible nights. I've so had enough but have no idea how to get the help / sleep I desperately need.

meepmoop I've also been unable to sleep in the short bursts LO has slept, strangely enough reliving his birth too!

I'm struggling here tbh. There's quite an age gap between my last 2 and I'm feeling a lot like LO has kind of ruined our lives. Feel awful admitting that but the lack of sleep is killing me, I don't get to spend any quality time with my other 2 anymore and we're so bloody skint now. I love him to pieces of course but I like it was a mistake having him Feeling pretty low

Hugs @xxrealistmum. I'm in awe of you having three, that must be so hard. It will get better though, this is always going to be the hardest stage. Not much consolation right now though I get that!

I tried to settle DS in the cot, big mistake, he's now wide awake. I'm really finding it painful having him lie on me as I'm propped up; it's killing my back.

I wish I knew what I was doing wrong. He has a sleepyhead and next 2 me cot, he's swaddled and I'm feeding him - don't know what else I can do! Going to pop into the baby clinic next week and see if they can help- something just isn't right here.

Got family coming to stay in the next few days and I'd so hoped to get some rest for that. Clearly not happening.

whoateallthepercypigs and xxrealistmumxx I'm with you too on the bad night.

DS1 did not go back to sleep I have been bin with him since i finished feeding DS2. He also has a cough and cold that kept waking him back up. DH had been allowed to put him to bed last night but didn't follow the new rules so it feels like we've gone a million steps backwards. I ended up freezing so had to curl up under a blanket at the end of his bed until he went to sleep.

Back in bed now trying to warm up, DS2 is likely to wake In the next ten minutes so I can't get back to sleep. I'm so cold and tired and achy.

Big hugs to you too whoAteAllThePercyPigs I honestly don't think you're doing anything wrong. We have exactly the same situation here - swaddled, fed, dummy, next to me ,- does't make s blind bit of difference to his sleep. Even co sleeping / cuddling doesnt work! Interested to hear what the baby clinic say

My second baby, DD, lulled me me into a false sense of security. DS1 was s bad sleeper but she was 'normal'. I didn't think it could be as bad as it was with DS1 but LO is breaking the record. I think the thing that makes me feel worse is that DS1 had always been a real challenge for us, still is, and now I keep thinking LO is going to be just the same and I can't take it!

It's a blessing and a curse having older children..... Yes the sleeping can get better but then there's all the other stresses to contend with!

Been up since 3 with DD2. She's also doing the deep sleep on me and then fussing and writhing when I put her down. Back to crying again within minutes.

I wish I knew what was going on when she manages her long sleeps.

He's not even sleeping well on me. Waking every 30 minutes. I thought babies needed sleep ffs?? HOW can he be so awake??

@xxrealistmum yeah older kids have their challenges too! DD luckily sleeps well nowafter two difficult years but now we have the challenge of potty training. I've been putting it off as I just don't have the energy for it, but it needs to happen. And I'm sure there's many challenges on the road ahead...

Ugh. This is our worst night yet I think. Don't think I'm going to get any sleep.

whoAteAllThePercyPigs yeah I have very little energy to deal with anything now, hence feeling like a crap mum to my other two. It's so hard to function with consistently no sleep. I don't blame you for putting off potty training, though if it's any consolation I found with my other two that it really wasnt that much of a challenge. Like all the other changes its a lot to do with getting the timing right. Still, don't think I could face that either with the way I'm feeling these days

LO settled for an hour between 4 and 5 but I was too upset to sleep. Been fussing since then. Back on the breast in a last ditch attempt to get another hour before the endless day begins. Sigh.

@xxrealistmum and @cats and @whoateallthepercypigs
I’m not sure what to say - but I too am really struggling with the challenge of having more than one. Somebody said to me “it’s not double the work when you have two” and it “only adds an extra layer of tiredness” but I reckon they were sugar coating it for me. It’s hard and I hate the fact that I don’t spend proper time with DD1, I too am putting off potty training her, because everything seems too hard right now. There is a two year gap between them and I just think it must be so much easier when the gap is larger and one is at school.... I am now wishing that circumstances had allowed that and I could have waited a few years before having DD2, but it had to be this way.
Oh well!
Bad night here too last night
Another day begins..

@cats @utterlyconfused @xxrealistmum it really is hard with more than one isn't it? Although I'm lucky in that DD doesn't seem too adversely affected by the arrival of DS and decided to start consistently sleeping through when he was born (I spent my pregnancy worrying about this!) she's not getting the attention from me and I miss my wee sidekick like crazy. The biggest thing for me is not having as much support from DH, because he's looking afyer DD. Which is good but all the things I had with DD - chances of extra sleep, help with the night shift and someone to take her while I went for a run or had a bath - aren't happening now, so the lack of any me time is relentless.

I'm with you on the age gap @utterly - I'm 38 so we didn't have time on our side. That said, friends who have DC who were school age when baby arrived have had different challenges- with older DC they know when their noise is out of joint- my friend's 5 year old refused to eat for months! Two years might feel a challenging gap now but I hope it will pay off later. There's two years between me and DB and we were very close growing up.

DS slept on me from 6 till.8 and I slept too. Woke feeling so achy, stingy eyes and a banging headache. Was going to take DS to Bookbug session this morning but sod that

for us all today...

whoateallthepercypigs xxrealistmumxx and utterlyconfused111 it's so hard isn't it?!

We have a three year age gap almost exactly, and DS1 is definitely playing up since the arrival of DS2, he was way to used to having us to himself, sadly we had no say in the gap, I would have liked it to be smaller.

I put off potty training as long as possible for the same reasons! But one morning (when I was on my own annoyingly with both kids and had to get DS1 to nursery) he just declared he was going to wear pants today and that was that. We've had very few accidents and when we have, they haven't been as difficult to deal with as I thought, and nursery praised us for waiting as it obviously worked. So I say leave it as long as possible!

Can't face going off skiing with DH today (or more leaving DS1, even with my parents it's a trauma going) so we are going sledging.

You mums that are dealing with two or more kids i salute you. I'm never having another!

@WhoAteAllthePercyPigs I've got a smear booked, I had to rearrange it as my period made unwelcome appearance.

My DD is absolutely refusing to have a nap. I went out the room to go the loo and brush my hair and I came back and she was asleep. Well, she was, until my ass hit the sofa. Now she is whimpering with her eyes open.

@NinaMarieP I'm with you, this is never happening again.

We're actually thinking about adopting an older child when DD is 5 or so.. figure there are plenty of children who need a good home

I'm another one saying no more children. It's not just the sleep deprivation, I feel really isolated and alone. I also feel like I've lost my sense of identity

I think I'm the anomaly here, we're trying for another as we would like a small gap. Not actively trying just seeing what happens.

I'm not having another for at least 4 years. I am really put off by my birth experience amd the prospect of having another allergy child 🙈

I am very happy with just the one! Not sure I could cope with sleep deprivation again! Plus my husband and I have absolutely zero chance of creating another one as things stand as we barely see each other and when we do the baby is attached to one of us 😐 one of my friends asked what I'm doing about contraception this morning..
I just pointed at DS.

@Jellybean I hear you 🙈😂

My best friend gave birth in December and was disappointed to find out it's not recommended to try for another baby for 2 year. I didn't know what to say 😂

I meant it's not recommended to try for another after a C-section which she had.

I'm going to buck the trend and say I love having two - it's hard work - I had to help DS1 do a poo whilst bfing DS2 the other day - but they are so sweet together and it is amazing how different two children from the same parents can be. The addition of DS2 I don't think doubled the work, and it was far less of a shock to the system than when DS1 arrived. I spent DS2'S pregnancy worrying that DS1 would be a nightmare and told myself I'd write off the first four months but none of that came to pass, DS2 is just brilliant (apart from the sleep theivery) and has fitted in perfectly. I'll add some pics of a post that totally sums it up that someone sent me when I was worrying.

Both boys in bed, we mucked about with timings so I could put both to bed which seemed to work, fingers crossed.

Good luck everyone!

:-)
This whole conversation made me laugh at myself! I too said NEVER again a few months after DD1 was born, and there is a lot to be said about only children. You can really focus on them and enjoy them and give them the best of everything including your quality time. But we went for it again! I honestly think the mind erases the experience - like child birth - and it must be an evolutionary thing because otherwise surely no one would ever have more than one child.

And having said I’m NOT having a third! DH wants a third, and my only thought is “over my dead body”....I can’t do this again. I want my life back. I know it will never be the same again but as DD1 is getting older it is getting easier and we can do some things that we did before the kids without it being a complete fucking nightmare....

I was looking back at some emails and realised DD1 started sleeping through 7 to 7 in late April when she was 6.5 months old. I wonder if there is any chance that DD2 will do that and this hell will end? She is no where as good as dd1 was....