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Original poster

Anyone want to accompany me while i sleep train DD?

523 replies

MrsKoala · 07/12/2017 13:58

I am starting to sleep train 13mo DD tonight. She has been a terrible sleeper since birth and always co-slept on the boob. I had a consultation with a sleep expert today who has talked me thru a gentle process of sleep training.

I am starting tonight as DH is away for a week from next Thursday, so i want it in place for then. DH is not particularly supportive because he hates them crying (and i love it obviously Hmm ) so it would be great if there was someone who was doing theirs at the same time for a mutual support group!

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Original poster
MrsKoala · 15/12/2017 15:20

That sounds good Fanny. Now dd is night weaned i'm tempted to piss off to a hotel overnight so DH can see how bloody exhausting it is doing all 3.

I didn't manage to nap, but am going for an early night for everyone. I was okay till i just ate a mince pie and now i feel like ive hit my face into a frying pan.

Tomorrow is going to be a loooooong day.

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Original poster
MrsKoala · 15/12/2017 19:33

All asleep by 7pm!!!! I'm just doing a quick tidy and dinner and then i'm going to bed. I hope i get a decent chunk of sleep before it descends into musical beds.

Good luck tonight everyone.

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mamma2016 · 15/12/2017 19:46

Thanks for letting us know your progress OP. You’ve inspired me to get going with the sleep training again. It’s worked brilliantly for us in the past and then illness, going away or teething disrupts everything and before I know it I’m rocking the baby to sleep and being woken every 2-3 hours. First night tonight and I’m hopeful we’ll get back on track soon and I’ll feel human again! Wishing you luck as you continue Flowers

boodles101 · 15/12/2017 19:47

Well done MrsK, hope you have a good night!

FannyTheFlamingo · 15/12/2017 20:00

Good luck mamma2016. We're going away to the PILs for 10 nights over Xmas and it's going to undo all the good I've done with the sleep training. Not looking forward to it at all!

LizzieSiddal · 15/12/2017 20:18

Oh that’s fab! Long may you all sleepGrin

Original poster
MrsKoala · 15/12/2017 21:07

spoke too soon. dd crying for the last hour.

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Original poster
MrsKoala · 15/12/2017 21:19

I don’t really know what to do. She’s been screaming while I shush and pat her since 8 but isn’t stopping. She’ll wake up the boys soon. If I take her out she’ll just want boob. I can’t cosleep with all of them. I’m fucked.

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FannyTheFlamingo · 15/12/2017 21:32

What has the sleep consultant advised you do in this circumstance? You need to do what's best and most restful for you, I think, seeing as you don't have any support this weekend.

I've just gone to bed and I really wish DD was with me. Our house is very big and she's so far away in her room. I really don't like it when DP isn't here.

Original poster
MrsKoala · 16/12/2017 01:25

DD awake again. I got her to sleep by bringing her in the spare bed and leaving the boys in the big bed. But then ds2 came in to me and then ds1. So we were all squished in a double. DS1 is a right wriggler and is like an octopus al over everyone, so woke her up and now she wont go back to sleep. She's crying at me for booo. Sigh. Such a fucking nightmare.

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Original poster
MrsKoala · 16/12/2017 03:54

DS2 awake now. I have even tried feeding DD to sleep but she's having none of it. She's starting to get tired now, but as DS2 has just woken up, so even if she sleeps he wont. Then it'll be ds1 up. So that'll be 2 hours sleep for me tonight. Added to the 3 hours last night and fuck nows how much i'll get tonight. I'll probably be doing 4 days on 7 hrs sleep.

I feel completely disconnected from the children now. In fact i can't feel anything for them. I just want them to go away. I think i'm depressed. I can't get motivated to do anything anymore. I just don't see the point in anything. No one sleeps. No one eats. No one cares what i do.

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LapinR0se · 16/12/2017 07:21

MrsK you were doing so well. This is a (very) bad night. Just write it off as such. The overall trajectory has been upwards.
Speak to your SC consultant today. Is she advising you on the boys or only your DD?

boodles101 · 16/12/2017 07:37

Yes speak to your consultant. I'm sorry you're feeling the way you do. The lack of sleep is possibly the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with and it really does mess with your mental health. Please don't be afraid to ask for help. Also speak to your husband about how you're feeling, he needs to be helping you going forward, not fighting against you. Whatever the sleep training plan is, he needs to agree and stick to it too.

Original poster
MrsKoala · 16/12/2017 08:18

The SC is also advising me on the boys. She has put together a phased plan. So i can't start on ds2 till i get dd sorted. The SC has suspended this as i can't progress till i get back to doing the plan - which i cannot while dh is away as it involves leaving dd to cry in the cot when she wakes in the night and i sit there shushing. It would wake the boys and they need me to sleep in with them at the moment. When DH is back he will sleep with them both upstairs and i can then let her cry without worrying about disturbing them.

Last night i totally caved and fed DD to sleep. I let her lay in the bed like she used to with my boob in her mouth. I am going to do that again tonight as it's the only way for us to get any sleep. Crappy sleep is better than no sleep.

I got everyone back to sleep at 5 and we got up at 7. So that's 2 chunks of 2 hours i've had.

I can't really talk to DH about how i'm feeling. He wont understand and may use it against me when it suits him. Better i just deal with it alone.

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LizzieSiddal · 16/12/2017 08:19

Oh goodness MrsK Sad what an awful night. I do hope you got some more sleep.

Can your money nickel round for a couple of hours? When is H back?

LizzieSiddal · 16/12/2017 08:19

Sorry xposted.

LizzieSiddal · 16/12/2017 08:20

*mum come around, that was meant to say.

Original poster
MrsKoala · 16/12/2017 08:35

DH rang me at 4am and said quite seriously 'you haven't killed the kids have you?' It's something he worries about as someone he knew in the army's wife did that when they were on tour. He's back tomorrow. I have already said i don't want him to walk in and say he's tired from travelling - like he did last time. I told him to sleep on the plane but he decided to watch movies instead and then sleep when he got home.

He's had 4 nights in a hotel and 2 long plane journeys to sleep on. I know i'm being mean and travelling can be tiring, but i really need the sleep more!

Sadly no one can come round - my parents are away. Going to take the kids to the local church kids party at 10-12 and then home again for screens all afternoon.

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LapinR0se · 16/12/2017 09:14

MrsK you’re going to have a hell of a time if you wean your DD off night feeds and then start boobing to sleep again.
Is there a person in the world who could help you tonight so you don’t co sleep with her?

FannyTheFlamingo · 16/12/2017 09:24

Aw MrsK, be kinder to yourself. You've had a really tough few days. It would've been tough without the illness! I only had 4 hrs last night, so I feel your pain, and I can't talk to DP either, so you're definitely not alone with that. I've only got 1 DD though, so a lot easier than 3! There's nothing wrong with a bit of screen time. Have a sneaky wine as well.

Original poster
MrsKoala · 16/12/2017 12:20

No one can help and I have to co sleep I just can’t be up all night. Which is a distinct possibility. All I need is each of them to be up 2 hrs each and that’s the whole night gone and then I have to function with them.

At least with dd on the boob in the bed I may get some sleep. I’m gutted as she was doing so well but because she got used to dh taking her into bed last week she won’t go the night in the cot.

We’ve all got conjunctivitis now and I think ds1 may have an ear infection . I’m so tired I’m just crying now.

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Cariad1988 · 16/12/2017 13:53

@MrsKoala you do whatever gets you all the most sleep night to night. Don't beat yourself up about what you see as a step back, you get yourself well, re-group and start again when you feel better. This will pass and it will be just a memory. You are superwoman right now, even if you feel the opposite. X

LizzieSiddal · 16/12/2017 15:59

I agree with Cariad just do whatever to get through tonight and until you feel better. You cannot do this on your own, you need your H there to take the boys.

Original poster
MrsKoala · 16/12/2017 16:13

We all napped 1-2. So i feel a little better. Just cuddled up on the sofa watching netflix with the kids.Their poor little faces are just covered in a thin layer of shiny slime.

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mamma2016 · 16/12/2017 20:34

Wishing you some good patches of sleep tonight and hope you’re all well soon.

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