Solidarity thread for the non sleeping babies!

[furryelephant]

Hello! A new thread for babies who don't bloody sleep and aren't sleep trained in any way to chat/cry to each other in desperation!

Just read from a very respectable source the daily fail that over tiredness causes your brain to eat itself! We're all fucked

My DD is 6 months and currently only believes in sleep if it's in my bed. And so close to me that when I breathe it rocks her back to sleep

OMG this could be me writing OP!

LO is 6months and wakes every 2hrs (always has done), in fact he slept better as a newborn!!! He has max 40mins naps in the day (x4 ish) and grazes all day and all night on the boob (he has 1-2 bottles of formula in the daytime now but only takes between 1-3oz per bott).

Would love to get him sleeping at least some of the night in his cot/crib/ but have tried most things (except CIO/CC). Considering floor bed next.

Have very little help from DH and I'm starting to lose the plot slightly!!!!! ☹️

Yay! A friend
It's so hard isn't it! Especially that your LO has never done any longer stretches my DD used to do two 3 hour stretches then hourly after that, then it all went wrong
They sound identical in the grazing all day and short naps though! Does your DS go down in his cot for naps?
That's rubbish that your DH doesn't help is that in the day as well as the night? I'm lucky (I use that term lightly ) that as I'm a single mum there's no partner to resent if they didn't pull their weight 😂

Can I join too?! Saw the title of this thread and thought yup that's 100% our situation! 10mo DD has basically decided she no longer wants to sleep at 8pm....will cry and and feed fuss for two hours before falling asleep. I blame the hot weather...

Also refuses to sleep in her cot. It's so hard sometimes!! Solidarity to you all.

Furry I salute you single mama! I don't know how you do it solo.

I'm especially resentful of DH this week coz he has been working on a project with a friend and they have been out all day and all evening (pub/ surfing/ etc) whilst I have been sitting on the bed with DS from about 7pm, boobing every 2hrs and feeling a bit miserable! Then there's DD (4yo) to worry about too (although she's good as gold bless her).

And no, apart from one pram push and one nappy change (if I'm lucky!) a day, he doesn't really help day or night

PS. DS has literally managed 2 x 30min naps in his crib his whole life (and not since about 4mo). I have to push him in the pram or walk miles with him in the sling 🙄

If one more person looks at me and says "it's good exercise though" I might get punchy

Hi speedy! 10 months how are you still sane? you must be exhausted it's horrible when they don't go to bed isn't it, feels like you're only chance of some time without a child attached to you is gone! Mine still hasn't realised she could go to bed anytime before 9pm roughly but I'm holding out hope the hot weather is definitely messing things up too, not that there's much to mess up with any of our babies by the sounds of it!

Muncher I think it's actually easier single than if I was with her father... or I'd be in prison for accidentally on purpose suffocating him in his sleep. I think I'd have changed the locks in your situation! Surely it's obvious that it's bloody hard work and he swans off to the pub getting punchy would be well justified if anyone cares about exercise when they're surviving on a few hours broken sleep isn't right in the head all I care about are where the biscuits are it must be so difficult walking so much with a 6 month old! It's exhausting without that as well

I've got to say one of the things that most annoys me about her not sleeping in her cot is that I can't risk the odd glass of wine in the evenings as she'll inevitably end up in my bed

@furry It is very frustrating especially in the evenings when you just want to go down and have a bit of time to yourself. Mine only feeds to sleep so all night wake ups are down to me. She is quite quick to fall asleep though when she wakes up at night, I just roll over, pop then boob in and we both fall asleep at some point. I really want her to sleep in her cot though! How's things with your 6mo? How do you get her to sleep? Fingers crossed for a good night for us all!

@muncher sorry to hear about lack of support from your DH! I totally empathise with the short naps, it's so hard! I've heard mythical tales of toddlers sleeping 2-3 hours in the middle of the day so I'm holding out hope for that.

@Speedybloomer that's good that it's quick to get her back off! Do you think you'll try weaning her off feeding to sleep? DD feeds back to sleep (usually! Last night not so much ) at night, part of me thinks well if it works don't try and fix it there's no one else to do the settling so I'd be up anyway 😂we still use shields as she still hasn't quite got the hang of latching (had a TT cut a few weeks ago) so have to faff about with them anyway! for naps I have to stand, bounce, and sway her side to side relatively vigourously with a dummy. And 1 of 2 ed sheeran songs playing she's a very strange child!

Furry I do really want to night wean! I love bf her but I know at night it's just for comfort. She eats 3 meals a day plus snacks so I know it's not hunger. Part of me thinks I just need to go cold turkey and maybe that'd help her sleep through but then again like you said if it works then you're always nervous about changing it! Nipple shields sound a bit of a faff but good to hear you're able to feed her back to sleep. Lol at the ed Sheeran song, whatever works!!! Have you considered using any other sleep methods? I've been thinking about some sort of gentle sleep training...not sure it'd work though and I can't bear to hear her cry!

Speedy ah it's such a hard one isn't it maybe one day she'll just stop needing it? when you're they exhausted it's pretty much whatever works quickest isn't it!
The shields are a huge faff we were starting latching without them then a bout of baby tonsillitis stopped that in its tracks! But without them we wouldn't still be breastfeeding so got to give them some credit
I considered it and bought a book The Cheshire Baby Whisperer I think it was! I read it then never did it I couldn't listen to her cry either, the book was about more gentle methods but I still think she'd just get angry at it there always seems to be a reason to put it off for a bit longer will you be going/returning to work at any point? I'll be going back some point between 9-12 months so if not I'm hoping my mum will sort her out as she'll be looking after her

My DS1 refused to nap in the cot until
He hit about 7/8 months, then suddenly he would sleep for hours and I'd have to wake him!
DS2 is 18 weeks and constantly waking through the night - every 2 hours or so. He naps well in the day however, grateful for small mercies! 😬

Hello! Can I join. DD is 22 months. Goes down at 9:30pm, wakes at 5am and still wakes 4/5 times a night. Has only slept for more than 4 hours 5 times in her life. She's been on one nap a day since she was 10 months and they're 40 mins at heir longest. Usually 15 mins.

Speedy - I had that toddler, 12-3pm every day, I had to wake him! It just happened when he was ready. Then found I was tied to the house with just a few hours am and pm to go out etc, double edged sword really!

Oliack that's what I'm hoping for did the napping well just suddenly happen? That's great that your DS2 naps well at least! Crossing my fingers that it continues for you

YouCant oh god that really is just horrendous! How are you even slightly coping? It sounds like your DD only needs a crazy tiny amount of sleep

@furryelephant I'm alive I went back to work when she was 18 months and that's made it a bit harder. It doesn't seem to have any negative affect on her. She's not even grumpy! I think she's like Maggie Thatcher 😂

@YouCant that does sound really tough, but it's amazing what our bodies can get used to! Lack of sleep just becomes the new normal. What I find hardest is the broken sleep.

@Oliack wow the 3 hour naps do exist! Any tips on lengthening naps? Mine normally does around 30 mins only.

@Furry I'm going back to work when DD is 13 months so I really really want to get sleep sorted before then otherwise il be a broken woman!

@Speedybloomer we're also BFing and it makes it double difficult as unfortunately DH doesn't have lactating breasts! The broken sleep kills me too. But also that we live next door a right twatty family who think it's ok to let their DD play their fucking trumpet at 7:30am on a Saturday which is the only day I get to sleep in

I have a one year old non sleeper. I agree it's the broken sleep that's the hardest. In happy if I can get one stretch of 4 hours. That's better than 8 lots of 1 hour iyswim.

@Join a solid block is definitely so much better! Sorry to hear about your non sleeper. Sounds like things don't magically improve once they hit 12 months (like I'd been hoping for!)

@YouCant oh how I wish my DH had lactating breasts to help with night feeds!! It's a convenient way for him to opt out of night wake ups. A trumpet at 7.30am??? I think that would actually make me resort to violence....I get annoyed if the postman knocks too loudly!!

@Speedybloomer I went round and had a word this morning, in my PJs, breasts swaying in the breeze & looking pretty manic! Her response was "oh I did ask her to stop" I told her she better ask again otherwise "it's on"

I will make her life hell

Hi furry how's it going so far? He went down so much easier tonight and by 6:35 was out like a light. He has just woken for a fed and it's the first time he has woken since putting him down so that's an improvement! Fingers crossed for the rest of the night! How are those pips coming along!

Hi everyone! My DS is 6mo and from birth till around 16w used to sleep like a dream, I had to wake him to fed and when he was a little older would regularly sleep 7-6. He now takes a long time to get to sleep with about 72 million wake ups before he is ready for the day at around 5am. The last few mornings he has wanted to get up at 3am!
He naps well during the day and I don't have too much trouble getting him down but he will only sleep in his bouncer chair if at home. He used to have 7oz every 4 hours but now struggles to eat 5/6. He is formula fed and like some of you, I do everything with no help from DH. In a week he might fed him once for a bit. He just wants to play with him. Some times I want to slap him (DH) but then I just remember that it's best if I do it as then it will get done right!

Hello everyone. I'm starting to feel at the end of my tether with this non sleeping lark. 10 month old DD just won't at the moment. Fine through the day but night time, forget it! She went down at 7:30 tonight ad after about a gazillion wake ups I'm in the living room as thought it might be the heat. No such luck. Now she's just playing. Aarrgghh!!