new 'SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK' thread

[tibsy]

hi ladies, the other one ran out of space, so if no one else starts a new thread, here it is....

oh, last night was terrible, and i don't know how to do naps. he screams when i try to rock him to sleep. if i put him in his cot he just looks around all intently while whinging at the top of his voice. anyway, now he's sitting in the bouncy chair, and not making a squeak. myabe i'll try the nap again on the next yawn. was out to lunch with a friend yesterday and was so jealous when she put her same age daughter next to her on the long sofa seat and she fell asleep.

Amber: naps still a struggle for usas well. NCSS recommends prioritising naps (same time each day, same routine, use diff methods of getting to sleep) for a few weeks, so we'll try that.

swizzler, i just find it soooo frustrating. mostly i can't get him down for a nap at all, and when i do he lasts a maximum of 1/2 an hour. and then he gets all cranky because he's overtired, so most days i just resort to carrying him in a sling, because i'm too frustrated to do otherwise and can't be bothered to put up with the crying from overtiredness. what to do?

amber - would he settel in his buggy? i have to wheel ds round the house! pain in the bum but it does yield results

our buggy sits unused near the door . he screams every time i put him in it. only place he really sleeps in the day is in the sling. its okay sometimes, but i would like it if he could occassionally sleep without me carrying him.

i just KNOW he'd be so much happier if he had a few 2 hour naps. sigh. how to convince him of that!

I want to give you hope. Don't know if it was a coincidence but last night DD slept well. After a few days of waking every hour or so between 7 and 10 and then a couple of times in the night being very unsettled she slept from 7 til 9.30 (woke as DH made some noise coming in) fed then slept 'til 1!! Brought her into bed and fed, she slept 'til 6.15. I wonder if now that tooth has cut through it has eased the pressure. She definitelyseemed more settled and is a lot happier in herself today.

If it's just teeth I can cope, it means there is an end in sight. Here's hoping

amberjee - as ive said before, and i dont know if its helpful and reassuring at all, hope its not annoying, but my lo was just like yours, and he hated going in his buggy too, and now he's so much better, and a combination of gentle trying things again and again, and his age...it will get better!
we now always put him in his buggy outside the door cos when we strapped him indoors he would go mental. he still isnt delighted with being in a buggy, but he sometimes falls asleep, sometimes screams, and sometimes is ok to look around at stuff. im sure as yours gets older and more confident and secure that it will improve.
okay, have to take those bottles to the bottle bank.
x

another rubbish night - ds still suffering. Took us both into spare bedroom so dh could get some decent sleep. Dh has late meeting tonight so do not know when will get a break though he has promised to bring fish and chips with him as cannot be bothered to try and cook anything My poor little snot monster

Ginger - great news, hope it continues

Amber - my friends 4 week old sleeps better than my ds

Swizzler - thanks for tip will try propping up

Tibsy - forgot to to say, hope your lo is feeling better

thanks all.

maebee, yeah i have to keep reminding myself never to write anything off. somedays i try things that i'd given up on, like the pram, like co-sleeping, swaddling, i try to be intuitive about what might work on a particular day. today i did take him in the pram as i wanted to try on a jumper in a shop, and after walking for an hour, he actually fell asleep for half an hour and then when he woke up he just looked around for another half an hour before crying. that was quite good, even though he didn't get much sleep.
so its 2.00 and basically since he woke up he's only had 2 x 1/2 hour sleeps. not much huh. today he just seems intent on staying awake no matter what, he's not too unhappy, so i'll leave him to it until he hits meltdown i guess.
he's learning to suck his fingers which i think is a good thing, hopefully it will help him soothe himself sometimes. i was on the verge of giving him a dummy, but i think i'll hold off because i don't want to jeopordise the finger sucking thing.

ps. health visitors are so useless. mine just rang to see how i was going and said 'oh well, maybe when you wean him at 6 months, he will settle down'. he he, yeah. sure, thats it

Amber, I think you're doing a fantastic job. I can't remember how old your lo is but for the first 3 months or thereabouts my lo was very unsettled. Still is sometimes actually. All I can advise is go with it. Whenever I try / have tried to instigate a routine, sleep training whatever, it's just wound us both up until we're both hysterical. My Lo has only ever napped for 30 mins at a time, you can set your watch by her but she started to cope with it a lot better when she was around 4 months. I remember in the early days reading all the books and thinking I must get her to sleep longer so literally spent days (and I mean days) shushing her etc etc. It just meant that I'd spend most of my day in a darkened room, it made no difference and it just made us both miserable. I actually think I was quite close to PND because of it. I only started to relax once I'd let go of the idea of trying to get her to do what I wanted and just did what she wanted, pick her up, sling. Yah the house was a tip and I hardly did anything but it really is such a short time in the grand scheme of things.

Having said all that I've had to remind myself of this againg recently because shes got very clingy again and again, if I just do what she wants life is so much easier.

LO does that 1/2 hour thing. Only occassionally has he slept for 40 mins in the day (bliss!) Anyway, I was thinking on my walk today that maybe 30 mins is just his thing and he's on a different sleep schedule to other bubs. So you've just echoed my thoughts - thanks! I think I'll stop stressing about his lack of sleep and just try and go with it if he is determined to only do 1/2 hour here and there. weirdly today he is quite happy despite having hardly any sleep. i wonder what tonight will be like. i guess that's the test. i know what you mean about spending all day in a darkened room with such paltry results, hardly worth it at all.

ps. he is exactly 3 months today, so he has to start behaving from now on!

Amber: we've been struggling again with naps today - managed to get 20 mins in the cot this morning after feeding him to sleep, he's now out with DH in the buggy and should get another sleep in. So difficult to plan naps when he needs to go out and we need to eat or do other stuff! Am going to concentrate on 1 nap per day (prob am) and get him in the cot, for the other nap he'll go in the buggy. Strange how much better I feel with a Plan, even if it never quite works out the way it should!

Def looks like there's a tooth through, but about 3 more on teh verge of bursting through so don't think he'll settle any time soon . We keep plugging away in the hope that things will improve.

hear hear ginger!

cruise - any interest in buddying up this weekend for some sleep training?

I'm going to have a serious attempt at cc ( dabbled in past but had to give up as went abroad for sad reasons)

lots of love x

hi all havent been on in a while as i am bak at work and am weaning dd of her dummy at bed which is going great and guess wot we had our first nite of sleeping from 7-7 last nite, I havent had chance to catch up on everyones post but ill try xx

Hope you are all getting some sleep xx

ami - i am so tempted to join you but we have people staying at the mo. don't know if i could put them through that! they may report me to social services!! . i am seriously thinking of going that route though as I canot see any way of lo learning the art of sleeping by himself. keep me posted. I am very interested to know what you do...

youngmum well done you on the good night ! .

DD has 3 teeth coming through at the same time, no wonder she has been grizzly! I went to show her first top tooth to a relation, and she noticed that the eye tooth is almost through, there is a split, and today, I noticed a split where her other front top tooth is coming, and next eye tooth looks close too!

Naps - I also have a night mare with naps. DD has never been a great napper, half hr max mostly, but recently have resorted to one of us going to bed with her, depending on who is here, and the other day both went with her and she slept for 2 hours. She stirs a few times but when she sees us she goes back to sleep again. She gets woken up by the slightest noise in the daytime. She has around 30 mins twice a day, but mostly seems fine, apart from last couple weeks with teeth hurting her. Her newest trick is to fall asleep at table when eating!

Night times are mostly better, but last night she woke twice, sounded very dry throated, has had a cold, but also wonder if her room is too stuffy, have turned hentral heating off as it is not needed in her room, air it every day and am getting some plants to help circulation. Anyone used a humidifier? Dr had said the room needs to be humid.
to all. I may be on for a bit this evening so can touch base!

hi cruise

put him down at 9pm half asleep after his bottle ( breast feed thru night and morning and when I get back from work). He screamed as expected, I tried to soothe him and then left. Watched the clock for 5 mins, went back in and put him on his side and shushed and patted his bottom quite fast. He settled down, went to sleep and as I left he started crying again but this only lasted a few mins.

So..6 mins of crying and he went to sleep. Am gonna do the same all night - going in at 5/10/15/20 mins then staying at 20. I don't pick him up just pat and shush. I'm also going to stop the night feeding which i'm really really sad about but i don't think my ds can do it. It tends to escalate with him form one night feed to many. I I have enough milk to continue to do 7am and 7pm.

ami - well done|!!! i MUST do something soon as ds is waking more and more. getting desparate.

good morning!

Ds woke at 02.15 and didn't settle until 03.45. It wasn't all crying - after about 40 mins I did a bit of gradual withdrawal so he was settleing with me saying sshh from the end of the room ( i would never have believed that would work until now - I think after crying they are happier to be settled in any way)

Anyway, he slept thru until 06.30 when I gave him his first feed ( a first for him) and slept until 07.45.

Despite my being up for nearly 2 hrs in the night I feel great. I had sleep in a block as opposed to constant wakings and i'm very optimistic about the next few days.

The best thing was when I went in to see him before I went to work, he had woken up and was standing up in the cot smiling!! So depite the crying - he's slept better for it as well.

Will keep you posted!

ps - cruise, just wanted to say, if you do want to try something you need to be completely committed and convinced it's the right thing to do. It's taken me 8 mths to get this far but I now know it's the right thing for us. So much so, I was stopping my husband going in last night as it was too soon - I think even he was surprised at my resolve.

My motivation comes from 2 places - I'm starting a new job in a mth which is more demanding and I need more sleep. And I'm also thinking about trying for another baby in a few mths ( i'm not getting any younger!)

So make sure the time is right for you.