Night time 'bad habits' ... the independent baby sleep - support thread for anyone trying to break baby sleep habits

[Millipede170]

This thread is for anyone who routinely 'helps' their LO to get back to sleep when they wake in the night, would like them to start being more independent, but doesn't relish the thought of CC or CIO. Or maybe you've been there and are out the other side and can share your journey/pearls of wisdom (you could be my new hero). What methods have you tried or come up with? Please share ...

Let me pass the matchsticks and strong coffee! Sounds horrendous for you both. Not what you want to hear but we had a good night with DD. Fed at 11 and slept til 5.15. Her & DS are spending a couple of nights at grandmas tonight & tomorrow so I'm certain she was just gearing herself up to sleep perfectly for her!

Well done MrsE. A couple of nights at the grandparents sounds like an epic idea!!

First settling in session at the childminder today and I'm starting to feel somewhat emotional. Just trying to see it as him going round to a friend's place for a few hours. Thought I was totally fine, but cometh the hour ...

Would Grandma like two more for the night MrsE? I have two babies I'd like to volunteer for a visit.....!

How are you feeling now Milli? I can completely understand any tearfulness - when it looked like mine were going to nursery, I felt the same even though I knew they'd enjoy it - I think all my friends have felt the same. If it's any consolation, everyone I know with children at nursery/ childminders says their DC are absolutely fine and have a great time

I'm sure she'd have them ruby!

I remember DS's first day at nursery I was def more emotional than he was. As long as you don't let him see you cry he'll be fine. He will love it, playing with all the kids plus it's the best feeling in the world when you collect them and you see their little face beam at you as they are so happy to see you!

Sitting in the car park at Waitrose wasting time before I go and pick him up. Feels so weird without him. Hopefully he's got on ok. Looked pretty confused when I left but he knows and likes his childminder so I'm sure it'll be ok.

How was your ds when you went to pick him up? I wonder if he did have some idea if his sleep was so bad last night as it seemed to have turned a bit of a corner. Is his cough still bothering him? My ds had some terrible nights at end of last week - CC was mentioned again!! But then a cough appeared and a bit of Calpol and snuffle babe and he's back to 3 wake ups- so manageable!

I can't imagine ever having a night away from him at the moment- much as it would be lovely, I'd be so worried about the poor person looking after him, he can really scream in the night when he wants to!
He took half an hour to settle tonight, partly because I initially refused to pick him out of the cot after putting him down, but he got hysterical so dh picked him and put him down a few times- he's still climbing up the bars and now jumping up and down too!! Last night I did no pick up and it worked. I guess he's not quite ready for every night!

Enjoy your peaceful night MrsE, or can we call you sleepy tonight?!

Hi all,
I am checking in after a considerable absence. Apologies.
I have had a quick skim read of posts and it is reassuring that others are still working at it.
We have had a lot of change and illness which has meant I have been a bit busy with both DDs.
Currently on night 3 of 'no cry' sleep training as we went back to square 1 with DD2 after she had chicken pox. I had been eliminating one feed at a time and it took 2 weeks to get rid of the first one!
New method employed: no feeds before 4am.
Some progress. Night 2 was pretty useless and then I had to go to a 3 hour 1:1 training session the next day. Tonight she is calmer but has been awake for 30 mins now. I am getting a painful neck from all this cot hovering.
When she has slept, I have had insomnia.
Sleepy vibes to all xx

Morning! Sorry we have been awol!
Just checking back in then will have a read through...

Summary for us. Dd sleeping better. Down to two wake ups and have the first two teeth through. Yay on all counts!
Bigger ds currently having a growth spurt and eating like a horse and waking in the night too! So dh is also up!!

Currently on holiday and Dd seems to have gotten over her travel cot phobia! Praise the Lord!!!

Hope everyone's doing ok. DS's first couple of hours with the childminder went well, he seemed totally relaxed when I went to pick him up. He's doing a slightly longer day next Wednesday but then if he's still perfectly happy we're just going to go for it and start on the full days the following week. There doesn't seem much point in doing lots of settling in days to be honest, has anyone else found otherwise?

Nights are a lot better, mostly sleeping through (yay!!) but now waking most mornings at 5.40 which is a bit of a killer. I wonder if it's because I let him have a long morning nap. Think I'll cut that down and see what happens; the only problem is that the morning nap is the reliable one, and if he only does a short nap after lunch, we're basically buggered for the day.

Hope you all have a lovely Easter.

My Lil monster has never slept well during the day or night. I bf til 11months. This ended due to a stint in hosp. Luckily for dad m was drinking water from a ff beaker by then so a switch to milk was ok.
He's been in nursery since 8months and doesn't sleep much there either.
We have a full bedtime routine of milk, cuddle, cot whilst awake and then patted to sleep. This bit is fine. But m won't sleep more than 3hrs and can sleep less than 1hr when being a pain the bum!
Cc doesn't work for him, he can carry on for 3hrs til I lose my sanity and pick him up which hits the mute button instantly so I know he's fine.
Even tried to reintroduce night feed, that didn't work either.
No idea what to try next, I'm going slowly insane and go on shifts in 2wks

Hi mcrstorm everyone here will feel your pain with the frequent wakings 😴 It's soul destroying

How are you settling him back to sleep currently? I had to keep trying different things over and over until finally I found a way to settle him without picking him up out of his cot. For me it was rolling him into his side and stroking his head as he fell back asleep. I'd tried it before and it hadn't worked but then for some reason, suddenly it did. Then he realised that he could sleep in a position other than on his back and he learned to get comfortable (generally now sleeps face down with bum in the air!) I would keep mixing it up - it's not a very scientific method but you might hit on something...

Hi all, read some of the thread but didnt manage to read it all- am I too early to join with a 4 week old??

I started my own thread yesterday and would really appreciate any feedback/ suggestions. From reading this thread I honestly don't know how I can cope with 10 months or so of waking every 2 hours!

Sleep routine and controlled crying
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/2904513-sleep-routine-and-controlled-crying

My thread

Depends how much he's crying. He's got a pre-molar cutting at mo so mostly restless because of that and had 1yr injections tues which is aweful for a few days.
I try to settle him in cot on his side and pat him to sleep but that only works half the time, or I'm too tired to fight him and we fall asleep in the rockin chair til he's fully asleep then I put him down.
He's just hates sleeping, he won't go down for more than 30mins unless daddy is holding him during the day.
He's never had a dummy and never stops moving, even when he's asleep he moves.

He sounds like a busy little guy. Is he crawling or walking yet?

Other thing is, do you think he might be stuck in a bit of an overtiredness loop at the moment, if he's not sleeping well at night, and not napping great in the day? Makes it more difficult for them to switch off.

Hi again littlemessymiss how have the last couple of nights been with the feeding? It takes so much energy to make changes and follow it through doesn't it. How has it been back at work? I'm starting again on Tues, it hasn't sunk in at all yet.

Hey ladies, welcome to those who have just joined us. After a fabulous couple of nights sleep while the kids were at the in laws, it's been downhill since. DD up lots with tummy ache - we're going through the weaning poo transition from 'baby poo' to 'normal poo'. Several wake ups at the minute. Easter bunny took DS's dummy this weekend which has resulted in a couple of wakeups from him too. Sneaky sod crept into our bed last night! We were considering taking DD's dummy too but as she's so unsettled we've decided not to do it just yet.

mcstorm I really feel for you - I remember a phase similar with DS. He was about 9 months and was teething, started crawling/gearing up to walk/started nursery & picking up germs. It was awful. DH and I took it in shifts. He did up til 1ish and I went to bed to sleep at 8. Then I took over and did the second half of the night. That way we both got a bit of sleep.

Good luck for tues millie, you'll be great. It's nice to feel like a person and not just mum, enjoy a hot cup of tea, go to the loo on your own etc but I do remember how daunting it was. I will also admit I cried after a few days as I was genuinely worried how I could manage it all, being mum, wife, working woman etc. It was hard but getting into a good routine & being organised in an evening ready for the morning helped loads.

mcrstorm I do empathise, it's so hard isn't it? A RL friend has a DS who sounds very similar to yours, he's always been a terrible sleeper. One thing that did help them was getting him a Sleepyhead, as he used to wriggle and wake himself up - sadly they're not cheap but she did think it was worth the cost. And if possible/ practical could you try taking him to an activity that thoroughly wears him out?! DS1 is very active but a Tumble Tots class does ensure a good few hours' sleep from him!

Aren't babies and their poo delightful MrsE?! I certainly will not miss changing nappies once mine are finally old enough to not need them..... I hope you made the most of the DC being away and slept for hours and hours

Have a great time back at work milli although I'm sure it will be strange going a whole day with no-one screaming at you or throwing up on you!! (well hopefully not anyway!) I was planning to go back but was made redundant; I was relieved at the time but with hindsight it would have been much better for me to return part time and have some 'me time', and the boys to experience nursery/ child minder. Oh well, can't be helped, I'm planning to return once they go to pre school. They will of course be sleeping like little angels by then.....!

O mcrstorm, I feel your pain! Currently half sitting, half lying on my sofa with ds sprawled on top of me to try and get him a morning nap! In fact this has turned into our routine of sorts, morning nap on me then walk in the afternoon for a bit more sleep! But obviously this does not allow any sleep for mummy!
Milli I think we may be in a similar situation to you, he naps for well over an hour in the morning but maybe just under the hour in the afternoon but very tired at bedtime. We had a walk and lunch out the other day so he missed morning nap then had hour sleep in the car 3-4 so we put him to bed a bit later and he had a better night (2 wake ups)

He's nearly one and I'm still feeding him twice in the night. Up until a couple of weeks ago he wasn't eating much, but recently he's done so well with food I'm more confident he doesn't need it- and gas had one or two nights with only one feed so I know it can be done.
missy interested in how your no feeding till 2 is working out?

Good luck back at work Milli, I'm kind of in denial still! Definitely thought I'd have stopped feeding in the night by now, but it's just such an easy option!
Good thinking with Easter Bunny and dummy MrsE

Hi all,

I wish i had found this thread sooner! My lovely 10 month old has no routine (other than a bedtime one) is rubbish at naps and nighttime sleep can be hit and miss. The last two nights he took over an hour to go down, fed to sleep then waking on being put down, rocked to sleep then waking, ad infinitum. Tonight, numerous shots feed/rock/rock/feed, and down in 30 mins... His first tooth has cut through in the last couple of weeks and he has a cold, but he's been like this forever. He does sometimes sleep 6-8 hours in a stretch, but not reliably since before Christmas!

I don't know whether I'm posting for advice on how to stop feeding to sleep, night wean, improve daytime naps, get him self settling or all/none of the above. It's just nice to not feel so alone with the 2/3/4am feeds

X

Hello mrsfee
You are definitely in the right place! Take a seat next to me in the land of night waking, erratic bedtimes- i.e. Once the routine is done will he feed to sleep?? Be put down awake and drop off?? Crawl around his cot and climb up the bars for an hour or so??
Even with 2 good naps, a classic 2,3,4 day today it took an hour for ds to get to sleep! My dh is poorly so it will be me doing all the wake ups again! He usually does till midnight, but last time he did ds slept till 1.30!
Hope you get a good block of sleep tonight xx

Last was he'll, woke every 2hrs, but that may be cos of injections he had tues. Bit of a temp today.
He had a nap a breakfast, then short nap at lunch and amazingly a nap at 4. So x ur fingers he sleeps tonight

I hope you didn't have too bad a night scottishbride! Mine was fed (again) at 8.45 then stayed asleep until 3.10! My husband is also ill so it's all falling to me at the moment, too.

Once we've done bath/bedtime routine he feeds to sleep and is put down asleep. He sometimes stirs a little and sometimes needs picking straight up again, but this is trial and error. I feel like a fraud for complaining after last nights two paltry feeds, but that is such an improvement on last week, and actually feels manageable. Naps are a nightmare, though. You can almost set your watch by him having 30 mins only!

Hi mrsfee

This might be a stupid question but have you tried sticking to a daily routine for your DS for a little while? Ours was all over the place til about 8 or 9 months. I just couldn't work out what he needed nap-wise, his sleepy signs were non existent (until it was waaaaay too late) and he was waking up at a vastly different time each morning so I didn't even know when to start. I got so fed up with it, I just started putting him down for his morning nap at 9am regardless (sometimes had to keep him stimulated until then) and he just sort of became accustomed to it. Then a bit of trial and error later, I worked out that nap 2 worked well after 2hr30 or 3hrs wake time. Annoyingly, that looks a lot like the Gina Ford routine (I hate her methods but the timings seem to work well for older babies)

The telling thing was that after about 10 days his naps went from exactly 30 mins to 2hrs+ (if I'd let him) in the mornings - I was literally shocked. And concurrently the nights got a lot better too.

Might be coincidence of course. You never know. But if you haven't tried it, it might be worth a try?

(Oh and we do a short nap time routine too. Just a nappy change, into slumber sack, a story with the lights down low and then into his cot. Takes 5-10 mins. He starts yawning now as soon as I open his book....!)

Hi Milli

Thank you so much for replying. I try to keep a similar routine each day, as much as is possible anyway. Having read your success I'm inclined to persevere! I always tend to aim for the big nap after lunch (is this bad?) though starting two mornings at nursery will totally muck that up! DS seems a happy wee boy, just tired and sleep resistant!