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Original poster

New SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK thread - are we still here?

1000 replies

PavlovtheCatthatgottheCremeEgg · 07/04/2007 12:04

Another thread. My didn't we get full quickly! night sleeping good. Naps...not even 5 mins so far today...

OP posts:
cruisemum1 · 29/04/2007 14:00

btw - with gw/gr - idont think i could do it as i have dd and it takes time. not fair on her to abandon her while i sit wiht ds holding his hand! anyway, my prescence seems to inflame him further

cruisemum1 · 29/04/2007 14:07

also big apologies to all those i am not acknowledging in my recent posts. just feel angst ridden and shattered at the mo! i'm not usually rude - honest!

Swizzler · 29/04/2007 14:43

Hum, not sure we have sorted them out - DS now asleep for the first time today. We try and find what a)sends him to sleep (pushchair for us as well) and b) what keeps him asleep (usually walking round and NOT going into any shops). But hw wouldn't sleep in the pushchair today - too bust looking at everyone - so I fed him to sleep in our bed and left him to nap there. He might be getting too old to nap in the pushchair

ratfly · 29/04/2007 15:19

Haven't posted for a while as we have had a nightmare past few nights waking a 1, 3, 5, 6, then not napping in the day. I am soooooo exhausted....
I think we need to bite the bullet a bit, and try to enforce a routine in the daytime. Then we can be sure that he isn't really hungry at night so we can try to get him to sleep other ways.
Ginger - have you stopped feeding at night? if you have, how?!
And.... I think we need to wean the dummy - he would be a much better napper if he didnt drop his dummy and cry for it.
thankfully dh has ds for the day (Except feeds), and mum is coming over all mornings this week - makes me feel like such a failure to be asking for help when he is 3 1/2 months now.

katierocket · 29/04/2007 17:12

Swizzler - getting DS2 to stay asleep is the biggest battle for us, by which I mean getting him to go to sleep is hard but getting him to have a decent nap rather than 20 mins is really difficult. He used to only wake up when you stopped the pram but now wakes up even when you're pushing.

ratfly - After having a nightmare with DS1 and his dummy falling out all the time I swore I wasn't going to let DS2 have one but he really seems to need it (without it he screams and screams) and even though I've been really careful to 'ration' it - he doesn't have it in pram, once he's gone to sleep we take it away, he's definitely become addicted to it and I'#m sure that's the reason he's waking every two hours at the moment (he's the same age as your DS). Grim couple of options though:
1 - get rid of dummy and go back to hours of screaming as he will not 'let go' to go to sleep - but hope that he will find his fingers at some point soon
2 - accept that dummy is pain in the ass but does at least help him go to sleep.
As for having a routine we're so far away from that it's laughable
God knows, it's a nightmare isn't it.

cruisemum1 · 29/04/2007 17:12

ratfly - don't feel like a failure, you just have a challenging baby!. anyway, 3.5mths is so very young to have a real solid routine established. those that do are just plain lucky (i should know as my dd was like that and i've not done anything wildly different this time around). lets just hope tonight is better foryou. it has to be surely

cruisemum1 · 29/04/2007 17:16

oh and katie/ratfly - even if you had a routine it would be changing as your los needs change. so what is hte point well that is what i keep telling myself. also my ds (now 7.5mths) still only naps in the buggy. i have forsaken all hope of him being a cot napper as i cannot stand the crying it usually incurs. call me a wus but i know he will sleep ther (naps vary in lenght day to day ) but he does know what is expected when i put him in his there and usually gives me a gummy grin and then nods off. just noticed he has a runny nose and he has just had a revolting nappy. maybe that explaisn his unsettled nights

Tamdin · 29/04/2007 17:35

well we've all just been for a 'venture' photo shoot for my mum's 60th. ds has looked off colour all day and didn't 'perform' as i hoped he would for the camera.....then as soon as we left he was sick on the pavement outside (Bless him.) thank god he didn't do it in there!
should have known today would go like this when i woke up this morning with a huge spot on my cheek and the hair straighteners broke half way through staightening my hair [exasperated emoticon]and i had to drive to a friends house to finish it off. to top things off ds is only just awake from his post sick sleep and will prob not go to bed now until we do as he never has a late nap. routine....what the feck is one of those x

Swizzler · 29/04/2007 17:38

Your poor DS Tamdin. Might he go to sleep earlier if he's feeling poorly?

Resorted to feeding DS in bed this afternoon to get him to nap - fed him again when he woke after 1/2 hr so at least he got an hour in. Now recovering from days of housework and laundry but it's All Done

Swizzler · 29/04/2007 17:38

day not days

Tamdin · 29/04/2007 17:48

swizz hopefully he might shock me and go to bed normal time but i'm not banking on it. he's just refused every type of food except half a dry roll never know whether to allow him to eat after he's been sick but he looked starving. who knows eh...this motherhood malarkey is filled with unanswered questions!
i used to nap with ds all the time on our bed and then leave him there and actually i really miss it now. the photographer today though he was over 2 and i piped up no he's nearer 1 don't want my baby boy to grow up!!

MaeWest · 29/04/2007 18:30

Think my bub is poorly too - has had high temperature today and was v floppy, even snuggled up with me on the sofa this afternoon and just dozed off on me, most unlike him. We have dosed him up and he is having his bath now. Would prob explain last night.

Ratfly - I found in some ways that the sleeping thing got harder after 3 months (after everyone blithely telling me that he would settle down by then and be in a 'routine'). He just seemed to be much more aware of the world around him, too busy being nosey I think . I just did what it took at the time to get him and me the sleep we needed. Every so often I would put him down in the cot awake to see if he settled himself, but tried not to get stressed if it didn't and tried again after a week or so. I did a lot of pounding the pavements at one point as he would only sleep if moving. He is now nearly 9 months and will usually settle himself in the cot at least for his morning nap (which is often about 90 mins).

katierocket · 29/04/2007 18:39

cruise - I must just breed them like that because DS1 was the same, I don't think he ever slept in the cot in the day - it was either the car or the pram. It's a nightmare though isn't it if you've got another child and the baby has to be taken out to sleep. DS1 is off school this thursday and I dread to think how I will get DS2 to sleep (he won't even sleep in the car without first screaming for half an hour).

Tamdin - your poor DS - my DS2 was sick all last night, he and DP had gone away for the night with some friends and apparently he was up all night being sick. He's ok now, although completely knackered.

Ginger - how ridiculous saying not to feed them - the first thing peopel ask when I say that DS2 wakes up every 2 hours is "is he hungry" followed by "are you breastfeeding" - as if formula will just 'cure' the problem.

dreading tonight.
good luck all

katierocket · 29/04/2007 18:39

I mean DS1 was sick! jeez, addled brain!

katierocket · 29/04/2007 18:40

oh and Tamdin, apparently you should be led by them - so if he's hungry let him eat but only give him something plain

MaeWest · 29/04/2007 18:41

Then there's that slightly knowing 'oh, well if you're still breastfeeding...' which means, 'how can you expect your baby to sleep when you've trained them to wake up for the boob'

katierocket · 29/04/2007 18:44

Indeed.

ratfly · 29/04/2007 20:00

ok after another night taking over 1 hour to get to sleep, using a dummy, shh-ing AND rocking, I am seriously considering using CC. Any reasons why I shouldn't in a 3 1/2 month old?

cruisemum1 · 29/04/2007 20:12

no recommended that young ratfly. dunno the exact reasons why. i gyess it is a form of abandonment.

gingerninja · 29/04/2007 20:16

I haven't been feeding after the 10.30 /11.30 slot until the morning. (5 or 6 depending on her) It has been really easy (so far). The first 3 nights she slept in her cot until about 5 (one day until 6) and then came into bed with us. She did a bit of moaning, no crying but some kisses and a cuddle and she went back to sleep. I lay her on her side facing away and kind of spoon her. If she doesn't settle and is obviously hungry then I'd feed but she hasn't. Only once I've fed at 5 most have been after 6. (out of 6 nights). If she's woken in the night we will go in and give her her dummy hold hands or what ever it's been. We had progressed to sitting by cot but it's been a bit hit and miss the last three nights due to a mega meltdown after her 11 oclock feed and this evening after being in bed half hour. (she's been screaming and screaming, the sort that doesn't stop when you pick them up. She's had some nurofen now tho so I'm hoping that's helped. Ratfly my DD is 8 months tho so and is on three 'meals' a day so I'm confident she doesn't need a night feed. I would never withhold one just don't make it the first thing I offer.

lilysma · 29/04/2007 20:23

Hi all.

Ratfly, sorry you are feeling a 'failure'. I know how this feels - I think probably all of us with poor sleepers do! I have the nap problem too and am often v sick of walking round and round with the pram and wondering what is going to happen with her naps when she goes to nursery (probably in September when she'll be 10 months). So I have no answers for you on that one. Whether you can do cc depends on who you ask. Some say after 3 months, some after 6, some after a year and some never!! One possible reason for 6 months as a minimum is to do with brain development as I understand it - something to do with the the cortisol receptors being 'set' by then, so the stress of 'prolonged' crying can't do lasting damage (this is my poor lay person's understanding so don't quote me or take it too literally! it comes from a book called 'Why love matters' which is all about emotional care and baby's brain development). However I know quite a few people who did cc from 3 months onwards with no apparent ill effects so...

There are several long and intense threads on cc to check out if you want to see all the studies etc!

Blimey, this is an essay.

A quick question - does a runny nose along with lots of drooling, gagging and a cough sometimes mean teething or is it the more obvious cold??

lilysma · 29/04/2007 20:26

Btw ratfly, mine has got much better at taking a shorter time to settle first thing at night. When she was 2-3 months it literally would take hours (sometimes 2 or 3) but it got better with a structured routine: bath then into bed clothes, then feeding in bed in the dark with music. So that bit might improve anyway (?)

My problem now is that she goes to sleep too easily after bf and then she hasn't learned to settle herself so she looks for the boob again whenever she has a brief awakening (or so those sleep books tell me

cruisemum1 · 29/04/2007 21:03

ratfly - ditto lilysma with the 2 hour settling at around 2 - 3 mths. i started threads on it, spoke to people about it, ranted, stressed, tore my hair out and then it just seemd to get shorter and shorter and eventually stopped completely! i suspected that ds would feed until he was so full but wanted to suck to sleep and got uncomfortably full. it did regulate itself after time but it was sooooo incredibly stressful as i have a dd and she was often left alone downstairs with teh disney channel for company which made matters 100 times worse. hang tight - it will right itself I am positive hth

katierocket · 29/04/2007 21:07

do you think it is because they become so much more aware of themselves at 3 months? gawd knows but I do so sympathise ratfly (we are going through similar)

Don't think cc is a good idea wiht a 3 month old (although at 4.30 this morning when he'd been awake since 2am I did htink about it) because they don't make the link between cause and affect i.e. they don't relate you leaving them to learning to settle themselves IFYKWIM

ratfly · 29/04/2007 21:08

i have done research on the net, and it seems to be bad for cortisol - you were right lilysma! So will try 2 weeks of pu/pd instead - it seems much kinder....
wish me luck

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