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Sleep

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Original poster

How can I stop BFing to sleep?

142 replies

ArtichokeTagine · 10/03/2007 21:09

My 7 month old DD has always been breastfed to sleep. If she wakes in the night I breastfeed her then too. She is addicted to the breast - using it as a sleep aid, a comforter and a food source. If we lay her in the cot awake, or try to cuddle or rock her to sleep she screams and screams. They only other way she falls asleep is in the car or pram. Often I bf her to sleep and she wakes as I lie her down and I have to start all over again.

I return to work in 8 weeks and 3 nights a week DP will put her to bed. We have to find a way to get her to sleep without the breast and we need to start now so she can be eased in gently. What can we do? I do not agree with straight cc.

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lovefamily · 26/03/2007 22:38

cruisemum - i think she would take it as she went through a phase of not settling in the car (never known a car to loose its 'magic') and used one once or twice when on journeys.

i think id have the same rule as you - dont think she should have it if awake and in 'play' mode etc - only for sleepy times.

Im 75% convinced to try it now lol. hoping she would find it if it fell out - she certainly seems to find me when she wants me by shuffling and grabbing etc .

How you going anyway? and hows anyone else going too. Im kinda of the opinion i think cc would work - but avoiding (and putting off) doing it at all costs. Currently trying to get dd attached to a Cuski as kindly recommended by a fellow mumsnetter

cruisemum1 · 28/03/2007 19:01

lovefamily - did you get the dummy? HOw did it go?

Original poster

ArtichokeTagine · 28/03/2007 19:57

Hi guys

Having started this thread I thought I would update you all. Its been 2.5 weeks since we did a watered down version of CC to teach DD she could get to sleep without the breast (it was watered down because i stayed with her). Things are still going really well. After the first night of crying she has gone down like an angel each night - not a whimper. She wakes alot less in the night too. It seems stopping feeding her to sleep has stopped her waking. We dropped the dream feed and most nights she sleeps 11 straight hours. If she does wake I do BF her because I want her to know I am still there for her. I think she probably wakes one night in 5. She is still waking quite early in the mornings but nevertheless DH and I are like new people. Sooooo happy and rested.

I hope I have not jinxed us by posting this but I just wanted to let you all know that there is hope . Now I just have to work out how to get her to suck from a bottle so she can drink EBM when I go to work...

OP posts:

cruisemum1 · 28/03/2007 20:55

artichoke - thanks for your update! I still toy with hte idea of doing something proactive. I am afraid though, I guess. ds does get very very upset when left to cry (which is rarely) and on the two occasions when I have tried pu/pd, he went ballistic and it was so upsetting and in the end nothing was achieved as I relented. I ahve some really major events coming up in the evenings soon which will necessitate my ma putting ds to bed. She, naturally, cannot be left with dd and ds while if he is screaming, resisting bedtime etc. Bedtimes are currently really peaceful which is why i hesitate to do anything. but i do sometimes have to settle him several times and he stil wakes,on average, twice nightly. I suppose I hope he grows out of it but i am sceptical . I will keep this thread bumped so I can refer when I am desperate!

Original poster

ArtichokeTagine · 28/03/2007 21:16

Exciting that you have some really major evening events Cruise. What are you doing? I happily remember my days of evening parties (DH and I both work in politics) but I think those days are over (for a while at least).

OP posts:

cruisemum1 · 28/03/2007 21:37

Ohmygod - my dh is involved in politics! He also works a director of entertainments/onboard services for a cruise company. the events are a party at the commons, a Water rats party (entertainments people lovey! ), and we have VIP passes for Genesis concert in July. This one entails dinner prior to concert, private box, party afterwards etc. My evening will be marred if ds is not settling!./ How are you involved in politics. Dare I ask which side you play for?????

lovefamily · 28/03/2007 22:06

cruisemum - havent got dummy yet - the ones i do have seemed a bit small so just need to go shopping for some 6 months plus ones. Shes seems to like the ones with the smaller (half size) teat but most I find are the big bulb shape. I want to stop bf now as i feel weve had a good 'innings' but cant imagine how on earth thats gonna happen.

artichoke - im rushing round while dd is asleep trying to get tons of stuff done as i know it wont be long before she wakes and i have to 'feed' for half an hour and then try multiples of times to 'sneak' away - so if you dont mind - what exactly have you done and how have you managed this fantastic achievment - not bf to sleep but put her to bed and she has cried but you have stayed with her?

must get on - no doubt ill be running up the stairs in a min

cruisemum1 · 29/03/2007 09:57

loefamily - don't you find it scary the thought that you may hav to leave lo to cry? I do

lovefamily · 29/03/2007 18:16

hows it going all?

cruisemum - im kinda 'coasting' hoping that she will grow out of night waking . Think its one of those things ill accidentally NOT get round to iykwim. Otherwise if i do get spurred into action by something and decide it has to be done - absolutely dread the thought with every bone of my body! Just know she wouldnt take to it from todays experience. We had been on a journey today and for half an hour in car she was screaming cause shes dropped the dummy down the side and was tired - cried till i got home. I gave her the dummy on the way there when she was tired and she went off to sleep after 5 minutes of examining it, pulling it out and trying to get it back in - so think a dummy could help. It was terrible though - i just couldnt see her calm down - even in a car.

cruisemum1 · 29/03/2007 19:37

lovefamily - for yoyr dd's horrendous car journey! I cannot drive if ds is crying. Stresses me out completely. Fortunately, he seems to lvoe the car whether he is awake or asleep so I rarely hear a peep. Yes, the thought of actually having to take action scares me rigid which leads me to the conclusion that cc is not for me. Just cannot seem to find any other way roudn things thoug. Some lo's do grow out of waking I'm sure so fingers crossed for our two . Keep in touch, I want to know if you decide to take matters into your own hands!

cruisemum1 · 30/03/2007 11:14

lovefam - with you on the stopping bf.but i am finding it hard as ds is v dependent on it. how are you today?

lovefamily · 30/03/2007 14:59

cruisemum - ok thanks u? have you decided on a plan as such yet? - dd seemed totally unaffected by the car 'incident' - she was her usual happy self after a feed and sleep.

hows everyone?

still contemplating the future with regards to sleeping and bf. Got a feeling ill end up doing nothing and just making the best of how it is hoping that itll change.

would still be v interested to know how artichoke did it with more detail

cruisemum1 · 30/03/2007 17:31

no plans yet. am too scared. hate to hear him scream .

lovefamily · 01/04/2007 22:17

pretty much same as me then, lol. the dummy has helped for car journeys (we got a clip on thingy now though) but if i try any other time she just pulls it out and plays with it and it wakes her up if i try and give it to her if she stirs once gone to bed.

hows the older one deal with it all? ds1 is coping but finding lack of attention difficult bless him

MillBill · 02/04/2007 16:18

Hi, I have read the whole of this strand with great interest as tonight is THE NIGHT - my ds is NOT going to be bf to sleep initially, or when he wakes during the night (usually a number of times, but I forget, as up until now we co-sleep after I get too tired to take him back to his own room). My dh is going to be 'on call' tonight and I will take over the next night etc. Was very interested in Artichoke's story, as we intend to stay in the room with ds, but no bf. Artichoke said staying too close to her baby only set her off more, so she sat in another part of the room. Could her baby still see her? What is pu/pd please? I think we intend to cuddle ds to sleep and ignore his crying. Neither of us intend to leave the room (I taught my baby that when he cries I go to him - day or night). I'm 21 weeks pregnant and it was thought best by dh to do it now rather than later. Ds has been weaned in the day for 3 weeks - not a problem at all as could divert his interest. Any tips would be greatly welcomed!

cruisemum1 · 06/04/2007 21:43

artichoke - i did cc last night. didnt plan to it just kind of happened. took 40 mins total and he slept for 10 hours! tonight was about 6 mins. I am nervous about what will happen in the night but optimistic too. just keepin you posted

Original poster

ArtichokeTagine · 06/04/2007 22:12

Thanks for keeping me posted Cruise. I am so glad that it went well last night. 10 straight hours is bliss isn't it? From 40mins to 6mins in 24 hours is also good. I really hope it goes well tonight.

We are a month in now and DD is doing brilliantly. We had one night last week where she cried for 3 mins but every other night she goes down with no problems. In fact I think we both really enjoy her new bedtime routine and having a last cuddle while she is awake before lying her in the cot. She has not woken in the night for about 2 weeks and she now sleeps from 7.30pm to about 7am (so no more awfully early mornings). We are off on holiday for a week tomorrow and I am so scared all this progress will go out the window when she is faced with an unfamiliar room, no black out blinds and a travel cot. Wish me luck.

MillBill - I am sorry not to have replied. I just saw your post tonight. I hope your week has gone well. It is probably too late to answer your questions now but in case it is helpful my DD could not see me but I breathed loudly so she could hear I was nearby (sounds odd but it worked for us).

OP posts:

MillBill · 06/04/2007 23:39

Artichoke - thanks for response. It's been a strange week but ultimately we met our goal - not to b/f ds to sleep anymore. During the week he has fallen asleep in his bed, on the hard floor or in our bed, in or out of my arms. I followed his cue and stayed with him. But no more b/feeding, which is what I wanted to achieve, so happy, thanks.

cruisemum1 · 07/04/2007 20:51

btw- i still bf lo to sleep but any wakings afterwards when i do cc. he woke briefly tonight and i went in and did usual thing. he was alseep before the door was shut!wondering if i should cut out bf to sleep? worry worry worry.....!

MillBill · 07/04/2007 21:00

I HAD to cut b/f to sleep really, as new one on the way and couldn't face the reality of tandem feeding, so thought best get it sorted now rather than later. But I've cut out all b/f now. Ds doesn't seem phased by it and I've got my boobs back! It was getting quite painful towards the end! How old is your lo?

cruisemum1 · 07/04/2007 21:53

7 mths today. yours? oh, aand congrats!

MillBill · 08/04/2007 00:45

Thank you! He's 21 months.

cruisemum1 · 09/04/2007 10:26

artichoke - have you had dd wake in the night? ds woke last night at 3ish and night before. i did feed him but planning to stop once i am sure he has got the sleeping thing cracked. i guess it will be more cc? i did do this the night before last once he'd fed and it was quick and painless.

cruisemum1 · 09/04/2007 21:58

cruisemum1 · 10/04/2007 16:43

anyone there?

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